today my world was crushed

[yowsaa]

had stuff i had to do out of town from 10-5 pm today, when I came home, all my wife's stuff was gone and she left me a letter saying it's over. 8 years total now poof.

Were we happy, no. Was I content, yes. Totally shell shocked.

[marc11864]

Wow... sorry to hear guy. Try to hang in there. I believe that everything happen for a reason and that reason is to help us grow.

[anniebc]

I was sorry to hear this..but I think Marc is right, things happen for a reaason..if you weren't happy then the marriage wouldn't have lasted for much longer anyway...there is more to marriage than just being content.

However, I do think your wife could have talked to you about this instead of just walking out...would it have made a difference?..from what you have said I don't really think it would...I know it must be hard for you but I think in time you will realize it's probably for the best.

Thinking of you

Hugs
Jan

[yowsaa]

Hmmm, what can I say. Her other 3 marriages she walked out within 2 years tops, with nothing. My quick calcs put the cost to me at 150-200k, if I get off easy.

Great, alone and hiv+. Aint this life f'n grand. She took both cats to boot. Leaves me with 38k in credit card debt she racked up.

Mended my ways long ago and really thought I was a much better person. Went way above and beyond to help her and her children. Wow, was I used big time. When do good things happen to good people ?

[DanielMark]

Hello from a fellow Canuck, Yowsaa.

Mended my ways long ago and really thought I was a much better person. Went way above and beyond to help her and her children. Wow, was I used big time.

Sorry to hear what's happened. I’ve known loss too. It’s not easy, but there’s always something to be learned in life.

There is an old Welsh saying that says:

“Adversity and loss make a man wise.”

Which is to say, although we have no control over other people’s choices, we do have every control over how we respond to them. That may not be much comfort at this point, but it’s nonetheless a truth.

Maybe it's time to be good to you now,

Daniel

[yowsaa]

As I walk around my "empty" home, it is still 95% furnishedLeather couches, big screen TV, oak kitchen set, etc. What little furnishings she had; coffee and end tables, pictures of her family, knick knacks, etc is what's missing.

I covered 100% of living expenses, majority of food, etc. She has a good job $40k. Which was all spent on her kids and grandkids. eg: Twice flew them all to Disney World.... for a weekend. Did I bitch being left to cover all expenses, no. Always scared to wear cologne the past 8 years as she would accuse me of cheating. Sunday I put buckets of it on !

Where I see the trouble coming is all the appreciated tangible assets I've purchased together. Though with my own cash, I had her name added to 3 different properties and a pre-wedding property I had changed to a rental. I bought my mother a house outright and kept it in moms name. Hopefully that is not touchable. I have a pre-wedding 6 figure single stock portfolio. But if she goes for that too, I'll hit the friggen roof.

That's it, I'm turning gay ! Where do I sign up ?

[RapidRod]

That's it, I'm turning gay ! Where do I sign up ?

I would think twice about that. You think women are bad, guys are worse when it comes to using and taking. You just need a good attorney.

[fondeveau]

And, in Canada, you can marry that man.  Definitely, the men or women you need in your life right now are attorneys, friends, and AM forum buddies?  I can't imagine that, if the marriage was less than two years as her others were, that she would be awarded a great deal in assets, but....keep us posted and best of luck.  It hurts.

[Oh501sguy]

I'm very sorry to hear this.  She took the cowards way out.  Take time for yourself and heal.  You are not alone.  Don't ever feel that way.

Think of it as a new chapter and move forward.

Yes, men are much worse than women, but there are some good men out there too.   

Chuck

[Razorbill]

Sorry to hear about your problem.  Two things one short: Get a lawyer.
and somewhat longer: real relationships are give and take - that includes money.  you made a big booboo shelling out, I have yet to see that work out for the sheller.

[David_CA]

My ex left me pretty much the same way.  I came home from work and found a note on my PC monitor.  It said "I've left and am not coming back. You need to find somewhere else to live because we have to sell the house.  I'll call you in a few days."  Talk about shocked, I couldn't believe it.  

Well, here I am, with the same 4 cats (plus 1 additional), in the same house, but with a husband this time.  I met him online within 3 weeks of her leaving and we spent 13 of the next 14 days together.  A few months later, he moved in.  That was in '99.  She and I (and my husband) are all good friends today.  

The point is that, as others have said, things happen for a reason.  In my case, that's the only way my ex could leave me.  She knew that I would try and change her mind if she told me in person, which I would have.  It did happen for the best, but that doesn't lessen the pain, shock, and anger at the time.  Good luck in dealing with it all.

David

[marc11864]

"That's it, I'm turning gay ! Where do I sign up ?"

Actually, I would send you the forms but my ex took them in the settlement 

[dtwpuck]

That's it, I'm turning gay ! Where do I sign up ?

Well, despite all of the obvious benefits to being gay... having partners who behave responsibly during break ups is not one of them.

However, I think the way she left you is cowardly.  No one deserves that.  My heart goes out to you.

[pozguy75]

I agree with everyone else here...the way she did it is cowardly and selfish!

as for going gay...again, men do the same thing...it's definitely not any easier, I can tell you that!

I am truly sorry to hear this! Get yourself a good attorney and good luck to you my friend!

[fondeveau]

But, if you should decide to go gay, please forward a complete financial disclosure and I promise not to behave in a cowardly way, should we eventually determine that we have irreconcilable differences.