Oh the twisted web we weave....

[Jnm594]

I'm not sure if this should go in the "Activism" thread or not but I just wanted to get this off my chest...

A brief history,

I started volunteering at my ASO several months ago after I started feeling better. More for myself to give me a reason to get off the mountain than anything and started a food drive at my church for donations for the ASO's food bank. That was going very well and I was dropping in and out to make sure it was stocked, clean, etc... And then a couple of months ago they hired a volunteer coordinator with some grant money.

The first encounter I had with this woman was a phone call requesting a meeting. I asked her what it was about, she didn't really give me any idea and I told her that I would be in on one of my two days off as usual and if she wanted to sit down we could talk then since I do work and am unavailable on certain days. That is when she used a very bitchy tone and told me that I was to work around her schedule. Well that went over like a fart in church at High Mass but I agreed.

At our first meeting she informed me that she was going to close the food bank and have it open two days a week in the afternoons. Being my shy self I told her that was crap that it was the responsibility of the agency to serve the clients not for them to "work around her schedule" because her schedule was irrelevant. After she gave me a withering look she informed me that she had "heard about me". When I asked her what that meant she said that she had heard I was "handful". Well that just rubbed me the wrong way.........I think my comment was along the lines of "You stay out of my way and I'll stay out of yours". Hey, battling crazy drag queens and power lesbians for years has taught me a thing or two. LOL. She then requested that I fill out her new little form for volunteers that also required references!!! So I filled in three close friends and she then asked me what they did, who they were, etc. I just blew it off because two of the three are on the BOD of this ASO and I assumed that she would figure that out. Well she didn't because I saw one of them at church and he mentioned that she had called him and told me that she asked him if he knew what the organization did? ROFL! He just rolled his eyes and shook his head. Some people....

So we avoided each other for a couple of weeks and it was a little tense, then several weeks ago I was helping a client that comes in about once a month in the food bank since they live in a very rural area and really have no transportation, we were going over meal plans, what they have at home, etc, etc, and the clincher was when I asked what they need that wasn't at the food bank. FYI, I get store cards from people for donations and keep them aside and then if a client needs Milk, OJ, perishables, etc. I'll get it for them because the orders from the local county food bank is pretty much staples, not perishables. And both case managers know all about this and will ask me to pick up certain items for specific clients so things don't go bad or I'll slip one for say $10 to a client so they can get what they need. No biggie I run by Safeway every week. This is money that I collect and that does not affect any funding and I know This because I checked with both of the case managers and the accountant to make sure do everyone was on the same page. So this heifer proceeds to scold me in front of the client that I need to turn over all of them to her so she can decide if the items are necessary or not and then she turned around and told the client that they were taking too much food and they needed to put some of it back. Now this is where it gets interesting....I took a few deep breaths so I wouldn't wind up in jail, told myself, Fuck It, got the client calmed down, he actually started to cry,  and went into her office.

Honestly I did try to remain calm that day but if your from the south you'll understand when I say I did eventually show my ass. I told her that I got the money, I had cleared this with her superiors and the BOD, That if she wanted to fight with me to bring it on, but if I ever, ever, and I repeat ever, saw her disrespect a client in my presence that I would slap the shit out of her, looked her dead in the eye and asked if we understood each other. She got all meek and said that she was sorry. I told her the apology needed to go the the client who was crying in the back because it's hard enough to ask for help and that no one needs to feel like they are begging for help, and the last fucking time I checked she was not the one doing anything to make sure that food was there or what the clients needed. Then she got all teary and said that she did understand what the clients were going through because she had just gotten over the flu and didn't feel good herself. All I can say is that God was doing for me what I couldn't do for myself because I did not launch myself at her. But I really, really, REALLY, just wanted to clean her clock.

Well I got the client taken care of and went home. I was still fuming that Sunday when I saw three of the five members of the BOD at church and pulled each one aside, gave and abbreviated version and asked when the next meeting was and what was the protocol to file a complaint, go to the meeting, write a letter, etc. Well I guess word got back because the next week she couldn't stop kissing my ass so I finally had to tell her to leave the food bank alone and just go do her damn job.

So this went on for a few weeks and some clients were bitching about the computer that they can use to get online, and it really is a piece of crap, so I told them that I would hunt around and call some people I know in the business community and get some computers for the clients use only and to give me a couple of months but I'd get it taken care of. So when she found out this heifer proceeds to come into the food bank and tell me that it is her job to do that, WTF!, and to give her the names of the people I was going to call. I told her no. She asked why and I told her no again. She than demanded them or she would dismiss me for "insubordination". I think that time I actually scared her because when I told her that I didn't work for her, didn't answer to her, didn't give a rat's ass what she wanted, and would not provide my friends phone numbers to an uptight, passive aggressive heifer, and if she didn't like it then she could stick her head even farther up her ass. Call me the essence of goodness and light!LOL. FYI-Still waiting at this time for the BOD meeting which was actually scheduled for last week.

So about two weeks later I was shooting the breeze with some clients, I think a lot of them come in just for company, I'll make a pot of coffee, bring in some cookies, and everybody meets there to get groceries and shoot the shit with everyone else. I have made an effort to make everyone feel welcome and at home. So anyway, I'm sitting there doing the orders and we are having our weekly "coffee clatch"and she breezed in and wanted to know what all the noise was and a client piped up and said "It's a party and you weren't invited",  I about spit out my coffee! LOL! She got this bitchy look and told everyone that they needed to leave that she had things to do and they were disturbing her peace and quiet, Now her office was several doors down so one client happened to mention that she could close her door, Gotta love that old queen!! No need to tell you how that one went, let's just say that I gave everyone there the Board Presidents cell number and told them to give him a call.........

