POZ Community Forums

Meds, Mind, Body & Benefits => Mental Health & HIV => Topic started by: delilah07 on December 09, 2021, 04:07:28 pm

Title: Can others affect our mental health
Post by: delilah07 on December 09, 2021, 04:07:28 pm
I am married, but we lie about everything to people. Including how we met because we have HIV.
It really is hard for me to lie and keep it straight. I feel guilty. Itís also like my husband is ashamed of my past. Which in turn I have felt shame, humiliation, and embarrassed.
In my past I posed for photos. I wasnít paid, I did it for fun. So I thought nothing of it.
But my husband wants me to have a squeaky clean image.
I woke up today wishing to be free of shame, etc Ö
So I am not planning on telling people all this. I just plan to lose weight and think more on what I want.
Besides Ö my daughter is 23. I have so much time to myself.
I donít want to blame my husband for affecting my mental health. I just donít want to lie or care what others think any more.
I am bipolar. I take my medication, but I shouldnít feel shame on a daily basis. Itís stressful and holds me back.