POZ Community Forums
HIV Prevention and Testing => Do I Have HIV? => Topic started by: stupidmistake on October 16, 2006, 05:55:34 pm
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ok so I meet this girl at bar. She instantly likes me and just tells me she wants to have sex. So being drunk and all I do it. Anyways we had sex for like 2 and half hours, I used 3 diffrent condoms during the time. I used some sort of lube she had because after like 30 mins the condom got dry kinda. Anyways I really didnt think much of it since I had protected sex. My main concerns here are what if the condom got a slight tear in it and I didnt notice it or also I read certain lubes can make it break easier. We went at it for so long im scared the condom could have torn or something I didnt see, maybe it slipped off a little then looked like it didnt slip off when I pulled out? I also had protected sex with her like 3 hours later after the first time, only for about 10 mins this time. Ok so my concerns are I had sex for like 2 hours and 30 mins, it seemed the condom didnt come off or didnt tear during the whole time. I switched the condom 3 times so it wouldnt tear plus I used lube a few times, it was a very oily type lube that was hard to get off your hands. Anyways im really scared I have messed up this time, I will never have a one night stand again for sure. Im gonna start hunting for a girlfriend right away as this type of activity wil lead to me a diaster soon. So what do you guys think my risk is with such a long session of sex, it was vaginal sex by the way unless I acidentally put it in the wrong hole which is possible since it was dark or could I notice if I put it in the wrong hole? Im pretty sure it was all vaginal, she said she doesnt do anal sex the next morning so I assume it was vaginal. Thanks
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Stupid,
When a condom breaks, it is obvious. You would have noticed. You had protected intercourse and that means you weren't at risk for hiv infection.
You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL STIs together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with a sexually transmitted infection.
Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.
Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.
If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.
Use condoms and avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple.
Ann
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Thanks Ann. My concern is maybe the condom slipped off almost then slipped back on and made it look like it was on still? My other concern was what if it was dark and I stuck it in her anus and thought it was her vaginia? Would there be a noticable diffrence in how it feels from virginia to anus? I thought about this and to not look stupid I just asked her afterwards " have you ever had anal sex?" She said no, I dont do that. But what concerns me is it looked like to me at one point she tried to put my penis in her anus and I said" sorry I dont do that with girls I dont know." She said what are you talking about, im just putting it back in, not that. I dont know though, it felt a little low down to be her vagina, so im a little parinoid maybe we were having anal sex even thought she didnt say so, Ive never had anal so I dont know how it feels or anything. Also it lasted for 2 and half hours, thats alot of time. Thanks for the great response, I hope im not being paranoid but between the duration, lube and possible anal exposure I think I could have a real risk here.
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You had protected sex and you were not at risk. We don't do "what ifs" when making an assessment. You do not need to test.
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thanks rapidrod but how do I not know the condom had a small say bb sized tear somehow. Also what if I went in her anus?
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I just told you we don't do "what ifs". If your condom would have failed, you would have known about it, there would not be any guess work about it.
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But I was really drunk, when I pulled the condom off each time it didnt look broken and came off. Anyways im just saying I might not notice such a small tear you know. Im not trying to neglect you thoughts as I respect your assesment. Im just scared a small tear was possible maybe, is it really that obvious if you have a small tear? Thanks
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Like I've been trying to tell you. It will not be a small tear if the condom were to fail. They are designed in a way that when one fails it will shread. You don't have to guess when one fails.
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thanks rod, I didnt know that. I hope im ok, thanks again
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Ok well, I changed condoms 3 times in a 2hour and half sex session. Each time I changed the condom I had to roll it off and I didnt notice any tears. I did have a soft erection at points but the condom was still on. I didnt see any tears and I had to take the condom off each time I changed it. I did however notice one time my condom at the end of the penis had alot of extra lose latex, like you know, it was loose at the end with alot of extra space but was still on and not broke. Im saying is it possible the condom could have come off during sex then looked like it was on when I pulled out to take the condom off? Im just scared that during the whole 2 and half hours my condom got a small tear or came off alot but then came back on when my erection grew etc? I mean how does one know if he used the condom right or not? It looked ok each three times I took it off, but does that mean the condom was on during the whole sex session? Thanks
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You are worrying needlessly.
When condoms fail it's not a subtle event. If anything had gone wrong during that session you would have known it.
The main thing is that the head of your penis was covered throughout intercourse as it's through the urethra, (and the skin under foreskin if you're not circumcised) that HIV can be transmitted to a man during intercourse.
