Lots of pre-cum. Risky to receive oral with undetectable VL?

[Disturbed]

Last month I had my first sexual experience with a girl since I am HIV+. I told her and she was OK with that (she is negative). For penetration we always used condoms, but she asked me if it's OK if she suck me without condom. I told her YES. I didn't cum in her mouth but I have lot of pre-cum so I am a bit worried now. Did I make a mistake? Is it really possible that she can get the virus from the pre-cum or not?
I have undetecable viral load and I have no problems using condom for anal and vaginal sex, but for oral sex (giving or receiving) is a very big turn-off for me.
Any advice or ideas?
Would it be wrong to have unprotected oral sex without disclosing my status? (where I live only reckless transmission is prosecuted, and transmission must have taken place)
I am a bit confused with that.

[pittman]

For HIV transmission, oral sex is considered very, very low risk. With an undetectable virus load, the risk is even lower, to the point of being unheard of for oral sex. There are other STDs that you could catch or pass on still, but I would not seriously consider HIV to be one of them.
http://www.thebody.com/Forums/AIDS/SafeSex/Q227143.html
[/size]
[/size]http://www.thebody.com/Forums/AIDS/SafeSex/Q227882.html
[/size]

[jkinatl2]

You present no risk to your partner at all through oral sex with an UD VL. Even with a high VL, your risk would only be theoretical in the absence of extenuating circumstances such as meth mouth.

[Disturbed]

Ok thanks... in the clinic they told me the risk is very very very very low... but not 0... so I am not sure what to think. Well, anyway even using condom and pep or prep and everything the risk will be very near to 0, but maybe theoretically still not 0...
And what about cumming in the mouth? and swallowing? is the risk then much higher? (with UD VL)
I will try to avoid this practices, but sometimes can be difficult to keep the control of ourselves.

[jkinatl2]

Ok thanks... in the clinic they told me the risk is very very very very low... but not 0... so I am not sure what to think. Well, anyway even using condom and pep or prep and everything the risk will be very near to 0, but maybe theoretically still not 0...
And what about cumming in the mouth? and swallowing? is the risk then much higher? (with UD VL)
I will try to avoid this practices, but sometimes can be difficult to keep the control of ourselves.

Theoretically kissing is not zero risk. However, like the scenario you described,  it has not been quantified in anything past patient report after the fact, and has not been conclusively documented.

I would understand the reticence if you were asking about unprotected insertive anal sex, of course. But oral sex? No way.

This is what I have told folks in AM I INFECTED for over a decade, anyhow.

[livingthelife]

No one can say ZERO RISK, because then there is liability.  Even if an undetectable person has zero risk, no pharmacy or doctor could say that there was ZERO risk and document ZERO risk.  People are so warped they would find a way to not take a med for a day or two just to SUE to collect damages.  It's that simple. PERIOD.

There is NO legitimate documented case of an HIV person with a healthy undetectable viral load passing the virus.  PERIOD.