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Author Topic: New Australian Citizenship Test  (Read 3707 times)

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Offline fearless

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,191
New Australian Citizenship Test
« on: December 10, 2008, 04:45:06 pm »
This is likely to go over most people's heads, but I'm sure Jan, RuralOz and Dasch will at least appreciate it.

The new AUSTRALIAN CITIZEN VALUES TEST

LANGUAGE

1. Do you understand the meaning, but are unable to explain the origin, of the term 'died in the arse'?
2. What is a mole?
3. Are these terms related: chuck a sickie; chuck a spaz; chuck a U-ey?
4. Explain the following passage: 'In the arvo last Chrissy the relos rocked up for a barbie, some bevvies and a few snags. After a bit of a Bex and a lie down we opened the pressies, scoffed all the chockies, bickies and lollies. Then we drained a few tinnies and Mum did her block after Dad and Steve had a barney and a bit of biffo.'

CUSTOMS
 
1. Macca, Chooka and Wanger are driving to Surfers in their Torana. If they are travelling at 100 km/h while listening to Barnsey, Farnsey and Acca Dacca, how many slabs will each person on average consume between flashing a brown eye and having a slash?
2. Complete the following sentences: a) 'If the van's rockin' don't bother … b) You're going home in the back of a … c) Fair suck of the …
3. I've had a gutful and I can't be fagged. Discuss
4. Have you ever been on the giving or receiving end of a wedgie?
5. Do you have a friend or relative who has a car in their front yard 'up on blocks'? Is his name Keith and does he have a wife called Cheryl?
 
FOOD
 
1. Does your family regularly eat a dish involving mincemeat, cabbage, curry powder and a packet of chicken noodle soup called either chow mein, chop suey or kai see ming?
2. What are the ingredients in a rissole?
3. Demonstrate the correct procedure for eating a Tim Tam.
4. Do you have an Aunty Myrna who is famous for her tuna mornay and other dishes involving a can of cream of celery soup?
5. In any two-hour period have you ever eaten three-bean salad, a chop and two serves of pav washed down with someone else's beer that has been nicked from a bath full of ice?
6. When you go to a bring- your-own-meat barbie can you eat other people's meat or are you only allowed to eat your own?
7. What purple root vegetable beginning with the letter 'b' is required by law to be included in a hamburger with the lot?

CULTURE   

1. Do you own or have you ever owned a lawn mower, a pair of thongs, an Esky or Ugg boots?
2. Is it possible to 'prang a car' while doing 'circle work'?
3. Who would you like to crack on to?
4. Who is the most Australian: Kevin 'Bloody' Wilson, John 'True Blue' Williamson, Kylie Minogue or Warnie?
5. Is there someone you are only mates with because they own a trailer or have a pool?
6. Would you love to have a beer with Duncan?
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Be forgiving, be grateful, be optimistic

Offline red_Dragon888

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,845
  • Love and Be Love in Return
Re: New Australian Citizenship Test
« Reply #1 on: December 10, 2008, 04:47:33 pm »
 ???
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Off Crystal Meth since May 13, 2013.  In recovery with 20 months clean time.

Offline anniebc

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  • Posts: 6,185
  • AM member since 2003
Re: New Australian Citizenship Test
« Reply #2 on: December 10, 2008, 05:32:55 pm »
LOL...I passed the test with flying colors back in 1988, and cracked a few tinnies that day.

Hugs
Jan :-*
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Offline Ric Wilke

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  • Posts: 573
  • I joined AIDSmed.com 10/2002.
Re: New Australian Citizenship Test
« Reply #3 on: December 10, 2008, 07:12:19 pm »
Okay.  Who do I have to sleep with to get the answers?  Answers, we need answers!
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Offline md

  • Member
  • Posts: 196
Re: New Australian Citizenship Test
« Reply #4 on: December 10, 2008, 11:38:45 pm »
Is it still mandatory to have a criminal conviction before you can become an Australian citizen?  ???
 
