POZ Community Forums
HIV Prevention and Testing => Do I Have HIV? => Topic started by: en151 on December 25, 2007, 07:01:43 pm
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First of all I want to say that this site is great. I've literaly been going out of my mind with worry for the past month or so. I wasn't even able to enjoy a recent vacation because of all this stuff hanging over my head. Reading other posts on this site comforted me a lot and after finding the site yesterday, today has been the first day I actually felt somewhat like myself since this mess began. Here's my situation...
Over the past three months I've had three sexual partners. Two of them I've recieved unprotected oral sex from and went down on one of them for about a second. I don't even think my mouth even touched her vagina...just kissed around her vagina a little bit. That was it.
The third girl I had unprotected vaginal sex with. This was my FIRST TIME for vaginal sex and it lasted for about thirty seconds (dont laugh lol). We did it one more time later that night for about another thirty seconds. I've known this girl for about two years and I'm pretty sure she's not a risky partner but I plan on talking to her about it tomorrow (up until find the site, my main concern was with the oral sex). My worries came from the fact that I came down with a pretty bad illness mid-to late November (two months after the vaginal sex). My throat and gums swelled up to the point where I couldn't eat for a week and lost close to ten pounds. I had a high temperature for about half a day but it went away quick. I also got fever blisters on my lips and a slight red rash on my penis that doesn't irritate me or hurt me at all. The doc diagnosed it as strep and gave me antibiotics. He also gave me a cream for the penis rash, saying it was balanitis, but I've been taking it for two weeks and it hasn't helped yet. The throat irritation went away in about 8 days as well as the fever blisters and swollen gums. I still have a little bit of a white tounge towards the back of my throat. Ever since then I haven't been feeling like myself at all...frequent dizziness and slight fatigue as well as a dry post viral cough. Like many others, I went on the internet and proceeded to scare myself to death until I found your site. I had a couple specific questions and any general advice you guys can give me would be great. First, assuming a person recently infected with HIV were to get the "flu-like symptoms" i read about, what is the window period after the exposure that this would happen? Also, how long would the symptoms last and would they come all together or one following the other? My main worry is the dry cough that started once the initial symptoms went away. Again, any help would be appreciated and sorry for the long post.
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Hi En,
OK, do yourself a favor and take a nice deep breath in and out right now, nice and slow. And then do it a second time. Really. And remember to do that everytime you find yourself tensing up.
The ONLY risky thing you did as far as HIV is concerned was the unprotected intercourse. The other stuff you've described and reported did not put you at risk. Period.
HIV is not an easy virus to transmit. It's significantly more difficult to accomplish from female to male. Given what you have described took place -- the brevity of those two incidents -- the odds against transmission having occured are overwhelmingly in your favor. Get tested at 13 weeks and collect what I certainly expect will be a negative result.
Forget about pursuing the lady in question about her status. It doesn't matter what she says or how reassuring she is. You still need to get tested and have your own proof regarding your status.
Becoming sexually active is very exciting. It can also be scary and anxiety provoking and I suspect you're feeling some of that in your over-the-top reaction to this incident. I expect you to come out of this ok. You also need to learn from this experience. The HIV status of your partners is irrelevant as long as you always without exception use a condom. And that means no matter what you think you know about the person's status or how great they look. A condom is a must. Period.
As for your symptoms, see your doctor if the persist. I don't see this as and HIV situation and certainly there is nothing even remotely HIV specific about any of the ones you're reporting.
Lastly, read our lesson on Transmission. There's a link to it in the Welcome thread which opens this section. This epidemic is going to be around for a long time to come and no one can afford to be unknowing about the basics related to preventing transmission.
Now, remember to do that breathing.
Cheers,
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Andy, thanks a lot I really appreciate the quick response. Just finding this forum is making me feel a lot better.
Rereading my post, I realize how paranoid it might seem. Its just that all these symptoms that i've never had before started happening and then I went to the dentist, who looked at me (and my white tounge) with bug eyes and said that the only people that have that are people with very weak immune systems. I know I have to take the test but I'm scared to death of taking it. I also read somewhere that dry cough is the first sign of HIV...any truth to that? Also, where could I get a list of testing centers near my area?
