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Main Forums => I Just Tested Poz => Topic started by: Ray3164 on November 25, 2013, 03:10:10 pm

Title: Tested positive
Post by: Ray3164 on November 25, 2013, 03:10:10 pm
I'm sad to say that my test results came back positive. :(

I won't write anything more about the past. I only look for support and information on what I should prepare for and expect for the future.
Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: Jeff G on November 25, 2013, 03:20:37 pm
I'm sad to say that my test results came back positive. :(

I won't write anything more about the past. I only look for support and information on what I should prepare for and expect for the future.

What test were done to confirm the results ? You could not possibly be HIV positive from kissing so I would suggest another test and a possibly a new doctor . 

Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: mecch on November 25, 2013, 04:00:26 pm
I'm sad to say that my test results came back positive. :(

I won't write anything more about the past. I only look for support and information on what I should prepare for and expect for the future.

(This is my 10,000 th post on this Forum.  I was waiting a few days for some topic worth the occasion)

Hello Ray.
I am sending you my love and support.  Some things are not adding up, considering your new post.  Well first of all, if you are HIV+, well that sucks, but life continues.

Second, I took the time to read through your posts in the Am I Infected thread.  Most of us don't read through them, only the monitors who are authorised to respond.

 Listen dear, you didn't get HIV through kissing. Also, you didn't get HIV through a puncture wound, randomly on the street. 

If you are HIV+, I want to tell you, you can and its a good idea to learn something from your life up to now....   If you are HIV+, it's a good chance you are in denial about what happened. Or completely in the dark about the actual route of transmission.  That's not impossible, to be in the dark.

ALL HIV+ people learn from the past.  That doesn't mean we have to live in the past.  We just move forward, and doing so try to keep a big spoonful of reason and reality, to effectively deal with whatever comes our way.  Denial, ignorance, mysteries, things walled off and "not to be discussed" - this doesn't help all that much.   

Something is off in your contact with reality and it would probably be a good idea to figure out how to come back to earth, living in fact-based world.  HIV+ or HIV-. 

As Jeff already asked you, I will repeat --- What HIV test came back positive?  And what is you next step?  Do you have a follow-up appointment?
When?
And with whom??  Or, Where?

Deep breaths my friend, all will be clarified and taken care of, eventually...

Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: Ray3164 on November 27, 2013, 12:52:29 am
The test was done by the hospital. My primary care dr. Was the one who put through the lab work. I went in independent of that and got my blood drawn. Test results came back a week later.

I'm waiting until after the holiday to schedule appointment with id dr.
Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: mecch on November 27, 2013, 05:37:23 am
OK.  Did you choose an ID doc?  If so did you call?  Are you waiting until next year to call?  Or do you already have the appt and its just next year because that is the wait time.

Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: Ann on November 27, 2013, 06:52:28 am

I'm waiting until after the holiday to schedule appointment with id dr.



Are you waiting until next year to call?  Or do you already have the appt and its just next year because that is the wait time.


Mecch, I think he means he's waiting until next week, after the Thanksgiving holiday.

Ray, you need to make sure your positive antibody result has been confirmed with an additional test called a Western Blot. Until this has been done, you should not consider yourself diagnosed with hiv.

False positive antibody result can happen for a variety of reasons, including but not limited to an underlying (possibly not-as-yet diagnosed) autoimmune condition.

Good luck with your further testing. If you are determined to be officially hiv positive, you certainly did not get it from kissing.

Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: Ray3164 on November 27, 2013, 12:28:00 pm
Test was a WB. Also, by holiday I meant thanksgiving. They will schedule appointment after the weekend.
Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: gadawg1979 on November 28, 2013, 02:57:20 am
Test was a WB. Also, by holiday I meant thanksgiving. They will schedule appointment after the weekend.

