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Off Topic Forums => Off Topic Forum => Topic started by: spoiled on February 16, 2008, 04:53:14 pm

Title: Is my "straight" stepson curious??
Post by: spoiled on February 16, 2008, 04:53:14 pm
My stepson has 2 new friends that are both gay that he's been hanging out with a lot, he has a girlfriend but sometimes dtiches her to hang out with them. he's 21 years old and latino (only adding this incase knowing culture could help), is he curious or just happened to find two guys who are cool that are gay (the two gays are
not a couple).  His father, my husband, doesnt understand why he would be spending so much time with them if he wasnt either gay or curious.  Is this odd for a straight young man of his age?
Title: Re: Is my "straight" stepson curious??
Post by: Miss Philicia on February 16, 2008, 05:10:09 pm
1) I'm not sure anyone could answer this except your stepson
2) Does it matter if he is?
3) Younger people in this day and age often are not as uptight about such things even if he's actually straight, unlike your/my generation was (assuming we're the same age or thereabouts)
4) In case he's about to veer outside of the closet make sure he has condoms and knows how to use them anyway, but I'm sure you know that
Title: Re: Is my "straight" stepson curious??
Post by: spoiled on February 16, 2008, 05:19:27 pm
It doesnt matter to me if he is, I already have gay family and friends, but his father wanted to know if this is a sign. I told him to ask his son but i think he thinks his son wouldnt admit it right now even if he is curious so thought maybe someone who's gay would have insight.  i also told my husband that our generation (gen x) was even more conservative than kids nowadays, even though we thought we were the most open minded liberals ever.
Title: Re: Is my "straight" stepson curious??
Post by: Matty the Damned on February 16, 2008, 05:24:07 pm
Well Spoiled,

I'm gay and have many straight friends. Few if any of them have ever expressed an interest in taking a Stroll along the Pink Promenade.

My advice? Well there's not much you can do. It sounds to Matty the Damned like the problem (if there even is a problem) is with Dad not Junior.

MtD
Title: Re: Is my "straight" stepson curious??
Post by: spoiled on February 16, 2008, 05:32:58 pm
thanks MtD. I think the father is very anxious about it  :-\
Title: Re: Is my "straight" stepson curious??
Post by: BreakerOneNine on February 16, 2008, 06:52:54 pm
I am gay as well....with a lot of straight friends...I dont see where this is anything unusual....I think labels are very overrated these days...maybe the 2 gays guys are curious to what it is like to be straight and your stepson is showing them some tricks of the trade ;D...people now days are a lot more open-minded.
Title: Re: Is my "straight" stepson curious??
Post by: mjmel on February 17, 2008, 04:30:27 am
To address the question you posed, maybe it is a little odd but today's generation (as all new generations before) challenges the preconceived concepts and accepted norms. It's hard to peg him with a label because of this tendency of many of the younger generation. Maybe he's gay; maybe he's bisexual. As someone pointed out--perhaps just curious.
I can only add that he cannot be turned gay, by any means. Anita Bryan, as well as others, once claimed we were out there recruiting young men to be homosexuals. We gays had a good laugh about it. The absurdity of it all.
In our youth we befriend people that we hang with for awhile and then we move on as our personal life develops. Likewise, we hang with people who we have something to offer that is of interest and it's not always relating to sex.
On being curious: I am 58 now and I have rambled around this country a bit in my younger days. I remember of several straight guy encounters. If memory serves me correctly, they were encounters not lifestyle commitments.

Mike

(i.e.: avatars, like my current one, can be just playful things; not necessarily gender identities.)
Title: Re: Is my "straight" stepson curious??
Post by: Winiroo on February 17, 2008, 12:44:37 pm
My son is 18 and he has some friends who are gay. Its not as much an issue with many of the youth now adays as it was when most of us where that age.
He could care less what a persons sexual preference is as long as they aren't physically doing anything to him that he doesn't approve of.
I imagine that these gay friends of his are people he enjoys hanging out with because they either have interests in common and or are really nice people.

