POZ Community Forums
HIV Prevention and Testing => Do I Have HIV? => Topic started by: man_apart on August 13, 2006, 05:15:21 pm
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Hi everyone, I am new to this forum and I am really grateful that such a service exist, and that there are knowledgable people out there who are willing to take up some of their time and help and support worried and scared people like myself. I do apologize in advance for my detailed listing, and for the fact that it might feel repeated but i am in real need of personal assurance.
I am a 32 years old married male from overseas (india), i just moved to the states a couple of years ago, .I did a big mistake by making out with a female friend from my old job . There was about 4 incidents . The incidents involved prolonged french kissing probably for hours( i didnt bleed neither during the encounters nor while in brush my teeth normally) , but my gums are always inflammed due to gingivits and periodontal disease!),touching,genital rubbing with the clothes on and 2 times she masterbated me,one time with ky gel and one time with a lotion.I also fingered here in those 2 incidents and inserted my 2 or 3 fingers inside here for long periods of time,and I am 99.9% sure I didnt touch my genitals with that hand,and that i washed right away very well..there was one incident though that when she was sitting on me and grinding and moving around and i had cotton pants on and undearwear and she was in her underwear, she got kind of wet and i saw some fluid on my pants from her but didnt wash it away.
The problem is she used to be an iv drug user but quit 8 years ago, she also has hep c and she was honest about it,she said she tested -ve for hiv one and a half year ago with her partner (she is bisexual) and she has only been with her partner for the last 6 years and just broke up with her right before these incidents with me and never did anything high risk. (according to her)
after about 2 weeks from the last exposure i developed the following symptoms:started the symptoms: diarrhea with severe abdominal pain, took OTC meds,which stopped the diarrhea in 1 day or so, , my stomach was hurting so bad with alot of bloating and stomachache.,and mostly i had constipation after that/,few days i started having difficulty swallowing that never happened to me before ,severe neck tighness especially in the front and sides,didnt feel like a normal sore throat but it was a sore throat!,loss of taste,frequent urination. ,went to doc but didnt tell her about my fears,she said she doesnt see anything wrong with my throat,no swollen nodes, gave me antibiotic, started takin it,lost appetite,lost 10 pounds in 2 weeks coz i barely ate.i was so fatigued and depressed, and always wanted to sleep to escape the fact that now i am HIV +ve! I woke up with chills in 2 consecutive nights,sweated at 2 nights but not to the extent i had to change clothes, it was kinda hot, still no fever,only hot flashes, i took .i had a lot of belching, and one night i had low pulse and thought i was gonna die and couldnt even breath from the pressure on my stomach. I .Twice I had watery diarrhea . in 2 weeks throat symptoms went away,so as abdomen pain.now there is Tendrenss over both lower ribs from side,both uper abdominal muscles around my liver and spleen, heavy feeling under arms like my nodes were swollen but no lumps .my lymph nodes under my arms were so much tender to touch and painful that pain wakes me up sometimes,,then burning sensation in pectoral area and axilla,like it was on fire,sometimes when i am sleeping i feel like tingling in my chest or my pectoral muscles, if i wake up and walk a bit it goes away, didnt feel like heart burn though!in few days calmed down, then one lymph node swoll in my neck only one side behind my ear (that is 4 weeks after my initial symptoms started),little tender to touch,the first night i felt my face swollen on that side,also discomfort in right groin area was felt for 2-3 days before that lymph node swoll on my neck, the lymph node has been there for 5 weeks now, under arms still feel uncomfortable & tender when i push on it, i check my nodes alot during the day to see if they r swollen, it is tender on my chest muscles, side of chest, a little bit under my axilla and a little bit on my groin, also the sides of my ribs right above the waist and right groin discomfort,dont see any swollen nodes though.
Now it is 11 weeks post my encounters, i have some questions plz.
having these symptoms 2 weeks after the encounter, the sore throat and stomach problems lasted 2 weeks, then for 2 more weeks the pain in lymph nodes, and after those initial 4 weeks of symptoms , i developed 2 swollen nodes under my ear bean sized on the left and peas sized on the right, they are there for almost 5 weeks now, so the swollen nodes swoll 4 weeks after the intital symptoms,is this common for ARS?
I am so sorry for my long post, i have no friends or family here and i am in desprate need for support and i have no place to ask for help except in here, my life has been a living hell the last weeks, i cant sleep, eat or work, i dont talk to noone i dont know what to do,,please please honestly answer my questions? :'(
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You didn't have a risk for HIV infections and if you are having all those symptoms go see your doctor. Please take time to read the "Welcome" thread and all of it's links to gain knowledge on the transmission of HIV.
