Poz American living overseas

[Mendicant]

Hi folks,

I used to have a friend who came to this forum many years ago, a and that's how I heard about it.
Life has been nothing but a rollercoaster with full dose of every imaginable beating one can have.
Having to quit a very nice paying job in the US, not once but four times because of health issues brought me to the point of wanting to give up on life and wait for the inevitable.

Diagnosed in 2002 in the US, I struggled with health issues for almost nine years. Not that I did not take HIV meds in 2003, I believe it was combivir and azt. In a few months I was violently sick, serious anemia, hair, nails stopped growing, major weight loss, the doctor decided to stop the meds. I was also diagnosed with systemic candidiasis now.

But I think the meds effects continued for many more years.

Then I got puuemonia in late 2007, the had me hospitalized for 10 days. After recovering I again tried to join the US workforce but it did not last longer than 2010.

I had serious peripheral neuropathy in both legs by this time. CD4 down less than 50.

In 2010 I started Indian version of Atripla called Viraday. In 2011 I may have had IRIS being on meds where I had the worst shingles on my face and scalp. When I went back to work in about 10 days, they let me go ( I wonder if the insurance co shared my illness info with them).

Then because of a family emergency I moved overseas to India in late 2012 hoping that cost of medicine will be affordable which it was. I responded very well to treatment and cd4 was going up and up and up. From 368 in the US, I was monitoring every six months, it shot up to 868 in June 2015.

Here comes my downfall since then. I can never forgive myself for being suicidal when life was going so well for me. I was traveling to the US, and other international destinations. I became smug and complaisant and decided to stop the meds in July of 2015. Nothing happened initially but a cd4 test in Dec 2015 had dropped my cd4 to 290. I was left scratching my head as I had read on many sites that a loss of 50-100 is the norm. Apparently not if you are on meds, it just spirals out of of control immediately.

2016 saw a very aggressive oral thrush that would not respond to diflucan. And oh btw, I have started taking Viraday again but now I don't know if the virus is resistant.

Things came to pass in early 2017 where I'm violently sick again, serious bacterial, fungal and viral overgrowth

I had to be transported to Delhi for treatment where they now suspected TB. Had to do a six month TB treatment.

The HIV specialist, one of India's top expert suggested dolutegravir and abacavir with ritnovir. But he warned me that most of his patients on abacavir exhibit jaundice like symptoms that never really go away.

I turned chicken and consulted another doc who said that if atripla has worked in the past it will work again. So I started it again in June 2017 with a very low cd4 of 47.

But last several weeks I'm losing weight again, and have the ghastly look. I think I need to go to a specialist and change meds.

Very long post, most of you may not even read it or care, but I thought as a new member I needed to tell my story before seekng opinion and advise.

Thanks for reading!!!

[Jim Allen]

Hi

Sorry to hear about the journey you have had.

The weight loss, some weight loss or gain can happen that said it should settle and i am not sure how much you have lost but i could be a symptoms of many things, even the body healing and adjusting to things like past dormant issues or underlying infections.

You really need to see a doctor on that one

Wishing you all the best and hope you feel better soon.

Jim

[Mendicant]

Thank you Jim for your kind words. It just stirs the depth of your soul to know that one single incident or indiscretion can turn your life upside down. I was never promiscuous in the US, would never go to gay bars, never smoked, or drank, or did drugs. While friends are living the hi-life, having unprotected sex very frequently, nothing happens to them ( and I wish them a full life of health).

Things that I can never understand. Intelligent human mind always needs to know why, karmic destiny or some sin committed unknowingly.

I have seen dozens of spiritual gurus, astrologers, shamans over the years and none have been able to provide answers.

I used to believe that science is one element in this world but now am beginning to believe that it is the only God that exists.

[Jim Allen]

To be honest, and this is just my perspective, it sounds like you have a lot of self guilt regarding your infection. "Sin" really.

My point of view its just a virus, nothing more noting less to it than that. Nobody cares how but at some stage during your life you simply had a viable exposure and the routes are know. Its not judgment or caused by one, so stop seeing it as a sin or karma.  Its a virus just like 1000's of others. Now HIV does not judge, discriminate or care about how you lived your life, some people do but HIV does not.

So don't beat yourself up about it, treat it, keep treating it this time to prevent yourself from getting this sick again, don't allow it to control you as you can have control over it. This is simply a choice for many of us.

now am beginning to believe that it is the only God that exists

.

Each to his own on that one.

Jim

[mecch]

Welcome to the forum. 

Interesting choice of pseudonym.

I hope you can manage to have close medical supervision in the following months and years.  I read your history and the impression I got is that you didn't manage to have regular visits to doctors and regular treatments ordered by doctors.  Sometimes that seems to be by bad luck and sometimes that seems to have been you choosing to opt out. My opinion is that since they figured out tri-therapy - what? - about 2 decades ago? - the first step to surviving with HIV is drug treatment and letting doctors do their job.  Yes. doctors can not heal the soul, spirit, or psychology, but doctors and DRUGS treat the virus.  There's been NO way around that. In the 2 decades since, it has been further proven, that pretty much everyone with HIV needs to be on HIV antivirals, effective ones.  Getting the effective ones means regular doctor oversight and testing.  Nobody gets drug holidays, etc., anymore. Nobody really waits after a diagnosis anymore. Its drugs. Drugs.  That's the way it is. Opt out, you damage your body.

My wish to you is that you always remember to treat your HIV, no more opting out, and if it seems something is off in the body - get doctors to try to find a fix.  Its really the basic thing for survival, as you know.

Its fine and dandy to concentrate on spirit and other things but the virus is only dealt with through the drugs.

[MitchMiller]

I've been taking abacavir for 15 years without a problem.  The primary issue I'm aware of is an allergic reaction that you need to look out for after you take your initial dose.  If it occurs, you can't take abacavir.  There is a test for it in the US.

I do see liver issues are listed as a side effect for triumeq:  https://us.triumeq.com/risks-and-side-effects-of-triumeq/?bing=p_&rotation=71700000009748366&banner=58700000465721716&kw=6779215497&gclid=CKDAz5im99cCFTOOxQIdsDINHg&gclsrc=ds