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The first and only credible sign of HIV is a positive result on an HIV test. Hopefully you won't get that.
But you do need to learn from this experience. No intercourse without condoms. Period.
As for a testing site, call your local board of health or any hospital in your area and ask them where you can get tested. Does it matter to you if it's anonymous or not? If it does, be sure to specify that when you ask for a testing site.
Good luck and keep us posted.
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Well im going to do the test today...the lab told me to call back within 1-3 business days for a result. I'm completely scared out of my mind. Why did they say to call back so fast? Doesn't it usually take a week? Any words of encouragement would be helpful...never done anything this scary in my life. Thanks guys, Andy I really appreciate the encouraging words.
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Don't go misinterpreting what the message from the lab means. They are just doing their business and there's no coded message to be read out of that.
Now get productively busy and the time will pass. As I have said before the odds are in your favor that you'll get a happy result.
Breathe!
Cheers,
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Im going completely insanse here guys..I've read earlier threads in this forum about a guy who said recieved oral sex and ended up being infected. His symptoms and timetable matched mine completely. This is the worst feeling ever... I got tested yesterday at 3 p.m. and they said to call within one to three days. Should i call this afternoon or is it too soon? I can't imagine making this phone call...don't know what I'm going to do.
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I have no idea where you read they anyone contract HIV from receiving a blowjob. That is not true at all. It has never happened in the 25+ years of HIV. You will not be the first.
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THe user LiveLifetoFullest claimed to use protection for everything except oral and got infected. ITs just so scary because the symptoms are so identical to what everyone describes. The only thing re-assuring me is that the symptoms didn't come all at once. THe cough started after the original swollen throat/gums symptoms went away. Gosh I'd never thought I'd be in this situation...so nerve wrecking. I got tested yesterday at 3:00 P.M. and it's been 24 hours. They said to call in 1 to 3 days..should I call now or do you guys think its too early?
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They were never HIV positive.
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I was reading the thread and he said that he got a HIV positive result on his test.
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He hasn't posted since November, had not had a confirmative test, stated he going to test and didn't have the balls to face everyone with his negative result. He still comes and trolls the forum. He did not contract HIV.
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Thanks Rod I appreciate it...any thoughts on whether or not i should call in today for a result after my test yesterday? They said to call in 1-3 days after test.
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Labs go at their own pace. Sure, if you want to call, go ahead and do so. If they don't have a result for you yet don't make the mistake that others do sometimes of misinterpreting that to mean "something's wrong." It's just lab stuff. Hopefully you'll have your answer soon and for what it's worth I expect you to come out of this ok.
Keep us posted.
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Again, Andy, thanks so much for the support.
Tried calling today but I guess they were closed for the day. Worried sick..all my friends are going out tonight and im sitting at home paralyzed with fear. Thinking about the incidents, my symptoms didn't start until about a month in a half or almost two months after the vaginal sex occured. After that there was nothing but the oral. Two months is too long for symptoms to start after the with regard to initial infection right? I'd really love to hear from Ann if possible..your posts are always reassuring.
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en151.
I'll add some thoughts for you too.
Firstly your illness doesn't sound like HIV. HIV attacks the immune system and not the respiratory system so it wouldn't leave you with a dry cough. The exact timing of symptoms that have been attributed to HIV is 4-6 weeks - so yes, your illness came on way too late. Furthermore a fever for a day and a bit sounds like a cold....and HIV doesn't swell your gums. You have done the wrong thing in trying to make an internet diagnosis based on some symptoms. Type anything that you would get from a common cold and you will end up hitting some HIV site or another...and that would only serve to worry you.
Andy is spot on as usual. Your anxiety is made worse by the fact that this is the first sexual act you have had. Don't concentrate on it being a bad thing, just learn from it. As Andy says you would be unlikely to get HIV from this incident. However, in order to protect yourself from STDs and the odd unwanted baby ....use condoms at all times without exception.
