Author Topic: Romance & Happiness - The Other Thorns (Read 10879 times)

next2u · « **on:** November 03, 2007, 11:06:08 pm »

shit, okay, so there are big intimacy/relationship phobias swimming around in my head. okay, im drowning in them and getting my diagnosis has only added despair to an already dire situation.

strange enough, since my diagnosis, ive had to change my status on the other clean gay community websites - namely adam4adam. over the course of the last 4 days ive been contacted by no less than 30 HOT men in my area. like, wow, where were you a year ago and why does god hate me so? 75% or more are negative. so i enquired why, they said safe sex is good, and they have similar interests. well, it blew my mind cause i'd been looking for some romance, or at least a blow job ninja, for a long time. all of i sudden, diagnosis, death of sex, flurry of men. go figure. but once i get over it, im happy to know there is hope and understanding (at least unrelenting sexual desire) from our neighbors on the other side of the fence.

okay, so yours truly meet a guy. a real guy. my first guy. as in i haven't had a boyfriend since high school and have been desperately seeking someone. anyhow, we will see how things work out, i have to pick him up from work tonight. i met him at a hiv support group and we hit it off. i was supposed to go to palm springs pride tonight, but instead he called. he was late for our first meeting, and we rescheduled. he told me he didnt want to inconvenience me, but i told him i wanted him to want to inconvenience me. he said the magic words, i said i would, i haven't felt this elated in years.

so, after i stopped floating on cloud nine, i went and washed my car, made a cd of music, got myself all spiffy and am now ready to go. okay, so in the middle of all of life's chaos i have found temporary shelter- relief from the storm. i hope this works out. you don't have to post to this, but please hope this works for me- it's what i've been waiting for and wanting a very long time. and yes, i will keep you posted. i want to put up a pic like that other wanker, pozguy75. ya know, of mr guy and myself all disgustingly happy. cheers!

komnaes · « **Reply #1 on:** November 03, 2007, 11:28:21 pm »

Way to go man! Just two observations: hey, first, halt using "clean" websites

second, I suspect that out of those 75% of negative folks, many are either already known pozzies but are not brave enough to change their status on their profiles, or they're "mystical negative". In any case if they don't care, and as long as the acts are safe(r), why should you care if they are + or - !

Hope you find some romance out of this fury, or at least some BJ ninjas.

Shaun

Dragonette · « **Reply #2 on:** November 04, 2007, 05:11:08 am »

Quote from: komnaes on November 03, 2007, 11:28:21 pm

Hope you find some romance out of this fury, or at least some BJ ninjas.

me too!

Iggy · « **Reply #3 on:** November 04, 2007, 11:09:56 am »

Quote from: next2u on November 03, 2007, 11:06:08 pm

i want to put up a pic like that other wanker, pozguy75. ya know, of mr guy and myself all disgustingly happy. cheers!

Ha! The truth behind that picture is that we were fighting that whole morning and He threw a chair at me, then I was about to throw him off the roof, but a couple came out on the roof deck and we smiled and hugged and then they took our picture....and as soon as they left he and I had this big fight....

Ok - actually the pic was taken on the morning of my first visit to Jeromy and after our first night together where we slept in perfect spooning position. We both knew from the second he met me at the airport that this was what we both hoped for and that we wanted to be together.

It has been absolutely incredible with him and there has also been some obstacles of our own making (mainly haste does make waste!) but the thing about it is that we recognize that though a good relationship should definitely make you feel like you are on cloud nine - you got to be careful because the rest of life resides considerably lower than that and if you aren't careful you can make a mess trying to step between both worlds.

I hope you enjoy the sanctuary and good feelings that you have found - no, don't enjoy them, dwell in them - roll around in them and savor them...but remember that even the good times require some recognization of the world around you is not always great. Hell if you are lucky, no matter how bad the world around you is, the you and the person you are with will find strength in each other and a renewed commitment every time you face reality and the relationship will only be stronger for facing it.