Wendy
Title: Re: Is my "straight" stepson curious??
Post by: Peter6836 on February 17, 2008, 12:56:22 pm
My son has had gay friends all his life. He lives with his friend who is gay they have known each other since they were 5, they are know 28. My son is not gay at all. He once told me he was curious, but it just did not feel right. So having gay friends do not make anyone gay. Besides if he is lets just wish him happiness. It does take people different amounts of time to realize what their sexual orientation is. I would just encourage an open dialogue and a feeling of ab soulute tolerance and love. Let him find out who he is in his own time and let him share that as he feels fit.
Peter
Title: Re: Is my "straight" stepson curious??
Post by: fearless on February 17, 2008, 09:07:47 pm
Gay, curious or partying (ie doing drugs).
Title: Re: Is my "straight" stepson curious??
Post by: SteveA on February 19, 2008, 05:47:54 pm
Gay, curious or partying (ie doing drugs).

See now that's a mindset that comes from our age. Kids these day's just are not as judgemental about gay people as we were. Just because someone has gay friends doesn't mean they're gay, curious or on drugs. Do you hear just how silly that sounds when you say it out loud? Maybe he just like them for who they are.
Title: Re: Is my "straight" stepson curious??
Post by: fearless on February 19, 2008, 06:18:10 pm
It's not my mindset, just my opinion.
My friends and I have never been judgemental about gay people.
When someone ditches their girlfriend to hang out with his mates there is usually something going on. Just sayin...
Title: Re: Is my "straight" stepson curious??
Post by: Matty the Damned on February 19, 2008, 06:25:16 pm
Kids these day's just are not as judgemental about gay people as we were.

Bullshit. (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=19103.0)

MtD
Title: Re: Is my "straight" stepson curious??
Post by: Winiroo on February 20, 2008, 10:48:58 am
Kids these day's just are not as judgemental about gay people as we were.

Bullshit. (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=19103.0)

MtD

In general...

Of course there are still tons of jackasses and dickshits who get off to hurting people because they are different.
That likely will be the case till the end of time.
Title: Re: Is my "straight" stepson curious??
Post by: SteveA on February 20, 2008, 08:17:33 pm
It's not my mindset, just my opinion.
My friends and I have never been judgmental about gay people.
When someone ditches their girlfriend to hang out with his mates there is usually something going on. Just sayin...

Maybe he's having more fun with his gay friends than his girlfriend. Maybe he's not interested in a serious relationship at his age. Maybe there are a million other reasons why he prefers  the company of his friends. That doesn't mean there's anything sexual, drug related or intrinsically gay about him.

I'm sorry you can't see how your statement was indeed a judgment. But pegging the boy's behavior with three words with no actual knowledge of what's truly going on is indeed a judgmental thing to say. If I had a dollar for every time someone says "My Friends" and "Gay" in the same sentence trying to show how non-judgmental they are I wouldn't need to buy lottery tickets!
Title: Re: Is my "straight" stepson curious??
Post by: SteveA on February 20, 2008, 08:18:16 pm
In general...

Of course there are still tons of jackasses and dick shits who get off to hurting people because they are different.
That likely will be the case till the end of time.

Thanks and very true! When I was growing up there were NO "Gay & Straight Student Alliances" to fall back on in school. The very fact that there are these days tells me that kids today are more open minded about it in general than they were in my day. There will always be the assholes and jackasses who aren't open minded. We have proof of that right here on the forums. But as a whole, I do think people are learning.
Title: Re: Is my "straight" stepson curious??
Post by: Mouse on February 20, 2008, 09:14:07 pm
Thanks and very true! When I was growing up there were NO "Gay & Straight Student Alliances" to fall back on in school. The very fact that there are these days tells me that kids today are more open minded about it in general than they were in my day. There will always be the assholes and jackasses who aren't open minded. We have proof of that right here on the forums. But as a whole, I do think people are learning.


Yes, people are learning, but learning and giving a shit are two entirely different things. We still live in a culture where it's very taboo for one to bring up homosexuality while in highschool, whether the students are tolerant or not. And that's what the problem is.

It because quite clear by the time I was a sophomore who the 'gay kids' were, myself included, and still people spoke about it in the back of the lunchroom or while lounging against the walls in the lobby in hushed tones.

There has never, ever been a time in my experience with my (gay) peers while in high school where an accusation of one being gay wasn't opposed with a forceful 'NO'. Hell, I was utterly positive some of the kids that were denying it were (trust me). But there is a reason why it's still a very secretive matter and why hardly anyone at that age is willing to fess up. We all know what happens to the open gay kids. Best case scenario in almost all instances is they become social pariahs.
Title: Re: Is my "straight" stepson curious??
Post by: fearless on February 20, 2008, 09:58:48 pm
You are too funny, Steve.

The poster asked for our opinions and I gave mine.

