Author Topic: scared out of my mind!!!! (Read 12189 times)

amalthea79 · « **on:** May 10, 2011, 10:14:33 am »

hi, can someone please judge my risk? i had a short sexual encounter with an ex boyfriend 2 weeks ago who does not have the greatest reputation for condom use! ...i had intercourse for about 5 min. he did not ejaculate and he used a condom for the entire duration and it was fine from start to finish.no breaks etc .now... here is my worry..at the time i was using a yeast infection treatment called clotrimaderm.i only used 2 ovules.anyway i noticed some remnants of the medication on the condom!!!im so scared the oils may have damaged the condom!

ive been scared out of my mind from this incident.i was so nervous i even took the condom out of the garbage and blew it up! there was no holes to my knowledge and it was a perfect balloon.i also saw a few droplets of his precum on the inside.i forgot to do a water test:s anyway,what are the chances of being infected? please help as i cannot sleep, eat or function normally, ive been nonstop googling etc and im getting scared with everything i see or hear!! ....

Ann · « **Reply #1 on:** May 10, 2011, 10:28:25 am »

ama,

You have not had a risk for hiv infection. When condoms break, it is very obvious and you don't need to put water in them afterwards. The yeast treatment would have had NO effect on the condom's integrity.

Condoms have been proven to prevent hiv infection. There have been long-term studies of couples where one is positive and one is negative. In the couples who used condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, but no barrier for oral activities, not one of the negative partners became infected with hiv. Not one.

Here's what you need to know in order to remain hiv negative:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST OVER PROTECTED INTERCOURSE, , anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann

amalthea79 · « **Reply #2 on:** May 10, 2011, 10:48:53 am »

thanks so much for the fast reply Ann! i think i may have cracked a smile in about 2 weeks!

i always use protection and will continue doing so! also may i add that you guys are doing a wonderful job on here!:) thank you for alleviating my fears!:)

Ann · « **Reply #3 on:** May 10, 2011, 10:59:41 am »

Ama,

You're welcome.

Ann

amalthea79 · « **Reply #4 on:** May 12, 2011, 03:52:12 pm »

hi, i have concerns once again:(... i just got back from the drs to get some meds for the flu .ive had it for a few days now.ive had no fever just congestion on my chest and runny nose. i mentioned to my dr about the incident and my fears about the yeast infection treatment and so on nd now i wish i had of shut my big mouth! he said i should get tested and i was at risk! wtf???! he also said that condoms are not 100% effective.the only way of not contracting hiv etc is to not have sex at all..hmmm no shit! lol anyway i argued with him saying well what if there was no breaks? he said it can still happen..im so confused now.ive also been getting little pains and twinges in my neck where my lymph nodes are.ive been constantly feeling for them since my drs appointment. im not sure if they are swollen or not..are they normally bean sized? i know i should not be doing that buts its so difficult not to...anyway i called some pharmacists in my area as well and they said i should not worry about it because the condom was intact...please help i need some reassurance:(

Andy Velez · « **Reply #5 on:** May 12, 2011, 04:10:36 pm »

Quote from: Ann on May 10, 2011, 10:28:25 am

ama,

You have not had a risk for hiv infection. When condoms break, it is very obvious and you don't need to put water in them afterwards. The yeast treatment would have had NO effect on the condom's integrity.

Condoms have been proven to prevent hiv infection. There have been long-term studies of couples where one is positive and one is negative. In the couples who used condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, but no barrier for oral activities, not one of the negative partners became infected with hiv. Not one.

Here's what you need to know in order to remain hiv negative:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST OVER PROTECTED INTERCOURSE, , anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann

Re-read what Ann told you. It is still totally valid. Your doctor is wrong. There was no risk. And keep your hands off of your lymph nodes. They are very sensitive and if you squeeze or otherwise bother them you can create a problem where none exists. This is not an HIV situation. Period.

amalthea79 · « **Reply #6 on:** May 12, 2011, 04:31:34 pm »

*sigh* thank you andy!... i just get extremely worried and fret myself to death:(...