And you were covered literally and figuratively.
I don't see any need for testing nor for further concern.
Really.
Cheers,
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andy I know what your saying but what if the condom came down so far at one point and slipped off the head then came back on when I pulled out and it looked like the condom was on. I'm not sure if I'm curcumsized or not but I do have a dark ring going around my penis which I read circumsized guys have. so judging from what I saw I had the condom on each three times wheb I pulled out and I had to pull or roll the condom off to get it off. so your saying if the condom was on and covering at least my head each time I pulled out then there is no chance the condom came off or tore but then looked normal when I pulled out? I just think its possible the condom could have slipped off oveer my penis head and then I got harder and the condom went back on? is that possible or is this a needless worry? I'm just scared because over 2 hours is a long time for nothing to go wrong right? thanks for the help man, this is a great site.
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From what you have described you are circumcised. Foreskin usually covers the head of the penis when you are not erect.
Condoms don't slip off and slip back on as in the what ifs your mind is all too busily coming up with right now. They just don't work (or malfunction) that way. Really.
Are there some other circumstances related to this event that are causing you to be so anxious and regretful about it? Because I don't see any basis for HIV concern. At all. Nor any need for testing.
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no, im just scared maybe I didnt see a tear or something since I was drunk. The condom was on each time I pulled it off to change it, so that means theres no possible way I didnt have unsafe sex right? Thanks
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Get it straight. You did NOT have unsafe sex. You did the right thing. Keep using a condom everytime you have intercourse.
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ok and even if it did break the chances of me getting hiv from a one time act even such a long one is low right? Thanks for the help man.
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stupid,
I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep all your additional thoughts or questions in one thread.
If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.
Please also read through the Welcome Thread (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=220.0) so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.
And by the way, you weren't at risk of hiv infection.
Ann
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ok exactly 2 weeks ago I had vaginal sex with a girl for like 2 and half hours. I had a condom on but I had to switch condoms 3 times, im worried the condom came off during sex. Anyways today I feel stuffy, kinda cold and achy... slight headache and just kinda sick feeling. I thought maybe it was possible I caught a cold since thats been going around lately and plus I got soaked the other day and school and it was in the low 50's with a strong wind. I thought about all this but I hear ars symptoms start 2-4 weeks after exposure, its just too much of a conicedence. I havent been sick in a few months, why all of a sudden? I mean I had sex for over 2 hours, something small is bound to tear or go wrong during that long time. Say I didnt have a condom on for sex for 2 hours and the girl had hiv, what would be my risk at such a long duration of sex? Thanks
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Stupid,
This is the second time I've had to merge your threads. Please get with the program and stop starting new threads.
Hiv is a fragile, difficult to transmit virus and more so from a woman to a man. Forget about two hours, my partner and I were together for a year and a half before we discovered my hiv status, without using condoms, and he is still hiv negative. We use condoms now and he is still negative over seven years later. Condoms prevent hiv infection. You would know if one broke.
Please go re-read the replies you've already had. None of the answers are going to change no matter how many times you ask the same questions.
Ann
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Ann im so sorry, I forgot.... it wont happen again for sure. Let me ask you though have you and your husband ever had unprotected sex for over 2 hours without a condom? Thats what concerns me most, such a long time for the virus to find its way into me you know in a one time event. Thanks for the reply.
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stupid,
You used a condom - or at least that's what you said when you first came here with this concern. If the condom broke during those two hours, you would have known as it is very obvious when they break. You wouldn't be wondering and speculating, you'd KNOW. You were not at risk. Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.
Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.
If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.
Use condoms and avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple.
Ann
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Ann thanks, the condom didnt appear broken and was on each time I took it off. I wanted to know though did you and your husband ever have unprotected sex for over 2 hours? Thats my main concern right now, such a long duration would increase my chances of transmission if something did go wrong.
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I wanted to know though did you and your husband ever have unprotected sex for over 2 hours?
Stupid,
To be honest, that's none of your business. I've shared as much of my sex life as I'm prepared to. You have no right to further details.
You used a condom and now it's time to get over it.
Ann
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sorry Ann. I will take your word for a low transmission rate. Thanks for the help.
