POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => Living With HIV => Topic started by: alive2 on August 31, 2006, 12:58:15 pm
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i was diagnosed on may 25,2004,since then i have been through some really big trials,and have has some tribulations,but not without the help of some great people,(namely eric,fran,bear and many others)in the time since all this has been happening to me i have sufferd through my wife feeling i have cheated oon her,as i used to be a bartender and bouncer,but only part time.im a construction worker by trade,but figured i was making enough working bars to get my liquids free and my paycheck would go to my bills,as i feel family comes first.i have never shot up drugs,im not gay(and im not saying theres anything wrong about it either).while i was growing up i had my share of tail,women used to be around me alot and im not shy,not even the ones who are older than me can scare me,im confident in who i am although it took some time and understanding from my wife,as i almost spilt up after 14 years of marrage.
i have gotten tattooes from a cousin years ago,and they were done with a homemade gun,and i feel this is how i contracted this disease,as the equipment he used wasnt properly cleaned,i didnt know the real dangers of what it could do,now im smarter by failure to do the right thing,it was and still is a tough lesson i learned,i have 4 children with my wife and they are all negitive,thats the reason she beleives i cheated and the fact shes seen young ladies ask me to take me home with them,as tempting as it was to have some younger tail i refused all the time,thats the gods honest truth.since all them storms have passed,we have taken in 3 of my sisters children to keep them out of foster care as we have all heard horror stories im sure.she is a drug addict,and pro street walker.they had some issues but have since settled down,and become good kids,in school they are doing better than they ever did,which makes me happy i can help make a difference to their lives.
i havent been able to work since februrary 2004,because of all the problems ive hade with the meds i have been on,i have gone through 5 docs now,and 3 different drug regimines,my numbers ar cd4 575 vl undetectable and 23%, so i guess im doing better than some.i have back ,knee andfeet problems.but hope they are going to get better,i need to get back in the air i miss working in the construction industry,high in the air,out of town trips,and the good money,im native american,and not affraid of hights,because its economics,the higher you go the more you make,the highest ive been without marijuanna is 190 feet(19 stories)and theres no better feeling than really being higher than some birds,freedom up there and the adrenalin is cool to,i guess you would call me a junkie for it.
i have hep c also another reason i beleive it was the tats,because of the small posibility of hep transfer in sexual intercorse.my wife is 10 years younger than me,and i know shes been faithfull(thats my perception anyway)because i trust her with my life.shes worked very hard to keep things going,but even so we had to file bankruptcy as a result of the fact i couldnt work,i miss bringing home a grand for 4 days work,but thats not to say i wont do it again i hope.im suffering neouropathy,knee needs surgery if needles with steroids dont help it,my back is bad because of the work ive done.i have suffered bouts with depression,which the meds are doing a fantastic job on.so much so im hoping to get to go back to work in the spring time,i just had a hearing on ssi,as i didnt have enough time on the books befroe i got sick to qualify for ssdi,hearing was just yesterday,the day befor i had liver biopsy to check scarring,and through all of this im graetful to have the oppertunity to meet other people whom are in the same boat as myself.now if you dont count all the things wrong with me,im very healthy :),thanks for allowing me to let you all in on my lifes story,it feels good to not be judged in here,and find others who have the same problems as myself and mabey together we can pull each other through this together untill a cure comes along,god bless you all,take care
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Hi alive2!
Welcome! Wow you have 7 kids in the house...that would make anyone tired! :) Thanks for sharing your story. I am sure you will find a lot of love and support here.
Christine
I forgot to add...I'm afraid of heights, so 190 feet..I would pass out, which could be a huge problem at 190 feet! :)
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Hello Alive,
I just want to say thanks so much for sharing your story with all of us!
I'm sure that you'll find so much caring and understanding here.
We're here to support you through any trials & tribulations you wish to share.
This is a very kind, caring, considerate group of people.
I look forward to hearing more from you! ;D
Peace,
Kelly
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Good to hear from you and about your journey, Alive. I'm sorry you had circumstances which made it necessary for you to take those kids in, but I'm also glad that you and your wife were generous enough to be willing to do it.
Despite the various problems you're dealing with physically, those are very encouraging numbers. You sound like a determined guy and if you stay focused I think you'll eventually be back getting your 19 story high.
You are always welcome here to ask questions and to discuss anything that's on your mind.
Cheers,
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I am SURE, you will be in a 38 story high pretty soon. Wow, You are a fighter...!!!!!!!!
What a big heart , taking those kids with you...
ALEX
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Alive, swing by my home someday and we will hit Capital for a day... Its not 19 storeis... 14,000ft, lets see how you do on that sweety (put me on an outcroping and I am happy).. Maybe I would get one of those hetrosexual hugs from you after you get back down... lol.... Its good to here your whole story and I am glad you are here... We have seen alot this year.. I plan on seeing you for alot more of these years!! If you need a babysiter, William loves that stuff..
Love Always,
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well william i forgot i have 2 cats,2 dogs,2 goldfish,and as for the 14000 ft,not a problem its a rush,i did some static line jumps in florida,back in 92,although it was only 10000ft,what an extra 4000,just as long as the chute opens :D. as for the heterosexual hug,thats not how i would interprit it,i would see it as a thanks for a person whos helped me through some living hell,,but it may cost you money, ;),so william you have your hands full if you want to take over here,and thanks eric,i plan on (pardon the pun)being a pain in the ass for everyone while im alive,this way i wont be forgotten,and its your fault 8)
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You are quite a guy Alive...good to see you here.
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Thanks for sharin'. You sound like one busy dude. Kudos for thinking with yer correct head!
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Wow what a story...and what a man. Thanks for sharing your story with us. I had a liver biopsy years ago. When the needle went in, I almost went though the ceiling LoL. Did your "tickle" as much as mine?
Welcome to a special place. Happy to have you around!
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You are quite a guy Alive...good to see you here.
well good to see you too bear,no really i mean see you,you look like your going to see eric with the lumberjack look going on, 8)
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Wow what a story...and what a man. Thanks for sharing your story with us. I had a liver biopsy years ago. When the needle went in, I almost went though the ceiling LoL. Did your "tickle" as much as mine?
Welcome to a special place. Happy to have you around!
i didnt feel a thing,im not affraid of needles,but when i heard a click i wanted to punch the doc in the head,and was only sore a couple day and couldnt take a deep breath,but now im ok,thanks,i really like watching the needle go into my knee now thats the one i like the most.and i try when it comes to kids because the 3 of my sisters kids didnt ask for the hand they were delt in life,im tryin my best for them as well as my own,but i really have to give plenty of qudos to my wise shes the one who has her hands full,i try to do things to help as much as i can while im healthy enough to do things.with fingrs crossed i want to go back to work im getting tired of the walls around me,im getting cabin fever,worse than the winter blues,this ones been 3 years of blues,mabey i can write some blues tunes now,they say you have to live them to know them and understand them,i just cant get muddy waters and eric clapton to come here and get a jam going ;)
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Wow Eric Clapton...He is the best blues guitarist in the world! Can I just watch while you guys jam? Hell, i would walk from Phoenix to Denver(or wherever) to see that!
With all you have going on in your life, with a family and all, it looks like to me that you are one tough son of a biotch. Keep on going man. You are stronger than you realize.