ALL my best,

The other wanker in Jeromy's picture.

next2u · « **Reply #4 on:** November 04, 2007, 11:19:38 pm »

wow, iggy is wanker number 2!!! the mystery has been solved. i will take your advice to heart. you two make an adorable couple by the way.

my date went kinda weird. like, there was no intimacy. plenty of conversation and a raging case of blueballs afterwards, but no intimacy. maybe im just used to hitting second base on a first date (first meeting?), but the whole handshake and a hug thing does not sit well with me. we have talked multiple times since, and have plans to meet soon (either tomorrow or the weekend). i guess im just learning how to date and its unknown territory for me. im gonna ask my dad and my brother how to go about this, they both are pretty adept at courting the ladies. i just dont know if i should let him know that tongue swapping is definitely an option, along with hearty amounts of groping above the waist.

IzPoz · « **Reply #5 on:** November 05, 2007, 06:10:43 am »

Hi N2U,

Just keep the hope alive and keep believing in yourself.

Also, you said something that caused me to want to post a response to you: "why does god hate me so?" He doesn't hate you. He's just waiting for the perfect man to introduce to you. Perfection takes time, my friend, so be patient and keep believing in your faith.

newone · « **Reply #6 on:** November 05, 2007, 06:40:04 am »

Quote from: IzPoz on November 05, 2007, 06:10:43 am

Hi N2U,

Just keep the hope alive and keep believing in yourself.

Also, you said something that caused me to want to post a response to you: "why does god hate me so?" He doesn't hate you. He's just waiting for the perfect man to introduce to you. Perfection takes time, my friend, so be patient and keep believing in your faith.

I don t know much about your GOD but mine He is not doing what I hoped for and search for a long time meanwhile I am getting more bitter and twisted by the minute.

next2u · « **Reply #7 on:** November 05, 2007, 10:37:30 pm »

yeah, we spoke today, it was kinda nice. okay, im getting a lil goofy. but you know what's stranger, my frigging adam4adam account is getting blown up. it says im poz in my profile, you can't miss it. in the last 7 days ive received 132 messages from guys (really). now, some of those are responses and conversation, but at least half of them are new. im just pissed cause i couldnt even find these fuckers a year ago.

yeah, ironic aint it? so new one, i dont know what your story is, but adam4adam has proven to be a hit for me. sure, more than 1/2 the guys there are whores, but the other half, well, they are the other half.

like new one, my faith was equally decimated by my diagnosis and the problems of the world. i wasn't faithful before, but where that lack was is now a chasm of blame directed at some distant deity. im getting better, but it's not by the grace of any being, only by my coming to terms with a disease. a disease that probably believes as much as i do. im not bitter, wait, okay im just a lil bitter. but hey, the only person to blame is myself and im slowly forgiving myself for what has happened. it was an accident, no one wants to be sick, but diseases are part of life. diseases will take the majority of our population out at sometime. and if it aint a disease, than itll be some random act of god (at least that's what my insurance company says and won't cover).

peace out and much love to you all.

Miss Philicia · « **Reply #8 on:** November 05, 2007, 10:41:32 pm »

Quote from: next2u on November 05, 2007, 10:37:30 pm

yeah, we spoke today, it was kinda nice. okay, im getting a lil goofy. but you know what's stranger, my frigging adam4adam account is getting blown up. it says im poz in my profile, you can't miss it. in the last 7 days ive received 132 messages from guys (really). now, some of those are responses and conversation, but at least half of them are new. im just pissed cause i couldnt even find these fuckers a year ago.

Maybe there's a typo under "cock size"

next2u · « **Reply #9 on:** November 05, 2007, 11:03:23 pm »

nah man, i was using your measurements : )

next2u · « **Reply #10 on:** November 05, 2007, 11:11:55 pm »

and for the naysayers...below is a copy of my profile. and the pics is g rated & above the waist.