Wow I was there less than two years ago and I got the You have HIV and AIDS talk at the same time.... Calm down and take a breath.  The world is not ending. Depending on your numbers you will go on meds and well after things settle your life will not change a whole lot.  You will be fine.  Sorry you found us but glad you are here.  This board is a great resource and will often provide you more information than your doc.  breathe in, breathe out, and move on... because life goes on and so will you.

Hugs

JSC
Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: Ray3164 on November 28, 2013, 02:02:24 pm
Mecch,

I don't feel I am in denial about what happened. I'm not promiscuous, didn't have intercourse with multiple partners and neither unprotected intercourse. I was in a long term relationship and she has tested negative for everything on std screening. I know this because we are still really good friends. Since that relationship I have not engage I'm any type of sexually activities. This is why I'm extremely confused.

In addition, the only thing I can attribute those ars symptoms I experience was from that night out. Also, I did freak out the day after since I thought the girl was extremely promiscuous herself. I waited months, posted on the forum for advice, then tested for piece of mind. I know experts argue against oral kissing transmission. However, it was the bleeding gums in my mouth or the object that stabbed me in the foot I believe that infected me.

However, please understand that's all irrelevant since it's in the past. As the dr. told me, worry about what's going on now and look forward to the future. I hope I can now utilize this forum for support, discussion and any other questions I may have about my new journey in life. Is been extremely difficult these past few weeks. However, I'm optimistic things will legit better soon. It's just the initial shock. I just wish I could alleviate the "death is on the horizon panic".

I wish you all a happy holiday.
Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: Ray3164 on November 28, 2013, 02:37:52 pm
Does anyone have feed back on what I should be asking the id doc. How do I know if the one I'm paired up with is good? What questions should I be asking?
Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: mecch on November 28, 2013, 02:58:41 pm
I agree that the main focus is on today and the future. 
 ;D
That said, IMO you could reexamine all your assumptions about HIV being related to promiscuity. (not to mention second hand assumptions about who is promiscuous and who isn't.)

Just saying, millions of people around the world live with HIV infections and many if not most have nothing to do with promiscuity. That is all.. 

As for your transmission routes, you can believe what you want. This is a public forum --- people come here for facts and reassurance about feared risks --- and the party line is that there is no transmission from kissing and HIV transmission from puncture wounds on a city street seems pretty far fetched...

As to if your ID doc is good, well one thing you can do is ask about his/her opinion on when to treat.  And the rationale. A good doctor will explain his protocol in a way that transmits information, medical practice expertise, but yet gives the patient the ability to make an informed decision based on the patient's own wishes and circumstances, needs, etc.  Also if you get a feeling of "mastery" during the time you have with the doc.  Is there time for questions, etc.  Also if the doc is going to collaborate with any other medical professionals that may be called for.  Personally I don't like ID's who operate as islands onto themselves and won't communicate with GPs, and therapists that might be involved, etc etc.  HIV is a serious diagnosis and I look for an ID who takes into consideration the "whole person" even if the logistics of his/her practice will require strict limits on the time invested in my "global" treatment and health. 
Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: Ray3164 on November 28, 2013, 03:22:06 pm
Mecch,

I'm not pin pointing the kissing. I know there is a common consensus that it is no risk. I just feel due to the chance of the active bleeding or infected object. Like I said, I don't understand how I became infected. It is something that crosses my mind multiple times throughout the day. Trust me the past years of my life have crossed my mind over the last week. I've only had intercourse with one person in over 5 years and that person tested negative. In addition, I have never used drugs in my life. Therefore, I'm so darn confused on how this all began.

Especially when the you state the only confirmed risks are:
1. IV drug use
2. Unprotected inter course
3. Mother to child.

