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Main Forums => Living With HIV => Topic started by: Queen Tokelove on October 31, 2007, 04:54:51 pm

Title: Back from the Doctor.....Feeling tricked despite being treated.....
Post by: Queen Tokelove on October 31, 2007, 04:54:51 pm: I had my appointment with my ID doc today. It started out being a shocker cause I ran into 2 people I knew, in the same building just in different places, well one of them anyway. The other person I saw when I got done seeing my ID doctor which I was not prepared for at all. The expression on his face looked like one of shock as well. This person never knew my status so I guess after today the preverbial cat is out of the bag. We have a mutual friend in common, my best friend who I haven't disclosed to yet. Since he has seen me, now I am wondering if he will say something to her. I will be waiting for my phone to ring later on....

The appointment started out disappointing to me because I knew that my viral load wouldn't be back yet since I had just got the blood drawn on Monday. Not late because of me but late because it took the clinic nurse forever to send me the order. So when the nurse came in, I asked her about my cd4, she looks and they hadn't even gotten that back, she had to call the lab. She seemed to be cheery with the news...Your cd4 is 265, so that's good... It crawled up from 215 since August. For me, it was disappointment because I was expecting it to be better, though my percentage went up from 14 to 19. I guess she read the disappointment on my face because she said that it was good considering I just started meds on 9/13 and we still haven't gotten your viral load back but that should be good too. I guess I will give them a call on Friday to see if the viral load is back. Oh and I don't have syphillis or chlymidia, no surprise there since I haven't been active anyway.
I got my flu shot and that was pretty much it for the appointment. Still on dapsone til my cd4 gets past the 400 mark......
Title: Re: Back from the Doctor.....Feeling tricked despite being treated.....
Post by: MOONLIGHT1114 on October 31, 2007, 05:03:44 pm: Hi GF~

I just got back from seeing my diabetic doctor, and got my flu shot, too. He thinks I have allergies and not a cold since its been going on for so long.

The jump in your percentage and CD4 in just 5 or 6 weeks on meds is great! If you are stressing about not having your VL, then I would call the doc on Friday and see if they can give you the results then.

If your friend looked shocked to see you in the same office, then he is prob wondering if you will let the cat out of the bag as well, don't you think? For me, with other pos people, we have always been very respectful about being discreet if we run into each other in public. I have never seen anyone I know at the doc's office, I guess initially I would be nervous, too, but maybe you'll find a confidant in all of this. Maybe you could call and ask how he's doing? Do you have his number?

Don't stress about your numbers, its early yet in your treatment on meds.

~ Cindy
Title: Re: Back from the Doctor.....Feeling tricked despite being treated.....
Post by: Queen Tokelove on October 31, 2007, 05:23:11 pm: Actually the person I saw in clinic is pretty open about his status. I know he told our mutual friend but he hasn't really discussed anything with me. I guess I just set my expectations too high with the other things....
Title: Re: Back from the Doctor.....Feeling tricked despite being treated.....
Post by: anniebc on October 31, 2007, 05:35:11 pm: Quote
Actually the person I saw in clinic is pretty open about his status. I know he told our mutual friend but he hasn't really discussed anything with me. I guess I just set my expectations too high with the other things....

Hi Queenie

If he is HIV+ and open about his status then maybe you could seek him out and have a chat with him..I'm sure there was a time he didn't want to or had problems disclosing to family and friends, so (hopfully) he will understand where you are with your disclosure and keep things to himself..who knows, .he may also want to help and be apart of your support system.

BTW those % are looking good, let us know when you get your other results.

Hugs
Jan :-*
Title: Re: Back from the Doctor.....Feeling tricked despite being treated.....
Post by: Dachshund on October 31, 2007, 05:37:39 pm: The first time you bump into someone is always a bit of a jolt. They were probably more worried about you seeing them than vice versa. Next time you see him you can say, "I thought you knew I was a doctor." ;D

Don't let that numbers game get in your head. It took me over three years to get above 200, though I must admit I was pretty stoked when it happened. You cool.
Title: Re: Back from the Doctor.....Feeling tricked despite being treated.....
Post by: Miss Philicia on October 31, 2007, 05:41:32 pm: Queen, do you have that guy's phone number? Why not just call him and clearly state that you've not disclosed to the mutual friend yet and kindly request that he keep his mouth shut? Obviously he's positive too so I can't imagine him not complying, but who knows. Anyway, if tells the mutual friend then that would mean the mutual friend knows about him too, so I'd assume this mutual friend would not give you grief either, or am I missing something?