Also, learn from Andy that calling someone to ask their status is a, "No no". Firstly the information is not reliable as they aren't going to come and give you a test result when you ask. Secondly, it is a little rude. How would you feel if someone phoned you after what you thought was a fun night and asked if you had any STDs? No, your health is your business - there health is theres. There are things you can do to prevent STD infections - by using condoms. Do that and it doesn't matter if they have HIV or any other common STD.
I expect you will test negative and I'm not worried about you. However, if you want to be sure of this you need to test 3 months from the last unprotected sexual act. Both now and for all other unprotected acts.
Best,
R
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PS My (research) lab is shut down for the holiday. We got to go have fun too you know.
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Aren't swollen gums a part of oral thrush?
Update: tried calling the clinic today but all I get is a busy signal. I guess they're closed on sundays. Hopefully they'll be open on new years.
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No, swollen gums is not a part of oral thrush.
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THanks again guys...this site is the only thing getting me through this right now.
Unfortonutely I've had another symptom...numbness in my left hand like it fell asleep. I've had it in my right foot too. Its been happening the past two mornings as im waking up. I need to massage it for about half a minute before it goes back to normal. Is this something you experience during acute HIV infection? Also, is dry cough something that occurs during the acute phase or later on in the virus?
I've tried to do things to get my mind off this but I can't. The worst part is the dizziness i've been having. Before this started, I was real big on working out...4-5 times a week and I can't even do that because I get light headed a half hour into my workout. All I've been doing the past two days is eating, sleeping, and looking for answers on this site. Hopefully I can get my result tomorrow..thanks again guys.
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Unfortonutely I've had another symptom...numbness in my left hand like it fell asleep. I've had it in my right foot too. Its been happening the past two mornings as im waking up. I need to massage it for about half a minute before it goes back to normal.
I've tried to do things to get my mind off this but I can't. The worst part is the dizziness i've been having. Before this started, I was real big on working out...4-5 times a week and I can't even do that because I get light headed a half hour into my workout.
The numbness and dizziness sound more like anxiety attacks than anything else.
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baseballforu07, keep all of your opinions, questions and concerns in your own post. DO NOT post in any thread other than your own. Since you haven't read the posting guidelines in the "Welcome" thread take time to read them.
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Neither swollen gums nor thrush are HIV-specific occurences. Nor is your hand going number. Right now and I guess until you collect the negative result I expect you to receive your mind may work overtime and misinterpret everything as yet another confirmatory sign of your worst fears. That's how minds go once those HIV jitters get started.
Staying productively busy with other matters does help to pass the waiting time. Really.
I expect you to come out of this ok. Unfortunately if your lab doesn't have results on Monday they will probably be closed until Wednesday, so you may have to work longer on being busy if that happens.
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Called the lab today...they're open but they didn't have my result yet. I'm going to try again later today but they said that if they don't have it today I'll have to wait tiil wednesday. I didn't realize how hard it would be till i dialed the phone...i feel like crying right now and i haven't cried in 5 years. This is the absolute hardest thing i've ever done and i dont know how im going to make it.
I'm thinking about actually trying to find a place where I can get a rapid test done today because I dont know how ill make it till wednesday.
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Get a grip there. Labs close over the holidays, trust me. Find a place that does rapid testing?? Just hang in there and get a grip man.
R
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Wanna wish everyone on here a happy New Year and I hope everything turns out good for all of you. You have no idea how much being on this board has helped me the last few days. I'm praying for a happy result on Wednesday.
I know symptoms aren't really discussed here but if somebody could just put my mind at ease about this dry cough. It isn't a symptom of early HIV infection is it? I've had it since my intiitial flu symptoms wore off and its still there. Not constant but a couple times a day. HIVworker, i know you said that dry cough isn't a symptom at all but everywhere I read that it is. Any words about this would do wonders for my mind. Thanks again and happy new year everyone.
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It isn't a symptom of early infection. It is one of those things that if you have it for a long period of time and it is accompanied with weight loss, swollen lymph nodes etc then you might have HIV...for those people who don't think or know they have HIV and start feeling sick after having it for some time.
You are confusing HIV seroconversion sickness and later stages of HIV when opportunistic infections are more common.