Andy Velez · « **Reply #7 on:** May 12, 2011, 05:36:50 pm »

Fortunately fears and doubts are not facts. And there is nothing in HIV science to suggest you had a risk. Period.

amalthea79 · « **Reply #8 on:** May 15, 2011, 08:56:44 pm »

hi. im sorry to go on about this but can i ask one question? has anyone ever contracted hiv with an undamaged condom?

Andy Velez · « **Reply #9 on:** May 15, 2011, 10:18:40 pm »

Quote from: amalthea79 on May 12, 2011, 04:31:34 pm

*sigh* thank you andy!... i just get extremely worried and fret myself to death:(...

We're not interested in your what if scenarios. Your situation has been carefully evaluated and you've been told (repeatedly) that you weren't at risk. Let it go and get on with your life. Really. If you continue to return about a non-risk situation you are going to find yourself getting a Time Out from the site.

Happily HIV is not your problem today and sexually it won't be as long as you consistently use condoms for intercourse.

amalthea79 · « **Reply #10 on:** May 15, 2011, 10:29:41 pm »

im sorry if i annoyed you guys but i only asked a question.ive been reading some post in the poz forum and to be frank its very unsettleing that some have become hiv + with protected sex! i dont know if they are lying or not and its not for me to judge them but its very frightening when i truely believed i was in the clear yet now debating on whether i should honestly test or not.i was fine until i read those posts....

RapidRod · « **Reply #11 on:** May 15, 2011, 11:22:10 pm »

No one has ever been infected by protected sex.

amalthea79 · « **Reply #12 on:** May 16, 2011, 12:05:48 am »

thank you rapidrod.i wont question my risk anymore ann,andy and rapidrod

Ann · « **Reply #13 on:** May 16, 2011, 07:33:24 am »

Ama,

You should probably stay out of the forums meant for hiv positive people only. There are all sorts of reason why people do not accurately report how they became hiv positive. Sometimes people forget what they did under the influence of drink and/or drugs. Sometimes they are frightened over how a partner may react. Sometimes they cannot admit even to themselves that they messed up. Sometimes they just lie. We don't challenge such things because they're here for support and it doesn't really matter from our perspective how they ended up here - what's done is done - we're still going to give the support they need.

It sounds like the doctor you spoke to is what we call sex-negative - meaning he doesn't like the idea of anyone having sex outside a marriage. It may be that his religious beliefs cloud his judgement. It may be that he isn't up-to-date on hiv transmission science. You have to remember that doctors are human too and are subject to prejudices just like anyone else, especially where such an emotionally loaded subject like hiv is concerned. While health care professionals should be act like professionals, they don't always. As I said, they're human too.

This is what the up-to-date transmission science tells us: There have been long-term studies of couples where one is positive and one is negative. In the couples who used condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, but no barrier for oral activities, not one of the negative partners became infected with hiv. Not one.

You have not had a risk for hiv infection. Please put this behind you and move on with your life. Make sure your partner is always wearing a condom, and get regular, routine sexual heath check-ups and you'll be just fine where hiv is concerned.

Ann

amalthea79 · « **Reply #14 on:** May 16, 2011, 12:32:28 pm »

ok ann.ill put this incident behind me and carry on. thanks so much for your patience with me.i feel a little better now... take care

amalthea79 · « **Reply #15 on:** May 19, 2011, 11:47:58 pm »

ok.. i have been thrown into a whirlwind of panic tonight! ive developed a strange rash on my upper leg.its small ,blotchy and red , slightly itchy and hot to the touch. i also have a small lump on the side of my neck next windpipe on the right side.and of course im thinking its an enlarged lymph node!:( i dont think ive been more terrified in my life then what i am tonight.i understand that symptoms mean nothing but its awfully coincidental at the 4 week mark!.in fact it will be 4 weeks since i had the encounterin 2 days.could i test this weekend and would it be reliable if im having these odd symptoms? im sorry to bother you guys ,i just need some advice...