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Hey guys, ok first off im not sure if anything happened. Maybe this is just me being paranoid but I do not know. I was at a party and a gay guy said I want to F you with a sorta evil look on his face, so anyways I just kinda laughed and walked away. But the gay dude is a RA at our dorms and he has all the keys and everything so its worrying me. Anyways I had about a pint and half of whisky that night and I dont remember anything at all really 45 mins after he said that. The only thing I remember is waking up in my bed in the middle of the night throwing up, I didnt see anyone around but then I blacked back out. Now im not sure if I had too much to drink that night or if my drink was drugged or what. But I just figured I had too much to drink that night but I got to thinking what if that dude drugged me and did something. So my question is what if he did, if worse came to worse and he was infected with hiv and I was the receptive dude with no protection what would my odds be of getting hiv? It seems like if this happened I would have remember something or fought him off because im by no means gay. Its just scary that he said that to me then I blacked out a hour later. I mean I had alot to drink that night and have blacked out before, but still im worried. Would I be sore or something the next morning if something did happen? Anyways ive been worried about this now for a while, but then I tell myself dude theres no way,lol. But what would the odds be if worse came to worse, thanks.
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Hey guys, ok first off im not sure if anything happened. Maybe this is just me being paranoid but I do not know. I was at a party and a gay guy said I want to F you with a sorta evil look on his face, so anyways I just kinda laughed and walked away. But the gay dude is a RA at our dorms and he has all the keys and everything so its worrying me. Anyways I had about a pint and half of whisky that night and I dont remember anything at all really 45 mins after he said that. The only thing I remember is waking up in my bed in the middle of the night throwing up, I didnt see anyone around but then I blacked back out. Now im not sure if I had too much to drink that night or if my drink was drugged or what. But I just figured I had too much to drink that night but I got to thinking what if that dude drugged me and did something. So my question is what if he did, if worse came to worse and he was infected with hiv and I was the receptive dude with no protection what would my odds be of getting hiv? It seems like if this happened I would have remember something or fought him off because im by no means gay. Its just scary that he said that to me then I blacked out a hour later. I mean I had alot to drink that night and have blacked out before, but still im worried. Would I be sore or something the next morning if something did happen? Anyways ive been worried about this now for a while, but then I tell myself dude theres no way,lol. But what would the odds be if worse came to worse, thanks.
Stupid,
Keep all your additional thoughts, questions and comments in your original thread. (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=4849.0) This helps us to follow your story and give you the most accurate advice.
If you can't find you original thread click on the red link I've provided above. Alternatively you can click on the "show own posts" link in the left hand column of any forums page.
Your questions will not be answered until you return to your original thread.
MtD
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I do not understand, this is a totally different situation. My orginal thread was like a year ago wasnt it?
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Hey guys, ok first off im not sure if anything happened. Maybe this is just me being paranoid but I do not know. I was at a party and a gay guy said I want to F you with a sorta evil look on his face, so anyways I just kinda laughed and walked away. But the gay dude is a RA at our dorms and he has all the keys and everything so its worrying me. Anyways I had about a pint and half of whisky that night and I dont remember anything at all really 45 mins after he said that. The only thing I remember is waking up in my bed in the middle of the night throwing up, I didnt see anyone around but then I blacked back out. Now im not sure if I had too much to drink that night or if my drink was drugged or what. But I just figured I had too much to drink that night but I got to thinking what if that dude drugged me and did something. So my question is what if he did, if worse came to worse and he was infected with hiv and I was the receptive dude with no protection what would my odds be of getting hiv? It seems like if this happened I would have remember something or fought him off because im by no means gay. Its just scary that he said that to me then I blacked out a hour later. I mean I had alot to drink that night and have blacked out before, but still im worried. Would I be sore or something the next morning if something did happen? Anyways ive been worried about this now for a while, but then I tell myself dude theres no way,lol. But what would the odds be if worse came to worse, thanks.
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Stupid,
Thank you for returning to your original thread.
You had too much to drink and you're concerned that your gay Residential Adviser drugged you and raped you?
Let's cut the crap, shall we?
You got drunk and copped one up the bum from another guy. Happens all the time. Just because you might have had sex with another male doesn't make you gay.
Unprotected anal sex is a relatively high risk in terms of HIV transmission. Since you can't remember clearly what went down (or up as the case may be) it's best to presume that you need to have an HIV antibody test. The test will need to be performed 12-13 weeks from the date of this sexual encounter.
If you're getting so drunk you're blacking out and having sexual encounters you wouldn't normally have you may need to think about your alcohol and drug use.