As far as the cd4 count, in my experience HIV meds do not necessarily bump this up -- it's merely a side effect if you will, of having a greatly lower amount of viremia which will be reflected in your VL test. You will need to have a suppressed VL for an extended period, possibly, to begin to see greater cd4 increases. I'm sure you've noticed this in other threads on the subject and/or in the lab numbers that others have posted in their signature lines. Of course, there is a bit of variability in this. I'd advise focusing on the VL for now.
Title: Re: Back from the Doctor.....Feeling tricked despite being treated.....
Post by: bear60 on October 31, 2007, 06:05:52 pm: Hey Queen
Hang in there. Improvement is still...... improvement.
Title: Re: Back from the Doctor.....Feeling tricked despite being treated.....
Post by: Ann on October 31, 2007, 06:45:20 pm: Hey Queen, that jump in % is really good to see! A nice phat one, so to speak. ;D

Ann
Title: Re: Back from the Doctor.....Feeling tricked despite being treated.....
Post by: BirdBear718 on October 31, 2007, 06:53:38 pm: Best wishes with the improvement!

Also, I agree in telling "mutual friend" that you are not ready to disclose to anyone. You are "not there yet."
People seem to empathize with that type reasoning -- "not ready" "not there yet".
That way if he should give you reasons why you should, just repeat "I am just not there yet."

Ending on a happy note -- again, best wishes on your improvement!
Title: Re: Back from the Doctor.....Feeling tricked despite being treated.....
Post by: Queen Tokelove on October 31, 2007, 07:52:49 pm: Thanks all of you for your support. Ann, I noticed the jump in percentage too but was just surprised that my cd4 wasn't better. Cindy did have a valid point of I haven't really been on meds that long either. Philly, I am anxious to see what my viral load will reveal because 2 months ago it was 16,590 so I am hoping that it got knocked down a peg or two.

No, I don't have his phone number and it is rare that I see him at all. The last place I did see him was at the mutual friend's house. My bf, the mutual friend is cool with his status but my godson made a rude joke one day about having aids that didn't sit well with me. That is one reason for me not telling her cause when she finds out she will prolly start bawling and if her son sees that, he is gonna wanna know what's wrong, etc. But maybe seeing this person was kinda like karma's way of saying do it before he does. I think if anything she will be pissed that I didn't tell her before now. I hate all this assuming. I still haven't gotten a phone call from her so maybe he didn't say anything after all.
Title: Re: Back from the Doctor.....Feeling tricked despite being treated.....
Post by: Miss Philicia on October 31, 2007, 07:57:41 pm: Smoke some pot and you'll forget all your cares :)
Title: Re: Back from the Doctor.....Feeling tricked despite being treated.....
Post by: woodshere on October 31, 2007, 08:09:11 pm: So in a matter of a few weeks your CD4 count increased by 50 and your % by 5. I would have loved to have had that after the first three months of meds. For me during that time I barely moved. I think you need to celebrate (in whatever way brings you the most pleasure.... :) According to my ID doc the key is viral load. The closer it gets to undetectable the better and a sign your meds are working.

Good luck,
Woods
Title: Re: Back from the Doctor.....Feeling tricked despite being treated.....
Post by: Jody on October 31, 2007, 08:40:05 pm: Hi Queen, as has been said your pct increase is very good and that means alot...My CD4 have never been great, but my VL is consistently undectable and that has kept me healthy for 12 years running now since being on meds.

Don't fret over the chance meeting - these things happen in life and folks are going to say and do whatever they will anyhow. We are who and what we are and you should hold your head up and keep smiling.