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Thanks for the quick reply, i did see one doctor when i first got the symptoms, i thought it was a sore throat and he put me on the antibiotic. I then went the local clinic since i dont have insurance,I ecplained everything to the doctor, but u know how doctors are in these public clinics, he said i dont need hiv test, CBC and CMP. I did read the archives and the welcome message and everything , my only worry is the symptoms i have/had, mainly the swollen nodes under my ear on the jaw line.
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I just didn't laugh. As I told you before, you didn't have a risk. Always use a condom and plenty of water base lube for anal or vaginal sex.
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does anyone please have an additional comment about my risks/symptoms? i appreciate the help, thank u.
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Man,
You didn't have a risk.
Ann
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Ann,No risk? not even with the conditions of my gums and the symptoms and swollen nodes i still have?
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Still NO RISK!!!
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man,
Kissing, touching, masturbating or any of the other things you list are not risks for hiv infection, no matter what sort of spin you want to put on it.
Unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse ARE risks for hiv infection. You didn't list either of those. You had no risk.
Use condoms for intercourse when you play away and you won't have to worry about hiv infection.
Ann
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Thank u Ann, I am not trying to spin anything , I never had lumps like this before (my swollen nodes), and i cant find an explanation for all that, I am not tryin to be annoying, U really have no idea how I am feeling. Thanks again for ur response, I trust what u say and I am hoping jkinatl2 gives me his feedback just for reassurance, u really dont think i need HIV testing?
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So ANN, magnetic couples french kiss all the time and can perform mutual masterbation without risk?
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man,
I'm positive and my partner of seven years is negative. The only precaution we take is to use condoms for intercourse. That's all you need. Use condoms and avoid hiv infection - it really is that simple.
You don't need to test specifically over this situation, no. However, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.
If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.
If you're concerned about your lymph nodes, keep your hands off them because that will cause them to swell and stay swollen. See a doctor about them, we cannot diagnose you.
You did not have a risk of hiv infection in anything you bring to us. If this is the only sexual activity you've ever engaged in, then you don't need to test at all. You didn't have a risk.
Ann
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Deleted...
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Interesting thread!
I thought you just moved to the states a couple of years ago, was still a virgin till you got married and basically had no informtaion about HIV till you started reading about it a few weeks ago. After all, this is what you indicated.
I'm perplexed because you just wrote again stating that you tested for HIV prior to marriage. I find it difficult to absorb that you knew nothing regarding HIV. In all, you have not described any risk and are probablly all stressed out causing your mind to play all kinds of tricks on you.
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Like your nick says, "Let-it-go".
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I also understand that the mind can play games , but the timing of the symptoms, the reaction of the girl when she was suppose to get her results and suddenly stopped talking to me, and my swollen nodes are not mind games, they are facts. I just hope it is the craziest coincidence that happened to me to remind me not to do what I did again, . that is why i am freaked out, the conflicting information , thanks for taking the time to read my thread .
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Well, I'm glad you can finally put closure on this issue from what you describe. Trust me, the mind can play games on you causing swollen lymph nodes for months if not years. I wish you the best of luck with you and your family in the future.
Regards,
Carl
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Ann, and RapidRod can someone tell me the 2 posts on I just tested Poz, (Improbable but Possible ) and (I don't understand how this is possible), the only way these 2 people were infected is through kissing, why are people trying to hide the truth? I couldnt go to sleep after I read these posts, shouldnt they contact the CDC?
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man,
Stay out of the other forums, ok? You aren't hiv positive and you've got no business over there.
Sometimes people can't even admit to themselves that they've engaged in risky behaviours, let alone admit it to anyone else. Sometimes people don't remember risky behaviour because they were under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol. Patient reporting is notoriously unreliable.
However, there have been studies where one partner is positive and one is negative. (the studies are discussed in the Transmission lesson, which you should have read by now) In the couples whose only precaution was to use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, NOT ONE of the negative partners became infected. NOT ONE. These studies have proven what activities are real transmission risks and what are not. Regardless of what some anonymous person posts in some internet forum.
You are conclusively hiv negative and you haven't had a risk that might change that. You are hiv negative.
Ann
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Thank you Ann, thank u so much, I went there because I wanted to see what I would expect if I was to find out I am positive, and I was shocked with those 2 stories of possible infectiond due to kissing!, I do however feel much better now and of course I would rely more on clinical trials and medical information other than someone saying a story, Indeed I was more reassured when u told me that ur partner is -ve and that u do kiss and do all that and everything is fine for 7 years,ur help is greatly appreciated, u r like a guardian angel, Stay well Ann and GOD bless u..