Before passing judgement on me perhaps you should learn a little about me.
Now get off my case, please.
Title: Re: Is my "straight" stepson curious??
Post by: thunter34 on February 20, 2008, 10:20:43 pm
i agree completely with steve (fearless).

Title: Re: Is my "straight" stepson curious??
Post by: SteveA on February 20, 2008, 10:21:29 pm
You are too funny, Steve.

Before passing judgement on me perhaps you should learn a little about me.

I'm not passing judgment on you fearless. I'm passing judgment on what you said. My best friend to this day is a straight guy who during his first marriage spent a HELL of a lot of time with me instead of his wife. I can assure you that there was no curiosity, sex or drugs involved! I was best man in his marriage in fact.

We just had things in common that we shared a lot of fun doing like scuba diving, cycling and computer games just to name a few. To say that the only reason a straight guy would want to hang out with a gay guy over his "Girlfriend" is because he's curious, gay or high was not only judgmental in my view it was highly offensive. Being gay doesn't mean my life, or any other gay persons life for that matter, revolves around sex or drugs!
Title: Re: Is my "straight" stepson curious??
Post by: thunter34 on February 20, 2008, 10:31:01 pm
Being gay doesn't mean my life, or any other gay persons life for that matter, revolves around sex or drugs!



Mine does.
Title: Re: Is my "straight" stepson curious??
Post by: Miss Philicia on February 20, 2008, 10:32:19 pm
har... saw that one coming
Title: Re: Is my "straight" stepson curious??
Post by: Matty the Damned on February 20, 2008, 10:34:43 pm
Being gay doesn't mean my life, or any other gay persons life for that matter, revolves around sex or drugs!

In that case one wonders what meaning SteveA's life has . . .

MtD
Title: Re: Is my "straight" stepson curious??
Post by: BreakerOneNine on February 20, 2008, 10:35:29 pm
I was out in High School and I graduated in 94....I had very little problems with people messing with me....I think kids are A LOT more tolerable and open minded now...I had plenty of straight friends in school and still do now....of course there are still jack asses but overall gays are a lot more accepted in schools...I think gays are a lot more accepted in general.
Title: Re: Is my "straight" stepson curious??
Post by: SteveA on February 20, 2008, 10:38:48 pm
I was out in High School and I graduated in 94....I had very little problems with people messing with me....I think kids are A LOT more tolerable and open minded now...I had plenty of straight friends in school and still do now....of course there are still jack asses but overall gays are a lot more accepted in schools...I think gays are a lot more accepted in general.

I graduated in 81 and my senior year several folks came out without much fuss but there wasn't nearly the acceptance that exists these days. Sure it's not perfect yet and I doubt prejudice will ever completely disappear. It even exists in our own community.
Title: Re: Is my "straight" stepson curious??
Post by: Mouse on February 20, 2008, 10:42:23 pm
I graduated in 81 and my senior year several folks came out without much fuss but there wasn't nearly the acceptance that exists these days. Sure it's not perfect yet and I doubt prejudice will ever completely disappear. It even exists in our own community.


Of course it's improved, but it's still completely unacceptable. Saying something like you 'doubt prejudice will ever completely disappear' does nothing but perpetuate it.

It almost sounds like you're taking what still continues to happen and making it sound like adequate enough progress.

It's not.
Title: Re: Is my "straight" stepson curious??
Post by: BreakerOneNine on February 20, 2008, 10:50:36 pm

Of course it's improved, but it's still completely unacceptable. Saying something like you 'doubt prejudice will ever completely disappear' does nothing but perpetuate it.

It almost sounds like you're taking what still continues to happen and making it sound like adequate enough progress.

It's not.

I dont know how you can say it is completely unacceptable.....It wasnt completely unacceptable when I was in school....so you are saying it is getting worse instead of better?....I think it is just the opposite.
Title: Re: Is my "straight" stepson curious??
Post by: next2u on February 20, 2008, 10:56:20 pm
any faghag will tell you, us gay foks are fun! maybe your stepson caught on to this. relationships can be a pain in the ass. the pussy/ass is great, but the rest of the bs doesnt hold up to a night of videogames, pool and a dubie!!!
Title: Re: Is my "straight" stepson curious??
Post by: Matty the Damned on February 20, 2008, 11:02:38 pm
I dont know how you can say it is completely unacceptable.....It wasnt completely unacceptable when I was in school....so you are saying it is getting worse instead of better?....I think it is just the opposite.

