POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => Living With HIV => Topic started by: ImagineFL on September 22, 2006, 05:39:22 pm
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Well... I've been kind of been keeping a secret from everyone.
I met a nice gentlemen a couple of weeks ago and we have been kind of seeing each other. We discussed the whole "exclusive dating" thing last night and we might go in that direction... maybe... read on.
I have been so afraid of relationships and dating for the past two years since I tested positive. In fact, I have not been with a soul since then. The whole disclosure thing just scares the bejezzus out of me!
So, last night we went out for drinks... probably too many and were out on the patio making out when things started going a little further. :o
I got excited rather quickly, being it has been two years since anyone has gone to town on me. I had the devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other... one was screaming to dump my load... the other was telling me to STOP!
Well, I listened to the angel and ended it before I went past the point of no return and performed an emergency disclosure. He kind of had a shocked look on his face and I explained how I got it and what I go through. I told him about my labs, which he understands them (he is a 3rd year medical resident).
So, as much as I hated to tell him this early into what I hope will be a relationship (mother always wanted me to marry a doctor), I just had to do it. I had hoped we would not get sexual this early and he would get to know "me" for who I am and not thing bad of me. :-\
So, he started a 30 hour shift today, so I probably won't hear from him until Sunday (which we had made dinner plans). But who knows... maybe no dinner... he may just be freaked out and our romance will turn into a homance. :(
Anyway.... just wanted to unload this. This is my first chance at love after diagnosis. Keep your fingers crossed for ol' Patsy!
Love ya all,
Patsy
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Patsy...
To answer your question...YES I believe there can be love after HIV.
I hope things work out with your gentleman friend...sounds like you really like him
and I applaude you for making the emergency "disclosure". I'm crossing my fingers
and hoping like hell he calls you after his shift....and being a hopeless romantic. ::) I would
love to see you HAPPY & IN LOVE :P
I hope you-know-who ain't jealous........ :-X
the song, "It shoulda been me..." came to mine when you mentioned GOING TO TOWN :o
I know...I'm terrible...but I can't help myself. Slurp :P
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Hello Pat, it is Eldon.
I just wanted to share with you that there IS love after HIV! You did the right thing!
Have the BEST Day!
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Thank you... I really hope this is the case, as I really like this man.
I'm dead ass tired tonight, but will share the first meeting tomorrow when I am awake and refreshed again...
Prince Xanax is waiting for me... I need to catch up on some Zzzzz's.
Thanks again!
Love,
Patsy
PS -- David, I hope you-know-who is a little jealous! It makes life more exciting! :-*
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Yes there is love after HIV. Dont blow this one!!! Its ok to take things kind of slow.
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Thanks bear... my intentions where to take things slow from the get go... damn hormones, though. :-\
After thinking about the situation all day yesterday, I've decided not to dwell on it. It's God's decision on where this goes next and if its not meant to be, then its not.
I believe that everything happens for a reason. When it first happens, we ask why and get frustrated. Then months or maybe even years down the road you look back and you can see why it happened. Usually something better has come along.
BUT A DOCTOR 12 YEARS MY JUNIOR???!!!! COME ON GOD, I WANT THIS ONE! ;)
Love ya'll
Patsy
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Patsy, I was waiting for this day for you... And deep down, I just knew you would disclose before anything of a risky nature would have happened.. Very proud of you honey and never second guess your decision esp when you are neck deep in passion. No matter what the outcome Patsy, you are acting responsibly and your doctor will certainly agree with you about that! Now, the ball is in his court... You have no control of others and how they process this... But at least, you are giving them the ability to know Patsy inside out... You are my hero...
Love
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Thank you Eric... your words mean a lot to me. :-*
We'll see what happens...
Love you too!
Patsy
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Patsy I ll keep my fingers crossed for you :-*
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Hey Patsy,
You said you wanted him to know the "real you" before things went very far, but look at it this way. The fact that you had the honesty and integrity to pull back from a moment of passion to disclose says VOLUMNS about your real nature - and what it says is ALL GOOD.