If those are the only confirmed routes. Then I'm completely stumped. :(

Again, thanks for the advice and I will let you know what the numbers are when I find out next week. Until then, I will continue to read and educate myself with as much knowledge on treatment, side affects, etc....
Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: mecch on November 28, 2013, 03:43:36 pm
Ok
Read carefully about side effects. Don't read old material and don't fear.  Most people recently infected an in close medical treatment, with good ID docs, shouldn't be overly concerned about side effects.  Meaning if by chance  combination gives one side effects, there are usually other combos to try, to find something with little to no side effects.  Its not unrealistic to expect NO side effects. 
Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: Ray3164 on November 28, 2013, 03:58:01 pm
Mecch,

I wish I could make sense of all this.
Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: Ray3164 on November 28, 2013, 04:39:22 pm
Mecch,

Especially when the you state the only confirmed risks are:
1. IV drug use
2. Unprotected inter course
3. Mother to child.

If those are the only confirmed routes. Then I'm completely stumped. :(


Just curious why we don't consider other possibilities like exposure to infected blood a risk. Especially with a high viral load?
Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: Jeff G on November 28, 2013, 05:19:38 pm
Just curious why we don't consider other possibilities like exposure to infected blood a risk. Especially with a high viral load?

Because we know the science behind transmission and we don't want to give out inaccurate information and give people the impression you can get HIV from kissing when we know that kissing is not a risk for HIV .   
Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: Ray3164 on November 28, 2013, 05:27:59 pm
Then I assume my transmission will forever be a mystery. I believe my ars occurred the two weeks after that weekend. This was the only time I've ever experienced sore throat, headache, swollen glands in neck groin and armpits, stabbing pains In my posterior thigh muscles, hot flashes and rash covering chest and lower neck.

I had to of experienced some form of blood exposure. Because it definitely wasn't intercourse related.

Is it common to regularly get small sores in the mouth. Seems like they appear, last for a few day, go away, then re appear elsewhere in the mouth.
Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: Beefme on November 28, 2013, 10:10:14 pm
Hello,

This situation makes no sense. Could an expert please explain how this occured?
Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: Jeff G on November 28, 2013, 10:41:53 pm
Hello,

This situation makes no sense. Could an expert please explain how this occured?

You are only permitted to post in the Am I infected forum , please do not post outside your thread again , thanks .

You are right , it makes no sense and I don't intend to argue with him about it . He did not not get HIV in the manner he claims and is mistaken . This is not a new situation or unique . People sometimes are not honest or they honestly don't recall the situation because of drugs and alcohol or they simply do not want to admit they are just like all of us that got HIV the old fashioned way . There have been times when we have to give people warnings and time outs for posting no risk situations excessively and they come back pissed and do this out of spite . The OP just came back from a warning and a time out , not sure if that plays a role or not and don't really care .

The sad part is there are newly infected people who are frightened that they may pass the virus on to a spouse or family and this makes it really tough on them . There are also people who have HIV phobias and OCD conditions that are greatly stressed and hurt by these type of misinformation , its sad and shameful .

The science is clear that kissing is not a risk for HIV so the volunteer moderators on this forum will simply keep plodding along giving people the information they need to remain HIV free and not let something like this deter us from chipping away at the stigma and misinformation one post at a time , more than that we cant do .   
Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: jkinatl2 on November 29, 2013, 01:43:20 am
Hello,

This situation makes no sense. Could an expert please explain how this occured?

I just wanted to chime in and agree with Moderator Jeff here. One of two things will happen:

The poster will keep filling us in on his progression and we will eventually move past this and discuss what matters: viral load, CD4 count, treatment options if necessary. And he will discover that HIV is not, in fact, a dramatic series of television movies but rather a mundane, albeit stigmatized condition that will represent a disruption of, but hardly the end of, his life and vitality.

For the newly diagnosed, living with HIV is comparatively boring so long as you have access to treatment and medication. Of course, that's a huge "if."

Seeing as the OP seems to have that access, the next step in his progression to sickness and death... won't happen. He will find appropriate meds and his life will go forward. He might have trouble adjusting, dealing with the stigma - and seeing as how he has a lot to learn about transmission, it might be a long time before he is prepared for an intimate relationship.

This site, and all the LESSONS, provide an excellent - albeit steep - learning curve.

