Author Topic: life just goes on.... (Read 6250 times)

rondrond · « **on:** April 17, 2008, 10:19:43 pm »

I went to the dentist..and then I woke up at home. I don't even remember this lady's name. Today was just going to be an x-ray and exam....ok....after putting up the xrays on the lighted window with me screwing my head around and stating that they could go ahead and tell me "pretty teeth, go home"...that didn't happen. Instead she decided to blow my day by showing me a dark circle around the back right molar and stating that I was being referred to Baylor Hospital for a biopsy. o.o ....a biopsy....yes....isn't that for cancer?...yes....O.o ...are you telling me that I have cancer?...not yet. It could be a cyst. EITHER way it is on top of this nerve that runs along your jaw and if it gets to that nerve you will have a half paralyzed face .@.@ ..This needs to be taken care of ASAP...ok.....So, we made an appointment for gnereal cleaning and I am to call tomorrow and get the referral info and then call PMC to see about stopping warfarin during this biopsy, (so I don't bleed to death) and I went to Recept (pharmacy) and picked up my spanking new HIV meds that I swallowed at 7pm (supposed to be 6pm, but I was asleep, as I had buried my head in the pillows so Katie couldn't hear me crying) Went ahead and cried in the shower too, as I just can't seem to cry in front of Katie...called Mom and gave her the news (in a 'moment' I told Katie that we might need to start rehearsing....pretending that I am not here anymore and seeing if she can run the house and still take care of business without me....that got me a look...and a tornado has just gone by, complete with hail this time, and I'm still here and see how life just goes on?

BT65 · « **Reply #1 on:** April 17, 2008, 10:30:24 pm »

Rond, I'm sorry to hear of your latest trouble.

I know this probably sounds worthless, but don't hit the panic button until you know exactly what it is you're dealing with. Good luck and please let me know what happens.
Luv,
Betty

dgr20002 · « **Reply #2 on:** April 17, 2008, 10:36:46 pm »

Ron,

Surprises like that really stink. I wish you the best possible outcome.

David

rondrond · « **Reply #3 on:** April 17, 2008, 10:50:30 pm »

Quote from: Bettytacy on April 17, 2008, 10:30:24 pm

Rond, I'm sorry to hear of your latest trouble.

I know this probably sounds worthless, but don't hit the panic button until you know exactly what it is you're dealing with. Good luck and please let me know what happens.
Luv,
Betty

How did you know I had an extra large panic button growing on the wall as I kept on with her?..are you sure those are my xrays?...".yes'..but my teeth don't hurt...nothing hurts..if nothing hurts you are supposed to get a clean bill of health....."that's what is so weird...because it is definintely there and you should feel something"...ok...why don't you just scrape it out of there?...I remember calling my caseworker and telling her...and then she called me right back as apparently I did not sound too good on the phone....and I have an appointment on Monday....so i have all weekend to not think about it...

AlanBama · « **Reply #4 on:** April 17, 2008, 11:06:21 pm »

Hey Ron,

I know it's upsetting news, but I agree with Betty; don't panic just yet. My dentist saw a "suspicious dark spot" and nothing would do but for me to go to an endodontic surgeon, have a previous root canal and post DUG OUT, only to determine that it was really nothing after all.

Keep that trigger finger off the panic button, just for a bit. And keep us posted ok?

hugs,
Alan

rondrond · « **Reply #5 on:** April 17, 2008, 11:21:26 pm »

Quote from: AlanBama on April 17, 2008, 11:06:21 pm

Hey Ron,

I know it's upsetting news, but I agree with Betty; don't panic just yet. My dentist saw a "suspicious dark spot" and nothing would do but for me to go to an endodontic surgeon, have a previous root canal and post DUG OUT, only to determine that it was really nothing after all.

Keep that trigger finger off the panic button, just for a bit. And keep us posted ok?

hugs,
Alan

ok...I will put a cover over the panic button. only...they gave you a root canal?...oh, wait, I've heard those sound worse than they are..though they sound horrible...

AndyArrow · « **Reply #6 on:** April 18, 2008, 12:39:55 am »

I'm very sorry to read about what's been going on with you. I don't have any deep thougts to share only that I will be wishing & hoping for the best for both of you.

AA

rondrond · « **Reply #7 on:** April 18, 2008, 01:04:37 am »

Quote from: AndyArrow on April 18, 2008, 12:39:55 am

I'm very sorry to read about what's been going on with you. I don't have any deep thougts to share only that I will be wishing & hoping for the best for both of you.

