Anyone in my situation?

[mrbandmaster]

Hi Folks,

I'm brand new to this site and must say how excited I am to see so many words of encouragement and uplifting testimonies!

I just started dating an amazing guy who is HIV positive and is undetectable. He sees his doctor for regular checkups and takes his medications faithfully. I am HIV negative and have been routinely taking PrEP for the past four months. I'm a top that does not perform very well with condoms. My new guy and I have had unprotected sex on two occasions. From the research studies that I have read, it is almost impossible for a person with an undetectable viral load to pass along the virus. Furthermore, the fact that I'm a top and also on PrEP puts me at an even lower risk.

I'm just curious if there are others out there experiencing the same circumstances, particularly in long-term commitments? While our relationship is still very new, it has potential to be something incredible. Thanks in advance for your feedback!

[Jim Allen]

Plenty of us in long term mixed status relationships. 

I'm just curious if there are others out there experiencing the same circumstances

I'm just not sure what the ask is or what you mean with circumstances? If you mean the PrEP none of my long term partners ever took PrEP it would simply be unneeded. The short term ones well I would not care about it too much if I am frank, it would be up to them.

Jim

[mrbandmaster]

Hi Jim,

After reading my initial post, I noticed it was very vague, and thank you for your prompt reply.

As I mentioned, I started taking PrEP about four months ago and the reading I have done about the medication encourages consumers to still use condoms. My guy is undetectable and I struggle with condoms, so we haven't been using them. While the research says "I'm safe," the human being in me still questions "Am I really ok?" I was just seeking some success stories from others who have been in a long-term, serodiscordant relationships where they have not passed the virus along to their partner.

Thanks so much,

Vince

[Jim Allen]

Vince,

Well as said plenty of us are in long-term mix status relationships, even quite a few of us have also had children.

Point being the virus was not passed on.

There is nearly 21 years odd consistent and proven TaSP observational evidence and studies, although the news/media act as if its something new, it actually goes way back. Anyhow they all had 0 transmission between couples who opted to go comdomless when the HIV positive partner was virally suppressed and correctly consistently  :(adherent to their medication.

Being worried about something that has never happened is kinda illogical

PrEP about four months ago and the reading I have done about the medication encourages consumers to still use condoms.

Yeah, PrEP & Condoms, so I would tell you the same if your not in a monogamous relationship and to provide some protection against other easier to transmit STI's or if its a heterosexual relationship due to pregnancy.

However if you are in a monogamous relationship, no pregnancy worries, your partner is UD and adhered to his treatment than its an over the top layer of protection as he can't transmit HIV to you.

Up to you for peace of mind and what your comfortable with at the end of the day. There is no right or wrong. Just do be open about your feelings and concerns with your partner would be my advice

Jim