(title) from here to you

(stats) 30, 5'9", 175lb, 34w, Average, Black Hair, Smooth, Black, Looking for Friendship, Relationship.
(profile) hello...looking for more than just sex...but will settle short of goal.
(likes) everything sports related
(stats) Casual, Out Yes, Smoke No, Drink No, Drugs No, Zodiac Libra.
(naughtiness) Versatile, Safe Sex Only, HIV Positive,
(work) employed

Matty the Damned · « **Reply #11 on:** November 05, 2007, 11:20:22 pm »

Maybe you've stumbled on a nest of bug chasers.

MtD

next2u · « **Reply #12 on:** November 05, 2007, 11:55:06 pm »

dunno matty. i ask most of them (if we exchange a flirty email or have more than a couple of exchanges) why they hit me up. they all say the same thing pretty much, im not dying, they aren't stupid, and we could still have safe fun or become friends. i also ask if they are pos (that so worked the last time) and they claim to be negative. like i said, i opened the account about a week ago and i now have 148 messages. and the dudes, damn, i could just be in heaven.

anyhow, everytime i see a post from matty a little shiver of fear races down my spine. when i first got on here you ripped me a new one, along with some of the other oldsk00lers. hehe, that's comedy, i was almost scared to read what you posted.

so here's the deal, ive singled out 2 of them, ill take it from there. they will only be friends as im dating (hopefully) some guy i meet from group. if that dont work... it's on. dude said he was looking for intimacy, and i can wait to see how it works out. i want intimacy too, and im super attracted to him. now these guys on adam4adam are hot (like down penis, down) but hot guys are a dime a dozen.

are you single matty? how has love/romance been for you?

Matty the Damned · « **Reply #13 on:** November 06, 2007, 12:14:57 am »

they claim to be negative. like i said, i opened the account about a week ago and i now have 148 messages. and the dudes, damn, i could just be in heaven.

Well I say gift 'em. That way you'll all be in heaven soon enough.

anyhow, everytime i see a post from matty a little shiver of fear races down my spine. when i first got on here you ripped me a new one, along with some of the other oldsk00lers. hehe, that's comedy, i was almost scared to read what you posted.

A wise attitude. You'll go far around here kid.

are you single matty? how has love/romance been for you?

My forums handle is "Matty the Damned" and I have post count of 4000+, of course I'm single. My love life is a litany of bitterness, substance abuse, violence and regret. Given that I'm a heartless misanthrope, I've long since resigned myself to the fact that I'll die alone.

MtD

/edited as I eschewed the indefinite article/

next2u · « **Reply #14 on:** November 06, 2007, 12:47:26 am »

ill take it you have a shitload of porn and enough lube to keep half of castro happy. i dunno damned one, you are pretty young, the rest of your life is a long time...im sure thats one hell of a lube supply...

Matty the Damned · « **Reply #15 on:** November 06, 2007, 12:48:40 am »

Lube is for sissies.

MtD

next2u · « **Reply #16 on:** November 06, 2007, 01:38:34 am »

damn matty, i don't just don't know what to say to that. the top half is laughing and the bottom half has gone into hiding.

Matty the Damned · « **Reply #17 on:** November 06, 2007, 02:11:09 am »

Anxious bottom, eh?

MtD
(Who knows that all versatiles are just reluctant bottoms)

DCGUY2007 · « **Reply #18 on:** November 06, 2007, 02:14:07 am »

Good for you "nex2u" for receiving so many responses to your ad on the Adam website. I hope things work out

Matty the Damned · « **Reply #19 on:** November 06, 2007, 02:14:40 am »

Awww, do I smell love?

MtD

milker · « **Reply #20 on:** November 06, 2007, 07:06:09 pm »

Quote from: next2u on November 05, 2007, 11:11:55 pm

and for the naysayers...below is a copy of my profile. and the pics is g rated & above the waist.

