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Author Topic: can he be genuine???  (Read 8224 times)

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Offline 27years

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  • Posts: 145
  • What I did for love I will still do it for love
can he be genuine???
« on: June 04, 2007, 08:23:44 am »
i have met a neg guy and we had a good time together.  After some drinks i was a bit tipsy, things got really out of control and i got to the point that i could not resist him.  I told him point blank of my status before we did anything, At first i thought he was going to hold back but he was happy to carry on with protection, and we had a good time, the morning after he thought i was joking because i was drunk and my looks don't give away anything and because of my job he things i wouldn't be doing it if i was poz.  He insisted we should have a bond of some sort and we continued using protection,  Now he wants things to go a bit further as he is telling me that he loves me although he is still thinking that i told him because i wanted to get rid of him or tried to scare him off.  I like him so much and i think i have a duty of care to protect him, but how can i convince him that i am poz.  i was thinking of going with him to my Dr but on the other side i think its non of his business to know what i am up to with my health in case things don't work out.  should i give him the chance
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Offline David_CA

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Re: can he be genuine???
« Reply #1 on: June 04, 2007, 08:28:40 am »
I'd give him the chance to get to know you and your HIV status.  If you're on meds, just show him the bottle(s) of pills.  If you're not, just show him a copy of your labs.... that should convince him.  Good luck with it.

David
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Black Friday 03-03-2006
03-23-06 CD4 359 @27.4% VL 75,938
06-01-06 CD4 462 @24.3% VL > 100,000
08-15-06 CD4 388 @22.8% VL >  "
10-21-06 CD4 285 @21.9% VL >  "
  Atripla started 12-01-2006
01-08-07 CD4 429 @26.8% VL 1872!
05-08-07 CD4 478 @28.1% VL 740
08-03-07 CD4 509 @31.8% VL 370
11-06-07 CD4 570 @30.0% VL 140
02-21-08 CD4 648 @32.4% VL 600
05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
02-11-09 CD4 773 @36.8%
05-11-09 CD4 615 @36.2%
08-19-09 CD4 770 @38.5%
11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
05-23-11 CD4 846 @36.8% VL 80
02-13-12 CD4 911 @41.4% VL<20
You must be the change you want to see in the world.  Mahatma Gandhi

Offline redhotmuslbear

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  • Posts: 605
  • A genuine certified freak of nature, and a hot one
Re: can he be genuine???
« Reply #2 on: June 04, 2007, 08:32:24 am »
Why should you be required to prove anything about your medical status to this guy?  If he can't believe something so serious coming from your mouth now, he's got some major issues of his own to deal with like control on insecurity.  It sounds like the opening act of an emotional freak show.  Kick him to the curb now.

David
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Offline Dachshund

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  • Posts: 6,058
Re: can he be genuine???
« Reply #3 on: June 04, 2007, 08:39:31 am »
How long have you guys been "dating?" Seems a bit early for him to be declaring his love for you HIV or no HIV. You might want to get to know him a little better before rushing into anything. Course we all know two weeks in gay roughly translate to three years. ;D
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Offline cjc

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  • Posts: 1,011
  • Sweet Girl
Re: can he be genuine???
« Reply #4 on: June 04, 2007, 08:45:59 am »
Quote from: 27years on June 04, 2007, 08:23:44 am
i have met a neg guy and we had a good time together.  After some drinks i was a bit tipsy, things got really out of control and i got to the point that i could not resist him.  I told him point blank of my status before we did anything, At first i thought he was going to hold back but he was happy to carry on with protection, and we had a good time, the morning after he thought i was joking because i was drunk and my looks don't give away anything and because of my job he things i wouldn't be doing it if i was poz.  He insisted we should have a bond of some sort and we continued using protection,  Now he wants things to go a bit further as he is telling me that he loves me although he is still thinking that i told him because i wanted to get rid of him or tried to scare him off.  I like him so much and i think i have a duty of care to protect him, but how can i convince him that i am poz.  i was thinking of going with him to my Dr but on the other side i think its non of his business to know what i am up to with my health in case things don't work out.  should i give him the chance
                                                                                    My first thought after reading your post was RUN. If he thinks you are joking about something as important as that ,then You might have problems later.  Maybe try what David said, Show him your bottle of meds and see what happens. Best of luck to you.  Cristy
« Last Edit: June 04, 2007, 08:54:39 am by cjc »
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Offline pozinbama

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  • Posts: 74
Re: can he be genuine???
« Reply #5 on: June 04, 2007, 08:56:46 am »
I wouldn't in a million years get out a piece of paper to try and prove to someone that I was indeed positive. Or take them to the doctor with me? No way. I agree with David....if he can't believe something as serious as that coming from your mouth the guy has some issues. Not to say you shouldn't give him a chance. That is up to you. You did your duty by telling him you are poz. There should be no hoops you need to go through in order to convince him.