MtD
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matty your way off base, but I could see how it would appear that way. I swear on my own life I have no honest to god clue what happened during that period, I promise you that. I also swear to you I do not care how drunk I am I would never touch another guy, the thought of it makes me want to puke. My concern here is two things:
One he drugged my drink and raped me when I was unconsious
Two I got so drunk and was unconsious he raped me
I promise you though I would never ever even remotely consider touching a guy, and I also promise im 100% sure I do not remember anything at all and the only reason the rape thing came to my mind was because the guy said I want to fuck you. Now with that being said I could just be two things happened at once, I had to much to drink and he just made a remark saying he wanted to fuck me. I do not know what happened, I asked a girl if she saw me come home and she said I came home with a group of girls and guys. I do not remember going home, I do not remember opening my door or anything. Its just scary that I do not remember anything at all, nothing! So I did not have sex with a guy as far as I know, its that one remark he said that made me get scared something could have happened. So with that being said if something some how did happen do you think we are looking at like a 1-50 chance if the guy did have hiv? Thanks
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Let's get something straight. If you would have had anal sex with a guy you sure in the hell would have know it the next morning. So again you did not have a risk.
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How would I know rod? Its so frustrating not to remember anything, would I know if I was on top or bottom? I do not remember even one speck of the night except for me throwing up, but at the same time surely I would remember having sex with a girl or a guy. For all I know I could have went and gotton a prostitute or something, but its what the guy said that bothers me. I thought I could handle a pint and half, I usually do not black out with that I dont think, but then again I had not drank for 2 months before that which is what might have caused it. My first thought was I should have not black out from a pint and half, then I said thats odd. Then I said what if my drink was drugged or something, then I started thinking back and I remembered what that gay guy said and I was like oh crap, what if he drugged me drink. But then I thought no dude he wouldnt have told you he wants to fuck you if he was planning on raping you probably, but theres some messed up people in this world so im not sure.
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Since you are not gay and have never had anal sex it would have hurt like hell in the morning. Unless, you use toys or cucumbers, then you might not know the next morning.
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Doesn't matter if it is a different situation. You need to keep all your thoughts and concerns in your orginal thread.
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No toys man, im not gay. But what if I was on top, would I hurt then? I thought how could I not remember having sex? Then I thought dude you dont remember crap, but surely I would remember something that big. Ok so if I was on bottom I would be sore, but what about being on top? But what if he like tried to make me on top when I was out of it or something, how would I know?
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Dude if you were that damn drunk you wouldn't have been a top. You wouldn't have been able to keep an erection.
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yes I have a condition froma medication I took that messes up my erections, its near im possible for me to get one when im drunk unless I have a hot girl like on me, but if it was a guy I know I would not have one simply because im not attracted to guys. But my concern here is what if I was flaccid and he tried to take it and stick it in him or something. I could still get hiv that way right? God, this sucks....im worried about something that probably never happened anyways....if I could only remember something...that was like 4 months ago and none of my memory has come back. I guess its gone forever. But what if he drugged my drink, I felt kinda funny the next day...like dizzy...but not typical hang over dizzy.
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Now come on you know that you can't stick a flaccid penis into anyone. The only thing you can do with a flaccid penis is put it in your pants. Like I told you before we don't do "What if" questions.
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ok so bottom line is if ive never used any toys for the anal area or had anal sex I would be sore? Are you certain about this? Maybe everyones different? So basically if he raped me anally I would feel it?
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You would have known the next day for a fact, if you would have been penetrated anally.
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well thats good to know, most likely nothing happened then. Thanks alot for the help man, I see that I would have known now probably since you said it would hurt and I wouldnt get an erection with a guy. Thanks for the help man.
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Actually Stupid, Rod said you wouldn't get an erection if you were that drunk.
MtD
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I've merged your threads. Please keep all of your entries in this same thread. That's our rule.
And if you look over the previous entries and responses you may see there's more kinship than you imagined between then and now. In both instances you are caught up in WHAT IF situations. To me that signals more about issues with sexual activity in general rather than any HIV risky behavior specifically. But you can decide whether that evaluation fits you or not.
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Stupid,
With that homophobic attitude of yours, I wouldn't be surprised if your RA said "fuck you", without the "I want to" attached.
It sounds to me like you're suffering from nothing more than an over active imagination.
I rejected the new account you tried to create last night. Don't try that again or you'll be banned.
Ann
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Hi,
so I had a inncident a few days ago where this girl grab my hand and her finger nails cut me and left a gash that was bleeding. The cut was not deep, but it took the top layer of my skin off any was bleeding.