R
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So what you're saying is that the cough actually comes along with other illnesses?
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It can be....but I am not going to go through your list of 100 googled pages to answer each one. There is a reason we don't talk about symptoms...because they don't mean anything. Remember I said that come Wednesday.
R
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Just called in...results still not back. I'm completely freaking out...i gotta pay for next semesters college classes, figure out my schedule for work, etc and i cant do anything without knowing this result. I'm going to try back again later but this is driving me completely insanse :(
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en,
My ex-partner and I were together for 18 months before we found out I was positive. We never used condoms before my diagnosis, yet he remained hiv negative. We were together for eight years - and he's still negative.
The chance of you becoming hiv positive from a one time, thirty second, vaginal, insertive encounter is vanishingly small. I fully expect you to test hiv negative and so should you.
Ann
edited for clarity
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PS:
You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.
Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.
Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.
As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.
Ann
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Ann, Andy, HIVworker and everyone else...thank you so much. You guys have no idea how much you helped me in the last week. I just got off the phone with the lab and recieved a result of NEGATIVE!! Living in doubt for the last month and a half shook me the core...i can't even imagine the mental strength that you guys have and i commend you for it and wish you all the best of luck. This whole thing made me realize that I'm not as strong of a 21 year old as i thought i was. God bless all you guys! I do still have some symptoms that I'll be checking out with my doctor.
Couple last things...this test was definitly three months past the vaginal unprotected sex as the event happened in late september. No need to test for the two oral sex encounters, correct? Also, what does the reference interval stand for? My reference interval was 1.00.
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Yes, you are reliably HIV negative. Forget about that oral stuff. Period. End of story.
Get on with your life and keep those condoms handy and use 'em everytime.
Cheers for the New Year!
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Thanks again Andy...you guys are amazing and I thank all of you.
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We're glad we were able to help you get through a difficult time.
Onward! And good luck in school.
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Great....knew you would be OK! Best of luck and use condoms!
R
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One thing guys...what does index value on the test mean?
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Don't start doubting the test. It's a statistical tool used to calibrate your result next to known positive and negative controls. Your result is negative. So move on.
R
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Hi all,
I posted here about a year and a half ago with the concern that i contracted HIV. I tested negative on 12/28/07 atleast 12 weeks after my last risk. Since then, I've screwed up again. I've recently had a few life changing experiences and dealing with the risk i had is part of the process I'm going through to get my life back on track. Since the last test I've had unprotected vaginal sex 3 times with 3 different girls..and I'm really freaking out. The first time was i the summer of 08 and literaly lasted no more than 30-45 seconds before I pulled out and realized what I'm doing. The second time was later that summer and again was really quick, no more than 1.5 minutes. The 3rd time was this past April (4/21) and again as pretty quick, under 2 minutes. I was drunk on all occassions and I now realize how the drinking lead me to this situation. Horrible choices I know but I'm posting to get some support some support. I've also recieved unprotected oral sex several times but you guys have said that was not a risk, correct?About a week and a half ago I came down with a pretty bad sore throat that progressed to a productive cough that i still have and some body aches. I know u guys don't talk about symptoms but if the symptoms were ARS-related, how long do those usually last? What do u guys think my chances are that I test negative? I'm so depressed now and all i can think about is my mother and how it would crush her if anything like this happened to me. Andy, you were a huge help last time and I'd love to hear from you. Thanks.
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en
I know it has been about 18 months since you last posted but please use this thread to ask your questions from now on....thank you for your cooperation.
As you have been told in the past HIV is not an easy virus to transmit, and it's even more difficult to transmit from female to male.
Get tested at 13 weeks after your last risky exposure and for God sake start taking some responsibility for your own health, and use condoms at all times...NO EXCEPTIONS.
If you are having problems with your drinking then maybe you need to talk to someone about this.
Jan
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I know you guys don't really do stats or anything but does the fact that the encounters were so brief give me a better shot of testing negative? I'd really appreciate some words of encouragement, if there are any to give. I can barely keep my mind on work or anything. I'm praying I come out of this alright I plan on abstaining until I get married. Thanks in advance.
