I think I have contracted hiv

[victoria250]

I did a very stupid thing and had unprotected sex with someone I met in a bar...I was so drunk I do not even remember his name.  I am a female 37 years old.  I feel so ashamed because I have a wonderful boyfriend....I had no plans to do this, it was a total blurr and I don't remember any of it, I only remember waking up at my girlfriends house on her couch and her telling me what happened.  Great friend right???  Thanks for stopping that from happening and looking out for your incoherent friend.  I suppose it is neither here nor there now. I just wanted to forget about the whole thing....but then five days later, from Fri night to Thurs night i came down with an acute glandular fever of 101, with throat pain that woke me up in the middle of the night.  My glands were visibly swollen.  This lasted Fri, Sat, and went away Sunday.  I went to work Monday feeling a little off, but no fever.  It is the next Sat now...my throat does not hurt but one of my tonsils still looks inlarged in the back of my throat.  I have loose stools, but I don't know it that is from the HIGH amount of stress I feel right now.  To top it all off I also had a vaginal yeast infection last week.  I am also having burning, tingling, on my palms. I am just about to loose my mind at this point....My boyfriend and I had sex the Sunday and Monday after the incident, I know that was reckless, I honestly never even thought of hiv until the symptoms started ...I am horrified now that I might have exposed him.  We do not live together so since my symptoms have started I have made all the excuses not to come over.  I don't know how I could live with myself if he gets infected.  I am going to test on March 1st...The hot line I called has a test that is supposed to be accurate after 29 day.  I still have two long grueling weeks to wait.  This truly must be what hell is like.   I had so much to look forward to two weeks ago, and now I feel I am drowning in doubt and shame.  My whole world has turned upside down from one stupid mistake.....I just had to talk to someone.  Thanks for listening.

[Ann]

victoria,

The earliest you should test is six weeks. People who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test postiive by six weeks, with the average time to seroconversion being only 22 days. A six week negative MUST be confirmed at the three month point, but is unlikely to change. I don't know what hotline you rang, but they're wrong - the window period for a conclusive negative result is three months.

Symptoms or even the lack of symptoms mean nothing when it comes to hiv. Many people have absolutely NO symptoms yet test positive. Would you be worried if you had no symptoms? That doesn't change the fact that you had a risk and need to test.

Unless you've tested together with your boyfriend and are securely monogamous, you have already been putting yourself at risk. Many people do not accurately know their hiv status because they never bother to test. If you and your boyfriend have not tested together, then you need to do that before you stop using condoms.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Good luck with your testing.

Ann

[victoria250]

Ann...

I just called the hot line again and the test is called a DNA test.  They stated that results could be verified in 28days.  I realize the wait time is 6 weeks and the 3 months.  I will make sure I test at these times.

Everything you said is right.  My boyfriend and I have been dating for five years now and I felt we were true to each other at this point, other than my behavior two weeks ago.  I have to say, this whole ordeal has opened my eyes to the importance of condom use and taking responsibility for your health and well being. 
I am so scared right now....I hope I am not realizing this all too late.

Thank you for your reply...

[Ann]

Victoria,

DNA testing is NOT approved for diagnostic purposes because it has a high rate of FALSE POSITIVE results. You don't want that! Even if the DNA test comes back negative, you STILL have to wait until three months for a conclusive negative result. Sorry, but there are NO short cuts when it comes to hiv testing, no matter what some lab (who wants your money for the expensive DNA test) might tell you to the contrary.

You need to test with an antibody test. Further testing information is linked to in our Welcome Thread.

Just because you and your bf have been together for five years doesn't mean he's hiv negative - unless he's been tested and has been monogamous. Testing is the ONLY way to be sure you OR your partner is hiv negative.

Good luck with the testing.

Ann