POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => In Memoriam => Topic started by: confidentIwillbeOK on November 13, 2009, 12:51:42 am
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Dear Readers,
This is is Adam posting using Steve's account. Unfortunately, Steve has died in a tragic skydiving accident. He will be missed. Here is a link to the article. http://www.thebostonchannel.com/news/21592571/detail.html
Thank you,
Steve's partner of 10 years
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Oh my God. How horrible. My thoughts and prayers are with you, Adam, as well as Steve's family and your family.
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Dear Adam,
I'm so sorry for your loss. It must be such a shock for you, to lose him in such an abrupt manner. My thoughts are with you and your families.
I added Steve to our directory - as Steve H (aka forum member "CONFIDENTIWILLBEOK"). I almost used his full last name, but decided against it as you didn't use it in your post. I don't know the circumstances as to whether or not he was out about his status to friends and family, so I didn't want them to end up here if they googled his name to find news items about his death. You've all got enough on your plate right now without inadvertent disclosure being added into the mix.
Another forum member, who met Steve at the AMG, has posted a link to this thread in the Living forum, so please also visit that thread. click here (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=29888.0)
Thank you for posting, Adam. Please take care of yourself during this stressful time.
(((((Adam)))))
Ann
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During the short time he was on these forums he made quite an impression. I always enjoyed reading his posts, which were always thoughtful, caring and intelligent (and never boring!). I didn't meet him personally but just from reading his posts on here it was obvious he was quite a guy.
His reaction to getting HIV was very inspiring to me. He faced it head on and did not seem scared. He saw it as another of life's challenges and faced it with strength and dignity. He will be missed.
I like to think, in keeping with his user name, that he is definitely OK.
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Hello Adam,
I watched this story on the evening news and now to learn it was a forum member, brings it close and is all the more saddening. I am sorry for your loss and Steve's family's loss.
Having taken two jumps, although tandem, I had a taste of what a thrill it is to be suspended in the quiet before drifting into sounds of nature and the noise of human existence.
May you, his family and friends take some measure of comfort knowing he died doing something that delighted him.
Em
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I am so sorry of your loss. Steve was only with us for a short time but he will surely be missed...
Shaun
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So sorry to read about this. I had read the story previously and thought "how horrible". My condolences.
Camms
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I'm so sorry to hear this. I never met Steve but enjoyed his posts. His personality really shined through and he was so kind and helpful. My condolences.
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hi adam.
this is incredibly sad to read.
steve & i were diagnosed at roughly the same time...within days of one another. we both found this site shortly thereafter. in fact, steve was one of the first people i had spoken with on this forum. it was through online messages that steve recommended that i buy gallant's book, 101 questions about hiv. steve was knowledgeable, articulate and above all, confident. both steve and the book helped me understand the new life that i was embarking upon. i will miss chatting with him here on the forum and checking up on how each other was doing.
i wish for you all of the healing power that steve's love for you commanded. you were his rock. he had mentioned how blessed he felt to be going through his diagnosis with your support as his partner, and as someone who was also recently diagnosed not too far before him. this time must be no doubt devastating to you, with your own diagnosis, then steve's and now, his sudden loss.
i wish you continued good health and strength...to carry on with your life, as i am confident steve would want. please take care of yourself.
hugs,
max
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Adam-
I am so sorry to hear this horrible news. I am shocked and can't even to begin to imagine how you and his other family members are feeling. Steve was such a thoughtful, caring person with a great sense of humor.
I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.
Please let me know if there is anything I can do.
Snow
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Adam, I am extremely sorry for your loss and very saddened by these news. Steve and I interacted via PM quite often as we both joined the forums around the same time. I was looking forward to meeting him at next year's AMG. He was always such a kind and caring fella with lost of support and good advice for new members. He always mentioned you as his hubby with much love and respect.
Again, my condolences. You are in my thoughts.
Milo
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Steve posted the following quotes from Gallant's book in a message to someone else who had just been diagnosed. He said, if I remember right, that he wrote this to send to his mother after he had told her. I read it on these boards and it meant a lot to me. Seems appropriate to post it again here. Thanks you for this Steve:
* (first sentences in the book) Your prognosis is excellent! HIV infection is not the progressive, fatal illness it was in the late 80's and early 90's.
* With the right treatment, HIV infection is now a chronic, manageable disease.
* If it didn't come with so much emotional, social, and historical baggage, people would react to the diagnosis the way they might if they learned they had diabetes or arthritis.....treatment for HIV is now easier and more effective than treatment for either of those diseases.