The other alternative, of course, is that the OP, having refused to believe he had no risk and going on and on and on and on over what was a no-risk situation - which is a violation of the rules in AM I INFECTED - received a four week time out. The obsession with HIV and it's perceived struggles persisted, and his first post as soon as the time out was lifted was a claim to be, in fact, positive.

If this is the case, then time will tell. I have had HIV since 1993. I know the drill. And I am most assuredly not alone. And sadly, we have people like that come through the forums maybe four times a year. They are almost always exposed, or disappear - not because we chase them away (I hope) but because they simply are not experiencing HIV.

I could psychoanalyze them all day (and certainly have) but in the end, they are sad people who believe that HIV is a punishment. Moreover, they refuse to accept that it is not THEIR punishment. I won't go into what that says about what they really think about people with HIV, but I think you know where I'm going.

They used to make me furious. Now, more sad.

Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: Ray3164 on December 04, 2013, 05:12:02 pm
First, please do not write things about me makeing all of this up. In reality I wish it was made up. However, it is not.

My first appointment is tomorrow morning. I don't know why but over the past few days I have felt down worse than ever. As of now I have medical insurance to cover everything. However, part of me has a great insecurity now since I will forever depend on treatment. I fear of one day being with out medical insurance and not being able to afford treatment. Maybe it's just the hard fate of things setting in.

I'm deffinately worried about the new journey
Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: RapidRod on December 04, 2013, 05:47:21 pm
I'm sorry, but I don't believe a word of your story.
Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: Ray3164 on December 04, 2013, 06:23:03 pm
Rod, your entitled to believe what you want. However, please keep the rude remarks to yourself. Like I said, if only it weren't true. Again, the results don't lie.
Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: mecch on December 04, 2013, 06:25:12 pm
First, please do not write things about me makeing all of this up. In reality I wish it was made up. However, it is not.

My first appointment is tomorrow morning. I don't know why but over the past few days I have felt down worse than ever. As of now I have medical insurance to cover everything. However, part of me has a great insecurity now since I will forever depend on treatment. I fear of one day being with out medical insurance and not being able to afford treatment. Maybe it's just the hard fate of things setting in.

I'm deffinately worried about the new journey

Its a common reaction, common feelings.  Hope your doc tells you reassuring things. He/she should tell you how manageable HIV is.

Yes, you will depend on treatment, just like the rest of us do, until there is some sort of functional cure. Maybe some people have to start sooner than others, but we all depend on treatment.

Ditto, yes, we all depend on health care.  And thus insurance or whatever who ever is paying it, depending on what country you live in.  So if you are American, make sure you motivate and support the Affordable Care Act and all politicians in the future who are working to make universal health care a reality in the USA.  Its really the minimum, for a rich country. 

These are anxious making realities but eventually you'll deal with everything.
Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: RapidRod on December 04, 2013, 06:33:34 pm
Rod, your entitled to believe what you want. However, please keep the rude remarks to yourself. Like I said, if only it weren't true. Again, the results don't lie.
There was nothing rude in my reply. Results don't lie, but people do.
Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: Ray3164 on December 04, 2013, 08:01:53 pm
Rod,

If there were only a way to prove it to you.
Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: Joe K on December 04, 2013, 09:12:55 pm
Rod, your entitled to believe what you want. However, please keep the rude remarks to yourself. Like I said, if only it weren't true. Again, the results don't lie.

Ray,

I'm with Rod, I don't believe a word of your story.  The time line is too convenient and all your posts in Am I Infected were to prove to us, that you contracted HIV from kissing.  I've been poz for 30 years and have dealt with thousands of people infected by HIV and I resent what you are trying to do here.

There are people who experience real risks or harbor abnormal fears of being infected and for you to suggest that you became poz through kissing, well, it's something that I cannot let stand.

YOU DID NOT GET HIV FROM KISSING.  It never happened so there are only two possibilities: 

The first is that you are indeed poz, but you contracted it the same way that most of us did and THAT WAS NOT FROM KISSING.

