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Author Topic: 1 Year Anniversary  (Read 1053 times)

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Offline Day0

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1 Year Anniversary
« on: January 01, 2021, 03:01:56 am »
So yesterday Dec 30th was my one year anniversary of my positive HIV test.

Of course, with my numbers, I had been positive for quite some time and not known it.

Discovering I was HIV positive really was a whirlwind. I went from having so much hope one day to being horribly depressed the next. Unfortunately, I discovered that I was prone to apathy in which I really didn't care either way. I felt that was worse than being sad. At least being sad I felt something. But those days are few and very far between.

So a year has passed and I feel good. I dont find myself thinking about the days since that positive test. My medication is built into my daily routine-almost like brushing my teeth. I do really miss my support group that met every Friday. Unfortunately, with covid, that group was suspended-understandably and likely indefinitely.

As of today, my husband and the team of doctors, nurses, and phlebotomists are still the only people who know I am positive. I am still planning to tell my immediate family. But I will not tell them until I am undetectable. To be honest, I do not know if waiting until then is more for my benefit or theirs. Yet it feels right to me and I feel strongly that it is my choice to turn that page when I want to. I still feel very strongly about never disclosing to my work.  Though, I am still uncertain whether I will ever disclose to friends.

I don't post often, but I do come to the forums regularly. It does help a lot. One thing that people didn't tell me (including my group and my psychiatrist) is how lonely being HIV positive can feel. These forums have made it much less lonely and I am thankful for that.

So, It is day 366 since diagnosis. And I will likely not reference it by days again. That feels like progress. And that makes me smile

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: 1 Year Anniversary
« Reply #1 on: January 01, 2021, 03:39:24 am »
Hiya,

Glad to hear things are going well and that the forum at least helps somewhat with the feeling of loneliness.

How is the home renovation going? You were planning to install a new kitchen and fix up the bathroom right?

Hopefully, in 2021 we can return to some sense of normality and you can attend the support group again. 

Best, Jim
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Offline Day0

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  • Posts: 28
Re: 1 Year Anniversary
« Reply #2 on: January 01, 2021, 04:11:56 am »
Hiya,

Glad to hear things are going well and that the forum at least helps somewhat with the feeling of loneliness.

How is the home renovation going? You were planning to install a new kitchen and fix up the bathroom right?

Hopefully, in 2021 we can return to some sense of normality and you can attend the support group again. 

Best, Jim

Thanks Jim,

Unfortunately, we discovered some problems with the restroom window and the concrete under the deck cracked and leaking towards our foundation so everything was put on hold.

We've sealed the window and put a temporary patch on the concrete for now. We are now in the process of getting quotes for the concrete and the deck. In the meantime I think I'm just going to replace some fixtures in the bathroom just to feel like we've accomplished something.😁

I am tempted to just buy the tile I really liked now so im not hunting for it later.

 


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