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I am Sorry
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man_apart, stay out of this forum. You are not HIV postive.
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Man,
If you'd bothered to read the Welcome Thread (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=220.0) like you're supposed to, you would know that you are not to post in the other forums. I've removed the post you made elsewhere and put it here, in your own thread, which is the ONLY place you should be posting.
Please consider yourself warned.
Thank you for your cooperation.
Ann
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So, after receiving risk assessment in the appropriate forum, you decide to trawl the other forums? That's uncool, and you know it.
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Deleted....
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Please accept my apology.
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Man,
You would have known if you'd bothered to read the Welcome thread. We don't tell people to read it just because we like to type the words out over and over and over again. It even tells you to read before posting in the title of that thread. No excuse.
I'd have an easier time of accepting your apology if I hadn't told you only yesterday that you shouldn't be in that forum. Sometimes I feel like I'm talking to brick walls.
Ann
(who is admittedly cranky this evening)
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I really thought u didnt want me to be there so i dont get more stressed out by reading the threads there, I HONESTLY read the welcome thread and i must have missed/misuderstood the part where it says i cant post anywhere. I am sorry again and please dont be cranky tonight and take a deep breath, I hate to be a reason to make u more cranky after all the help u gave me and everyone here, remember u r the guardian angel , and the guardian angel should always be happy :-*
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remember u r the guardian angel , and the guardian angel should always be happy
Yeah, well, maybe if I could win a money lottery instead of just the hiv lottery.... ~sigh~
Ann
(who thinks it's time for bed)
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I will pray for u that u win the money lottery, u r indeed making alot of people happy, comfortable, and safe by ur advicing and ur knwoledge, the love and respect that we have for u, the help that u give to people, and the changes u make in people's lives is way better and more valuable than the money lottery (u may not know it) but it is true. I know it wont hurt to win the money lottery on top of that ..lol
I am glad u r smiling now, good night Angel.... :-*
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Can someone please answer this, one post on the medhelp by an MD says that prolonged kissing poses a risk since u can do some small injuries to the lips and mouth and that the CDC advices against prolonged deep kissing as this can cause transmission if one partner is HIV +ve, and my situation was indeed prolonged kissing, is it true that the CDC info is not reliable? or what? it is this conflicting information that makes people like me worried ???
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There has never been a documented case of someone getting HIV from kissing. If kissing could spread HIV then everyone would have it.
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so why is the CDC messing with people's minds???????
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I've never seen where the CDC says you can. It does say there is a theoretical risk for open mouth kissing. Which means exactly what I said. No one has ever been documented in 25 years of getting HIV in the way.
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here is the link from the CDC website ???
http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/resources/qa/qa17.htm
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Man,
The American CDC is a notoriously conservative operation and isn't always the best source of information for chronically Worried Wells such as yourself.
The best source of information on the net for HIV/AIDS is this site. Follow our advice and you'll be fine.
MtD
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matty.the.damned ,Thank u for ur reply, I really do trust this site that is why i am here every single day reading all the information here, also the body.com is a great site, so based on everything u read and my exposure, u really think I still have hope that I will test negative? :-\
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u really think I still have hope that I will test negative?
Man, since you haven't had a risk I'm certain you will test negative.
Ya dig?
MtD
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I am sorry English is not my first language, what does ya dig mean?
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You should have read the link where they say they can not prove the infection in that manner.
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I am sorry English is not my first language, what does ya dig mean?
It means "do you understand me?"
MtD
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Yes sir I do and thank u very much for ur help.
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I am feeling one more swollen node in my neck (on the jaw line) on the right side, also i am feeling the nodes in the front of my neck getting a bit swollen :(, is this common to occur after 11 weeks since the encounter? is this common of acute HIV? my anxiety is up in the sky and i am feeling like my heart is going to stop. Does this sound like EPV? I am really losing my mind, everyone said i had no HIV risk, so what is this? i know symptoms mean nothing and anxiety causes alot of symptoms, but not the swollen nodes!! can someone please answer me ??? ??? ??? is there a slight chance that this is HIV?
have u guys ever been wrong when u said to someone they had no risk and they came back and saying they tested positive?
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Man,
You have been told repeatedly by myself and others that you have no reason to worry about HIV from what you've described here. You've been told that symptoms mean nothing. Your nodes will swell if you poke them all the time, which is what you're doing. Racing to the bathroom mirror and prodding away several times an hour. Don't tell me you're not.
Your needs are beyond the sort of support we can provide here. I recommend you seek the advice of a mental health professional.