Jody :)
Title: Re: Back from the Doctor.....Feeling tricked despite being treated.....
Post by: jack on November 01, 2007, 07:34:11 am: sounds fantastic for only being on drugs a month. I still have never had a Dr. mention the percentage thing.
Title: Re: Back from the Doctor.....Feeling tricked despite being treated.....
Post by: woodshere on November 01, 2007, 08:36:31 am: Oh and as far as bumping into someone you knew at the dr's office. I have bumped into people I knew at far worse places than the dr;s office (if you know what I mean)

As Jody said these things happen. He is probably experiencing some of the same feelings you are.
Title: Re: Back from the Doctor.....Feeling tricked despite being treated.....
Post by: Iggy on November 01, 2007, 09:27:05 am: Quote from: woodshere on November 01, 2007, 08:36:31 am
Oh and as far as bumping into someone you knew at the dr's office. I have bumped into people I knew at far worse places than the dr;s office (if you know what I mean)

As Jody said these things happen. He is probably experiencing some of the same feelings you are.

Tell me about it ::)

Queen - You already have been given good advice that your numbers are moving in the right direction though I understand wanting something more dramatic. Just remember this is a process and a long journey.

As for running into another and the cat being out of the bag, the thing to remember is that you deserve some credit here for beginning your journey of being out about your status already as you talked about it another thread. I'm glad you did that then as this incident became just a surprise vs. something to make you get overly worried.
Title: Re: Back from the Doctor.....Feeling tricked despite being treated.....
Post by: StrongGuy on November 01, 2007, 12:19:01 pm: Queen my numbers creeped up too (plus I had the slow plan when it came to achieving a steady undetectable and made a med switch because of that) and I definitely was hoping for a more of a surge right after starting meds. Some get bigger jumps (my bf went up 200 CD4s after two months and I was jealous) and others like us take baby steps. You're going in the right direction as others have said and I'd bet they keep getting better and better.

:)
Title: Re: Back from the Doctor.....Feeling tricked despite being treated.....
Post by: Queen Tokelove on November 01, 2007, 02:21:26 pm: Of course, you guys are right, I should be glad that my numbers are jumping in the right direction. But here's the kicker for today. I called to refill all my meds, diabetic ones included since it is check day. The pharmacy called me back and now says that my Atripla is not covered...WTF? I just got it refilled on the 8th of October and it wasn't a problem. But x amount of days and now it is not covered?!!!! This is mind blowing to me, I called the clinic nurse, Leah who is going to put a call in to the pharmacy. I don't want to be taken off of Atripla to some pill I may have to take 3 times a day or whatever. Is there another once a day pill in the same class as Atripla? Or will it come down to taking Sustiva and Truvada once a day? I guess that is what I get for complaining. I am still waiting to hear back about my viral load too..... :-\
Title: Re: Back from the Doctor.....Feeling tricked despite being treated.....
Post by: Miss Philicia on November 01, 2007, 02:34:45 pm: Queen, I will assume you are like me and since we live in the same state that you are on the SPBP program (for others reading this is just what they call ADAP here in Pennsylvania). As far as I know, the most one can obtain a refill on this program in advance is 5 calendar days, so if your last Atripla was on 10/8 you can't get the refill until 11/3 at the earliest. Since 11/3 is on a Saturday if your pharmacy is closed you'll be waiting until 11/5 really this month.

At least this is how I understand it to work here.

As for Atripla itself, please clear this up for me. Are you stating that Atripla was filled for you with no issue by SPBP on 10/8?
Title: Re: Back from the Doctor.....Feeling tricked despite being treated.....
Post by: ubotts on November 01, 2007, 03:12:03 pm: HI..
Great news for your tcell count..

I had the same situation as you...bumping into people who you know..(sigh) don't like
it, but Iam sure they feel the same way..

oops busted.. :'(

I just went up to them and said, How are you feeling, and whats your tcell count.
Just to break the ice, ya know..

I met another friend of mine there as well..So we both looked at each other, and we
both shrugged our shoulders.. :-[

Then we finally talked.. Guess we both had to make a move and discuss whats what..

Now.....I go to a different clinic where everyone sits in the same waiting room..