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Offline Rural_oz

  • Member
  • Posts: 47
Re: New Australian Citizenship Test
« Reply #5 on: December 10, 2008, 11:56:14 pm »
All makes perfect sense to me mate.....

Quote from: Ric Wilke on December 10, 2008, 07:12:19 pm
Okay.  Who do I have to sleep with to get the answers?  Answers, we need answers!

Try me Ric  :-* :-* :-*

And before we get into Aussie bashing, let me tell you that it was a good ol' New Yorker that told me (and I quote) "You speak good English for an Australian".    :o

Don't chuck a wobbly, I luv yous all.....
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Offline fearless

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,191
Re: New Australian Citizenship Test
« Reply #6 on: December 11, 2008, 01:42:46 am »
Quote from: md on December 10, 2008, 11:38:45 pm
Is it still mandatory to have a criminal conviction before you can become an Australian citizen?  ???
 

you crack me up. i'm in stitches.  ::)
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Be forgiving, be grateful, be optimistic

Offline Mouse

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,463
  • Om nom nom.
Re: New Australian Citizenship Test
« Reply #7 on: December 11, 2008, 10:47:20 am »
I didn't realize until now how badly Matty has corrupted me.
 :D
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Offline scud44

  • Member
  • Posts: 393
  • I am watching you
Re: New Australian Citizenship Test
« Reply #8 on: December 11, 2008, 10:41:57 pm »
Hey Fearless, I think they have gone into stunned silence!
You might have to do the edukashun bit for them!!!

...and don't come the raw prawn with any of them!!!!!!

XXXXX
Scuddles
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CD4 = 96 - 4th Sept 2007
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June 2010 and nothing has improved

Offline komnaes

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  • Posts: 1,906
Re: New Australian Citizenship Test
« Reply #9 on: December 11, 2008, 11:20:11 pm »
Can someone assure me that this isn't a REAL test please...  ;D

I actually know chuck-a-sickie...

And for food, I will never forget that thing you Aussies called "Shaomei", which for us is a little tiny steamed dumpling with pork. A friend took me to the Chinatown in Melbourne and ordered this in a restaurant, which turned out to be a large deep flied ball of pork the size of my fist!
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Aug 07 Diagnosed
Oct 07 CD4=446(19%) Feb 08 CD4=421(19%)
Jun 08 CD4=325(22%) Jul 08 CD4=301(18%)
Sep 08 CD4=257/VL=75,000 Oct 08 CD4=347(16%)
Dec 08 CD4=270(16%)
Jan 09 CD4=246(13%)/VL=10,000
Feb 09 CD4=233(15%)/VL=13,000
Started meds Sustiva/Epzicom
May 09 CD4=333(24%)/VL=650
Aug 09 CD4=346(24%)/VL=UD
Nov 09 CD4=437(26%)/VL=UD
Feb 10 CD4=471(31%)/VL=UD
June 10 CD4=517 (28%)/VL=UD
Sept 10 CD4=687 (31%)/VL=UD
Jan 11 CD4=557 (30%)/VL=UD
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Switched to Epizcom, Reyataz and Norvir
(Interrupted for 2 months with only Epizcom & Reyataz)
July 11 CD=520 (28%)/VL=UD
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April 12 CD=609 (28%)/VL=UD(<20)
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Jan 14 CD=521 (21%)/VL=UD(<50)

Offline skeebo1969

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  • Posts: 5,931
Re: New Australian Citizenship Test
« Reply #10 on: December 12, 2008, 12:29:08 am »
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I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline fearless

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,191
Re: New Australian Citizenship Test
« Reply #11 on: December 12, 2008, 12:43:23 am »
Quote from: komnaes on December 11, 2008, 11:20:11 pm
Can someone assure me that this isn't a REAL test please...  ;D

I actually know chuck-a-sickie...

And for food, I will never forget that thing you Aussies called "Shaomei", which for us is a little tiny steamed dumpling with pork. A friend took me to the Chinatown in Melbourne and ordered this in a restaurant, which turned out to be a large deep flied ball of pork the size of my fist!