The other option is you are a vindictive person, seeking some kind of perverted revenge on this forum, due to your inability to control your emotions, which resulted in you being warned and then given a time out.

Time will reveal which option is true.

Joe
Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: Jeff G on December 04, 2013, 09:42:42 pm
There is also the possibility that when he tested way back when ( I forget ) he was in the window period . If you are POZ Ray you better get your girlfriend tested again at the appropriate time  ... you say that she has tested HIV negative despite you having unprotected sex with her ...  then she could be in the window period too .

You will find a world of support here but I doubt some members will let immaculate infection claims stand . Its your story of a bad tooth and deadly kiss or a HIV loaded needle to the heel that is impossible to ignore , its classic urban myth and reads like a case of Hoof and Mouth Disease instead of HIV . 

You came back into the forum saying you wanted the past to be the past and when no one responded you posted over and over again your dubious claims and at one point you even quoted yourself to keep the conversation going .

If you are indeed positive and want support then I suggest YOU stop bringing this aspect of your claim up . Or you can keep doing what you are doing and being confronted for your effort , its your choice if that is what you want to discuss and from what I have seen that's the only reason you keep coming back .   
Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: Ray3164 on December 04, 2013, 10:17:05 pm
I'm sorry you all feel the way you do. I'm not making anymore claims about infection routes. If you haven't noticed I haven't claimed anything in over a week. It is what it is. Unfortunately I have been in fear of infection from the past and unfortunately I have become pos. i can't change the past and I am aware of this. Please allow me to move forward in dealing with everything.
Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: Jeff G on December 04, 2013, 10:21:16 pm
I'm sorry you all feel the way you do. I'm not making anymore claims about infection routes. If you haven't noticed I haven't claimed anything in over a week. It is what it is. Unfortunately I have been in fear of infection from the past and unfortunately I have become pos. i can't change the past and I am aware of this. Please allow me to move forward in dealing with everything.

I think that's an excellent idea , please let us know how your labs turn out and how your girlfriend makes out when she finally is able to test for a conclusive result .
Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: Ray3164 on December 04, 2013, 10:29:36 pm
I'm a single man now and have been separated from her since late 2012.
Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: Jeff G on December 04, 2013, 10:37:11 pm
I'm a single man now and have been separated from her since late 2012.

I was under a different impression because you shared this with us on the 27th .

Quote from ray ....

Also, I have been in a long term relationship for the past 8 years. We recently took a small break a few months back (hence the reason my friends took me out). However, since then we have gotten back together. I am afraid to get intimate with her again since I experienced these ARS like symptoms.

Should I even be worried about these possible ARS symptoms?

Is it safe to assume I can get intimate with my long term partner again?
Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: Ray3164 on December 04, 2013, 11:03:38 pm
I am still friends with her. After that length of a relationship we have spent a good part of our lives together. However, we have not and did not get intimate after the fact.
Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: Jeff G on December 04, 2013, 11:14:59 pm
I am still friends with her. After that length of a relationship we have spent a good part of our lives together. However, we have not and did not get intimate after the fact.

Im sorry Ray ... you have been with her 8 years and 6 years had sex didn't have sex , its all so confusing when you share stuff like this on August 11 th .

Quote from Ray ...
Is it safe to assume I can continue to have unprotected intercourse with my long term girlfriend of six years .
Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: Ray3164 on December 05, 2013, 12:37:00 am
Yes I did ask the question. However, I never did have intercourse with her after that. The status of my relationship and personal life has nothing to do in regards to what I am dealing with now. As I recently said, please allow me to move forward and deal with what is going on.
Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: neilneil on December 05, 2013, 12:43:52 am
I don't want to intrude, I am new to this site. I, like many others have OCD and anxiety, if you are lying about your exposure and/ or test result, please tell us, you are seriously driving people like me insane and really anxious. Please don't do this to us.
Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: RapidRod on December 05, 2013, 02:53:50 am
I don't want to intrude, I am new to this site. I, like many others have OCD and anxiety, if you are lying about your exposure and/ or test result, please tell us, you are seriously driving people like me insane and really anxious. Please don't do this to us.
  You are not permitted to post in other people's threads and for your info the above poster is being less than truthful. Some people get their kicks out of doing that sort of thing.
Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: Ray3164 on December 05, 2013, 12:17:12 pm
Rod, please keep it to yourself. I'm not a liar. I understand you believe what you want.
Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: Jeff G on December 05, 2013, 12:56:25 pm
Rod, please keep it to yourself. I'm not a liar. I understand you believe what you want.