Good luck mate and keep us posted.
Ann
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I agree with Ann and the rest of the forums members. The real you is a honest and good person. He should feel lucky for having found you. ;) I had a similar experience a few months ago. It was easy because his ex was also HIV + so I didnīt have to educate him on that subject. Things ended but for other reasons...
If he is a Dr. he shouldnīt behave as an ignorant.
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Hello Pat, it is Eldon.
I also just wanted to mention that I DO admire your HONESTY from the get-go with your potential partner. That should tell him a lot about you and your set of values. When you least expect it, love will be right there in front of you staring you in the face.
Have the BEST Day! and......get some rest!
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Thank you everyone for your words of encouragment... you don't know how much them mean.
<HUGS>
I love you all,
Pats
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I agree with what everyone has said. Kudos to you for giving him the chance to make an informed decision and YES there is lots of love out there HIV or not.
Billy
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Volumns? Me thinks Ann is dipping into the peanut butter again.
I could not agree more though - honesty and integrity above all else. Looks good on ya, Pats.
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Patsy dearest,
If love would mainly consist of sex, there wouldn't be much left of it.
Falling in love is the beginning of loving ( as a verb )
I have found new love since being tested positive.
I am Herman, male, gay and HIV+. Not an HIV+ named Herman.
Good luck to you and enjoy the butterflies....
Hermie
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I hope it works out for you Patsy...this alone stuff is for the birds!
Best of luck. I'll be keeping an interested eye on you. Maybe you can give me some much needed encouragement.
xoxo
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God I hope so. Although its hard for me to think of dating a non-positive person these days. I could not bear the thought of infecting someone.
Brian
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Is there love after HIV?
Most definitely. Just ask my Neg boyfriend, or my Neg ten-year partner before him.
Keep the faith, Patsy.
Daniel
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Patsy is trying... haven't left the phone away from my side all day so far!
Love,
Pats
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Hi Patsy,
Yes there is love. Absolutely. I hope everything works out for you and your doctor friend!
Christine
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Once again, thank you all for your support. :)
It's 6:19 EST and I have not heard from Daniel yet today. :-\ I am giving him the benefit of the doubt that he is still sleeping from his long shift. I did text him twice today to let him know that I was down at Keith's watching the Bucs game (Yeah, I am butch!).
Either way, I will give him until tomorrow before I write him off... well, I won't write him off, I just won't expect too much from him, that way I won't be let down.
Love you all...
Patsy
Erica, Give me a shout! I need a voice to hear besides all the ones running loose in my brain! :P
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Ok sweetie....
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MOM: Did Daniel and you get together today?
Pats: Nope, he never called...
MOM: That sucks, what are you going to do next?
Pats: Go to the bar and call Eric on the way.
MOM: Be careful, maybe you should become a lesbian.
Pats: Thanks Mom, I will take that under consideration.
MOM: Love you pumpkin.
Pats: Love you Zucchini.
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Always sound advise from your Mum... ;)
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The BUCS Game? Oh Dear I heard that Chris Simms went to the hospitol...(He is/was your quaterback(the guy that grabs crotches before each play). I hope you both will be OK...
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They lost... close game though. I checked out Chris's crotch and it was Okay. ;)
The best news of the night...
Right when I was at rock bottom with a G&T in front of me, ready to go homo from the bar, my phone rang.
It was Dan.
He apologized for not calling earlier... said he never got a break on his 30 hour shift and he went home and slept... all day.
Good.
At least he called...
Thanks everyone for the support, it was needed and appreciated! Thank you Erica! You are a dear friend and a great sounding board. I love you precious!
Must get up at 4:30...
Hugs and love,Patsy
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Hey Pat,
It is good news to hear that Dan took a moment out to call you. It is a very good demonstration on his part that he does have a heart and he cares. Please DO keep us posted!
Have the BEST Day!