Ann · « **Reply #16 on:** May 20, 2011, 06:43:20 am »

Ama,

If you're worried about these things, go see your doctor. Whatever is going on has nothing to do with hiv as you did not have a risk for hiv infection.

If you read the Welcome Thread before posting like you're supposed to, you will have read the following posting guideline:

Quote

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Please consider yourself warned!

Ann

amalthea79 · « **Reply #17 on:** May 20, 2011, 06:52:59 am »

ok , ann i will mention it to my doctor today but please answer this? my rash has completely disappeared about 3 hrs ago. how long does the ars rash etc last for? and you are most definately saying i do not need to test whatsoever?thank you so much for your patience. i must add i am a hypochondriac:( i ve had this problem for many years. i am in the process of getting it sorted with a mental health professional...

Ann · « **Reply #18 on:** May 20, 2011, 07:02:45 am »

Ama,

Why would you need to test when we've repeatedly told you that you were not at risk?

You would only need to test for your peace of mind, or if it were a part of an annual, complete sexual health care check up like I told you earlier you should be having as a sexually active adult.

Your rash sounds like some sort of allergic reaction and sounds NOTHING like the rash that sometimes accompanies hiv seroconversion. See your doctor about it for a diagnosis.

I'm giving you that time out you've been warned about. Do not attempt to create a new account to get around your time out because if you do, you will be permanently banned.

Ann

amalthea79 · « **Reply #19 on:** July 22, 2011, 06:48:35 pm »

i tested at 12 weeks and 3 days for peace of mind.i am negative!!!! thank you so much guys.i know ive been a pest but i truly could'nt of coped with such a nightmare without you guys! thank you and i can finally move on with my life now!:)

Andy Velez · « **Reply #20 on:** July 22, 2011, 09:24:26 pm »

No surprise with that result, but a negative result is always a happy thing.

Time to get on with your life.

amalthea79 · « **Reply #21 on:** July 24, 2011, 08:32:34 pm »

thanks andy!, will do and woo hoo!:P

amalthea79 · « **Reply #22 on:** February 29, 2012, 12:48:08 am »

ok..im back again because i did something really stupid.i attended a friends birthday party and did a few lines of coke with 2 of her friends i did'nt know..we used a rolled up banknote. also i dont do coke frequently.only once a year.i know that is irrelavent and i know i should'nt touch it at all. just being stupid and drunk and figure a few bumps would'nt hurt. so my question is am i at risk of hiv infection from this episode? im really worried yet i will get tested if need be:(....

Matty the Damned · « **Reply #23 on:** February 29, 2012, 01:08:51 am »

Amalthea,

Thank you for returning to your original thread.

HIV is not transmitted through sharing coke straws. HIV is a fragile virus, it is transmitted in very particular ways. Those ways are:

Unprotected vaginal and anal sex;
Sharing contaminated injecting equipment such as needles and syringes;
In some cases from HIV positive mother to her unborn or nursing infant.

You are worrying without cause over this. You do not need to be tested for HIV.

MtD

amalthea79 · « **Reply #24 on:** February 29, 2012, 01:15:42 am »

thanks alot matty..you have no idea how much a sigh of relief that is..once again cheers for the speedy response and just wanna say you guys are awesome on here!

Matty the Damned · « **Reply #25 on:** February 29, 2012, 02:59:51 am »

Quote from: amalthea79 on February 29, 2012, 01:15:42 am

thanks alot matty..you have no idea how much a sigh of relief that is..once again cheers for the speedy response and just wanna say you guys are awesome on here!

I'm glad I could help Amalthea.

MtD

amalthea79 · « **Reply #26 on:** March 14, 2012, 04:19:28 pm »

now im really worried again

ok..its been 4 weeks since i made my very stupid mistake of sharing a bill to snort cocaine.i've now developed itchy spots on different areas of my body.could this be ARS? I know i've been told i had no risk for hiv but why does it say on other websites that it can be contracted in this manner and that 2 people have been infected this way? i know im probably worrying myself sick again but i just want to know why they say that on other sites. also both hiv and hep c are blood to blood viruses.why does hep c infect so easily and hiv supposedly does not? please respond as im getting scared again...

