Unprotected sex, disclosure and sexual health clinics

[Ann]

I watched the debate with some friends and tortured them with comments like Mittens really is making some good points , maybe we should vote for him .

Half way into the debate one of my buds was so aggravated we had to take his blood pressure . 

Diabolical!

[DiabloII]

I accept FULL responsibility for my actions of becoming positive.  I too wish the guy who infected me had told me he was poz!  I would have done things differently.  He had known for some time that he was poz but didn't think it was important to say anything.  But again, I assumed he was neg so I can't say it is all his fault!  It's my body and I should have protected it by not having unprotected sex!

What scares me the most is the possibility I WOULD GIVE SOMEONE ELSE HIV!  I would not want to do that for any reason!  Its hard to imagine that anyone else would consciously do so!!

It is strange that a healthcare provider who is responsible for treating you first and foremost because you are his patient, would take this attitude.  I was diagnosed 6-6-12, one of the first things my doc said to me after saying he was sorry was asked if I knew who did it and encouraged me to prosecute the guy!  I thought that was odd since I made the choice to have unprotected sex and I told him so!  Needless to say, he neversaid another word about it!  It was just as much my fault as it was the guy who gave it to me!  However, I am the better person since I will not judgethe guy but rather I accept fault for my own actions!

[MarcoPoz]

A few things come to mind after reading every post in this thread:

Hats off to the moderators here.  Thank you for allowing this discussion to continue despite a bit of bad behavior on the part of some.  Thanks for calling out the feather fluffers when needed, but still allowing all positions to be openly aired.

As always...Ann...you ROCK!

I'm an LTSr and have struggled internally and externally with the moral and ethical labryinth that has been shared in this thread.  The only axiom I've come up with is, whenever someone says that living with HIV is 'chronic and manageable' they have NO idea what they're talking about.  Many times it has felt that HIV has invaded or had to be dealth with, in almost every aspect of my life:  Emotional, intellectual, physical, psychological, philosophical and of course, sexual.  Nothing about living with HIV, for me, has been anything like 'easy'.

In all these areas I've made some bad decisions for good reasons--as well as some good decisions.  Now I've dealt with enough of it to look back over it and see the arc of how and where my decisons were made and where they came from.  My hopes are that knowledge of this will help me with my future decisions.

I can freely admit that the deeply intimate, lustful, romantic and visceral act of having sex free of latex barriers and sharing everything with my sexual partner, including our cum, is one of the blessing I think I get for being human--but also something that fills me with as much fear as it does longing.  I have mitigated risks and live with something 'eh, close enough'.  That's my decision and there isn't anything good/bad or right or wrong with it--just my opinion.

Right now, I'm trying not to stare at my phone and will it to ring.  I'm waiting the results of a biopsy of a tumor in my head--one that has made me quite deaf in one ear.  I've named the tumor, Glen.  My hope is that Glen is nothing more than a bulbous friend who has stayed too long on my couch and needs to be removed--not causing any ill effects in his leaving.

If it is cancer--then there are options.  Just like I've had to make with HIV.  I'm used to this and though it may sound like I'm being cavalier, which I'm not.  I still just live as much as I can today.

The reason for my little schpeel here:  I want to live a full life.  I have always lived a full life.  I decided that I would live life as if I would starve to death if I didn't suck every drop of the syrup each day gives, leaving nothing to go unexperienced.  Yes, that changed for me, especially sexually after my HIV diagnosis.  But it can be moderated so that my partner is fully aware and in control of what she/he enjoys with me, and I with them.

Live long--live full. ;-) 

[jkinatl2]

You and I literally walk the earth today because of the "bad behavior" of others.

I'm starting to find my inner Moffie easier and easier to channel. There's absolutely a place and time for bad behavior. It's usually when people are going to be aghast at it.

[ds4146]

Marco sorry to hear this happening to you and hope the phone call was better news than one might think. Your post was....very heartfelt. Be good to yourself and take care, wishing the best!

[MarcoPoz]

Good news.  The tumor in my head isn't cancerous!

[bocker3]

Good news.  The tumor in my head isn't cancerous!

Woo Hoo -- great news indeed!!

[skeebo1969]

  Good stuff, glad to hear the news Marco.  You should celebrate by drenching someone with your bodily fluids.   Pictures of course....

[MarcoPoz]

Oh Thomas---I definitely plan to! ;-)

[elf]

Protected sex should be practiced.

Philosophically speaking, automatically/obligatory/imposed disclosure is part of imposing slave morality on the doer of the action. Those who think disclosure is not obligatory while practicing sex with condoms have master morality:

Master-slave morality is a central theme of Friedrich Nietzsche's works, in particular the first essay of On the Genealogy of Morality. Nietzsche argued that there were two fundamental types of morality: 'Master morality' and 'slave morality'. Master morality weighs actions on a scale of good or bad consequences unlike slave morality which weighs actions on a scale of good or evil intentions.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Master%E2%80%93slave_morality


You should also read this:
Morality is modified in the lab
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/8593748.stm

Magnetic field affects your morality. That's why my morality changes a lot.
1) Sometimes I strongly believe I should disclose before having sex, even when condoms are used (so, I put myself in a slave position, the rights of the sexual partner are more important than my right of keeping my information to myself)
2) Sometimes I strongly believe I should not disclose (so, I put myself in a master position, my rights are more important than the rights of the sexual partner)

In my country, there are no disclosure laws (only intentional transmission without use of condoms can get you charged), but I still have trouble balancing my slave and my master morality (apparently I'm under influences of various magnetic fields),so I have been abstaining from sex for 4.5 years (ever since I got the virus).

Take care, and focus on good things in life.
More meditation, less gym.
Throw away your TVs (mind control machines), and your cellphones (tracking devices).

Believe in Love.

[mecch]

Elf are you getting some?  Last I remember, you had been celibate since diagnosis.  Maybe I'm remembering completely wrong. 

[phildinftlaudy]

Penguins and horses are two of my favorite animals....

Penguins are so fun and playful - yet have a slight aura of dignity...
And horses - so majestic and calm, yet strong.

Yep - I love penguins and horses.

[Raf]

never mind, my bad. This thread should die already.

[Zohar]

I've not been here for a while so surprised, albeit pleasantly so, to find this thread is still going. It's obviously a discussion worth having.

[skeebo1969]

Penguins and horses are two of my favorite animals....

Penguins are so fun and playful - yet have a slight aura of dignity...
And horses - so majestic and calm, yet strong.

Yep - I love penguins and horses.

Perhaps with global warming the two will be able to mate.  Horsquins would be like the coolest animals on earth, only warmer!

[jkinatl2]

Perhaps with global warming the two will be able to mate.  Horsquins would be like the coolest animals on earth, only warmer!

Imagine an Olympic Water Polo with Horsequins! SOme asshat would likely crossbreed with a Killer Whale though, and ruin it. And then date Sheryl Crow.

[Ann]

I've not been here for a while so surprised, albeit pleasantly so, to find this thread is still going. It's obviously a discussion worth having.

Actually, the last 30 posts have had little to do with the original subject.

It's time this was locked.

*click*

[Andy Velez]

Ann wins the day! LOL LOL LOL Go, Ann!