(title) from here to you

(stats) 30, 5'9", 175lb, 34w, Average, Black Hair, Smooth, Black, Looking for Friendship, Relationship.
(profile) hello...looking for more than just sex...but will settle short of goal.
(likes) everything sports related
(stats) Casual, Out Yes, Smoke No, Drink No, Drugs No, Zodiac Libra.
(naughtiness) Versatile, Safe Sex Only, HIV Positive,
(work) employed

Mine shows pics below the waist, notably my lower back

(title) poz cum milker

(stats) 6'3, 180, 32w, Looking for 1-1 sex, group, orgies, misc fetishes
(profile) hello...looking for poz tops to pound my hole and be their bitch
(likes) everything dick related
(stats) Punk, Out Yes, Smoke Heavily, Drink Heavily, Drugs No, Zodiac Bitch.
(naughtiness) Total bottom, HIV positive
(work) bitch

I only got 2 messages, maybe I should review my profile?

Hey next, i'm glad it's working for you. Maybe expand the horizon and give more than 2 out of 148 guys a chance? Profiles on sites like this don't tell much, start a conversation and you may find that someone you originally excluded may work for you.

Good luck,

Milker.

megasept · « **Reply #21 on:** November 06, 2007, 07:51:11 pm »

Quote from: komnaes on November 03, 2007, 11:28:21 pm

Way to go man! Just two observations: hey, first, halt using "clean" websites second, I suspect that out of those 75% of negative folks, many are either already known pozzies but are not brave enough to change their status on their profiles, or they're "mystical negative". In any case if they don't care, and as long as the acts are safe(r), why should you care if they are + or - !

Hope you find some romance out of this fury, or at least some BJ ninjas.

Shaun

Shaun hit it on the head (And we know he's got lots of useful sensual suggestions regarding cock rings, dildos, rubbers). Lot's of those "neg" guys know they're POZ. Some really are negative and simply want to "bareback", and figure POZ present less opposition. The rest? Who knows.

But, Adam 4 Adam is NOT a "clean website". It asks about HIV status, and members can respond or not as they choose. A majority of POZ leave it blank, a small group lies, and a much larger minority proclaim POZ. It works out pretty well. I increased my responses 300% once I stated POZ in the headline and every other place. At this moment I have a date (the real thing, not a "date". lol) on his way over. We first "met" on Pozmatch, which as far as sex or dating goes is "the sticks"...Long live the Sticks!

Dating and sex sites are a good way to get back into your sexual groove while being open about POZ status. Raunch , romance , fetish , companionship , whatever floats your boat. The more sites you try the more effective your "trawling".

-megasept

Miss Philicia · « **Reply #22 on:** November 06, 2007, 07:56:48 pm »

Maybe next2u is just really cute and boys flock... though that doesn't explain the fact that his positive listing is like fly paper.

I may have to throw in with the esteemed matty's decision that these are bug chasers.

northernguy · « **Reply #23 on:** November 06, 2007, 09:48:39 pm »

Quote from: matty.the.damned on November 06, 2007, 02:14:40 am

Awww, do I smell love?

MtD

Perhaps the smell is just the result of no lube

next2u · « **Reply #24 on:** November 07, 2007, 12:37:07 am »

awww, i love the smell of raunch in the air...

hey, seriously, i got 3 phone numbers the other day from some neg guys. i suspect a good number are in denial. i can't fathom the mindset of a bug chaser so ive eliminated those from the group. got 5 more hits today. anyhow, its pointless. i've been talking to do from group and we are gonna go play catch/baseball this weekend. im soo getting goober over this guy.

so below is the pic from my profile.

don't give me any shit, the head shot is private. this pic is from 4 months ago (when i was poz & didn't know it). this was also my heaviest - 180 lbs. now im like 178, but that's mostly comfort food consumption post diagnosis.

oh, milker, you can change your profile on adam4adam if you want, but i love it the way it is. besides, if someones gonna follow through, itll be less weeding - keep it real man.

next2u · « **Reply #25 on:** November 07, 2007, 12:43:10 am »

Quote from: matty.the.damned on November 06, 2007, 02:11:09 am

Anxious bottom, eh?

MtD
(Who knows that all versatiles are just reluctant bottoms)

so not true damned one. i am not a reluctant bottom. i just have a thing with cleanliness and hormones. basically, i like my sexual partners to be "prepared" before doing the deed. if they are not, then i will take it for the team. beside, im much to aggressive to be considered a bottom and don't like receiving all that much. maybe some of us just love it all. but i do suspect that a lot of vers peeps are reluctant bottoms.

so i have to ask, is this the category you fall into damned one?