RapidRod · « **Reply #27 on:** March 14, 2012, 04:25:51 pm »

Quote from: amalthea79 on March 14, 2012, 04:19:28 pm

now im really worried again ok..its been 4 weeks since i made my very stupid mistake of sharing a bill to snort cocaine.i've now developed itchy spots on different areas of my body.could this be ARS? I know i've been told i had no risk for hiv but why does it say on other websites that it can be contracted in this manner and that 2 people have been infected this way? i know im probably worrying myself sick again but i just want to know why they say that on other sites. also both hiv and hep c are blood to blood viruses.why does hep c infect so easily and hiv supposedly does not? please respond as im getting scared again...

Apparently you are not paying attention. You never had an exposure. HIV is not transmitted by sharing straws, or bills. Now if you shared works to do coke then you would have had a risk. HIV is a fragile virus unlike HCV. HIV does not stay active outside its host whereas HCV does.

amalthea79 · « **Reply #28 on:** March 14, 2012, 04:35:37 pm »

thanks rapid rod,i just worry so much with conflicting info..im sorry i wont go on about it anymore.thank you for responding.

Andy Velez · « **Reply #29 on:** March 14, 2012, 08:01:23 pm »

Stop surfing the net. You will only find more stuff there to feed your worst fears and all to no good purpose. You did not have a risk.

Cut out the self indulgent drama and get on with your life. If you continue to return here about this kind of non-risk situation you are very quickly going to find yourself getting a Time Out from the site.

Use condoms everytime for anal and vaginal intercourse and you will be well protected sexual against HIV transmission. It's really just that simple.

amalthea79 · « **Reply #30 on:** April 18, 2012, 05:44:49 pm »

hi,just a quick update..i tested for hiv/hcv for peace of mind only at almost 5 weeks. as you all know that i'm not right in the head when it comes to these fears.the test came back negative but my dr recommended further testing up to 6 months!!!:( also i've called numerous testing clinics within my country and they said the same,that intranasal drug use and sharing snorting gear is a slight risk for hiv but mainly hcv.if this information is false why are they not told about it? it would save a lot fear and anxiety that's for sure... also can i move on with this near 5 week negative result.and if theoretically i was exposed would the antibodies show up by then? these drs and clinics got my head done in:(this is my only risk and i just want to move on from this...please anybody?

jkinatl2 · « **Reply #31 on:** April 18, 2012, 06:30:08 pm »

Quote from: amalthea79 on April 18, 2012, 05:44:49 pm

hi,just a quick update..i tested for hiv/hcv for peace of mind only at almost 5 weeks. as you all know that i'm not right in the head when it comes to these fears.the test came back negative but my dr recommended further testing up to 6 months!!!:( also i've called numerous testing clinics within my country and they said the same,that intranasal drug use and sharing snorting gear is a slight risk for hiv but mainly hcv.if this information is false why are they not told about it? it would save a lot fear and anxiety that's for sure... also can i move on with this near 5 week negative result.and if theoretically i was exposed would the antibodies show up by then? these drs and clinics got my head done in:(this is my only risk and i just want to move on from this...please anybody?

Here's the thing. The window period of HIV testing has been at three months for over five years now. Not every agency updates their information. Some even consciously refrain from scaling down the testing window because there is the fear that a person was not certain of the date(s) of possible exposure.

They also routinely assume that people lie, which is understandable. So when you cal and say you snorted coke through a bill, they interpret that as "I had unprotected penetrative sex and am too scared to admit it."

When public health tries to place sociology over science, it breeds misunderstandings and stigma. In my opinion, that tactic is a failure. And of course when I rule the world this will not happen.

Until then, however, please consider seeing a therapist or counselor to discuss these fears regarding HIV. Because I assure you, between NOW and three/six/none months from now, you WILL find another reason to worry. You will have sex, or snort some blow, or kiss someone with chapped lips, or brush against a sharp object.

