POZ Community Forums
Meds, Mind, Body & Benefits => Mental Health & HIV => Topic started by: cokaine on June 18, 2007, 04:36:27 pm
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Since i been diagnosed I feel like a different person. As if I am carrying a 50lbs load of bricks on my should everyday and when I take the time to meditate, pray or attempt to forget that I am positive, I feel a great relief but a few hours later i literally feel back pains. I think it has to do with tension and stress. Anyone feel the same way?
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Hey Cokaine:
Sorry to hear u r having a rough time with your situation. There's really no easier way than to rough it out till u get adjusted to your condition. It's coming to almost 2 years since my diagnosis and there does not go a day without something "happening" healthwise to challenge my stability, or what I try to stabilise on. It helps alot if u have someone or find a support group to share some of your anxieties.
U need to focus on staying even keeled from hereon, especially when it comes to lifestyle and food and diet changes. You need to notice subtle changes in your health and analyze. Many a times, it may seem mental, but many a times, the physical is more real. Both are related. Helpful to find one thing that keeps you going and focus. It's alot easier said than done but you really need to sit down with yourself and breakdown what matters and what does not. Time to separate actions, situations and make relevant decisions to keep going. I cannot stress enuff on finding someone or a support group to destress.
It's very easy to give up. Keep praying, meditating and exercising. Get out more often. Meet friends, go shopping. Get the big outdoors into your system. Give yourself a fighting chance. It's not over till it's over, and that may never happen with advances in medicine these days. You owe it to yourself and to those who genuinely loves u to keep fighting! Good luck!
Stay and Be Well.
Blessed Be!
Michael
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Cok, I agree with Merlin that getting out and being amongst people is good. But there is more to it than that because when you're feeling down and depressed simply being among people can sometimes highlight and deepen a sense of aloneness.
What I have seen make a difference is finding ways to express yourself by becoming involved in something that interests or engages you. It can include but is not excluded to something like excercise, which is a great way to discharge the energy that can sometimes build up internally and work against us.
Give some thought to what you're interested in, even if it's something that your self-critical mind says is ridiculous. See where your thoughts lead you.
And keep talking here and wherever is appropriate in your life. That kind of willingness to speak up and to reach out is positive in the best sense.
Hope you're having a good day today.
Cheers,
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hey cok, how's it going there? i'm in the same position you are in. it's been just over a year since i was diagnosed and i've never felit so down and tired in my life. i'm constantly depressed, always tired, can't concentrate, and lately i've been gaining weight, 20 lbs in the last few months. i feer that i'm dropping deeper into depression and the weight gain doesn't help me any in that respect. so, you're not alone. seems to be fairly common. problem now is figuring out what to do about it. if you have any suggestions, please let me know too!!
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I have felt that way on and off for the last two years, since I was diagnosed and started taking meds. That has also been almost two years. I understand the weight you talk about. The last couple of weeks have just been hell. There are moments of peace and I treasure those moments, I just need more of them.
I know this will pass but I need to have some fun and laugh and be happy. I know this can be done but it seems like such a struggle and that is not right. I am so glad for this forum because sometimes just putting it out to the universe takes a load of your back and give it away. Let it go and up and off your back. I have been doing walking meditation for two reasons, one for exercise and the other to find a peaceful place in my head.
My numbers and health are good it is just between my ears, aka in my head, that these feelings are coming from. Movement to get out and quietly look around and see people and with each step I visualize leaving some of this weight from depression behind me on the side walk. Some times it works. I feel better already.
Take care and put yourself in action of some kind it sounds dumb but actually works. feel better and keep your chin up.
Jeff
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This might help,
http://www.plwha.org.au/PLWHA/attachments/FS2_Energy_Final.pdf
take care
xx
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As Tempeboy's link points out, fatigue can have many causes, not the least being that our bodies are now constantly dealing with an invader.
My numbers and health are good it is just between my ears, aka in my head, that these feelings are coming from.
That is spot-on, Jeff. All feelings begin with a thought. Change how you’re thinking and you can influence what you feel. It's not always easy to take charge of thoughts, but it can be done.
Daniel