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Author Topic: confused..please help  (Read 8663 times)

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Offline susi

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confused..please help
« on: September 01, 2006, 12:30:53 pm »
Hi,i tested negative 47 days after the last contact with the ag/ab test..i had protected sex but sometimes we used to rub each other without wearing any clothes,also many times the head of his penis touched the entrance of my vagina so i am sure that some of his precum touched my vagina and maybe get inside..What do you think,should i retest?please i am confused over this

Offline RapidRod

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Re: confused..please help
« Reply #1 on: September 01, 2006, 12:34:35 pm »
Frontage is not considered a risk. I see no reason to test or retest.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: confused..please help
« Reply #2 on: September 01, 2006, 12:37:07 pm »
"Rubbing" (sometimes called frottage) is not a risk for HIV transmission. If that was your only so-called risk it wasn't even necessary to get tested.

The only real issue in terms of HIV transmission sexually is via unprotected vaginal or anal intercourse. The kind of activity you've described has never been documented as a means of transmission and you aren't going to make history by becoming the first.

Just make sure that anytime you have intercourse the guy is wearing a latex condom and you will be fine as far as HIV is concerned.

There's no need for further testing in relation to that incident.

Cheers,

Andy Velez

Offline Ann

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Re: confused..please help
« Reply #3 on: September 01, 2006, 12:40:33 pm »
suzi,

The rubbing you describe is called frottage, and frottage is NOT a risk for hiv infection. Hiv is a fragile, difficult to transmit virus that is successfully transmitted INSIDE the human body, as in unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse where penetration has occured. For more in-depth information on hiv transmission, click on the Lessons links in the Welcome Thread

You do not need further testing over this incident. You are hiv negative. Please protect your negative status by using condoms. You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL STIs together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with a sexually transmitted infection.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can make sure your fella is using them properly. While you're on either of those pages, have a look through the bottom three links in the left-hand column. They discuss ways that you, as a woman, can protect yourself. I recommend the female condom as they are also excellent barriers against hiv infection, and importantly, they give YOU the control over condom use. They can even be put in place in advance so you're not fumbling around at the crucial moment. They're fiddly to use at first, but if you can put a tampon in, you can use these. It gets easier with practice. Give them a try.

Although you do NOT need further testing over this incident, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for intercourse and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple.
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline susi

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Re: confused..please help
« Reply #4 on: September 01, 2006, 12:47:23 pm »
Thank you all,but is it stil frottage when the head of the penis touched the entrance of the vagina and get inside just a little?i am sure that he didnt penetrate me but maybe some of his fluids found the way to enter..

Offline RapidRod

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Re: confused..please help
« Reply #5 on: September 01, 2006, 12:54:12 pm »
Still frontage.

Offline susi

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Re: confused..please help
« Reply #6 on: September 01, 2006, 01:05:32 pm »
The result of the test wrote negative 0.45 s/co it was in the normal range but i dont understand what is this for..what try to measure?thank you so much..

Offline susi

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Re: confused..please help
« Reply #7 on: September 02, 2006, 06:57:14 am »
please,i am really confused as i really try to believe you that there is no risk,but if his fluids get inside why there is no risk?i read that you can be infected from the mucous membrane that really exist at the entrance of the vagina.can you please explain to me?also a doctor told me that the condom should be used before you have any contact and not only if penetration occurs..thanks

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: confused..please help
« Reply #8 on: September 02, 2006, 08:17:19 am »
We can only tell you what experience and the best information has told us: frottage is not a risk for HIV.

You are caught up in WHAT IFS. What if some of his precum got in, etc.

Perhaps your doctor is telling you that the guy should have a condom on even when there is frottage might be because it's very easy for a couple to get carried away into having unprotected intercourse when they become excited during frottage. There are no documented cases of transmission via frottage. HIV is not an easy virus to transmit. Intercourse is the issue regarding transmission and not the kind of activity you were involved in.