The girl then licked her finger and put it on m cut to stop the bleeding I think....or she might have kissed it. Im not certain because I was really drunk, but either way she licked her finger and pressed on my cut to stop the bleeding or she kiss the cut.
Anyways so im wondering how big my risk is to get hiv if she has it. Thanks
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You are at no risk of HIV exposure from this incident. HIV is transmitted through unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse. For all the information you need about HIV transmission please go to our Welcome Thread .
(http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=220.0)
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thanks for your reply but isnt the hiv virus in saliva? Let me also let it be known that I was bleeding while this happened! Yes the cut was very fresh as it only happened seconds before she either kissed it or licked her finger and pressed on the cut.
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Salvia is an extremely potent inhibtor of HIV. You are not at risk from this incident.
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thanks for the reply but why is it then possible to get hiv from oral sex? Doesnt this pose the same risk? I mean pretty much its like she gave me oral sex since it was spit entering my blood stream. I dont see how you say I have no risk. Thanks
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It is not possible to get HIV from receiving oral sex (getting a blowjob) or from performing or receiving cunnilingus (going down on a female).
Getting HIV from giving oral sex (swallowing semen) is theoretical, and has yet to be conclusively documented. This is detailed in our LESSONS on transmission, which I urge you to read.
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Further to JK's informed response, there have been longtern studies conducted of sero-discordant couples, both gay and straight. They had lots of mutual unprotected oral sex and only protected vaginal and anal sex. The results have been that not a single sero-negative partner has become infected.
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Stupid,
I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep all your additional thoughts or questions in one thread.
If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.
Please also read through the Welcome Thread (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=220.0) so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.
Ann
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Hi,
I fooled around with a girl a few nights ago and I briefly kissed her vagina for around 2 seconds. It was above the lip area and I dont even think I kissed the lips at all. But heres what scares me. She told me later that she cut her vagina earlier while shaving.
So if I kissed this cut and did not know it what would my risk of hiv infection be? What if I had a crack in my lip or something too?
Thanks
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Stupid,
I'VE MERGED YOUR THREADS FOR THE VERY LAST TIME, EVER. If you come back here again with a new thread, you'll be permanently banned. We just don't seem to be getting through to you AT ALL about ANYTHING.
Once again, you're worrying needlessly. If she had cut herself so badly that she was bleeding heavily enough to cause concern, she would have been in an emergency room seeking medical treatment, not spreading her legs and letting her kiss you where she'd cut herself.
Don't bother coming back with any whatiffs about this latest NO RISK situation. Re-read your entire thread until what we've been telling you for two and a half years now sinks in to your brain.
If you read the Welcome Thread (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=220.0) before posting like you're supposed to, you will have read the following posting guideline:
Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.
Please consider yourself warned for the LAST time.
Ann
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wow im sorry. i did not know you had to use the same thread for totally different questions. So im sorry again.
You really think this is no risk? What if she cut herself one hour before and was still bleeding while I kissed the area? It was dark so I could not see if I kissed it while bleeding, thanks
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Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.
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Hi,
im going to make this short for you guys :) I basically only have kissed this girl, fingered her and sleep naked next to her. Well I always have my boxers on and she is naked. But my boxers have an opening and when I have an erection my penis sticks out of it sometimes.
So basically I have dry humped her but I dont think my penis ever touched her vagina. But heres where my worries start. What if at night time my penis slipped into her vagina and I did not even know it? But it seems like there would be plenty of couples where the girl slept naked at night and the guy with boxers right?
Im saying, wouldnt this be an hiv risk if my penis slipped into her vagina at night when we are just cuddling and sleeping next to each other. I mean sometimes she wraps her legs around me in the middle of the night and I wake up but dont notice my penis on her vagina. But in theory this could happen in the middle of the night where my penis slips into her vagina when we sleep in the right position and I would not even know it.
Or what if when we dry humped my penis for a second touched her vagina unprotected? Am I worrying about nothing? This seems like a logical worry because it could happen easily it seems. Am I at risk? Thanks
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Stupid,
I warned you last spring that if I had to merge your threads again, I would permanently ban you. I'm keeping my promise.
Once again you come to us with a NO RISK incident. You'd know if you fucked this person and I'm quite sure you realise that yourself. Get a grip and get yourself into counselling. There's nothing further we can do for you here and quite frankly, I'm tired of talking to a brick wall.
Ann