Heart broken Dad with poss Hiv

[Dave J]

Hi Im a British male and New to this forum!
I have spent a lot of time like others i suspect looking at this forum searching the internet for answers, I know i can't get the answers here but maybe support and sound advice...
My story is basically im a 30 year old male who has recently went to thailand on a back packing holiday I'm not a sex tourist in any way, I went with a friend for a month...but before we hit the islands we spent a few days in Bangkok!! which was a mistake...We met a group of guys similiar in age and we all went out to experience the nightlife, well on the second night After a lot of beer i went with a local "bar girl" everyone else was doin the same and i guess i was caught in peer pressure, I KNOW THIS IS WRONG....any way I woke up in the morning feeling very guilty but more so terrified is I'd discovered I'd not used any protection....totally stupid I know I was very drunk ...I didnt know about the HIV /Aids epidemic in thailand i discovered about that days after....

When I returned home from my trip I was tested straight away after 4 weeks and hadnt really had too many symptoms apart from Ring worm on my leg never had this before an thought it strange so I had the test and was extremely happy to see it tested negative.....However I am now nearing the 2 and a half month mark and I have had a number of Symptoms, 1st I started to get a bumpy rash around my body and was itchy this subsided and then came more serious symptoms of head ache's , swollen and sore glands on my neck which ive never had before and Now ive got strange sore throat which came from nowhere and seems to be lower down and hurts when swallow, Rash has got worse across my shoulders arms and chest also dark sore under my eye.......At first I was thinking it  was psychosamatic  but not now too many strange symptoms
I'm getting my blood test this week which i think will be conclusive as it will be near the 3 month mark .....I'm a weekend Dad and I feel so sorry for my daughter and my family cos now im going to have to put them all through this when im diagnosed , the illness , not knowing when im going to die and the social stigma , I feel for anyone who has this disease... and think i'm going to need a lot of new freinds cos I cant see people where I live accepting it . maybe I'll have to move away, I dont even now if I can tell my parents there in there 60's and it could have an effect on there health hearing news like this.......All this heartache for one stupid moment of madness!! i feel a fool and suicidal....

[Andy Velez]

You're totally jumping ahead of yourself in presuming that you are going to test positive. The fact is that in all likelihood you will test negative.

HIV is not an easy virus to transmit. It is significantly harder to accomplish from female to male than the other way round. You had a single exposure. You have have tested negative at 4 weeks, which is a good sign as the average time to seroconversion is 22 days.

None of your symptoms are in anyway HIV-specific. Actually rash associated with ARS is NOT itchy whereas the one you have had is itchy. Also the symptoms of ARS all come on at once and not here and there.

So overall despite your anxiety I would the odds are very good that at the end of the day you will test negative. You can test at 6 weeks. A negative at 6 weeks is very unlikely to change to positive when you do a final test at 13 weeks. Meanwhile you ought to be discussing your symptoms with your doctor.

Cheers.

[Dave J]

Cheers Andy I've read a lot of your advice on here and your a good man and I totally respect what you do to take your time out to help people... The symptoms i have all at the same time at the moment Andy which is sore throat ,headaches, swollen glands and Rashes as well as some pain in the liver area...
I've read that the chance of infection woman to man is about 2000-1 but one thing which wont have gone in my favour was there was a pink showing on the bed covers as if she was starting to menstruate. and we I'm pretty sure we had sex more than once...I'm going for blood tests on wednesday so not long too wait its just symptoms are getting worse maybe down to stress also. either way I'll let you know my results hopefully I'll be writing back good results and not bad.....I just feel so disapointed with myself and feel like ive let everyone down including myself....I dote on my daughter and family ... but if my suspicions are correct i maybe needing more advice on this site...

[Andy Velez]

Fortunately feelings are not facts. And the facts of your situation lead me to expect a negative test result.

Not so incidentally, ARS symptoms do not go on and on for extended periods of time. They come on together and last usually a week to  two and then they are gone. Your fears notwithstanding and throwing in that she may have been menstruating, I still don't see it as likely for you to get other than a negative result.

Cheers.

[Dave J]

Got another negative result today Andy , so I'm really happy over that and a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders looks like you were right I need to be more glass half full rather than empty, and be optomistic until I get the news....I've got this rash still coming up though its wierd comes up all blotchy on my arms and chest and get funny sensations off it like pins and needles then 30 mins later its gone ??, Maybe its caused by stress or blood pressure so going to see my local doctor to get to the bottom of it ...ive prob aged 10 years in the last 3 months lol....I'm going to follow up with another test after 6 months maybe just to be on the safe side as ive seen storys off some of your positive members on here who have tested negative twice then a month later been positive but i'm going to cease the worrying cos its doing me no good at all.... take care and cheers for writing to me ....

[RapidRod]

Six months testing is outdated and has been since 2004. You are conclusively negative.

[Andy Velez]

Testing out to 6 months for you is totally uncalled for. The only times when that is indicated is if organ transplant is involved or treatment for an illness like cancer or longterm intravenous drug use.

I have no reason to believe any of those apply to you. You need to stop with the unwarranted drama and  get with the reality that you have reliably tested negative for HIV. Period. End of story.

[Dave J]

happy days then and once again thanks!!  keep up the good work!

[Andy Velez]

You're welcome.

Cheers!