If you are going to continue to worry about this then go ahead and get tested at 13 weeks to collect hte inevitable negative result. Just because your mind continues to come up with scary scenarios doesn't mean they have any basis in HIV science.

This is not an HIV situation.
Andy Velez

Offline susi

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Re: confused..please help
« Reply #9 on: September 02, 2006, 08:54:28 am »
Last guestion..there is no reason not to have unprotected sex with my new bf who is hiv negative..right?
Thank you very very much,your work here is really great..!

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: confused..please help
« Reply #10 on: September 02, 2006, 09:01:16 am »
suzi,

Well, that depends on what you're basing your comment that he's hiv negative on. If you have tested TOGETHER for ALL sexually transmitted infections (at least three months into your relationship) and you are securely monogamous, then by all means, you're good to go.

However, if you're basing your comment on his telling you he is hiv negative, without proof of any sort, then you should be having PROTECTED intercourse. I'm not saying he's lying necessarily, but he might not actually KNOW his true hiv status. It happened to me that way - an ex of mine thought he was hiv negative and I took his word for it. He wasn't - he was hiv positive - and I am too now as a result.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL STIs together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with a sexually transmitted infection.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline susi

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Re: confused..please help
« Reply #11 on: September 02, 2006, 09:14:52 am »
Thanks Ann,
He tested hiv negative and i saw his results,i am asking because i tested negative only 47 days after the frottage i described..so what do you think,should i retest first?

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: confused..please help
« Reply #12 on: September 02, 2006, 09:37:10 am »
suzi,

Yes, you're good to go condomless with no further testing, as long as you are securely monogamous.

For one thing, frottage is not a risk for hiv infection. For another, the vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by six weeks. Your test was over six weeks. Add these two facts together and you can rest assured you are hiv negative.

Ann


Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline susi

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  • Posts: 10
Re: confused..please help
« Reply #13 on: September 02, 2006, 09:44:53 am »
Thank you very much,i wish you all the best!

Offline susi

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Re: confused..please help
« Reply #14 on: September 05, 2006, 07:23:27 pm »
Hello,i really appreciate your help but i am still a little anxious over this..can you please clarify the risk if the head of the penis enter just the entrance of the vagina,there is no risk for the female?if the precum touched the mucous membranes of the entrance of the vagina there is no possible infection?if it is true,infection from male to female can occur only if the precum/semen get deeper in the vagina?i know the risk is higher from male to female.Thank you very much.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: confused..please help
« Reply #15 on: September 05, 2006, 07:28:32 pm »
If and if??? You don't know. I'm here to say if the penis would have entered any part of your vagina you would have known. Frontage is no risk..
« Last Edit: September 05, 2006, 07:44:59 pm by RapidRod »

Offline susi

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Re: confused..please help
« Reply #16 on: September 05, 2006, 07:37:11 pm »
i am sorry,but i am sure there was no full,normal penetration,maybe just the head of his penis for a few seconds,is this enough for infection to occur?thanks..

Offline RapidRod

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Re: confused..please help
« Reply #17 on: September 05, 2006, 07:44:22 pm »
NO!!

Offline susi

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  • Posts: 10
Re: confused..please help
« Reply #18 on: October 07, 2006, 10:20:09 am »
Thank you all for your help,you really helped me last time..you know there is always a but..i have a lot of symptoms lately and start thinking again about the risk i  had.
When we did the frottage i described the head of his penis was standing at the entrance of my vagina so i am thinking that maybe only the tip of his penis enter my vagina just for a few seconds.
what do you think about this?sorry for asking again but i am really worried since i have many symptoms..
Thanks i appreciate your opinion.

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: confused..please help
« Reply #19 on: October 07, 2006, 12:36:06 pm »
Susi,

If this is worrying you that much, get tested at the appropriate time for a conclusive result, but don't be surprised at another negative. You've already tested negative over this incident once, at nearly seven weeks, and I do not see that result changing.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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