Then they just call your name out when the doctors ready to see you..

NO one knows why your there because children and mothers and everyone else waits in the same waiting room. :)
What a relief this is for me...

The other clinic was called the A TEAM..Which everyone knows why your there..geesh..
To place a rather large A-TEAM as you walk in the door. >:(
I never did like that...Plus I believe its against the hippa law..

Don't you agree?? ???

Glad your tcells went up a bit..Don't get caught up in the numbers..If you feel good
go with it.. Soon they will have your other results, but I know what it feels like to
have your blood drawn then visit the doctor 2 weeks later to find out how your doing,
and they said to me ..we cant find your blood results..They were never sent to my
new doctor..So I was very upset, I had to have my blood drawn all over again..shit.

Then I was told I went to the wrong place to have my blood drawn..and I got sent
a bill for 1,206.89..omg..wtf..

I called up the doctors, and they managed to fix the problem..
Now I don't go back till Jan 8th...I want to get off kaletra due to the weight I have put on..so ill see how that goes..

Boy was I bummed out when they lost my bloodwork.or rather it never even got to
my doctors office..so my bloodwork was lost in space, only to have it done all over again.

My tcells went down some. I was at 249 now I am 236..V.L. is still undetectable but my
blood pressure went up..and my liver count was super hi..

Omg..enough about me..Its about you my queen.. :) Let us know when you get your
other numbers in ok..luv n concern Ubotts..
..
Title: Re: Back from the Doctor.....Feeling tricked despite being treated.....
Post by: Longislander on November 01, 2007, 06:29:22 pm: Hi Queen! I'm happy to see your #'s are improving, can't wait to see the VL ( just as you can't ;) ).
You've gotten some great advice as to the run-in so I have nothing to add there~

Be well!

Paul
Title: Re: Back from the Doctor.....Feeling tricked despite being treated.....
Post by: Queen Tokelove on November 01, 2007, 07:42:07 pm: When I went to the pharmacy, the pharmacist was trying to give me the 3 separate pills. After leaving from getting my depo shot, say about 45 minutes later, I get a call from Nurse Leah. The problem seems to be that I have a cut off point of how much they will pay for Atripla, I guess it was 993 dollars. I have Medicare and the PA Access card. So what she said was that they would have to do another script for the Atripla since I only have about a weeks worth left and after that I will have to go every 3 weeks to get it refilled. I am not sure if that answers your question, Philly but that was how it was explained to me. Maybe you can lead me in the right direction of what program it may be.....I have to call Nurse Leah back on Monday for my viral load because the lab still hadn't gotten the results...Will keep you posted....
Title: Re: Back from the Doctor.....Feeling tricked despite being treated.....
Post by: Miss Philicia on November 01, 2007, 07:46:00 pm: I'll PM you
Title: Re: Back from the Doctor.....Feeling tricked despite being treated.....
Post by: Queen Tokelove on November 01, 2007, 09:09:40 pm: Well, I have started my weekend early. I'll worry about my viral load on Monday. It's Corona time along with some good green.......Cheers......
Title: Re: Back from the Doctor.....Feeling tricked despite being treated.....
Post by: BT65 on November 01, 2007, 09:55:16 pm: Queen, at least you got the problem straightened out with your meds. Don't let the #s worry you. I know you probably aren't worried right about now...... ::)
Title: Re: Back from the Doctor.....Feeling tricked despite being treated.....
Post by: Queen Tokelove on November 01, 2007, 10:29:42 pm: I should never run out that's for sure. I was given another option by Philly so I will be getting in contact with my ASO case manager. Girl, I am floating right about now and I am still on my first Corona.... :D I really don't drink often due to the diabetes and I don't like the feeling of being drunk, just a good buzz. I may go for another one before I go to bed.... ;) Now ask me how many spliffs I smoked..... ;)
Title: Re: Back from the Doctor.....Feeling tricked despite being treated.....
Post by: AlanBama on November 02, 2007, 11:10:15 am: hang in there honey, your numbers are heading in the right direction! That % increase is great.

hugs,

Alan
Title: Re: Back from the Doctor.....Feeling tricked despite being treated.....
Post by: Queen Tokelove on November 05, 2007, 12:52:30 pm: And I am still waiting on the viral load. I called Nurse Leah but she was off today, funny when she was the one who told me to call back today...But I understand that shit happens and maybe she just wasn't feeling well or whatever. But there was no one else to get the information for me......*Sighs*..