Rods latest comment was not directed at you so just chill already .

If you want to vent about people doubting your honestly direct it towards me , I think I did a pretty good job a showing how you play fast and loose with the truth in your prior posting history so if you want your word to be taken seriously I suggest you start with what you say and not blame others .   
Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: Joe K on December 05, 2013, 03:13:48 pm
I don't want to intrude, I am new to this site. I, like many others have OCD and anxiety, if you are lying about your exposure and/ or test result, please tell us, you are seriously driving people like me insane and really anxious. Please don't do this to us.

Ray,

This is exactly the response that I knew was coming and I really resent that you have caused this to happen.  You have no idea how hard we all work, both members and Moderators, to insure that we follow the latest science on HIV infection.  Then you come along, posting false claims of infection through kissing or a phantom needle and all you accomplish is to scare innocent folks and make all of our jobs harder.

If you expect to be part of this forum, you need to start with the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

Joe
Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: Ray3164 on December 05, 2013, 03:27:02 pm
Then disregard my original post in the "am I infected" forum. I'm not trying to scare anyone or create fear. This was never my intention. Unfortunately, I have been infected from some event in my past. I'm not making anymore claims as to possible infection routes. I have already said this. Period.

I have appointment this afternoon with the dr. And I will let you know what the results say. I only look for advice on treatments and medications. In addition, for support in dealing with the sadness.
Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: Joe K on December 05, 2013, 03:40:50 pm
Then disregard my original post in the "am I infected" forum. I'm not trying to scare anyone or create fear. This was never my intention. Unfortunately, I have been infected from some event in my past. I'm not making anymore claims as to possible infection routes. I have already said this. Period.

Ray,

Just "disregard" your original post that started all of this?  Are you serious?  And you do not even have the decency to apologize to all those folks that you have upset.

You are a real piece of work.

Joe
Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: Ray3164 on December 05, 2013, 03:54:42 pm
I say disregard because everyone is back lashing. I understand this May be your tactic in your efforts to discredit. I will believe what I want and as you believe what you want. The point is, I'm not bringing forth claims anymore. I don't understand why you do not get this.

THE POINT NOW IS THAT I DID TEST POSITIVE!

As if this alone wasn't enough. Now I get the ridicule. I don't know what to say anymore. If it's a sorry you want, then sorry. I'm personally sorry I'm now positive and even worse I'm sorry I have to be bullied about dealing with it. Let the kissing stuff go, I understand you don't agree. Move on.

But, the worst part is all of this isn't helping me with what I'm really dealing with. It feels as though all of you really don't care. Like I said, think what you want.

Thanks, mecch for being the only one able to look past and assist with the road ahead.
Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: Ray3164 on December 05, 2013, 03:58:31 pm
I'm done posting here by the way. I fully understand that all of you are trying to make me go away. It is evident.
Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: RapidRod on December 05, 2013, 04:01:12 pm
I'm done posting here by the way. I fully understand that all of you are trying to make me go away. It is evident.
You still don't get it, but that is fine.
Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: Joe K on December 05, 2013, 04:58:16 pm
I say disregard because everyone is back lashing. I understand this May be your tactic in your efforts to discredit. I will believe what I want and as you believe what you want. The point is, I'm not bringing forth claims anymore. I don't understand why you do not get this.

