Ann and Andy, need your wisdom!

[Jakester1775]

Hi Everybody, certified worry well here who desperately needs some advice. I have always been extremely careful in regards to sex, but last night something that's never happened, happened. I engaged in unprotected oral, both giving and receiving, with a man of unknown status. After the encounter, I went to the rest room to urinate and noticed the inside of the opening of my penis was very red, inflamed, and irritated. It was painful and possibly bleeding a bit. This morning I have what appears to be a puncture wound and small blemish in the area. So, basically I received oral sex with an open would on my penis, probably from him being a bit too rough. I know you guys state receiving oral is never a risk for HIV, but does an open wound/cut or even just inflammation and redness change that assessment? As for giving oral, I did brush my teeth before giving oral and my gums tend to bleed alittle, so now I am worried my gums might have still been a bit damaged. Does this increase my risk? He did not ejaculate in my mouth, but I am sure there was pre-cum exposure. Finally, we did a lot of deep kissing and rubbing, including me rubbing my penis around his anus. Is any of this a significant risk? We ended with my ejaculating on his face and mouth and his ejaculating on my body. We talked afterward and he admitted being very sexually active and engaging in some risky behavior. He assured me he was HIV negative but has been diagnosed and treated for STD's in the past. I am assuming he is a pretty high risk partner, therefore my anxiety level is through the roof. Thanks so much in advance, Jake.

[sorryass]

Jakester1775.

Don't know how this happened, but your profile came up when I signed in, in my User Box.  So, I clicked your name, it went to your profile, so out of curiosity, I clicked your last post.  Looks like it was addressed to Ann and andy.

Maybe it was just meant to be, but my 2 cents worth would be to go to the hospital explain the situation and they very well may start you on a prevention round of meds.  THEY WORK!  But you must do it ASAP.  Thats my 2 cents.

Go for it, all the best Bertram.

[Joe K]

Sorryass, only authorized members of the forum are allowed to post in this forum.  Please read the introduction thread at the top of this forum.

[Andy Velez]

Sorryass, never mind with your two cents. Please follow the rule of the site. Only those who are authorized to do so may respond to questions in this Forum.

Thanks for your cooperation.

[Andy Velez]

Hi Everybody, certified worry well here who desperately needs some advice. I have always been extremely careful in regards to sex, but last night something that's never happened, happened. I engaged in unprotected oral, both giving and receiving, with a man of unknown status. After the encounter, I went to the rest room to urinate and noticed the inside of the opening of my penis was very red, inflamed, and irritated. It was painful and possibly bleeding a bit. This morning I have what appears to be a puncture wound and small blemish in the area. So, basically I received oral sex with an open would on my penis, probably from him being a bit too rough. I know you guys state receiving oral is never a risk for HIV, but does an open wound/cut or even just inflammation and redness change that assessment? As for giving oral, I did brush my teeth before giving oral and my gums tend to bleed alittle, so now I am worried my gums might have still been a bit damaged. Does this increase my risk? He did not ejaculate in my mouth, but I am sure there was pre-cum exposure. Finally, we did a lot of deep kissing and rubbing, including me rubbing my penis around his anus. Is any of this a significant risk? We ended with my ejaculating on his face and mouth and his ejaculating on my body. We talked afterward and he admitted being very sexually active and engaging in some risky behavior. He assured me he was HIV negative but has been diagnosed and treated for STD's in the past. I am assuming he is a pretty high risk partner, therefore my anxiety level is through the roof. Thanks so much in advance, Jake.

Bottom line in this incident is you are worrying needlessly about HIV. Nothing you are reporting put you at risk.

Your saliva has over a dozen elements and proteins which very effectively prevent the transmission of viable HIV. As for receiving oral, which is one of the most common of sexual acts, in the entire history of the epidemic there has never been a single confirmed case of transmission to a guy through his getting a blowjob. Not one and it's safe to say you are not going to make history by becoming the first. Including with sores and whatever on your penis.

Rubbing a penis against an anus is not a risk. Risk is sexually is about unprotected insertive sex, anally and vaginally.

Again, nothing you are describing put you at risk nor is the any need for HIV testing.

Get on with your life.