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There is nothing more to add to what anniebc has already told you.
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Can someone please just comment on the whether or not the length of the incidents play in my favor? I don't mean to be a pain...just any kind of reassurance would do wonders right now for my mind. And the ARS...my sore throat started 11 days after the last exposure. It kind of progressed from a sore throat, to a productive cough and stuffy nose as well as sneazing. I've also had some body aches but I might attribute that to my work since I'm in an athletic line of work. I've never had a fever or rash. Is this typical of ARS or does it all come at once? Rapidrod, thanks for the response and again I really don't mean to be a pain...its just that any kind of reassurance from you guys really helps get me through the day. Andy, Ann...any thoughts on this? Thank you.
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EN, HIV is a fragile virus and not easy to transmit. It is significantly more difficult to accomplish from female to male. So that is in your favor as testing negative. The fact that the incidents were brief is also in your favor.
None of the symptoms you are reporting are in any way HIV-specific. In fact, neither the presence nor the absence of symptoms will ever tell you anything accurately about your HIV status. Receiving oral is no risk for transmission to you so there's no need to be concerned about that.
Lower risk is not the same as no risk so you do need to get tested. You should do that at 13 weeks past the most recent unprotected incident. During the waiting time to test you need to get productively busy with other matters in your life. And don't say you're too worried to do that because that response won't fly here.
Overall I would say the odds are in your favor that you'll test negative. But you do need to get real about HIV. You need to use a condom everytime for vaginal or anal intercourse until you are in a securely monogamous relationship in which both partners reliably test negative together. Everytime you have unprotected intercourse you are putting your life at risk. It's as stark and as simple as that.
As Jan has pointed out, if you have a drinking problem that is something you can get help with. Mixing excessive drinking and casual sex is a recipe for disaster.
Now, get busy with other things in your life. Good luck with your test when you take it.
Cheers.
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Thanks Andy, i appreciate it. I'm going to the doctor today to check out my symptoms and I'm going to the clinic next friday to test for all other STD's since I'm still in the window period for HIV. The last exposure was 4/21 so I'm three weeks in...I'll probably do the preliminary test in three more weeks. I feel like such an idiot for putting myself in this situation. Could someone just answer one more question for me and then I'll be done..with the ARS do the symptoms progress or do they come all at once? Thanks again guys.
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ARS symptoms all come at the same time.
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I know I said I wouldn't post anymore till I got my test but this is the only thing that's keeping me somewhat sane. I'm completely terrified that I'm going to test positive and I just keep thinking about how i'm going to deal with it. Is there any way u can still have kids if you have the disease? I've got a an STD test scheduled for this Friday for all other STDs with the option of testing for hiv and I'm thinking of just testing for it too. It will only be 4.5 weeks since the last exposure but a good 6-plus months since the previous two that I talk about. I figure if somehow i can collect a negative result then it might do wonders for the mind. I don't know I'm just freaking out right now and if I can come out of this alright i really have no desire to have sex until I get married.
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1. The average time to seroconversion is 22 days.
2. A negative result at 4.5 weeks would be encouraging but it would be a more meaningful result if done at 6 weeks since at that point all but the smallest number of those who are going to seroconvert will have done so.
3. Yes, it is possible to still have children safely if one or both parents are HIV+, but you are jumping way ahead of yourself about that issue since you haven't tested positive and odds are you won't.
4. Right now you're scared about your status and having a low sex drive is not a surprise. It'll be more important and meaningful if you are willing to change your pattern of excessive drinking and off again/on again use of condoms to using them soberly and consistently from now on. And that's about action and not just words and promises made while you're scared.
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Thanks for the kind words Andy...I've been feeling better the last couple days. Yesterday I went and got a screening for all other STD"s besides HIV..I'm getting the Hiv test in two weeks which will be the 6-week point. I'm a little freaked out after they took my blood at the clinic for the syphilis test...they're required to to change needles for every person right? MY arms been a little sore at the spot where they drew the blood...I know it might sound absurd but no need to worry about catching hiv from the needle they used to take my blood for the syphilis test, right?