THE POINT NOW IS THAT I DID TEST POSITIVE!

As if this alone wasn't enough. Now I get the ridicule. I don't know what to say anymore. If it's a sorry you want, then sorry. I'm personally sorry I'm now positive and even worse I'm sorry I have to be bullied about dealing with it. Let the kissing stuff go, I understand you don't agree. Move on.

But, the worst part is all of this isn't helping me with what I'm really dealing with. It feels as though all of you really don't care. Like I said, think what you want.

Thanks, mecch for being the only one able to look past and assist with the road ahead.

Ray,

Maybe, if you stopped playing the victim here, you could understand how damaging what you did is to this forum.  Nobody is pushing you away, all we ask for is honesty and nobody here cares how anyone became poz.  My issue with you, is when you get called for stretching the truth, you play the victim, instead of owning up to some dishonesty on your part, apologizing and asking to wipe the slate clean.

Rather than doing that, you now accuse us of trying to push you away, when it was you and only you, who landed you in this situation.  Do what you will, but don't try and make this anyone's fault, other than you.

Joe
Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: Ray3164 on December 08, 2013, 12:18:27 pm
Is there anyway to qualify for assistance with medications. I have health incurrence and a good job. But the dr. Can only prescribe name brand medications in the us. Although incurrence is covering most everything. The copay's on the name brand medications are looking costly per month. Does anyone have any other alternatives for assistance?

CD: 553
VL 54,000
12/5/13
Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: Jeff G on December 08, 2013, 01:08:51 pm
Is there anyway to qualify for assistance with medications. I have health incurrence and a good job. But the dr. Can only prescribe name brand medications in the us. Although incurrence is covering most everything. The copay's on the name brand medications are looking costly per month. Does anyone have any other alternatives for assistance?

CD: 553
VL 54,000
12/5/13

Google the name of the drug you will be taking along with the words co pay assistance card and you will probably find what you need .
Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: Ray3164 on December 09, 2013, 12:18:12 pm
Jeff, thanks for the info on copay cards.

Also, my dr. Wanted to start off with atripla. I told him I wanted to research any and all side affects first. In addition, he told me I did have some time to determine when mi wanted to start treatment. However, he advised the sooner the better. (I have read conflicting things).

I read that most people stead away from atripla because there are major central nervous system problems for most patients. Is there any meds proven to work great but minimize side effects. I do realize side effects are different for each persons case.

Also, will a viral load of 54,000 come back down naturally from my body's immune system. I understand now I will be regularly monitoring the numbers.
Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: Jeff G on December 09, 2013, 12:33:51 pm
There are better people here than I to help you decide when to start treatment and what combo is a good choice but my thoughts are that there are many combos as good as Atripla and if I had it to do over I would not choose Atripla because of the potential side effects alone and because there are kinder options available now . 

There are tons of people who love Atripla but if you're not one of the ones who tolerate it well you then you would have the pain in the ass and expensive process of getting labs and seeing doctors again to go to another combo . Atripla would not be my first choice .
Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: pittman on December 09, 2013, 10:48:34 pm
I read that most people stead away from atripla because there are major central nervous system problems for most patients. Is there any meds proven to work great but minimize side effects. I do realize side effects are different for each persons case.

It is inaccurate to say most patients on Atripla suffer central nervous system problems. Most in fact do not. *Some* do.  You really don't have a way to know how you will react.  There are plenty of first line treatments to work with,  so *if* the one you start with does not work for you, be greatful that we are currently living in a time where we can try another.

Talk with your doctor about your side effect concerns. He or she can discuss options and speak factually about what to expect or monitor for.
Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: Ray3164 on December 10, 2013, 12:36:04 pm
Went to dinner with the ex last night. Although it didn't end well, she did show me the proof she tested negative. Argument ensued because I accused and even asked to see the paperwork for proof in the first place. 