AA

thanks Alan. I am adjusting metally to possible scenarios, (this is an irritating habit of mine that drives my family crazy...you're thinking about it too much)...but, the rest of the night if Katie (my disabled sister, in a wheelchair) dropped something on the floor, I would just look at her and say "what would you do if I wasn't here?"...oh, yeah, use that reacher....then she just got worse and seemed to "need" more as the evening progressed, down to forgetting to turn on her oxygen machine and turning off the TV, which I have remotes for everything in the house up to and including the ceiling fans and lights, yet she left the remote over by the TV, and I'm like, "guess it will lull you to sleep"....sigh...

xyahka · « **Reply #8 on:** April 18, 2008, 01:24:52 am »

Well... there are some things we share... like the pesimistic perspective of life (you can call it "think about all possible scenarios" but we both know we always think about the "all possible negative scenarios"). And i know it is hard to deal with... but perhaps i can give you and advice someone gave me (my psycho to be more specific): "Go a day at a time".

It may not be easy but it helps.

Next thing, perhaps you should stop telling Katie how much she needs you... i think she knows that... perhaps the question is "are you aware of how much your need her or will need her?". What i mean to say is that instead of suffering for something that hasn't happen yet... why don't you enjoy this time when still nothing bad has happened. Everything has a time... when the time to worry or face hard things come... life will let you know, but in the meantime to enjoy this moment of relative peace with your sister, family and friends could be a good idea.

Just my two cents.

Wish you all the best.

Juan Carlos

rondrond · « **Reply #9 on:** April 18, 2008, 02:02:40 am »

Hi Juan,
I hear what you are saying, but I do not see how it would help by not letting her do for herself what she can do. If you don't use it, you will lose it. MY sister has a tendency that if you give an inch she wil take the mile. Anyone coming over will find this out as if they do something for her that she could do herself, she will start asking for more and more and more until you gotta say, "girl, what are you gonna do?" And she will ask it with "we"...we need to do this, we need that. There ain't no 'we' to it, it's everyone doing but her. (when she tells me "WE" I ask if she has a mouse in her pocket) I had her doing hand held weights and standing and working out until she got 'approved' for that Electric Wheelchair'. Since it's arrival, the only standing she does is to transfer to the bed or toilet. period. While going 'one day at a time' may work for some, it is not for me as if if wasn't for my planning, budgeting and looking at possible scenarios, we would be on the street and she would have to go back to the nursing home I rescued her from.

xyahka · « **Reply #10 on:** April 18, 2008, 02:39:29 am »

Ok, then i take back my words. I think i missunderstood your statement about your sister (i first though you were married). Sorry for the missunderstanding. As for the rest, whatever happens i am sure you will deal with it and solve it, and that good humor sense you have is going to help you a lot.

All the best,

Juan Carlos

rondrond · « **Reply #11 on:** April 18, 2008, 02:49:22 am »

Quote from: xyahka on April 18, 2008, 02:39:29 am

Ok, then i take back my words. I think i missunderstood your statement about your sister (i first though you were married). Sorry for the missunderstanding. As for the rest, whatever happens i am sure you will deal with it and solve it, and that good humor sense you have is going to help you a lot.

All the best,

Juan Carlos

;DYa know, sometimes it feels like we are married, but we look like twins so that won't work. When we are next to each other you can see the eyes going back and forth...they know that we are related. I am one year older, but when we go out, like to get our haircuts, everyone asks if she is my mother....(she is not amused when this happens) Your words have planted seeds and got me thinking that one day she may be my caretaker, instead of me being hers, which panics me as she is a mother of 3 and likes being a mother and grandmother and I don't like being mothered.

thanks Juan
ronnie

Jeff G · « **Reply #12 on:** April 18, 2008, 07:51:08 am »

Hey Ron I just want to let you know I'm thinking of you . I know its a tough time so if you ever want to talk I'm here .

bear60 · « **Reply #13 on:** April 18, 2008, 10:15:54 am »

Hi Ron
I'm not sure I understood all that about the tooth. Hope you are ok.
Joel

rondrond · « **Reply #14 on:** April 18, 2008, 10:24:55 am »

Quote from: bear60 on April 18, 2008, 10:15:54 am

Hi Ron
I'm not sure I understood all that about the tooth. Hope you are ok.
Joel

Hi Joel,
Going in for a routine cleaning has netted me a possible diagnosis of cancer at the root of my back molar. I did not react very well to this news, I totally freaked out, and was on the road of "I guess it's my time to 'check out") but with the help of this forum, I am calming down and ready to wait and see if it really is cancer or just a dark spot on the xray.

thanks for the well wishes,
ronnie

bear60 · « **Reply #15 on:** April 18, 2008, 10:50:03 am »

Oh Ron....
Now I get it.
Lets not jump to conclusions then....I hope its just a dark spot and you can get it fixed.

