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Author Topic: Just checking in  (Read 75791 times)

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Offline Jeff G

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  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: Just checking in
« Reply #150 on: October 15, 2015, 03:57:05 pm »
There is no sugar coating this … this just plain fucking sucks.

The only thing that keeps me from loosing my shit over this is I know Alan and I know his strength and determination and I know you will get thorough this with the love and support of Layne, sweet beautiful layne and your friends and family . About one of the worse things that can happen to a southerner is to take his food away … we will have to find better things to do now and expand our horizons.
HIV 101 - Basics
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Offline Wade

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Re: Just checking in
« Reply #151 on: October 15, 2015, 06:30:18 pm »
Alan,
I'm having a hard time finding the words I want to write.
I read your thread again and you have been through so much.
You are one tough and determined man, my heart goes out to you both.
I'm glad you have so much love around you.
Never say never , one never knows what good things are around the corner.
I will email you !
Wade
HIV 101 - Basics
 HIV 101
 You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
 HIV Transmission and Risks
 You can read more about Testing here:
 HIV Testing
 You can read more about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
 HIV TasP
 You can read more about HIV prevention here:
 HIV prevention
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 PEP and PrEP

Offline OneTampa

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  • "Butterflies are free."
Re: Just checking in
« Reply #152 on: October 15, 2015, 07:06:17 pm »
Alan,

Like other Board Members my heart aches for you.

I hope I can see the screen and keyboard as I type through the tears.

You are a Soldier of Strength and Determination and a Precious Child of Earthly Spirit.

What a blessing to have your Partner Layne by your side.

Please know that you have and continue to make a profound and wonderful impact on all of us here.

I wish you the very best.

Love and Hugs,

OT

"He is my oldest child. The shy and retiring one over there with the Haitian headdress serving pescaíto frito."

Offline guitargal

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Re: Just checking in
« Reply #153 on: October 16, 2015, 12:36:23 am »
So sad to hear about the tube Alan. .. my friend with ALS has had one for quite a few years.  so glad you have a good partner, a caring partner, 

maybe you can wrap a nice silk, velvet or damask sash around your bod when you are naked and pretend you are a pirate or something?

best to you
D
What a long strange trip it's been

Offline BT65

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Re: Just checking in
« Reply #154 on: October 16, 2015, 08:39:33 am »
God Alan.  That's a very, very tough situation.  You have so much strength. I would probably be ranting, every day.  You have my phone number, I'm here if you need to talk or text.  My thoughts and prayers are definitely with you.

Betty
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Condom and Lube Info https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/safer-sex
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Offline wolfter

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Re: Just checking in
« Reply #155 on: October 20, 2015, 01:23:11 am »
Alan, I'm so sorry.  Words escape me at the moment.  Like you, I've been absent a lot lately but this just pains me. 

My greatest energy is targeted towards you.
Being honest is not wronging others, continuing the dishonesty is.

Offline AlanBama

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  • Alabama: the 'other' 3rd World Country!
Re: Just checking in
« Reply #156 on: October 27, 2015, 08:07:59 pm »
All the lovely messages have uplifted me greatly. Thank you so much, dear support group, for SUPPORTING me!!

I'm doing fairly well.  I'm worried about Layne.  This has taken a huge toll on him.  To begin with, his immune system hasn't been in great shape. He's a LTSer who can never get his T cell count over 200.  He's got his own share of health problems; we've both had some really nasty sinus and head cold mess going on.  The antibiotics they gave me are worse than the sinus problems!  Now my stomach has pretty much turned to water.

I'm hoping for brighter days ahead.  Wishing you all a very Happy Halloween!  It's always been my favorite holiday.  I didn't even get my decorations out of the storage room.  It's about all we can do to just keep functioning every day.

Love to all; your caring words mean so much to me!  Many thanks for brightening my life.

Hugs -- Alan
"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline aztecan

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  • 36 years positive, 64 years a pain in the butt
Re: Just checking in
« Reply #157 on: November 04, 2015, 09:49:19 pm »
Alan,
There isn't too much I can say, except please know you are always in my thoughts and prayers.

I know you are strong. You have been through more than lesser men could have survived.

I will continue to send as much positive energy and strength to you as I possibly can.

I send BIG HUGS to both you and Layne.

Mark
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline mitch777

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Re: Just checking in
« Reply #158 on: November 10, 2015, 06:04:10 pm »
I couldn't say it better than Mark did.

More big hugs from me too.
33 years hiv+ with a curtsy.

Offline AlanBama

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  • Alabama: the 'other' 3rd World Country!
Re: Just checking in
« Reply #159 on: December 21, 2015, 03:30:32 pm »
Just wanted to wish all of you a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

2016 will just HAVE to be a better year for me!   All those who know me know my thing about even/odd years.   Most of the worst shit that has ever happened to me over the years has happened primarily in odd numbered years.   True, my cancer diagnosis and surgery was technically in 2014 (the end of), but the brunt of it all has been in 2015.

I want to wish all of you Happy Holidays, and may 2016 be a brighter year for us all.
Thanks again for all the love and support you have shown me this year; I don't think I could have made it otherwise.

LOVE from Alan
"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline BT65

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Re: Just checking in
« Reply #160 on: December 21, 2015, 05:29:42 pm »
Merry Christmas to you also my friend. Love you!

