POZ Community Forums

Main Forums => Pre-HAART Long-Term Survivors => Topic started by: DanielMark on July 20, 2007, 11:18:56 am

Title: I'm getting divorced (sort of)
Post by: DanielMark on July 20, 2007, 11:18:56 am
I have smoked cigarettes longer than I’ve been HIV positive – which will be 19 years in September. This has got to stop.

After procrastinating for about five years (after a return to smoking following a 12-year break), I've decided to divorce Mr Nicotine  – again. I’ve set my target date and I’ll be going cold-turkey, the same way I did last time since none of the stop smoking products help me at all - not the pills and not the patches. Besides, why replace nicotine with nicotine? Makes no sense. And after reading that side effects may include nausea, vomiting, gas, headache and insomnia, Chantrix is and will remain a last resort option, if all else fails.

So, I am waiting on the delivery of a new bed this morning which will be my sanctuary from the world until I become civilized again. Also I have timed this horrifying event for when the boyfriend will be out of town (for work the first week of my withdrawal), so he’ll be out of danger of getting his head literally ripped off. I clearly remember the mood swings and the fits of anger and the utter insanity from the last time so it’s for the best.

Getting a new bed may be no major event, but it is the first outward signal to me that I am finally getting serious about making this change.

Thanks for reading,

Daniel
Title: Re: I'm getting divorced (sort of)
Post by: AlanBama on July 20, 2007, 11:22:11 am
Best of luck with this, Daniel.   My oldest brother is in the process also, except he is using Chantix.

Enjoy the new bed!

hugs,

Alan
Title: Re: I'm getting divorced (sort of)
Post by: Nadine on July 20, 2007, 11:22:39 am
Best of luck to you Daniel!
Title: Re: I'm getting divorced (sort of)
Post by: Alain on July 20, 2007, 11:26:16 am
Daniel,

Best of luck in your decision about quitting.

Not easy, but since I have done it; so can you.

Take care.

Alain.

PS cold turkey is best and enjoy the new bed.
Title: Re: I'm getting divorced (sort of)
Post by: DanielMark on July 20, 2007, 11:56:53 am
Thanks all,

Yes Alain, I remember well the freedom from being chained to smoking. Unfortunately I also remember the cravings never entirely left me in the 12 years I'd stopped, which was ultimately my downfall. Maybe this time I will be stronger and not get seduced all over again. I should also probably cut up my new VISA card.

(http://i90.photobucket.com/albums/k267/deemark/Emoticons/sigh.jpg)

Daniel
Title: Re: I'm getting divorced (sort of)
Post by: Andy Velez on July 20, 2007, 11:58:12 am
Divorces can get ugly but that new bed should be of help.

Good luck with this good thing you're doing for yourself,  Daniel.

Cheers,
Title: Re: I'm getting divorced (sort of)
Post by: redhotmuslbear on July 20, 2007, 12:41:37 pm
Yippeee!  One less addict!

Instead of retreating to your bed, get out and stay physically active.  Doing so will help remind you of how precious your lungs are.
Title: Re: I'm getting divorced (sort of)
Post by: milker on July 20, 2007, 01:33:53 pm
Good luck Daniel!!!

As an aside, Chantix has no nicotine, so this is something you could take a look at.

Milker.

/edited to get the first name right/
Title: Re: I'm getting divorced (sort of)
Post by: DanielMark on July 20, 2007, 03:22:11 pm
Actually Milker,

Here in Canada the brand is called Champix (http://www.pfizer.ca/english/newsroom/press%20releases/default.asp?s=1&releaseID=220). (Sounds like a breakfast cereal to me.)

So IF need be, I can always ask my psychotherapist to prescribe. Only trouble is, it's not covered under my health insurance. But my hope is that it won't come to that. Knowing from previous experience what I'll be facing, I am laying out plans for survival. One thing is joining an online Smoker's Helpline site, which I've done. Like alcoholics, only smokers can understand smokers.

Daniel
Title: Re: I'm getting divorced (sort of)
Post by: bear60 on July 20, 2007, 07:23:28 pm
Good luck Daniel
Title: Re: I'm getting divorced (sort of)
Post by: aztecan on July 21, 2007, 09:04:29 pm
Daniel,

Good luck and hang in there.

I am glad I joined the unhooked generation, for those who remember that ad, and I smoked for 34 years.

