New to forums and being poz

[statichope]

Hey everyone, just wanted to introduce myself and say hi. I was diagnosed positive on October 11, 2010 and have since started treatment and according to my Dr. I am doing very well. Within 2 months of Isentress and Truvada my cd4 went 251-467, VL 156k-UD now, no side affects from the medication that I can tell or know of unless this insomnia I am getting and anxiety could be part of it, I just assume its due to everything going on.

The same thoughts and feelings as most of the posters, the feeling of emptiness, loneliness, depression, sad for myself but also for my family and friends (of all the people I had to tell about this I had to tell 3 of my best friends, luckily they are all negative). I have been reading over this site and thebody.com really since I found out just to educate myself and to see what I HAVE to do in life and must admit the info available is amazing and overwhelming at the same time. I can wake up and tell myself, I will fight this and I will live for my family (I do have kids that live with their moms) and myself and I will not let it drag me down and not 3mins later I am quickly slipping down scared of what will happen in the future and what about when I get older, what about when I want to change jobs, what about when I want to move, what if someone finds out? I am very scared as I know most are/was at some point, you know how scary this is...Where I am, the only support group I have found is 1x a week and costs weekly to attend..I don't feel I should have to pay for support for what I am going through you know, so I have not gone.
 The only people I have been able to talk to about this have been my immediate family and my best friends who had to get checked because of me but also stood by me at that time when I needed someone but its not the same since they don't know what I am going through..They do give me such awesome support and you can tell they mean it and love me and that does help so much...but I feel something is missing, we will see what the future holds

Sorry for the wall of text, just wanted to post and say hi and thank you for the site and all it has to offer. I do look forward to chatting and meeting you all

[komnaes]

Sorry about the news SH, but welcome to the forums nonetheless.

Many of us have experienced mood swings during the initial period after diagnosis.. it may be hard to believe now, but it will get better, as many of us can tell you from our own experiences.

Many of us also find joining support groups helpful.. if nothing else it offers a safe and friendly environment for us to share our problems and feelings with others HIVers. It does sound strange that your group is charging - do you mean like actual fees? If you let us know your area (especially in North America, as a large portion of users here are from the US), some of us maybe able to point to other available resources nearby. And have you spoken to your clinic? They may also be able to help. It would be a shame if you're not joining because of costs.

Good luck my friend .. Shaun

[statichope]

Thank you =)

I am in the Austin Texas area. I have contacted AIDS Services of Austin who pointed me to The Powell clinic who then pointed me to Waterloo center who said they are the only support group in the area and that they charge a fee per session to sit in on (group wise, single session costs as well but a bit more).
I also tried  Communicare in San Marcos who I left 3 different voicemails with over a weeks time and never had a call back from, apparently they would have been my case worker to help me find a dr. and get started on my first labs but because I tried 3 times to get their help and they never showed any care I said screw it and found a Dr. on my own and did the labs on my own and well have yet to talk to anyone else like this.. So if anyone knows of any good groups in my area please let me know, I would love to be able to talk to others like myself..as of now, I work, come home, stay here alone, go to sleep and go back to work..its a very lonely and sad life at this point. I have started hiking some and love it! but there isn't any real people to people interaction with that
I am trying to get out as you can see and show myself that this isn't the end and I can beat this and live a good normal life, we will see what happens

[buginme2]

Wow you got to love Texas.

Welcome!

[drewm]

Welcome to the forums. I am from Houston 

[mikeyb39]

Hi stat,

welcome to the forum!  I'm in Dallas and it seems to be that way here as well.  There is a place here, but they charge a copay everytime you go in to speak to one of the counselors and to be honest I went 3 times before i actually got to speak to a counselor and I didn't get anything out of it.  I felt like I threw 60.00 bucks out the window.

I was just diagnosed in November and was hoping to be able to get information from folks that are positive and that could answer questions since i had a ton of them in my head.  The guy that i met with seemed to be more interested in my private and family life rather than the issue i was there for.  So that's when i was able to find these forums and at least i can listen to nice folks and ask questions or get information.

The weird thing is that I had a few friends here in Dallas that I knew were positive and was hoping to get some support from them, but they didnt ever seem to want to discuss it or get together.  I talked to them more when i was negative, so go figure. But anyways this is a good place to come to if you need to get questions answered although some of this stuff can be overwhelming.  Thankfully I have a great doctor i can talk to about anything so that helps alot as well.

[komnaes]

Hey there SH,

Now that you've met some of your fellow Texans..!

Sorry I can't help much on finding the resources you seek.. just another suggestion, perhaps you can try posting in the "Living With HIV" section with an explicit heading asking for information on support groups and other services in Austin so folks won't miss it. The traffic there is also higher.

I am a big supporter of support groups.. hope you soon find what works best for you!

Best of luck, Shaun

[CaptCarl]

Hey there SH, and welcome to the Forums. I hope that we can help you on your journey through HIVland. It can be a frightening place to be, but with the help of others who have been there, it will be a little easier. I think that part of the problem you are experiencing may be due to funds being cut for many social programs. A support group can be immensely helpful, especially when newly diagnosed. There is a lot of info out there, and not all of it is correct. Remember to always get secondary advice/information on any question you may ask.

The forums here will be able to help you a lot. In general, there are a lot of truly wonderful people here that will do whatever they can to help out. Any time of the day, there will be someone here to talk to. It's scary being newly diagnosed, there are so many things to think about, but eventually you'll figure out which path is best for you. It's easy to become overwhelmed by it all, but by and by, it will get easier. Keep coming back, it's what we're here for.

CaptCarl

[statichope]

Thanks for the replies. I hate to hear that you are going through the same thing in Dallas, I assumed Dallas and Austin would have the most support groups to pick from, not the exact opposite.

You guys are right, this is a VERY scary trip, but I am reading everyday on different aspects and subjects concerning what I have. For some reason I still can't say the letters, but my family and friends always know what I am talking about. I have even told my mother about this site and the forums so she can read up, stay informed and maybe even throw down some words if she feels like she needs to. This past year for her and well for my family has been the worst we have ever had to go through, my infection, a diabetic in the immediate family and we lost my little brother. So I know she needs someone to talk too, how could she not..so now just to get her pc to stop crashing randomly

I am back home which is a few hours from where I currently live and of all places I found a support group that looks to be very promising, Ribbons of Light, is the name. I plan on dropping by today and see how it is and what all it is about. For some reason when I think of any type of support group all I can think of is a circle of people in those uncomfortable chairs like AA talking about what we all have, how we are feeling and the such..Kinda hope that is how it is, would be a let down I think if it is done any other way...

As for my questions, most have been answered just by reading this site and other sites, there is a LOT of awesome and useful information out there

Thank you everyone for the welcomes

[CaptCarl]

SH

Remember that sometimes the Support Groups can be a bit intimidating too. When I lived in Utah, the newly diagnosed were sent to a different group just for them. Seems that it was scary for them to hear about HIV/AIDS being joked about by the people who had been infected for awhile, and it scared a few off.

My first support group I ever went to was in Connecticut in a freakin' mental hospital of all places To make things even more interesting, I was the only white guy there, as well as the only gay guy. All the others were African-Americans and had contracted it through IV drug use. It was intimidating for me, but every one of them made me feel comfortable. They were a great bunch, and far more interesting than the the predominantly gay white male group that I eventually found my way to. I stuck with the first group as I was (much to my surprise) more comfortable with them. They were far less judgemental 

Good luck with Ribbons of Light

CaptCarl