Jaser (Mouse) experienced homophobic and transphobic hatred so intense he was forced to leave his ordinary school and complete his secondary education via the internet.

Is that better enough for you?

MtD
Title: Re: Is my "straight" stepson curious??
Post by: BreakerOneNine on February 20, 2008, 11:05:49 pm
I dont know how you can say it is completely unacceptable.....It wasnt completely unacceptable when I was in school....so you are saying it is getting worse instead of better?....I think it is just the opposite.

Jaser (Mouse) experienced homophobic and transphobic hatred so intense he was forced to leave his ordinary school and complete his secondary education via the internet.

Is that better enough for you?

MtD

Yes..that explains everything...Thank you.
Title: Re: Is my "straight" stepson curious??
Post by: Matty the Damned on February 20, 2008, 11:08:26 pm
Yes..that explains everything...Thank you.

You're more than welcome.

MtD
Title: Re: Is my "straight" stepson curious??
Post by: SteveA on February 21, 2008, 12:04:49 am
Is this odd for a straight young man of his age?

In answer to your question. No it's not odd in the least for young guys, gay or straight, to prefer the company of their male friends over that of their girlfriends if they have interests that the girlfriend doesn't share.

A HUGE interest for guys that age is video games. In this day and age I've heard more tales of relationship woes because video games took precedence over a relationship than I can count! Also, guys his age are most definitely NOT as relationship minded as young women are. They're out to have fun and the more fun the better. Be it cars, bars, video games, sports or whatever. If his girlfriend doesn't share his main interests, she's going to find herself fighting for center stage. This does not make him gay, or even the slight bit curious. It makes him male.  ::)
Title: Re: Is my "straight" stepson curious??
Post by: thunter34 on February 21, 2008, 12:20:52 am
In answer to your question. No it's not odd in the least for young guys, gay or straight, to prefer the company of their male friends over that of their girlfriends if they have interests that the girlfriend doesn't share.

A HUGE interest for guys that age is video games. In this day and age I've heard more tales of relationship woes because video games took precedence over a relationship than I can count! Also, guys his age are most definitely NOT as relationship minded as young women are. They're out to have fun and the more fun the better. Be it cars, bars, video games, sports or whatever. If his girlfriend doesn't share his main interests, she's going to find herself fighting for center stage. This does not make him gay, or even the slight bit curious. It makes him male.  ::)


I can't help but notice you keep going back to the "gay or curious" thing almost like that's some kind of bad thing.  Am I the only one getting that vibe?

I don't see why you are so bent about the notion of this kid possibly having a sexual curiosity as a potential motive behind his divided attentions. 

The main interest of most straight 21 year olds I've known has always been...well, pussy.  And it generally took some pretty good inticements to steer their attention from that.  Straight or gay, sex is a big draw...and that  is a male thing.  You're so uptight about the notion of gay life revolving around sex.  Obviously, your life revolved around it to some significant degree.  You're here, aren't you?  Just like the rest of us.  So stop with all this phony indignation. 

If I had a dollar for every time some highly judgmental person wailed on about how judgmental everyone else is...well, I wouldn't need lottery tickets.
Title: Re: Is my "straight" stepson curious??
Post by: Matty the Damned on February 21, 2008, 12:23:14 am
You're here, aren't you?  Just like the rest of us.  So stop with all this phony indignation. 

H-E double hockey sticks, Reverend Timberley! You've just done gone and shattered all my illusions. I always thought SteveA got AIDS from playing cards or some other wholesome pastime. :)

MtD
Title: Re: Is my "straight" stepson curious??
Post by: SteveA on February 21, 2008, 02:19:20 am

I can't help but notice you keep going back to the "gay or curious" thing almost like that's some kind of bad thing.  Am I the only one getting that vibe?

I don't see why you are so bent about the notion of this kid possibly having a sexual curiosity as a potential motive behind his divided attentions. 

The main interest of most straight 21 year olds I've known has always been...well, pussy.  And it generally took some pretty good inticements to steer their attention from that.  Straight or gay, sex is a big draw...and that  is a male thing.  You're so uptight about the notion of gay life revolving around sex.  Obviously, your life revolved around it to some significant degree.  You're here, aren't you?  Just like the rest of us.  So stop with all this phony indignation. 

If I had a dollar for every time some highly judgmental person wailed on about how judgmental everyone else is...well, I wouldn't need lottery tickets.