Oh and did I mention when talking to a client about our latest numbers in private she was listening outside the door and came in and asked what a cd4 count was! Christ....I told her that if she was going to work in an HIV/AIDS service organization to read a goddamn brochure they are up at the front desk, did you happen to notice the wall of literature that you walk by every day and that she probably should review her employment agreement regarding privacy. Bitch.

So the outcome of this was prior to the Board meeting, her position was eliminated, effective immediately. With the run in's that I had with her I have no doubt there were other things that were worse, especially from a liability aspect with client confidentiality, procedure, protocol, dealings with staff, etc.

The lesson I have learned is that I, and we all, need to make sure that those in a position to assist actually do it. And to fight like hell when needed and hold them accountable, these services affect people's lives and if you want to help great, if your just looking for a paycheck and a line on your resume, then piss off.

The Executive Director and both case managers came to me and told me how much they appreciated what I do, apologized on behalf of the organization for her behavior, and asked me to if I would be a client advocate. Go figure...LOL. I just told them that as long as I could I'll fight like hell for those who can't.

Oh and the three computers will be installed this month for the new client computer bank! And guess who is now in charge of the food bank and up for a board position next year! Maybe someday I'll learn to keep my big mouth shut!!!

[Longislander]

You go boy!! Excellent story-awesome outcome!

[Queen Tokelove]

Great read, the bitch got what she deserved. I am wondering how she got the job in the first place if she didn't know what a cd4 was. I assume you accepted the job! I wish I had someone in my ASO like you. Don't get me wrong, they are great people but you remind me of the case manager I just lost last year in an airplane crash. When there were months I was in a bind for food, he use to slide me the gift certificates to Quality. Now I have this new case manager who doesn't seem to have a clue and I really hate talking to her.

[poet]

Ah, it sounds all too familiar.   What struck me, before coffee, was that there seemed to be no plan, no flow chart of who reports to whom, who is responsible to whom, etc.  Fortunately you were able to force a flow chart which made sense on your own, but it is the responsibility of the Board of Directors/Executive Director to make sure that things flow properly and, odd though it may sound, in fairness to 'the woman,' it didn't sound to me as though anyone had bothered to create her position based on need and make sure, before setting her loose, that she grasped how things were supposed to work and where her 'place' in the flow was, hence the extreme tension between her and everyone else.  I do not, however, excuse her lack of knowledge about hiv and faux pas on the BOD/ED.  Congratulations on clearing things out.  Perhaps you can sit down and formalise what you do, why you do it, when you do it, etc. so that even if you were out with the flu, someone could step in and do what you are doing?  Best, Win

[bear60]

That was an awsome outcome.  I kept waiting to read that you had been canned or kicked out.

[ACinKC]

THAT STORY WAS AWESOME!

YOU GO!

[ademas]

Excellent!!
Good for you.
They're lucky to have you.

[Christine]

You are fantastic!! Your ASO is so lucky to have you advocating and fighting for those who can't.

I'd like to smack that bitch for making that person cry.

Christine

[Lisa]

God/dess bless you! I really enjoyed reading your post!
I have a friend in Florida who is having a hell of a time getting his new ASO to call him(or give any response). He has become fearful of the fact that his worker is ignoring his pleas.
It is heartening to read about people who really do give a shit about those of us in need.
I could only hope that there is a blacklist for ASO's of people to AVOID bringing into an ASO position.

[Jnm594]

I could only hope that there is a blacklist for ASO's of people to AVOID bringing into an ASO position

. If only! I will say that there are a lot of concerned, caring, dedicated people at a lot of them, my own ASO included. But people need to stand up to those who aren't, and unfortunately there are probably more than a few. So kick ass and take names for that blacklist!!

I do it now because someday if I need someone to be there for me then that debt is paid in advance. Plus it helps to get your blood pumping every so often. I have always loved a good fight, but now instead of getting into honky tonk bar fights with wranglers and jarheads, I just save my energy for bullies who pick on those who can't defend themselves. And I'd be lying if I said I don't get some sort of satisfaction out of it. Never been reserved, meek and mild or a slave to the pc police or protocol. I'm just a hothead redneck who happens to be gay and HIV+ and still likes a good rumble now and then. Just no bottles, fists, or guns these days! I have found that determination (i.e. stubborness or pigheadedness take your pick) in just getting the job done has its own rewards. But sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do...

And ACinKC......ROFLMFAO!!!!! Gotta love that pic!!!!

[ACinKC]

Where did my picture go?

Edited to say.... NEVERMIND!  Computer was freezing up.  Must have been drinking a cyber slurpee too fast.

[Boo Radley]

With the teensy exception of threatening to slap her (if I were going to slap her she'd get no warning)  I can't think of a more professional way to handle this uber-idiot but I must ask, who the fuck hired her??

This person sounds like all the plagues of Egypt rolled into 1.   It's overly officious assholes like her who give some ASO's a bad reputation.  People who power-trip make me sick and I'm glad I don't deal with them very often.  And she didn't even know what a CD4 count was... amazing!

Boo

[Iggy]

.

[tsw923]

ROFLMAO --PRICELESS!!! 

I especially like the part about having the FLU and understanding about not feeling well...

Congratulations to you -- it sounds like you are just what your clients need!

TSW