HUGS,

Mark
Title: Re: I'm getting divorced (sort of)
Post by: sweetasmeli on July 22, 2007, 06:50:35 am
Oooo good luck with the divorce, Daniel!
Don't you be pinging me online all grumpy and shit though! :D

You're in my thoughts, hon.

Melia :-*
Title: Re: I'm getting divorced (sort of)
Post by: DanielMark on July 22, 2007, 07:02:29 am
Thanks for the well wishes.

My new bed/sanctuary was delivered Friday and it’s all set up now (except for a headboard but that can wait). It’s going to be my de-stressing place away from the annoying wretched world. I have lots of books to preoccupy my thoughts and a few cross-stitch projects line up to keep the hands busy. I may also finally get busy on writing my memoirs, something I’ve been putting off for too long now.

And I am planning to get more active, probably by taking up my morning power walks again. I’m sure there will be extra pounds from pigging out at first that are going to need burning off. Besides, that feeling of wanting to escape out of your own skin will need attending to somehow. I also have some weights here that have been nothing but decoration for the past few years.

Daniel
Title: Re: I'm getting divorced (sort of)
Post by: DanielMark on July 27, 2007, 07:45:03 am
My target date (or my last smoking day) is in about a week and a half - August 7 to be precise. I saw my therapist on Tuesday and we discussed this. He is all for me trying to stop again and I feel mentally prepared. The only thing I wonder about is how adapting to the new habits I have lined up is going to affect my loved ones.

That’s Mr Nicotine starting to complain I suppose. I may have to hire a hit man to take him out this time around.

Addiction = insanity. If you do not smoke, I highly recommend you never start.

(http://i90.photobucket.com/albums/k267/deemark/Emoticons/penguinaspin.gif)

Daniel
Title: Re: I'm getting divorced (sort of)
Post by: bear60 on July 27, 2007, 11:06:35 am
Daniel
Not a week goes by in the almost i year that I stopped smoking that I havent said...is this worth it....I think I'll start smoking again.  But I dont and I havent.  But I used to smoke to "feel normal"....now I dont feel normal anymore...and my accupuncturist is trying to help me FEEL NORMAL again.  The new "feeling normal" usually only lasts a few day after treatment, but we are working on a series of treatments that MAY help.  If not I told him that I was going to see a psychiatrist and get prescriptions.
Title: Re: I'm getting divorced (sort of)
Post by: DanielMark on July 27, 2007, 12:45:20 pm
Bear,

The good news is that I am fed up now after returning to smoking five years ago. It’s really starting to piss me off (but I can use that to my advantage I think).

(http://i90.photobucket.com/albums/k267/deemark/Emoticons/newwink.jpg)
Title: Re: I'm getting divorced (sort of)
Post by: aztecan on July 29, 2007, 03:17:27 pm
Daniel,

Hang in there. I know precisely what you are going through because I have been there - as have many others.

Back in the day, I was a regular user of a certain nose candy imported from the wilds of Columbia. Cocaine and I were very good friends.

One day, I realized we had become too close and that my friend was exercising a bit too much control over my life. I decided to stop.

That was a breeze compared to stopping smoking. There are days I want to climb the walls, even though I quit six months ago.

But, on the plus side, I no longer hack like a tubercular asthmatic. So, there are good things to consider.

I will be thinking of you and sending positive energy your way.

HUGS,

Mark
Title: Re: I'm getting divorced (sort of)
Post by: DanielMark on July 30, 2007, 04:08:37 am
Thanks Mark,

I can use all the positive energy you can muster. They say nicotine is worse than heroin to get off of, and although I never tried it I can believe that.

Daniel
Title: Re: I'm getting divorced (sort of)
Post by: Christine on July 30, 2007, 05:20:06 pm
Daniel,
Sending you good thoughts! You can do it!

Enjoy the new bed!
Christine
Title: Re: I'm getting divorced (sort of)
Post by: DanielMark on August 01, 2007, 04:49:46 am
Thank you, Christine.

One thing that has already improved is that I am sleeping better (and for longer) at night now that I have a proper bed.

Daniel
Title: Re: I'm getting divorced (sort of)
Post by: DanielMark on August 06, 2007, 06:28:49 am
Tomorrow is my last day to smoke, then it's climbing the walls time. I quit once for 12 years (until 2003 - the year from hell), so I know what's coming.