Joel

rondrond · « **Reply #16 on:** April 18, 2008, 10:18:49 pm »

This is day two of taking Truvada/Virumane and I still don't feel any different, to my knowledge. I called the Dental Clininc for my referral, and the lady in charge informed me that Baylor Hospital no longer Accepts Ryan White funded clients. After sitting on the couch and staring at the floor for a few, I called my caseworker at AOC. She wasn't in and after 2 hours of waiting for her to return my call, I called Paula, my case worker at Tarrant County and she said.., "no problem, we'll just have to get you an appointment with Debbie and get you referred from here." After advising her that I already had an appointment with Debbie on Monday, my stress, terror, obstacles, not wanting to have half my face paralyzed, and just... everything ....the dam broke, and she had to listen to me blubber for awhile. So, anyway, I've had a good cry and have a pretty proactive caseworker on my case. I am so grateful... I could start blubbering again. In the past, I remember that there were just so many people and no funds and no knowledge... There would be a waiting room full of people and if a social worker entered, they would be hanging on their coattails asking for everything under the sun, and pretty much demanding it, and getting angry ...Did not realize just how much things had changed until that moment when she said," no problem"....

BT65 · « **Reply #17 on:** April 19, 2008, 08:39:26 am »

Rond, I'm glad you had, for lack of better wording, a moment of meltdown. Sometimes that's just what's in order.

Yes, I agree. Things have changed a lot since the early days. I hope this situation can be resolved soon.

rondrond · « **Reply #18 on:** April 22, 2008, 07:51:41 am »

It was Monday and my waitathon was finally over and I got my 'emergency' appoinment regarding the 'dark spot' in my dental xrays. Dr Debbie, had her gloved fingers in my mouth for at least 10 minutes poking and rubbing and shining with this light thingy and then she went and got Dr Col.. who did the same and they concluded that I needed to be referred to an oral surgeon and that I needed to start taking antibiotics as oral surgeons always ask "has he been on antibiotics for at least 3 weeks?"...and so I will start these anitbiotics and see the Dr next week, and by then she should have the xray from the dental clinic (they are just down the road, not more than 3 minutes) (I couldn't help but think that they should already have it, the dental clinic is only five blocks down the road...a boy on a bike could have it to them in 3 minutes, but, I kept my opinion to myself, typical that I would criticize something I'm getting for FREE....hangs head in shame...and then they will contact the county hospital here. John Peter Smith...and she asks "are you in their system?"...and I say "oh yes, I just got a bill from them for 20,000.00 just the other day for my DVT/PE....That is another TODO for me, to go to their accounting office with my 'life in a bag" and attempt to get that dismissed.
Here is where one group of professionals do not think like another group of their peers as they stated that instead of cancer they think that it could be an infection as my tooth is loose, but that a biopsy would answer that for sure, and I might as well face the fact that I will lose that tooth, as molars are not supposed to be loose, so there is something definitely amiss with that tooth. ;( ...so much for my goal of going to my grave with all my bits) Then I got home and just sat down for a moment. 8 hours later...I awoke just in time to take all my new pills..plus antibiotic.. bugger...I'm now up to 6 pills a day.

BT65 · « **Reply #19 on:** April 22, 2008, 07:56:53 am »

Rond, don't think that because you get something for free it doesn't entitle you to complain. I get (mostly) every medical service for free and I bitch all I want to.

Oh, about the six pills a day. I take 11 just in the a.m. You get used to it.

rondrond · « **Reply #20 on:** April 22, 2008, 08:09:45 am »

Thanks Betty,
yeah, I guess there is accounatability to be expected even from free services. Maybe not so free, somebody is getting paid for something somewhere.

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Author Topic: life just goes on.... (Read 6250 times)