I don't want to be a part of this club anymore. I feel like I have hit the floor. I'm so down I can't even pull myself out of bed in the morning. I feel as though nothing in life has meaning anymore.  I've lost all feeling, passion and desire to conquer life. Everything I ever wanted, wife, family is all gone. I don't care for anything anymore.

Now I'm even afraid of taking medication. The worst part is death is on the horizon if I choose not to partake.

It isn't easy being hetero, male and positive. The hetero positive community seems as though they are dormant. At least the gay community has plenty of support for the positive community.
Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: GoForIt on December 10, 2013, 01:15:04 pm

Now I'm even afraid of taking medication. The worst part is death is on the horizon if I choose not to partake.

It isn't easy being hetero, male and positive. The hetero positive community seems as though they are dormant. At least the gay community has plenty of support for the positive community.

As someone recently diagnosed as well....I can tell you that the medication is the best part of this all.  Only 20 years ago there was no medication.  Now you can pop 1 pill a day and it will slow your virus progression to nearly nothing and have no side effects.  I've been taking my medication for about 4 months now and it is very easy to take.  I don't feel anything after taking medication so I don't have any "medicated" feeling.  It simply took my Viral Load down below 20 or Undetectable.  This gave me back a lot of energy and appetite. 

You have a virus running rampant in your body...you gotta put it in check.

Luckily science is advancing fast with technology and new therapies and medications are being developed to really put HIV in check as a functional cure or complete cure.  All we have to do is take the best medication science has to offer and wait for the advances. 
Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: Ray3164 on December 10, 2013, 01:24:24 pm
I've got to overcome the depression first. If only we could all rewind time. I took things I had for granted. Now there's no way of getting things back. I've reached such a low in my life that I could easily walk away from everything. I feel like burrowing in a corner and allowing the virus to ravage my body.

Why do I feel this way? Life used to be so great? I used to smile and enjoy things.
Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: GoForIt on December 10, 2013, 01:32:21 pm
I understand what you are saying and feeling.  But we can only go forward and your still here to make important choices and live out your life.  Your simply lucky that in this day and age we have tests to diagnose problems before they arise.  You can potentially block AIDS from ever occurring now when just years ago you would HAVE to let it occur.  Now you have the choice to stop it in its tracks.

You could see a psychiatrist to talk things out more if you really feel your too depressed.  But the important thing now is simply get yourself in healthy mode.  Go to the doctors, get labs done every 3-6 months.  Check up on yourself and take the medication.  Think about it....20 years ago there was no medication.  Now there is 1 pill you can take with 90% efficacy that it will reduce your infection.  Think of what they will come out with 5-10-20 years from now.  Your depression might end up being unnecessary if they cure this thing.  Until then you want to stay as healthy and in the right mind-set as possible...for your own good.  Don't just give up on everything and everyone...that won't benefit you in any way.
Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: Ray3164 on December 10, 2013, 07:51:55 pm
Thanks for the advice. It's just been tough making the transition. I can't get out of the funk. I work and I lay in bed the rest of my time. No energy to get out of bed. Everything is suffering. I've even lost weight because my appetite isn't there anymore.

Just curious how starting meds can change energy levels. I can't feel the virus in my body. My issue stems from the depression not the virus. Doesn't it take years before the virus begins wearing you down.
Title: Re: Tested positive
Post by: mecch on December 10, 2013, 08:32:27 pm
Depression about a diagnosis is pretty standard.
It goes away by going through he motions.  So, yep, drag yourself to work. Get out of bed and do stuff like you did before you had HIV. Even if you don't feel like it. I mean it is fine to rest, too.  But really, eventually you'll see that the dark filter you currently have about your future isn't mandatory.  You can have your job, your love live, get married, have kids.  It's all possible.
Don't expect everything to fall into place right away. Be patient with yourself. 
If you want support about living with HIV, in real life, not here, you'll have to explore what's available. Don't assume there is nothing just because you are male and hetero.
 
Also if you feel yourself really depressed talk to your doc about treatment for depression. You might benefit from a course of ssri.