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You go girl! ;D
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Thats GREAT!
Had my fingers crossed for ya.
Big hugs
Teresa
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Hey Patsy, great news!
About your mom's advice... reminds me of when my mother used to ask me if I thought my sister (who is a lesbian) would ever meet a rich man and get married. I used to tell her maybe, if that man were a lesbian. (well, sometimes I'd say if she met a rich woman she might get married, but that doesn't fit with the situation here) Mom used to go ballistic when I gave her the "man who was a lesbian" line. :D She didn't mind the rich woman line so much. Mom is very materialistic. ~sigh~
Anyway, got my fingers crossed for you Patsy! Good luck!
Ann
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Thank God he called.......
I've been holding my breath for days..........
and I know you have Patsy. :-X
Incidentally you're my hero too......
and YES I'm a little jealous too..... ::)
I want some Patsy luvings, too :P
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Hey Patsy! There's nothing worse then those pre-relationship jitters. It's enough to drive a person to drink ;)
I'm glad to hear he got back to you. Keep us updated.
Jason
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Patsy,
Of course there is love after the diagnosis! You just need a little patience that's all. I personally feel it is best to get the disclosure thing out of the way early on, that way if they freak out, it is before you have any serious emotions invested. I would rather find out that the person I'm interested in can't handle it early on rather than later when I might need to rely on them. I recently started seeing someone a few months ago, and disclosed on our first date. He was amazingly together about it, and it looks like it's going to work out for the long haul. One thing to remember too, is that we get so focused on the HIV, that we forget that there are other reasons that things may not work out. Much luck to you amigo, and keep us informed.
Capt.Carl
P.S. I loved the "Patsytraction" photo. I have a similar one of me trying to fix a broken clutch linkage on my old Land Cruiser, in about 18 inches of smelly black swamp water. Not Fabulous!!
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Thanks Carl :-*
And thanks everyone else... we'll just lay back and see how things play out. Thanks to you all, I am learning!!!
Love to you all!
Patsy!
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I don't know about "love" after HIV but I'm pretty damn sure there is no sex after HIV with a Neg person. This shit has been on my mind for a loooooong time. I can't begin to tell you how many people I have wanted to fuck after knowing my + status. And believe me, its haaaarrrrrrrrddddd. Not to mention the field of attractive women that are + (who will actually admit to it) is slim to none. Part of me says "Hey, you got nabbed, now you have to stick with 1 decent vagina for the rest of your life" and then the other part of me says "Hey, you don't know who gave this shit to you and they didnt care enough to warn you, so go fuck all the hot ass you want and never give your real name or real phone number".
Really, its a bummer.
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Well, I listened to the angel and ended it before I went past the point of no return and performed an emergency disclosure. He kind of had a shocked look on his face and I explained how I got it and what I go through. I told him about my labs, which he understands them (he is a 3rd year medical resident).
that's wonderful to hear Patsy darling! (you'll be rewarded for that!)
Suntropic, hope that inspires you.
GOOD LUCK TO YOU BOTH
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soooooo anyway....
[attachment deleted by admin]
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Erica... <SLAP> :P
I think my Dr. is cuter.
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I new I would get a pic outa ya! Very Nice Patricia... ;D
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I should probably take that picture of him off from here... ::)
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to late... got it...
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YUP ( he is cute tho) all the best
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Danke, picture removed. :)
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Hi Patsy,
There is love after HIV and it's good to be upfront and honest with someone and give them the chance to make the choice of staying or leaving.
It happen for me and it can happen for others too.
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hey, so whats the end of the story? did u see him after disclosure? love- no love?
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gnom,
I know it's not good to assume, but i am taking a chance here assuming that you were asking me for the end.
It's been a year and three months since we met and the relationship is a very good one, we have safe sex. My friend is negative.
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gnom,
I'm getting a little tired of asking you to stay out of this forum. This is the LAST time I'm going to ask you. Next time you get a time out.
Ann