Main Forums > Living With HIV

Choosing To Die

(1/4) > >>

RMartell:
I was Diagnosed back in 2013. and started meds 2014 to 1020. I have descided to stop any and all HIV medications.
I am now at where my Viral load is doubling.
I have Chosen to let the Virus take over and let whatever will happen to my Body and mind.
Is their anyone out their in their 50s who is HIV Poz and Not on meds?

Jim Allen:
Hiya.

I've moved your post to this section as it's anything but an " off-topic."  subject.

Now I know that my response might not be the most popular, but ill post it anyway.

I can think of better, less horrific ways of going out, but each to their own. I'm sorry to hear that you have reached this point in your life. I'm sure you have your reasons and have given this great deal of thought and discussed it already. So ill not question that, but if you want to talk, let me know.

You mention doubling the viral load, I presume that means you still see a healthcare provider, they are aware of your plan, and your health is still being monitored?

Ultimately, it is your choice. If you choose to continue on this path, my only thought would be to finish any bucket list items sooner rather than later and keep your healthcare provider informed.

Best Jim.

Almost2late:

--- Quote from: RMartell on December 29, 2021, 03:59:14 pm ---I was Diagnosed back in 2013. and started meds 2014 to 1020. I have descided to stop any and all HIV medications.
I am now at where my Viral load is doubling.
I have Chosen to let the Virus take over and let whatever will happen to my Body and mind.
Is their anyone out their in their 50s who is HIV Poz and Not on meds?

--- End quote ---

We have this in common.. we were both diagnosed around the same time, and in our 50's. I admit I also had thought of checking out the same way early after my diagnosis bc of the shame of being HIV+. But I came to realize that life is precious, full of wonder, and is not forever.. I prefer to ride it out with a "let's see what happens" attitude.
Death is something we all will have to succumb to sooner or later.. I guess I'd hate to check out before my time and miss out on the future.. good or bad.

Most HIV+ people in their 50's who have access to antiviral medication choose to live as long as possible. In some parts of the world access is hard, and those people I'm sure would love access to those life saving drugs your doctor prescribes for you.

Death by way of aids is going to be long and painful. I hope you change your mind.. it's not worth it, take your meds.

leatherman:

--- Quote from: Almost2late on December 29, 2021, 06:24:29 pm ---Death by way of aids is going to be long and painful.

--- End quote ---
ain't that the truth. My first partner died in 94 when there was only AZT. It was a miserable death that took 18 months of him dying. My second partner died in 2008 after being diagnosed and untreated too late. It was a fucking miserable death too that only took 3 months. I nearly died myself a couple of times (so i actually do know how miserable you are before dying since I just barely survived); but here I am 25 different HIV meds and 26 yrs later about to hit 60.


--- Quote from: RMartell on December 29, 2021, 03:59:14 pm ---I am now at where my Viral load is doubling.

--- End quote ---
btw
you never actually mentioned your viral load. What do you mean by doubling?
and
talk to your doctor and change meds, for goodness sake!
this isn't 1994 and there are plenty of options.

daveR:
A hard post to read. If it is a cry for help, you have come to the right place. Many on here have lived with HIV for a long time, I read and take inspiration from their posts.

I am in my 50's, life has been problematic since I was diagnosed, especially work wise. There have been a couple of times when I say to myself, why bother. Just go out naturally. But I always look deep for an alternative, a reason to carry on with the pills. And I always see a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel. Do the same, look for a reason, somebody out there will miss you.

Dave

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

Go to full version