Matty the Damned · « **Reply #26 on:** November 07, 2007, 12:46:08 am »

Oh, I'm an eager bottom babe. I can and do top when the need arises, but I far prefer being the one who takes it up the rear from another one.

Catholic boarding school taught me many things.

MtD

komnaes · « **Reply #27 on:** November 07, 2007, 02:38:54 am »

Now, the photo explains everything then..

Seriously I think most of those self-claimed neg folks are probably in the mystical negative category, much as I was for a short while before my diagnosis.

Quote from: matty.the.damned on November 07, 2007, 12:46:08 am

Catholic boarding school taught me many things.

I was sent to a catholic boarding school too. How come I wasn't taught those things? I should ask my money back!

Shaun

Matty the Damned · « **Reply #28 on:** November 07, 2007, 03:54:36 am »

How come I wasn't taught those things?

Were you a fattie?

MtD

komnaes · « **Reply #29 on:** November 07, 2007, 04:25:53 am »

Quote from: matty.the.damned on November 07, 2007, 03:54:36 am

Were you a fattie?

No, I was already too obvious by the age of 7. No point of "abusing" the willing.. take away the fun.

Matty the Damned · « **Reply #30 on:** November 07, 2007, 05:03:31 am »

Sissy-boi, eh?

Ah well never mind dear. I'm sure you've made up for it since.

Now say 14 Hail Mary's . . . .

MtD

tendai · « **Reply #31 on:** November 07, 2007, 07:58:49 am »

u look good next2u. no wonder they're after u in packs

next2u · « **Reply #32 on:** November 07, 2007, 10:03:00 pm »

dude, i want to know what you were taught in catholic school. 14 hail bloody marys.

the boy and me have another date set up. its just great. we are both poz and i can't wait to get in his pants. i know thats so wrong, cause i really want intimacy, but damn it, i haven't been laid since march 30th and baby needs some loving. i know we will wait for the act, but shit, there are plenty of other things we can do. can you say massage? how about frottage? hehehehe, damn it, i can't wait. seriously, we havent even kissed yet but we are texting every day and talking almost every other day. he even smells good...

that's a good sign, right?

pozgroup · « **Reply #33 on:** November 07, 2007, 11:02:33 pm »

Quote from: komnaes on November 03, 2007, 11:28:21 pm

Way to go man! Just two observations: hey, first, halt using "clean" websites second, I suspect that out of those 75% of negative folks, many are either already known pozzies but are not brave enough to change their status on their profiles, or they're "mystical negative". In any case if they don't care, and as long as the acts are safe(r), why should you care if they are + or - !

Hope you find some romance out of this fury, or at least some BJ ninjas.

Shaun

According to the CDC, there are over 65 million Americans currently living with an STD, 19 million new STD infections each year, one in three sexually active men and women living with Herpes, and about 50% of all sexually active Americans affected by HPV.

Are those 75% really "clean" ?

next2u · « **Reply #34 on:** November 10, 2007, 10:02:43 pm »

so... we had our date today. i picked him up and we went shopping and caught a really horrible movie. we saw 30 nights of darkness, which sucked. i fell asleep twice during the horrid flick. i dunno, now that im on this side of the fence, watching movies about people who are altered after being exposed to certain blood agents just chaps my hide. especially when the movie/show is poorly done (heroes, you are excused).

so we held hands during the movie (my second time ever!). i tried to get him to leave the movie early but he wanted to see the frigging ending. finally i got him to go then and we went to an empty theatre room and made out like teenagers. then we held each other for sooooooo long - damn, he smells good. gosh. this man is so awesome. hopefully that gushy & gooey pic will be posted soon. thank you everyone who wished me well, it must have paid off!

oh, and he thinks im hott. he said he noticed me the first time he saw me at our poz group. i so don't believe him, but awww, it was so sweet. we held hands all the way home and kissed again before i dropped him off. damn it, this dude has me giggling like a school girl- and im loving every minute of it.

wassup with you & your love life? i know matty is out there breaking hearts, queen is sampling the latin love, cindy is spicing up the poz mag, and jeromy & iggy are being adorable (they totally need a name, like jermiggy or something), whats up with the rest of yall?

