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Author Topic: For years Anger was my management..now I'm so depressed..go back to anger?  (Read 4455 times)

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Offline Navlysa

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  • Posts: 10
For years Anger was my management..now I'm so depressed..go back to anger?
« on: December 01, 2016, 10:18:59 pm »
Hi,

I've been poz for over 20 years now... I nearly died of AIDS 20 years
ago... But I got extremely pissed off and decided not to die and
managed to struggle through... I stayed angry for at least a decade
alienated friends, family, and my partner... When I finally decided to
let the anger go, I pretty much had to start over, alone and desperate
for some one to love me I ended up in a horrible relationship that lasted 5 years and nearly killed me again when it finally ended...

Then I found the man of my dreams, or so I thought... He said all the
right things, he didn't mind my condition, he treated me like a
Princess... That lasted a few of months, long enough to tear down
all my walls and make me believe in happily ever after... Then it all
started to change... He no longer wants to talk, he no longer wants
to make love, he still wants to cuddle and he still loves me, but
nothing like it was in the beginning... I can live without sex, but
lack of communication is killing me... I thought I'd found my
soulmate but honestly it doesn't feel that way anymore... It feels like
I'm here to cook, clean, and keep him warm... My needs are
irrelevant... He says "you have a car to drive and a roof over your
head, that's all you need!" No... I need the man I fell in love with...

Anyway it's all got me feeling like I survived, I peaked, and I'm done... I'll never find what I had with him without him so what's the point of
going on? My children are raised and supporting themselves now, I found true love, why bother, I got everything i wanted in life the rest
just seems all down hill...

Is that so ridiculous?
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Offline Ptrk3

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  • Posts: 2,792
Re: For years Anger was my management..now I'm so depressed..go back to anger?
« Reply #1 on: December 01, 2016, 10:28:16 pm »
I'm sorry for your predicament.  It's not easy to be in a relationship that is uncommunicative.  Perhaps you both can pursue counseling to deal with the issues that have brought you to where you are now.  Do be aware that depression is a silent undertow that brings you further and further out to sea.

If you can't explore counseling as a couple, do seek it for yourself.  You have struggled to long and too hard to give up now.

Please feel free to seek support here as you struggle with your current state of mind.

Best wishes to you.
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