It's a slippery slope into craziness, this mindset. And you have the power to derail it - but you might ned a little help. Help that is, sadly, well outside the capacities of this forum. We cannot chase every wen site or agency's outdated information. We can't parse the technicalities of each and every incident to explain the millions of ways you are NOT going to get infected.

If you use a condom for penetrative sex, you will avoid HIV.

If you do not share needles when injecting IV drugs, you will not get HIV.

And that is pretty much it. For someone who has an irrational fear, that sounds TOO simple. Surely - and the sentence turns into a novel.

PLEASE get some help and find peace with this.

amalthea79 · « **Reply #32 on:** April 18, 2012, 06:59:32 pm »

i know..jkinat and i am currently receiving help for this.its been a rough ride for quite some time now and sometimes i just need reassurance..that is all.thank you kindly for responding.i know i'm off my rocker lol about these things.that's pretty obvious but my very own dr does not help my situation by elevating my fears:(.this is the only forum i have found peace with and nobody has attacked me on here like on other sites. but i guess people get frustrated with what seems to be repetitive questions.thanks to all for putting up with me.

Ann · « **Reply #33 on:** April 19, 2012, 06:28:54 am »

Amalthea,

As I've told you elsewhere on the internet (yes, I'm Ann at hepmag too), you really only need further hep C testing for your peace of mind. I can't see your negative result changing.

You absolutely do NOT need further hiv testing - you didn't have a risk to begin with. You are conclusively hiv negative. You do NOT have hiv.

If your current therapist has no real knowledge of the science of hiv transmission and testing, maybe you need to find another therapist. In your therapy sessions, you should be focusing on WHY you think you need to be punished for your actions by ending up with a serious illness, rather than testing windows and transmission routes. It seems to me that (feeling the need to be punished) is the real issue here.

So you had some fun and snorted some coke. So what. You don't need to be punished for that.

As Jonathan said, provided you make sure condoms are being used for anal or vaginal intercourse and don't share drug injecting equipment, you'll have no worries where hiv is concerned. It really is that simple!!! I promise you.

Ann

amalthea79 · « **Reply #34 on:** April 20, 2012, 01:42:04 am »

thanks ann.and yes you are right.there is a lot of guilt concerning the incident...i'm trying to get past this believe me! also,i've switched my dr as of today.i'm tired of his medieval mindset anyway lol time to see a proper dr that is at least updated on testing and transmission. i want to thank you and the other members for doing a remarkable job on here! without you guy's i would probably be in the loonie bin...lol

Ann · « **Reply #35 on:** April 20, 2012, 06:04:44 am »

Amalthea,

You're welcome.

Now throw the guilt overboard, get on with your life, and good luck with your new doctor.

Ann

amalthea79 · « **Reply #36 on:** May 18, 2012, 09:52:49 pm »

so.. i tested for peace of mind only at 12 weeks for hcv/hiv.i'm still waiting for my results.i have to call my dr monday morning.i'm just trying to get through this weekend without having a nervous break down:( also i.ve developed a rash on the inside of my leg that itches only when i scratch.i'm getting it into my head that it could be ars but then i remember reading on here that it would be too late for the rash to be ars related at 12 weeks.i know i've been repeatedly told i had absolutely no risk for hiv but my dr put it on the panel of tests anyway because he believes there was a theoretical risk ffs. ahh and not to mention the confirmatory test at 6 months. lol no worries this will be my last and final test and finally put this nightmare behind me with any luck!

Andy Velez · « **Reply #37 on:** May 18, 2012, 10:25:18 pm »

There's really nothing more for us to say at this point beyond what has been told to you several times. You were not at risk and you're going to get a negative test result.

Hopefully that will allow you to give up this drama and move on with your life.

amalthea79 · « **Reply #38 on:** May 21, 2012, 09:09:21 pm »

i hope so too. 13 hrs to go! thank you andy

amalthea79 · « **Reply #39 on:** May 22, 2012, 02:36:11 pm »

my final update... NEGATIVE!

..cheers for all your patience.

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Author Topic: scared out of my mind!!!! (Read 12189 times)