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Author Topic: I realized why I feel stupid…  (Read 6570 times)

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Offline delilah07

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  • Posts: 112
I realized why I feel stupid…
« on: September 15, 2021, 06:51:13 pm »
I was taught that I was. When I became HIV positive no one wanted to know me or even touch me. Imagine years without being hugged. Sure my Mom hugged me, but even she would say things that made me feel limited in time.
I’ve been positive for 26 years. I was told that I had two to five years at my first doctor visit.
So I didn’t bother with education or learning anything because I just wanted to drink and forget. I spent money beyond what I could afford to.
Now I’ve been married for 17 years. And I have a daughter. It’s been difficult to adjust to normal. Especially after being ignored or ostracized for so long due to my health.
But I made this awesome cake today. I cried as all this came rushing at me all at once. Memories of never having baked a cake because no one would dare eat what my HIV positive hands had made.
My daughter is not HIV positive. But she has eaten thousands of meals I made. Including the experiments. Lol.
I know people go through things. I just hope that one day we have a cure. I hear so many reasons why there will never be one. But I also was laughed at when I told a nurse that one day I’ll have health insurance and work. So I have hope.

Offline Bucklandbury

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  • Posts: 148
Re: I realized why I feel stupid…
« Reply #1 on: September 15, 2021, 11:43:28 pm »

I cried a little myself when I read this, and I obviously do not know you. Thank you for sharing your story.

I am glad I never had any stigma toward HIV-infected people. I have a lot of shortcomings, but thinking that having this virus makes one "less than" is not one of them.

I was hoping COVID would help a lot of folks understand that virii do not care whom they infect. We have so much further to go with the stigma around HIV, though, don't we? Very sad indeed how people delude themselves otherwise.

Offline Bucklandbury

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  • Posts: 148
Re: I realized why I feel stupid…
« Reply #2 on: September 16, 2021, 10:32:23 am »

So I cried a little when I read this last night.

We are all imperfect - and having this virus has nothing to do with any of that. We are not "unclean."

You are good and worthy.

« Last Edit: September 16, 2021, 10:46:45 am by Bucklandbury »

Offline harleymc

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,530
Re: I realized why I feel stupid…
« Reply #3 on: October 17, 2021, 04:41:35 am »
I rarely come onto this part of the forum, so apologies for leaving your post unanswered for more than a month.

Anyway it's lovely that your home baked cake was so much more than a cake. 

It's interesting the milestones that set us free from the brainwashing.


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