I got Triggered, now I am worrying about getting others infected.

[bluebomber]

Hello.
I am suffering from anxiety and I currently under medication. I tried the basics like deep breathing and meditating and i feel like talking to someone. I dont have access to therapy and most of my money is spent on medication.

I was able to control my anxiety well for weeks now.
But just this evening I used the bathroom and some else used it after me.

I am worried that the urine on the toilet even after flushing might come in contact with an open wound and infect others.
I know its silly, but talking about it helps. Im so lost.

[bluebomber]

What if my urine has semen in it? God no!

[Jim Allen]

look I am sorry to hear that you are going through this.

What if - Birds fly backwards?

This is irrational and I think you well understand that it is emotional/mental stress talking and not a real world transmission issue. Semen in urine is not an issue, the toilet seat is not within the environment of the human body, so any HIV is exposed  this next to other barriers. Its not a risk to anyone.

If you can't afford therapy have you tried seeking support perhaps from one of the local HIV organizations ? If not offering therapy prehaps they can at least help you connect with peers or if there is one near you a peer lead support meeting prehaps, so meeting other people living with HIV face to face?

Try to take it easy and I wish you well, and keep in mind (or try to) HIV is never transmitted the way you are fearing.

Jim

P.S

https://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=68269.0

I just read back your past posts, so just wondering if you have managed to get out more since your last updates? I know you posted that on its own with the OCD & Depression has been challenging.

Also how is your HIV treatment going, what was your results like so far? Its been slightly more than a year right?

[bluebomber]

I feel a lot better now compared to last month.
I did go out a lot and manage to build of the courage to stop doing my compulsion like using hand sanitizers a lot. I just experienced a minor relapse since its the holidays and I didnt want to tell the people around me about it. I didnt want to be a party pooper. But i told myself its impossible and said ill sleep on it. Today I woke up not worried anymore. Thank you for being supportive. I am very optimistic now and happy I managed to be happy this holidays.

[Jim Allen]

I did go out a lot and manage to build of the courage to stop doing my compulsion like using hand sanitizers a lot. I just experienced a minor relapse since its the holidays

Well glad to hear that you were able to make it out without the hand washing.

I'm no therapist can't really help, I did however grow up with people who have OCD and from what i recall any progress is a hard and often is a step forward, and than a small step back. To me at least it sounds like you made huge progress on your own and that is fantastic, I know it might seems a small thing but i'm guessing its huge step in your own world.

I hope you can continue to build on the progress.

I didnt want to tell the people around me about it. I didnt want to be a party pooper.

Try not to see yourself as a party pooper i am sure good friends would be happy to see you trying and doing well and would be supportive.

Take it easy and remember Rome was not built in a day and I suspect building Rome  is even relatively easy when compared to working to with OCD etc

Did you have a chance to looking into any local HIV organizations BTW? 

Jim

[Jim Allen]

How are you getting on?

Jim