Steven
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Offline woodshere

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  • Posts: 1,474
  • ain't no shame in my game
Re: can he be genuine???
« Reply #6 on: June 04, 2007, 09:01:05 am »
Quote from: redhotmuslbear on June 04, 2007, 08:32:24 am
Why should you be required to prove anything about your medical status to this guy?  If he can't believe something so serious coming from your mouth now, he's got some major issues of his own to deal with like control on insecurity.  It sounds like the opening act of an emotional freak show.  Kick him to the curb now.

David

My thoughts exactly!!!
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"Let us give pubicity to HV/AIDS and not hide it..." "One of the things destroying people with AIDS is the stigma we attach to it."   Nelson Mandela

Offline carousel

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  • Posts: 821
Re: can he be genuine???
« Reply #7 on: June 04, 2007, 09:25:51 am »
Is it me, because I'm not quite clear what's going on.  I don't see what you have to prove that you're HIV.  Just telling him should be enough, I'm not sure why you have to explain further.

I was wondering what exactly you like in him.  If it was me, at the very least, I would find this really aggravating.

I wasn't sure what you meant by the "bond".  But as long as you continue to use protection, I suppose you can continue the relationship, but if he doesn't accept your word, it could become a stumbling book.

Good luck
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Offline Life

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  • Posts: 2,389
  • Member 2005
Re: can he be genuine???
« Reply #8 on: June 04, 2007, 09:54:04 am »
In stead of rose peddles sprinkled around the room and over the bed, I suppose you could toss the Sustiva's about??  You have nothing to prove... But I would suggest you talk to him when you both arnt toasted..

Eric
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Offline red_Dragon888

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  • Love and Be Love in Return
Re: can he be genuine???
« Reply #9 on: June 04, 2007, 10:31:48 am »
he is going too fast for me to understand.  Maybe you should slow down and take time to see how things will work out.  Maybe he is to young and dumb.
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Offline Bucko

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Re: can he be genuine???
« Reply #10 on: June 04, 2007, 02:11:24 pm »
If he cannot accept your status on faith (that is, without proof), then he probably has a suspicious nature to begin with. My experience is that suspicious people have secrets you'd probably prefer not to know either.

My advice, like the others, is to reconsider this guy as an appropriate suitor. Not because he's neg, but because he seems kinda off.

Brent
(Who understands affairs of the heart)
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Offline Cerrid

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  • only as good as your last haircut
Re: can he be genuine???
« Reply #11 on: June 04, 2007, 03:32:51 pm »
Quote from: red_Dragon888 on June 04, 2007, 10:31:48 am
Maybe he is to young and dumb.

That's what I thought when I read this. He does know what HIV and AIDS is, does he?

Cerrid
(who's careful about taking too much for granted)
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"Boredom is always counterrevolutionary. Always." (Guy Debord)

Offline DanielMark

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  • Posts: 1,475
Re: can he be genuine???
« Reply #12 on: June 04, 2007, 04:44:11 pm »
He insisted we should have a bond of some sort

Got any Krazy Glue?

He sounds a bit naive the way you describe him. Healthy relationships are nothing without trust, by the way.

No, you have nothing to prove to anyone.

Daniel
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Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: can he be genuine???
« Reply #13 on: June 04, 2007, 07:46:47 pm »
I had to read the original post over because I actually thought I was too high off the good green. Now I often have a warped point of view at times but how can he possibly think you would say you are poz just to try to blow him off? He needs bitch slapped for that. Especially when there so many other colorful things you could say.. ;D

It seems to me that you have already gotten to the sex part but I would talk to him again about being poz. I don't know why he didn't get it the first time. And if he's cool with it keep him as a friend with benefits, as I like to call them. Make sure he understands what this means. I feel like the others, he has some issues and would not venture into a full relationship with him. While being friends with benefits, it will give you a chance to really see him as a person but yet keep him at a distance. That's is just my take on it but you do what is best for you. Keep us posted...
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Offline 27years

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  • What I did for love I will still do it for love
Re: can he be genuine???
« Reply #14 on: June 09, 2007, 12:45:39 pm »
Thanks everyone for your advice, its a twist of things, having believed that he was negative it turned out that he was lying to me as he is also positive but he did not have the courage to tell me in the first place.  I have given the relationship a break as i am too angry to talk to him though he says he loves, now i don't know what the future holds for me and I feel as if i have moved one step forward and two steps back.
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Nobody dies a virgin life screws us all up

Offline milker

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Re: can he be genuine???
« Reply #15 on: June 09, 2007, 12:56:09 pm »
That's odd.. I would have jumped to the occasion to say that I was hiv+ too.

But i'm banned from talking about disclosure issues for a month so I won't elaborate LOL

Milker.
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Offline bear60

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Re: can he be genuine???
« Reply #16 on: June 09, 2007, 01:04:11 pm »
I agree with Milker. ..."That's odd.. I would have jumped to the occasion to say that I was hiv+ too."

So,  at 27 you arent mature enough to step back and look at the whole picture. You just had to punish him.  Nice going. If you really dont like him just drop the whole thing.
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