POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => Living With HIV => Topic started by: WhereIsTheArk on December 05, 2010, 09:28:48 am
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I'm initiating the first steps of a possible relationship with this REALLY nice guy I just met recently! It's amazing, yet kind of uncomfortable for me, knowing he doesn't care that I'm poz. I guess I'm just not used to that kind of unconditional affection. I'm nervous, though too because if everything works out, it'll be only the second real relationship I've ever been in. Technically, I've been in a long distance relationship, with a poz guy, since I've been diagnosed, which has been a little over a year, and we are yet to meet face to face. Also, we are just drifting apart, so I don't count it as a real relationship. I'm just worried that, eventually, this new guy is going to stray away from me, and reconsider wanting to associate with me because of my HIV status. So far, it doesn't seem that way, but I will make sure to not put my hopes up.
I never thought I'd ever date a HIV negative person after being diagnosed. So, I don't know how I really feel about it. If I'd rather be with someone who really understands what I'm going through, with whom I can face potential HIV related hardships together, someone who is also HIV positive. I'm trying to weigh out the pros and cons of either. I don't even know if I'm making any sense.... :(
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Good luck with that. Many 'neg' guys will say they understand and have no problem with dating a 'poz' guy but a few months down the road they suddenly can't deal. I hope in your case it is different.
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Just allow yourself to date and see where it goes.
You are deserve some happiness in this life!
Take it day to day.
Hoover
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Just allow yourself to date and see where it goes.
You are deserve some happiness in this life!
Take it day to day.
Hoover
Great advice Hoover... and I totally agree. Having HIV won't change the fact that at the root of it all dating is just complicated. Ofcourse it's easier to blame a failed relationship on HIV, but really I think in any relationship sometimes they just fizzle out. No fault.
So good luck! Already you are ahead of me. I'm currently in the beginning stages of dating again myself and I have yet to disclose to any potential "datees" lol. So congrats and keep us posted on how it goes :)
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Hi,
My opinion Is that I would go for it. I have been "poz" since Jan 2010. My partner is negative and we are still together. Been together for 31 years. He has helped me emotionally and financially while I am waitting for my SSDI claim. To me and my partner it does not matter what status we are in. It's the bond and love that we have for each other. So I would go for it. It might turn out to be the love of your life. Hoover said it good. We all deserve some happiness this life even if we are "poz". ;D
Aloha and good luck
I'm initiating the first steps of a possible relationship with this REALLY nice guy I just met recently! It's amazing, yet kind of uncomfortable for me, knowing he doesn't care that I'm poz. I guess I'm just not used to that kind of unconditional affection. I'm nervous, though too because if everything works out, it'll be only the second real relationship I've ever been in. Technically, I've been in a long distance relationship, with a poz guy, since I've been diagnosed, which has been a little over a year, and we are yet to meet face to face. Also, we are just drifting apart, so I don't count it as a real relationship. I'm just worried that, eventually, this new guy is going to stray away from me, and reconsider wanting to associate with me because of my HIV status. So far, it doesn't seem that way, but I will make sure to not put my hopes up.
I never thought I'd ever date a HIV negative person after being diagnosed. So, I don't know how I really feel about it. If I'd rather be with someone who really understands what I'm going through, with whom I can face potential HIV related hardships together, someone who is also HIV positive. I'm trying to weigh out the pros and cons of either. I don't even know if I'm making any sense.... :(
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I've been dating a negative guy for about a year now. I really lucked out in that he was medically knowledgeable, but that isn't to say he never has his moments of concern. Sometimes he'll get sick, and we'll have a day or two of panic. But we are always safe - ALWAYS - and he gets tested every three or four months. In the first few months, he would occasionally get upset about the status, but more of a situation like "I hate that you have this, I hate that you let yourself get this." I appreciated his honesty, and he still loves me, and I love him, he was just being honest. In time, it just fades into the background. I think that if you can get over the initial hurdle of disclosure, your chances of success really won't be any different than if you were both negative. Remember, most relationships are doomed to fail, that's just life. I think a lot of poz gay guys think that if a guy isn't interested in them, it's only because they are poz, but I can certainly remember getting my fair share of rejection when I was negative - just keep that in mind.
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;D Have the best day
Michael