POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => Living With HIV => Topic started by: Angel-Ronnie on May 04, 2007, 06:00:31 am
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It has been a while since I wrote on here but here goes. It is nearly a year since my dx and must say I feel great at this point in my life, still have the yearning in my heart for my family to be around me but it is now 15 months that I still haven't spoken to them because of my status and other things that pushed us apart. I am seeing a guy who is negative and it is going fantastic couldn't have asked for a better person to be with he supports me in so many ways a partner can. Love him to bits He has accepted me with every little flaw I have and he never asks me how I got it frankly I don't know who gave it to me but also I have moved on with my life living a normal healthy lifestyle.
Somedays it all seems so unreal but then I jerk myself back to the reality of hiv and the way my life is now. So far I have been lucky not to be on meds and have changed my whole way of living. It works wonders for me no pun intended here but has brought so much positive things in my life that I never had before including love from another. I have tried before to mend things with my family to no avail but at least i have tried to make ammends with them.
I do not blame them for how my life turned out but was looking for their support and though I have more support from my friends who needs their stigma and insults, yes family is important but how important am I to them. I have been through sexual abuse from an early age six to thirteen to be exact to name one but yet always showing more love than what I got from them and I still will go back many times if I can because love is greater than anything in this world. But I will wait patiently for the day that we will be a family again.
I am now a chaplain to help our emergency services here in Johannesburg South Africa and am also busy writing a book and my poetry when time alllows me to or I make time for it also starting a support group where I could be of help to others who are newly diagnosed.
My life has changed in such a way that it surprises me to what extend one can go when something like hiv comes one's way.
Peace and love to all
Angel
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Angel,
I see you have learned so very much on this path, and still carry some regrets with the family. Please don't bury yourself with some of these feelings. Your family gave you life, and you are definitely living that life, so please don't beat yourself up too much about things in the past you cannot change.
So glad you have a partner to share some of the joys and burdens of this trip, and thank the good Lord that he is of a peaceful spirit and a kind heart. You deserve nothing less.
Love,
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Tim,
Thank you yes in a way I am beating myself up with the family I thought that my disclosing to them will bring us closer but it has not should have thought it would we only learn from our mistakes don't we, but none the less i have been to a psychologist and it is helping me quite a bit on dealing with past issues. Life is great otherwise.
Like I said to a friend I have accepted the things I can change and letting go of the one's I can't and it is working wonders when one can stick to it.
Angel