a happy ending?

[CalvinC]

Hi all.

This is a follow up to the story of my recent coming-out-poz to the guy was dating, in detail here: https://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=77844.msg788496#msg788496

Much against my better judgement, I continued to date him, as I thought that he was not available, or only as available as he wanted to be on any given day. I don't think that he was consciously breadcrumbing me but the effect was the same, I felt. That aside, he moved past any reservations he may have had about my hiv status, and we rarely talked about it again.

On Sat night I decided to call it quits, and we had a long talk. Much to my surprise, he got very vulnerable, in tandem with me doing same, and we cleared up a good deal of what's been going on. Later on, we both used the L word. I'm still a bit stunned.

And wary. Intimacy is a tough nut, especially for me. The moment the word "love" moved through the air, I thought "Oh my god, what am I doing? Do I really want this?" And of course I do. I'd say that we all want intimacy. During our talk, when he told me about his being emotionally distant, I shared much the same, telling him a few stories about my youth when I learned that my extended social circle thought of me as an "ice queen," that I wasn't happy with that kind of gossip but that I knew it was true. The upshot of it all is that we're now a couple.

Anyway, glad to be able to share this here. One thing I also did last week was to stop seeing my therapist. I'd decided that seeing him was more of a crutch, in not dealing concretely with my issues (primarily with my dating). I thought that as long as I could talk about it with my therapist, that was enough.

Brave new world. . . .

[numbersguy82]

Wow so happy to hear that you’re on better terms and being more vulnerable. I know that can’t have been easy, but hopefully will bear more fruit moving forward.

As for the therapist, are you completely done, or might I suggest just further apart sessions. It’s so hard to get in with a therapist nowadays that I shudder to even consider closing the relationship off completely.

Best of luck and keep us posted!

- Alan

[Tonny2]

                ojo.               Hello there!, I’m glad that you’re finally understood each other. I’m happy for you… Hogs.

[leatherman]

mmmmm, the L word. <3
congrats and best wishes for a long and healthy relationship. The communication you two have honestly shared is a very good method towards that kind of relationship.