Darrit2022 - Intro

[Darrit2022]

I will be your friend. I just found out when I was in prison. And have only been home for a little over 2 weeks and have a problem sharing and relating with other people now. How old are you? I just turned 34 a couple days ago.

[Jim Allen]

Hi Darrit.

Sorry to hear about the HIV diagnosis, I've split & merged your post into its own thread as it's standard to have an introduction thread as a new member and we don't post our own issues in other members threads as a rule.

[Darrit2022]

Hi there. I just found out in February and still trying to deal with it. I'm on biktarvy and it's worked fast and efficiently. I went from a viral load of 34,000 to undetectable in 5 weeks. I'm sad to say I found out in prison and have just recently been released and have only been home for a few weeks. I have only told my parents and one other person but am just scared of the reaction of others. I'm terrified of being treated like I have the plague or am a leper. I fear my love life is over. My husband is in prison but we were separated before we got locked up. He still doesn't know and I don't plan on telling him because I know how he would respond. When you guys tell your partners how do you soften the blow so to speak or how do you find people who understand and accept it without judgement? Could really use some encouragement..

[Jim Allen]

Hiya,

Glad to hear the treatment is working well at suppressing the viral load. The added benefit of having a suppressed viral load is once you have suppressed it for 6+ months you can't sexually pass on the virus. 

See https://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=71848.0

I'm terrified of being treated like I have the plague or am a leper. I fear my love life is over. My husband is in prison but we were separated before we got locked up. He still doesn't know and I don't plan on telling him because I know how he would respond. When you guys tell your partners how do you soften the blow so to speak or how do you find people who understand and accept it without judgement?

Ultimately, you can't control someone's reaction, all you can do is try to deliver the message as calm as possible. Now, some people are assholes, nothing you can do about that and you will have to deal with them from time to time if you share your HIV status.

Before sharing your HIV status, you should ask yourself the question; Do I have to share my status and if not then why do it? i.e,  what are you hoping to get out of telling people?

My experience though is being calm and to the point works best, be prepared that people might ask questions. There is also a poz article on sharing your HIV status in different situations that might help https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/disclosure

As for having a love life, my HIV status has never been a roadblock. Had maybe one or two "no thank you" over the years but mainly people shrugged their shoulders before getting down and dirty