Betty
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Condom and Lube Info https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/safer-sex
Please check out our lessons on PEP and PrEP. https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/pep-prep

https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/treatmentasprevention-tasp

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Just checking in
« Reply #161 on: December 21, 2015, 06:41:26 pm »
Merry Christmas Alan … love you dearly.
HIV 101 - Basics
HIV 101
You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
HIV Transmission and Risks
You can read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
You can read more about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read more about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
You can read more about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline mitch777

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Re: Just checking in
« Reply #162 on: December 21, 2015, 06:53:57 pm »
Same goes for me Alan. Wishing you the best holidays and looking forward to hearing that 2016 will be you're year.
33 years hiv+ with a curtsy.

Offline leatherman

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Re: Just checking in
« Reply #163 on: December 21, 2015, 08:07:56 pm »
Merry Christmas to you and yours!!  :-*

no matter how good or bad a year is, I always think it's good to be rid of it (I mean, 365 days is like forevah!). That gives us a brand new year for things to change, to be different, to happen! WooHoo! Here's to 2016!
leatherman (aka Michael)

We were standing all alone
You were leaning in to speak to me
Acting like a mover shaker
Dancing to Madonna then you kissed me
And I think about it all the time
- Darren Hayes, "Chained to You"

Offline wolfter

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Re: Just checking in
« Reply #164 on: December 21, 2015, 11:32:43 pm »
Merry Christmas and happy holidays to you.  I agree about the year though.   I freaking want 2015 gone!.

huge hugs buddy
Being honest is not wronging others, continuing the dishonesty is.

Offline Wade

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Re: Just checking in
« Reply #165 on: December 22, 2015, 08:51:45 am »
Merry Christmas Alan ! 
Here's to a better New Year  !!

XOXO  Wade
HIV 101 - Basics
 HIV 101
 You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
 HIV Transmission and Risks
 You can read more about Testing here:
 HIV Testing
 You can read more about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
 HIV TasP
 You can read more about HIV prevention here:
 HIV prevention
 You can read more about PEP and PrEP here
 PEP and PrEP

Offline AlanBama

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  • Alabama: the 'other' 3rd World Country!
Re: Just checking in
« Reply #166 on: May 24, 2016, 03:02:36 pm »
Apologies for not posting for so long.  I just don't come to the forums much these days -- pretty much visit with folks on Facebook.

I'm doing o.k.    On these questionnaires at doctors' offices that I fill out, and they ask "how would you rate the overall state of your health today?"    I check FAIR.

Nothing has changed much for me; I still rely on my Gastric tube for everything, both nutrition and hydration.   We buy those large cans of gatorade mix, because I go through so much of it.  For the first part of this year, I was able to swallow a little water, and even eat things like pudding and jello.   I've lost that ability now, and cannot even take a sip of water (without having a coughing fit).   So I rarely even try anymore.   It's just not worth the effort.

I've reverted back to some "90's AIDS behaviors" again.....mainly, adult diapers.
Yes, I now have to sleep in one.   At least I don't have to wear one during the day.  But at night, I just have no control.   People in my ENT Support Groups say it is sometimes common for this to happen to people who live on a strictly liquid diet.   It certainly chips away your dignity.

Layne and I are handling everything that comes at us; we may not handle it very well, and our house is certainly not the orderly neat home I once kept.....but we get by.   We do our best to manage our limited energy.   If we feel good, we try to get a few things done.   If not, we don't worry about it.

I still have a lot of bitterness and resentment, that my health care team allowed a lump on my neck (which we pointed out and complained about for over a year) to reach Stage 3 malignancy before they did anything about it.   But like so many other things in my past, what's done is done, there's no going back. We've stopped going to church (I can no longer take communion) and I guess you could say that we have both questioned our faith.   Pretty much the only person or thing we can depend on is each other.

I hope everyone is doing well; so happy that Jeff is settled and doing great in Palm Springs.   We miss him being in Alabama, but he did the right thing, and I am so proud of the things he is accomplishing.

Love to all,
Alan

"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline BT65

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Re: Just checking in
« Reply #167 on: May 25, 2016, 07:11:09 am »
Oh Alan, if I lived closer I would take care of your house.  I am so sorry to hear of you questioning your faith, only because I know how important that was to you (not because I am a big church person).  You have my number; anytime my friend.

Luv you bunches,
Betty
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Condom and Lube Info https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/safer-sex
Please check out our lessons on PEP and PrEP. https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/pep-prep

https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/treatmentasprevention-tasp

Offline Wade

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Re: Just checking in
« Reply #168 on: May 25, 2016, 09:11:10 am »
Hi Alan,
It was great seeing a post from you!
You have a kind , brave and generous soul and I think not going to church will change that.  I'm not much of a church person either .
Many don't check in here any more because of facebook , so I miss alot.
I'm stubborn and have not joined , Im also very happy for Jeff , he loves P Sprngs !
I wish you and Layne the best and hope that things get easier for you both.

Best , Wade
HIV 101 - Basics
 HIV 101
 You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
 HIV Transmission and Risks
 You can read more about Testing here:
 HIV Testing
 You can read more about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
 HIV TasP
 You can read more about HIV prevention here:
 HIV prevention
 You can read more about PEP and PrEP here
 PEP and PrEP

 


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