Modified to add: Just called ASO to find out if anyone else could find out for me and Leah got called in but is in a meeting. I left a vm for her, maybe I will hear back before the end of the day. Will keep you posted...
Title: Re: Back from the Doctor.....Feeling tricked despite being treated.....
Post by: Queen Tokelove on November 06, 2007, 01:35:47 pm: Just an update, I got a call from Nurse Leah this morning about my viral load. I am UNDETECTABLE!!!!!! Wooo fucking Hooooooooooo. I wasn't expecting that but am hyped for just being on Atripla and Ziagen for a little over a month........ ;D
Title: Re: Back from the Doctor.....Feeling tricked despite being treated.....
Post by: Dachshund on November 06, 2007, 01:44:11 pm: Quote from: Queen Akasha on November 06, 2007, 01:35:47 pm
Just an update, I got a call from Nurse Leah this morning about my viral load. I am UNDETECTABLE!!!!!! Wooo fucking Hooooooooooo. I wasn't expecting that but am hyped for just being on Atripla and Ziagen for a little over a month........ ;D

Just terrific news Queen, just terrific!

Aunty D
Title: Re: Back from the Doctor.....Feeling tricked despite being treated.....
Post by: Miss Philicia on November 06, 2007, 04:29:14 pm: Great Queen. You're meds are working fast aren't they? This must really put your mind at ease.
Title: Re: Back from the Doctor.....Feeling tricked despite being treated.....
Post by: MOONLIGHT1114 on November 06, 2007, 04:31:44 pm: Told ya, GF. The meds have been magic for me, glad they are working for you, too!

QUEEN IS UNDETECTABLE! :D QUEEN IS UNDETECTABLE!

:D Yippeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

~ Cindy
Title: Re: Back from the Doctor.....Feeling tricked despite being treated.....
Post by: BirdBear718 on November 06, 2007, 04:53:08 pm: Hooooray! Hoooooray! Hooooooooooorayyyyyyy!
Title: Re: Back from the Doctor.....Feeling tricked despite being treated.....
Post by: Queen Tokelove on November 06, 2007, 05:54:22 pm: Quote from: philly267 on November 06, 2007, 04:29:14 pm
Great Queen. You're meds are working fast aren't they? This must really put your mind at ease.

Indeed, they are. I wasn't expecting to be undetectable this soon. After speaking with Nurse Leah about my results, she said she wouldn't be surprised if my cd4 was up in the 500's in 4 to 6 months.
Title: Re: Back from the Doctor.....Feeling tricked despite being treated.....
Post by: Alain on November 06, 2007, 06:05:18 pm: Great news, good for you queen! :-*
Title: Re: Back from the Doctor.....Feeling tricked despite being treated.....
Post by: Miss Philicia on November 06, 2007, 06:21:54 pm: Quote from: Queen Akasha on November 06, 2007, 05:54:22 pm
Indeed, they are. I wasn't expecting to be undetectable this soon. After speaking with Nurse Leah about my results, she said she wouldn't be surprised if my cd4 was up in the 500's in 4 to 6 months.

It's that ganja which lowers your stress levels! :) and helps your immune system reconstitute at a fast rate!
Title: Re: Back from the Doctor.....Feeling tricked despite being treated.....
Post by: StrongGuy on November 06, 2007, 07:54:20 pm: Great news Queen!

Very happy for you!
Title: Re: Back from the Doctor.....Feeling tricked despite being treated.....
Post by: Queen Tokelove on November 06, 2007, 08:24:16 pm: Thanks Guys for your support. Philly, The good green sure can't hurt... ;)
Title: Re: Back from the Doctor.....Feeling tricked despite being treated.....
Post by: Longislander on November 07, 2007, 12:55:58 am: that's AWESOME!! ;D ;D ;D