* The development of antiretroviral therapy is up there with the discovery of penicillin as one of the most important and effective medical achievements of the 20'th century, and treatment keeps getting better in the 21'st. ART has completely changed the outlook for people with HIV infection
* If you take your medications faithfully, you can keep HIV in check indefinitely, having to change therapy only because of side effects or because better drugs come along....you should plan on sticking around for a long time, living long enough to die of old age
* ...I do feel comfortable telling my patients that,together, we can almost eliminate the possibility that they'll ever die of AIDS
* It may be hard to believe now but in time HIV infection may be low on your list of daily concerns, having little impact on the life you lead and the decisions you make
* ....fortunately, treatment today is highly effective, and deaths from HIV disease are now mostly preventable in countries where therapy is available and affordable
* ....treatment can prevent HIV infection from turning into AIDS, and it can restore the health of people with AIDS
* It's also worth noting that most of the other diseases that we suffer from in the developed world are also chronic, incurable, but treatable diseases. Think of diabetes, high blood pressure, coronary artery disease, heart failure, arthritis - none of them curable, all of them manageable (though not always as easily manageable as HIV infection)
* Someday - maybe not in my lifetime, we'll cure HIV infection
* In about 15 years, we've seen HIV infection go from being an almost universally fatal, untreatable illness to a manageable, chronic disease and treatment became easier and better in the 10 years that followed.
And he always mentioned you you, Adam, were doing. Hang in there. I can't imagine what we can do for you but please know you'll find infinitely deep support here.
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I wanted to say how sad it was to hear that 'confidentIwillbeOK' passed away in that tragic skydiving accident in California. Having never met Steve in person, I could tell he was a caring and compassionate individual. His words helped me through the early days of learning about my HIV status.
Adam, his partner, has all my best wishes and thoughts as he grieves during this horrible moment.
Steve, you will be missed by all of us on this forum - your mark in life will not fade.
With Love,
J
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I am so sorry for your loss. I was just replying to one of his posts. It is crazy the stuff life throws at us. Best wishes for you and your family
Crystal
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Dearest Adam
I have just got home after being away studying for a week and was shocked to read this awful news, my heart is with you, his family and his friends..I'm glad I got to meet you guys in Boston, it was all to short but very sweet.
R.I.P Steve
In sadness
Jan :'(
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Steve and I were diagnosed also at roughly the same time and his posts were always an inspiration to me and I'm sure many, many others. His posts were so full of information and vitality. He will surely be missed. So sad to hear this news and wishing all the best for you, Adam.
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Adam:
Like Jan I've only just now discovered this thread. I'm absolutely in shock.
Meeting the two of you in Boston was one of the highlights of AMG. I'm so very sorry for your loss.
My heart goes out to you and your families.
RIP Steve
RAB :'(
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Wow. This is a shock, I always enjoyed his posts because he had obviously done his research and didn't have the woe is me attitude of so many of us new diagnosis members. I liked the screenname "CONFIDENTIWILLBEOK" because it was so optimistic, which is something we could all use more of. Adam, sorry you are having to deal with such a tremendous, unexpected loss. :-[
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I am VERY shocked and COMPLETELY bummed out to hear this news!
I was always impressed by the upbeat positive tone of Steve's posts and he once PM'd me about something I had posted and he was just very pleasant and friendly. He seemed like a genuinely nice guy. I am so sorry to hear about his passing.
Adam, my thoughts are with you. I hope you will draw strength from the knowledge that Steve is watching out for you wherever he is.
Be well.
~Sid
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Adam,
I am so sorry for your loss, His posts were so inspiring.
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hi there Adam,
its mikee from the philiippines.
im so sorry to hear what happened. my condolences to you and steve's family and friends. i believe i came across his post recommending the two books which could help us understand this condition better.
though i know just a little or nothing at all bout him and what he has gone through since im new in here, the fact that we lost one of our brothers saddened me.
please do take care of your self in these stressful times.
were just here.
ill include steve, his family and friends and YOU in my prayers.
always hopeful,
mikee...
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Here's a really nice tribute and some beautiful pictures of Steve ...
http://www.flockuniversity.org/
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Adam...I'm so sorry for your tragic loss of Steve.
:'(
Jody
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I, too, just discovered this post and recall meeting you both in Boston. What a tragedy! Life is often too short, but it seems that Steve lived it to its fullest. I hope his legacy will be to inspire others to live their lives to the fullest as well. My deepest sympathies Adam...
Gary
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Adam,
I am so sorry to hear about Steve. Steve and I conversed a few times and I was so impressed with his knowledge and enthusiasm. He was interested in starting treatment early like I did, but he was most concerned about you and med school.
I also noticed we share the same birthday..November 25.
God Bless and you are in my thoughts and prayers,
Paul
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Too sad for words....
Life is unfair.....
xxx hermie
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Adam:
I watched this on the local news and was so saddened by the story. If there is one redeeming factor is that you live here in Massachusetts, where you and Steve were able to be legally married and declare your love through those vows to the entire world.
My deepest sympathies in your loss.
Steve is watching you and watching over you!
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Adam
I am shocked and saddened to read this. Steve and I had become poz at almost the same time and joined this forum at almost the same time.
His posts were so full of hope; they helped me immensely and made me me see things in a much more positive light. He replied my queries with lots of useful information also and was so upbeat about the future. He will be missed by many.
Take care of yourself;
-Frank