I've never actually heard of a Shaomei. Maybe it's a Melbourne thing. I only know of the cute little steamed dumplings which we simply call steamed pork dumplings.

And, no Shaun, it's not real but is taking the piss out of the real one which the conservatives introduced which did ask ridiculous things like who is Don Bradman?

Answers will follow shortly.
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Be forgiving, be grateful, be optimistic

Offline komnaes

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,906
Re: New Australian Citizenship Test
« Reply #12 on: December 12, 2008, 12:48:30 am »
Haha... thanks matey..

I kind of look forward to the answers to in particularly "who's more Aussie" and "do you want a beer with Duncan".. I used to know a very hot Malay Aussie who played rugby .. so cute and studly, especially with his accent.. and his name is Duncan.. ;D
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Aug 07 Diagnosed
Oct 07 CD4=446(19%) Feb 08 CD4=421(19%)
Jun 08 CD4=325(22%) Jul 08 CD4=301(18%)
Sep 08 CD4=257/VL=75,000 Oct 08 CD4=347(16%)
Dec 08 CD4=270(16%)
Jan 09 CD4=246(13%)/VL=10,000
Feb 09 CD4=233(15%)/VL=13,000
Started meds Sustiva/Epzicom
May 09 CD4=333(24%)/VL=650
Aug 09 CD4=346(24%)/VL=UD
Nov 09 CD4=437(26%)/VL=UD
Feb 10 CD4=471(31%)/VL=UD
June 10 CD4=517 (28%)/VL=UD
Sept 10 CD4=687 (31%)/VL=UD
Jan 11 CD4=557 (30%)/VL=UD
April 11 CD4=569 (32%)/VL=UD
Switched to Epizcom, Reyataz and Norvir
(Interrupted for 2 months with only Epizcom & Reyataz)
July 11 CD=520 (28%)/VL=UD
Oct 11 CD=771 (31%)/VL=UD(<30)
April 12 CD=609 (28%)/VL=UD(<20)
Aug 12 CD=657 (29%)/VL=UD(<20)
Dec 12 CD=532 (31%)/VL=UD(<20)
May 13 CD=567 (31%)/VL=UD(<20)
Jan 14 CD=521 (21%)/VL=UD(<50)

Offline marc11864

  • Member
  • Posts: 440
  • I apologize for nothing!
Re: New Australian Citizenship Test
« Reply #13 on: December 12, 2008, 12:52:44 am »
Do I need to know any of this if I only intend to visit?  ???
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Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,530
  • 36 years positive, 64 years a pain in the butt
Re: New Australian Citizenship Test
« Reply #14 on: December 12, 2008, 01:00:49 am »
The only live Aussie I know is Jan.  ;D

I read through that test twice. Didn't understand a flippin thing it asked, except the van a rockin thing. We've used that here - or did a few years ago.

HUGS,

Mark

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"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline Rural_oz

  • Member
  • Posts: 47
Re: New Australian Citizenship Test
« Reply #15 on: December 12, 2008, 02:19:06 pm »
Fearless, may I translate one passage for our foreign friends.....

'In the arvo last Chrissy the relos rocked up for a barbie, some bevvies and a few snags. After a bit of a Bex and a lie down we opened the pressies, scoffed all the chockies, bickies and lollies. Then we drained a few tinnies and Mum did her block after Dad and Steve had a barney and a bit of biffo.'

In the afternoon, last Christmas, the aunts, uncles and extended family members arrived for an outdoor meal cooked on a Barbeque, some alcoholic drinks and some meat in edible casings.  After a rest, we opened all of the Christmas presents, and ate a large amount of chocolates, cookies and candies.  Then we drank some beer from cans and Mom got very angry after Dad and Steve had an argument and a small punch-up.

There's one cleared up for you all.

BTW I have never heard of a Shaomei either, although a "dogs eye and dead horse" is always good.
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