Please bear with me while I GO OUT OF MY MIND. Hopefully it will only be temporary, but it might be hard to tell any difference. (http://i90.photobucket.com/albums/k267/deemark/Emoticons/spinningeyes.gif)

Title: Re: I'm getting divorced (sort of)
Post by: mjmel on August 06, 2007, 07:21:07 am
Chantix Cost: $120 (US) for the initial 6 wks starter kit.  $115.00 for maintenance refill (another 6 weeks). Compare that with costs of smoking.
(cost per pack, tar buildup in lungs, social restrictions: smells a lot worst than you realize, dulls tastes and smells, significant efforts of body to combat the negative effects of nicotine when it can be fighting an equally deadly adversity.....(at this point I am addressing all those others out there who are still smoking but thinking about dealing with this addictive, lifetaking habit.)
The whole 'climbing the wall' episodes simply never happen when Chantix is in the system.

Mike
Title: Re: I'm getting divorced (sort of)
Post by: J.R.E. on August 06, 2007, 08:25:52 am

Please bear with me while I GO OUT OF MY MIND. Hopefully it will only be temporary, but it might be hard to tell any difference. (http://i90.photobucket.com/albums/k267/deemark/Emoticons/spinningeyes.gif)




Wishing you the best Daniel !! You can do it !!
Title: Re: I'm getting divorced (sort of)
Post by: sweetasmeli on August 06, 2007, 10:29:32 am
Please bear with me while I GO OUT OF MY MIND. Hopefully it will only be temporary, but it might be hard to tell any difference. (http://i90.photobucket.com/albums/k267/deemark/Emoticons/spinningeyes.gif)

Well, I didn't want to say anything but...seeing as you brought it up first! :D

Good luck sweetie...you know where I am if you wanna scream...well, till Thursday anyway. ;D

Melia :-*
Title: Re: I'm getting divorced (sort of)
Post by: DanielMark on August 06, 2007, 12:25:42 pm
Mike,

To quote myself at the top of this thread:

"And after reading that side effects may include nausea, vomiting, gas, headache and insomnia, Chantix is and will remain a last resort option, if all else fails."

Here in Canada it's sold as Champix. But, there is more than one way to go about this and I'm going to try my own methods first.

Want To Stop Smoking? An All-natural Approach
Can Help You Cope With Nicotine Withdrawal Symptoms And Cravings


http://www.thehealthierlife.co.uk/article/2943/stop-smoking.html

Thanks for the good wishes, JRE and Melia.

Daniel
Title: Re: I'm getting divorced (sort of)
Post by: aztecan on August 07, 2007, 11:36:31 am
Hey Daniel,

I was reading the link you provided and noted it said to eat a low-carb diet because fluctuating blood sugar levels can aggravate cravings.

I had noticed this myself. When I allow myself to get too hungry, the cravings for a smoke increase. So, I guess they know what they're talking about.

Hmmm, that means I will be forced to take an afternoon ice cream break. I know, not low carb but there's nothing like a hot fudge sundae to set the afternoon off.

HUGS,

Mark
Title: Re: I'm getting divorced (sort of)
Post by: DanielMark on August 07, 2007, 03:46:23 pm
Yes, I noticed that Mark.

You get the bowls and I’ll get the spoons.
Title: Re: I'm getting divorced (sort of)
Post by: DanielMark on August 09, 2007, 05:05:56 am
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times. (Mark Twain)

ARGH!
Title: Re: I'm getting divorced (sort of)
Post by: DanielMark on August 11, 2007, 06:48:47 am
Well four days into this and things are not going so well.  :'(  This time it’s much harder for some reason.

I may have to give in and try the Champix (Chantix) too if I don't soon hit the turning point!

Pray for me.

Daniel
Title: Re: I'm getting divorced (sort of)
Post by: DanielMark on September 11, 2007, 02:41:56 pm
Mike,

To quote myself at the top of this thread:

"And after reading that side effects may include nausea, vomiting, gas, headache and insomnia, Chantix is and will remain a last resort option, if all else fails."

Here in Canada it's sold as Champix. But, there is more than one way to go about this and I'm going to try my own methods first.


Well folks it's official. I’m at my wit’s end on this.

I’ve been having so much trouble staying stopped from smoking that I asked my psychiatrist this morning for a Champix prescription. I sure hope it's as effective at blocking the nicotine from the brain receptors as all the reports I've read say it is.  :-\

Daniel
Title: Re: I'm getting divorced (sort of)
Post by: AlanBama on September 11, 2007, 07:30:40 pm
Good luck Daniel, I hope you can stick with it.

hugs,

Alan
Title: Re: I'm getting divorced (sort of)
Post by: J.R.E. on September 11, 2007, 07:56:20 pm


Good luck !! By the way, did you start those power walks yet. I think you will find them helpful !!