[Jakester1775]

Andy,

Thanks for your advice, but smartass mentioned something about going to speak with a doctor. I apologize, but I am a bit confused by his answer and yours. I have no experience with HIV, so does my risk warrant talking to someone about PEP? Should I go to the ER immediately? I am still within the 72 hour window period, but its rapidly approaching its end. I am very worried about the giving and receiving oral sex, given the circumstances (penis inflammation/redness/possible open wound) and my gums. Any clarification would be greatly appreciated. I did speak with the guy and he was very cool about reassuring me that he was HIV free. He told me he is very sexually active, but only engages in oral sex. He even mentioned that he routinely swallows, but never felt worried himself. Also, that he has had STD's in the recent past, but took the doctor prescribed medications. I feel a bit better but just really confused by the answers. Thank-you guys again!

[Andy Velez]

How much clearly can I repeat that you absolutely did not have a risk for HIV transmission. NO RISK!

No you don't need to do PEP. Absolutely not. It's very unfortunate that Smartass stepped in to make a comment which he is not authorized to. One of the major reasons only authorized persons are to respond here is exactly this situation, where someone who doesn't have knowledge shoots his mouth off and ends up stirring up more unncessary fear in someone who's already worried. And worried without reason.

You can do PEP, you can get tested but both would be totally unnecessary. Period.

[Jakester1775]

Andy, I apologize if my asking for clarification was in any way offensive. It definitely was not my intention to question your expertise, especially when I explicitly requested yours and Anne's advice. I just have a lot of anxiety and that first post didn't help. I think you clarified everything in your second post and the confusion is hopefully all cleared up on my end. If Ann has any further insight I'd love to hear from her. You guys are definitely the rockstar's of this forum and I think everyone takes to heart your advice. I will not seek PEP as it seems from reading other posts that the side effects out-weight the need in my case. Thanks for the comfort and support.

[Ann]

Jake,

If Andy was upset by anyone, he was upset by sorryass who posted incorrect information. When people do that, it just makes our job harder so it's very annoying. That's why only certain people are permitted to respond in this forum.

I agree with Andy that you did not have a risk for hiv infection. Not only is saliva not infectious, but it also contains over a dozen different proteins and enzymes that damage hiv and render it unable to infect.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO SPECIFICALLY TEST OVER YOUR RECENT CONCERNS, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann

[Jakester1775]

Andy and Ann, again I want to really thank you for the advice you have given. I truly appreciate the time you and all the others on this forum take out of your lives to help those of us who worry so much. I would also like to add Ann that I really enjoyed reading your explanation of HIV's survivability, once outside the body. That post really put into perspective how in my circumstance, and many others, the impossibility of infection actually taking place. Also, JK's pointing out that the infections on this site are from anal and vaginal intercourse and a needle sticks really shows where most of us do worry needlessly. Thank you all for being the voice of reason when we sometimes lose sight of it. Jake

[Ann]

Jake,

You're welcome. Keep using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse - and don't share drug injecting equipment - and you will be well protected against hiv and other STIs as well.

Ann

[Jakester1775]

Andy and Ann, Sorry, but one last question if you dont mind. I spoke with my doctor about this incident and she was very helpful, basically agreeing with everything you guys said. She did however, recommend a full STD screening. She told me that other STD's are easily passed via oral sex whereas HIV is not. I know this is not an STD forum, but would the presence of an STD, either before the oral was given or if the person giving had an std and passed it to me, increase the risk of HIV infection or is oral sex still no risk. I would think if you are infected by something like Chlamydia or Gonorrhea then it would be almost certain HIV would transmit right? Or are they different? Thanks

[Andy Velez]

Andy and Ann, Sorry, but one last question if you dont mind. I spoke with my doctor about this incident and she was very helpful, basically agreeing with everything you guys said. She did however, recommend a full STD screening. She told me that other STD's are easily passed via oral sex whereas HIV is not. I know this is not an STD forum, but would the presence of an STD, either before the oral was given or if the person giving had an std and passed it to me, increase the risk of HIV infection or is oral sex still no risk. I would think if you are infected by something like Chlamydia or Gonorrhea then it would be almost certain HIV would transmit right? Or are they different? Thanks

Chlamydia is NOT an HIV-specific illness. occurence if you happen to have it. Having an active STD such as gonorrhea would affect your immune system but would not mean that HIV transmission would be a certainty if it is present in the other person. And yes, other STDs can be passed through oral sex.

A full STD screening is a good idea to do regularly if you are sexually active. That means doing it at least once a year.

And as far as anything you have reported, you STILL did not have a risk for HIV.

[Jakester1775]

Thanks Andy, it just seemed alittle nuts to me when she said receiving oral is safe, regardless of the presence of an std in either person.

[Andy Velez]

Well receiving oral is safe in relation to HIV even if the person has another STD.

But other STDs can be passed through receiving oral.