You know what Tim? I get it that you and MTD don't like me. I got that a long long time ago. Get over it!

I'm not "Bent" about anyone being curious about sex, let alone gay sex. I'm out and open with both my sexuality and my HIV status among my friends, family, and when I worked, my co-workers. Neither am I'm not uptight about gay life. Unlike you though, I don't expect others to be cool about being called gay just because they have gay friends. Not that there's anything wrong with being gay but that it's wrong to judge people based on who they are friends with. Period! End of story!

What I'm tired of is people here in these forums trying to put their own spin on my posts just because they decided not to like me for whatever reason. You don't have to agree with me and frankly I don't ever expect you to agree with me. You've made it quite apparent that you're going to try to twist whatever I post to try start an argument with me or to drive me from these forums. Well that ain't happening.
Title: Re: Is my "straight" stepson curious??
Post by: Matty the Damned on February 21, 2008, 02:25:20 am
I get it that you and MTD don't like me. I got that a long long time ago. Get over it!

Surprised you could see my posts, Steve. (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=17051.0)

MtD
Title: Re: Is my "straight" stepson curious??
Post by: Queen Tokelove on February 21, 2008, 02:55:23 am
any faghag will tell you, us gay foks are fun! maybe your stepson caught on to this. relationships can be a pain in the ass. the pussy/ass is great, but the rest of the bs doesnt hold up to a night of videogames, pool and a dubie!!!

Amen. I am a Fag Hag and proud of it!!! I must admit and this is my own opinion but I prefer hanging with gay guys more than most male heteros simply because they say what they mean and mean what they say. Another reason is that they can remain friends w/o sniffing for some pussy. It has been hard for me to be friends with some male heteros after explaining all I want to be is friends and not fuck buddies.

And Next, hush your mouth, I love video games. Sometimes that is what draws some hetero guys towards me other than my obvious ghetto booty... ;) Ahem, I meant my Queenly beauty....And did I mention I stay with a doobie, well most times... ;)

I meant to comment on this thread when I first saw it but I figured I would lay in the cut and watch the fireworks. But to answer Spoiled, I don't think your son is gay because he has gay friends or doesn't spend that much time with his girl. I would think most teenage boys spend more time with their friends than their girl. I have observed this with my son and godson. Honestly, I wouldn't sweat it unless you notice some of your things missing unless you have a daughter then I guess that would answer that. :)
Title: Re: Is my "straight" stepson curious??
Post by: SteveA on February 21, 2008, 03:06:20 am
I get it that you and MTD don't like me. I got that a long long time ago. Get over it!

Surprised you could see my posts, Steve. (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=17051.0)

MtD

It's not hard to see your posts when people "QUOTE" them! From that point on it's pretty apparent that whenever one of your posts follows mine it's highly likely it's just more of your flame baiting. Are you happy? I'm responding to you now. I've seen your post. Are you dancing with glee now? You're probably pissing your pants in joy! Whatever!
Title: Re: Is my "straight" stepson curious??
Post by: SteveA on February 21, 2008, 03:10:07 am
I don't think your son is gay because he has gay friends or doesn't spend that much time with his girl. I would think most teenage boys spend more time with their friends than their girl. I have observed this with my son and godson.

Precisely! And it's not just teenaged boys either. My friends have ditched their girlfriends (And Wives and Husbands) to spend time playing video games for up to 72 hours straight and it had nothing to do with sex or drugs. A few Whisky Sours maybe, but it was mainly about the video games!
Title: Re: Is my "straight" stepson curious??
Post by: Matty the Damned on February 21, 2008, 03:19:11 am
It's not hard to see your posts when people "QUOTE" them!

I know dear. It's diabolical, isn't it? ;D

MtD
Title: Re: Is my "straight" stepson curious??
Post by: Andy Velez on February 21, 2008, 08:36:16 am
OK, y'all. We have a veryclear picture of who doesn't like who. Of course that doesn't have a thing to do with the stated subject matter of the thread.

So lay off of the sniping and whacking at each other. No matter how much you want to get in just one more of those "pearls,"  just save it for your jewelry collection.

Confine your comments to the subject matter of the thread, period.   
Title: Re: Is my "straight" stepson curious??
Post by: BT65 on February 21, 2008, 09:21:50 am
I don't have a son; I have a daughter.  She is open to all people & has friends of all races, sexual types etc.  Of course, she's 1/2 Mexican, her mother (me) was in a LTR with another woman etc.