Thanks again to anyone who responded...you guys a really helping me out through a tough time.
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Yes, they do change needles. And no, you won't be exposed to HIV through a contaminated test needle.
And yes you are being nutz.
Get busy with other things between now and your 6 week test. Which I expect will be negative.
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Well I'm going to get the test tomorrow morning...six weeks and 3 days post exposure. I'm completely scared to death and have convince myself that I'm positive and just praying that I'm wrong. Either way I really do appreciate the help. Andy, your words are so reassuring and they've really helped me atleast try to keep my head on straight through this. I'm getting the test done at a local clinic so the results take like a week which is definitly going to do a number on me. One question I had...regarding symptoms but bear with me...if i somehow contracted this virus in November of 08 (the 2nd of the three brief possible exposures I'm worried about) would I start getting symptoms this quick..five months later? I actually talked to the girl and she said she was recently tested and is fine but I know that the only reliable thing is my own test result. Anyway..thanks again for the service and it's a very admirable thing that you guys are doing by helping worried people like myself.
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Since you've managed to survive 6 weeks you will get through the coming one after your test tomorrow.
As I am sure you've been told before this, neither the presence nor the absence of symptoms will ever tell you anything about your HIV status. So getting into a discussion of what ifs and symptoms is never the way to go.
What the woman told you is somewhat reassuring but in the long run it's your test result that matters. And I still expect that result to be negative.
So breathe, get on with your life and other things while waiting for what I expect will be a happy result.
Cheers.
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Weelll...I decided that I didn't want to wait a whole week for a result so I was lucky enough to find a community center in my city that does free rapid OraQuick test with the finger prick. I went and did it today and to my relief the result was negative!! The counselor was very reassuring and had been doing this for years. He was very nice and reassured my that my risk was pretty low and I should be fine.
Thanks Andy and everyone else for geting my through this..it really meant a lot and you guys provide a wonderful service. . On the way home, I bought a condoms and already put one in my wallet, several in my car as well as in the drawer next to my bed...never putting myself in this situation again!
This test was exactly 6 weeks and 3 days past the last possible exposure I had and over 6 months past the exposures I had in 2008. Would you still recommend a test at 13 weeks? The counselor at the center said I could test for piece of mind but his opinion was, considering the risk i had, I didn't really nee another test. Thanks agian and all of this has definitly opened my eyes!
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Although I fully expect you will test negative again, yes, I do recommend that you re-test at 13 weeks.
Given your history of worrying in the past, it seems prudent to remove any doubts you may have and get that conclusive, final negative result. And yes, I do expect you to continue to test negative. And let's not get into another handwringing back and forth about this. Get busy with other things, re-test in 7 weeks and collect another negative. Period.
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Thanks again and I do appreciate it!
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You're welcome.
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I've posted on this forum before and have experienced scares similar to other people's on this forum.
I had my last HIV test in mid December 2009, about 6 months passed my last unprotected vaginal encounter.
Since then, I've had several unprotected episodes of oral sex and have performed oral sex on several different women, but never any unprotected vaginal/anal sex.
I've had several colds the last few months, including one in april and may back to back. Naturally, the HIV jitters have set in. Just to make sure, I have nothing to worry about right? No need for another HIV test?
Thanks in advance.
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Please do not start a new thread every time you have another question or thought - regardless if you think your questions are related to each other or not. It helps us to help you when you keep all your thoughts or questions in one thread and it helps other readers to follow the discussion. Additional threads will be merged.
If you cannot find your thread, click on the "Show own posts" link in the left-hand column of any forum page, under your name.
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EN, I've merged your threads. Please follow our rule and keep all of your entries in this same thread.
You've been coming here long enough to know that the only confirmed risks for the sexual transmission of HIV are unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse. You were not at risk with anything you are reporting about oral sex.
Colds are absolutely not an HIV specific happening. Nor is the presence or the absence of symptoms the way to know about HIV status accurately. If you ever have a real risk only getting an HIV test at 13 weeks will give you that answer.
But you have not had a risk so there's no need for testing nor for any further concern on your part. Get on with your life. And use condoms everytime for intercourse.