Take care------Ray
Title: Re: I'm getting divorced (sort of)
Post by: DanielMark on September 12, 2007, 03:12:19 am
Thanks Ray and Alan. I'll keep you posted.
Title: Re: I'm getting divorced (sort of)
Post by: DanielMark on September 12, 2007, 10:41:03 am
Well, for better or worse I am now officially taking Champix. Picked up my starter pack from a pharmacy near Jimmy's this morning and popped the first .5mg tablet around 9:00. So far, no unwanted side effects at all. LOL

Don’t you love those product side effects warning inserts they put with drugs? I never know whether to be terrified of them or disappointed when none of them happen to me.
Title: Re: I'm getting divorced (sort of)
Post by: megasept on September 13, 2007, 12:21:03 am
After procrastinating for about five years (after a return to smoking following a 12-year break), I've decided to divorce Mr Nicotine  – again.
So, I am waiting on the delivery of a new bed this morning

Daniel

There are healthy alternatives to smoking...Need any help breaking in the new bed?

  :o  ::)  :P   :-X    8) -megasept
Title: Re: I'm getting divorced (sort of)
Post by: DanielMark on September 13, 2007, 09:05:28 am
Uh  . . .  erm  . . .  it's kinda too late for that, MS.

The boyfriend and I inaugurated it weeks ago.  ;)
Title: Re: I'm getting divorced (sort of)
Post by: DanielMark on September 19, 2007, 10:28:22 am
On day eight of Champix today – my quit day – and I have to say I am astounded at the reduction in cravings already.

Am I hallucinating?
Title: Re: I'm getting divorced (sort of)
Post by: cayucosguy on September 20, 2007, 01:50:54 pm
You aren't hallucinating!  It really does seem to work, at least for me.  I've gone from 1.5 - 2 packs per day to two puffs off of someone else's (I was a bit tipsy and just wanted to see what it tasted like) in the past three weeks.

My only side-fx have been the bizarre dreams (never-ending story type of dreams - if I get up in the middle of the night to piss, the dreams seem to pick up where the left off)  :o

Hang in there, my friend.  You will get through it!

Vince
Title: Re: I'm getting divorced (sort of)
Post by: DanielMark on September 21, 2007, 04:06:03 am
Thanks Vince,

I'm only on day 10 of Champix (and day two without smoking) and I've had no side effects.

This is twilight zone worthy.  LOL
Title: Re: I'm getting divorced (sort of)
Post by: aztecan on September 25, 2007, 08:55:47 am
Hey Daniel,

I agree, it is surreal. I was amazed a how well Chantix (Champix) controlled the cravings.

For the record, I am no longer taking it. But I did take it for six months, because of Sustiva.

I managed to go through the entire AMG 07 in San Francisco, being surrounded by smokers, even going to the clubs and drinking, without smoking.

If I can do it, I know you can. Just don't try to stop taking Champix early. Go through the entire course of the medication. Those who stop early usually relapse, although one member here did it without a problem.

Hang in there.

HUGS,

Mark
Title: Re: I'm getting divorced (sort of)
Post by: DanielMark on September 25, 2007, 04:35:34 pm
Thanks Mark,

Funny, but I was just talking about this with my psychotherapist this morning and he said that not everyone needs to go beyond four weeks - that the drug will have reached its maximum effectiveness on the brain by that point. I'll keep an open mind about that and see how things progress.

Daniel
Title: Re: I'm getting divorced (sort of)
Post by: DanielMark on October 04, 2007, 02:24:09 pm
"It’s possible that you might slip up and smoke while taking CHANTIX. If you do, you can stay on CHANTIX and keep trying to quit."

And so I will. On my eighth day of not smoking . . . CRASH!

*grumble grumble*
Title: Re: I'm getting divorced (sort of)
Post by: bear60 on October 06, 2007, 11:49:22 am
I thought Chantix made cigarettes TASTE bad........? How is it possible to smoke while on Chantix.
Title: Re: I'm getting divorced (sort of)
Post by: DanielMark on October 06, 2007, 12:51:09 pm
All cigarettes taste bad Bear, but that never stopped me from lighting up. That’s the insanity part of this addiction.

I've been smoking for about 35 years since I was 14. Maybe I'm just a hopeless case, but I am NOT giving up on trying to stay stopped again, no matter how many times I might slip. I did it for 12 years and I can do it again.

Daniel