Matty the Damned · « **Reply #35 on:** November 10, 2007, 10:09:22 pm »

You went through all of that and you still didn't get fucked?

MtD

milker · « **Reply #36 on:** November 10, 2007, 10:36:21 pm »

Quote from: next2u on November 10, 2007, 10:02:43 pm

i tried to get him to leave the movie early but he wanted to see the frigging ending.

First time I read "the fingering ending" and I was eager to see the rest of the post. I was disappointed.

Milker.

Miss Philicia · « **Reply #37 on:** November 10, 2007, 10:57:51 pm »

Quote from: next2u on November 10, 2007, 10:02:43 pm

so we held hands during the movie (my second time ever!).

I once went on a first date to Terminator 2 with a hot Cuban guy, Ricardo, and the theater was completely full -- yet he insisted on having his index finger lodged up in my anus the whole time... well, except when he take it out and smell it and then look over at me with this mischievous grin.

He was such a pervert.... horribly endearing though and hot as hell. And a quite good professional photographer.

A decade later I ran into him at a chi chi party and he came up to me and said "ARE YOU SICK?" which was the first time my myth of lipo denial came shattering down around me in public. It was quite traumatizing.

That ass.

MOONLIGHT1114 · « **Reply #38 on:** November 11, 2007, 12:50:48 am »

Hi next~

I read this thread about a week ago and just got back to it tonight. I have wanted to post here, but have felt it was for you guys only. Ironic, because I have just found myself a new BF. We have seen each other 5 times in the past 8 days, and yes, I am giggling like a school girl, too!

You sucked face in an empty theater? Oooooh, now THERE's an idea!

I didn't get many responses to my ad in the magazine, but rather agreed to the spotlight to inspire newbies. I wanted them to see my smiling face and "Diagnosed in 1993" under my pic. It goes to show that with perseverance, faith and even a little luck, I have learned that life is not over for me.

So, yes, I think its safe to say I am "falling for Iceman" and I am very content. Its his birthday today 11/11, and we are going to celebrate later tonight.

Best of luck to all of you seeking true love, and congrats to those of you who have found it.

~Cindy

poz1970 · « **Reply #39 on:** November 11, 2007, 09:10:18 am »

Quote from: matty.the.damned on November 06, 2007, 12:14:57 am

My forums handle is "Matty the Damned" and I have post count of 4000+, of course I'm single. My love life is a litany of bitterness, substance abuse, violence and regret. Given that I'm a heartless misanthrope, I've long since resigned myself to the fact that I'll die alone.

MtD

/edited as I eschewed the indefinite article/

But can you cook?
J

northernguy · « **Reply #40 on:** November 11, 2007, 11:29:44 am »

Quote from: philly267 on November 10, 2007, 10:57:51 pm

I once went on a first date to Terminator 2 with a hot Cuban guy, Ricardo, and the theater was completely full -- yet he insisted on having his index finger lodged up in my anus the whole time... well, except when he take it out and smell it and then look over at me with this mischievous grin.

He was such a pervert.... horribly endearing though and hot as hell. And a quite good professional photographer.

A decade later I ran into him at a chi chi party and he came up to me and said "ARE YOU SICK?" which was the first time my myth of lipo denial came shattering down around me in public. It was quite traumatizing.

That ass.

So like the colonel, you're fimger-lickin' good?

Miss Philicia · « **Reply #41 on:** November 11, 2007, 04:45:24 pm »

Quote from: northernguy on November 11, 2007, 11:29:44 am

So like the colonel, you're fimger-lickin' good?

I guess. I've always seemed to encounter a lot of ass-licking fanatics. They don't even care if it's clean or not.

I used to meet some really odd boys. Now I'm just an Old Maid.

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Author Topic: Romance & Happiness - The Other Thorns (Read 10879 times)

tendai