MtD
/edited for a small typo/
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Matty, u r right, i have been poking on my lymph nodes every single day for the last 10 weeks, in the car when i am in a light, at home, at work, i cant really count and everyone noticed in my job. can this cause them to swell? have u guys ever been wrong when u assessed someone's HIV risk as no risk and they came back and say they tested positive? AM i being irrational? I wish i can go see someone for my anxiety but i dont have insurance until september, and trust me the assurance i get here helps me alot and makes a difference between me sleeping that night or not :-\
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Ann, Rapidrod and matty, honestly.. honestly,have u guys ever been wrong when u assessed someone's HIV risk as no risk and they came back and say they tested positive???
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No I haven't been wrong.
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Ann, Rapidrod and matty, honestly.. honestly,have u guys ever been wrong when u assessed someone's HIV risk as no risk and they came back and say they tested positive???
Man,
I have been an AIDSMEDer since March 2005. I have been giving advice in Am I Infected/Fears of forum since then. I've only ever seen two people test positive after posting in this forum and in both cases there were clear risks and other indicators that a ultimate positive diagnosis was pretty much certain.
And no I won't tell you who they are. So don't think you can go sending people PM's about this stuff. I know what you've been up to.
Similarly I've never seen someone who has been told they will most likely test negative end up testing positive. We're take the work we do here very seriously. We don't make predictions lightly. It's why we're the Number 1 HIV/AIDS website on the whole wide internet.
Now go and get some counselling or therapy.
MtD
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Matty, my point was not to contact anyone, I swear. U said these 2 people u already told them there are some risks, but in my case, everybody said NO risk, and this was my question, have u ever told someone NO risk and they tested positive? or those 2 cases u were referring too had some risk and u already told them they had risk?
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Matty, my point was not to contact anyone, I swear. U said these 2 people u already told them there are some risks, but in my case, everybody said NO risk, and this was my question, have u ever told someone NO risk and they tested positive? or those 2 cases u were referring too had some risk and u already told them they had risk?
I'm not going to discuss other cases with you in any detail. They bear no relevance to your situation. What is relevant to you that there is no risk for HIV transmission from what you describe.
Please seek the professional help that you need.
MtD
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I'm not going to discuss other cases with you in any detail. They bear no relevance to your situation. What is relevant to you that there is no risk for HIV transmission from what you describe.
Matty, I understand what u r saying, and i am not trying to make u tell me any details, i just ned a yes or no answer. Have u or any of the experts here tell someone they had NO risk (like in my case) and they ended up testing positive??
Thats is all i wanna know so i can see the possibilities, I am really sorry for being annoying, but please understand why I came here in the first place. Thanks alot for everything
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Matty, I understand what u r saying, and i am not trying to make u tell me any details, i just ned a yes or no answer. Have u or any of the experts here tell someone they had NO risk (like in my case) and they ended up testing positive??
Thats is all i wanna know so i can see the possibilities, I am really sorry for being annoying, but please understand why I came here in the first place. Thanks alot for everything
As Roddles and I have explained to you already the answer to your question is no. I have never seen somebody told in this place they would most likely test negative come back with a positive result.
Ya dig?
MtD
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deleted
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Freaked,
One case suggesting something means nothing. I don't accept that HIV is transmitted in that way.
That's my expert opinion.
And don't hijack other people's threads. Stay in your own.
MtD
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most likely test negative? well everyone says i had no risk and i will test negative, (not most likely test negative), i believe that means I am in the safe side. (sighs)
Thank u very much for ur help, it is greatly appreciated (and the patience too)
Please take freaked123 post out of here, i dont need to be freaked out more, thanx
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most likely test negative? well everyone says i had no risk and i will test negative, (not most likely test negative), i believe that means I am in the safe side. (sighs)
Thank u very much for ur help, it is greatly appreciated (and the patience too)
Please take freaked123 post out of here, i dont need to be freaked out more, thanx
I'll take it out for you, sorry about that.
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Freaked,
Stop apologising and stay in your own thread! >:(
Man,
most likely test negative? well everyone says i had no risk and i will test negative, (not most likely test negative), i believe that means I am in the safe side. (sighs)
Thank u very much for ur help, it is greatly appreciated (and the patience too)
Please take freaked123 post out of here, i dont need to be freaked out more, thanx
When I said "most likely" I was generalising to include other people who had small risks but would probably test negative. They all tested negative. I'm sorry if I was unclear.
You had no risk. You will test negative.
Best wishes,
MtD
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Thank you, thank you :-*
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Hi everyone again, sorry about the post, but i just read in one of the posts on am i infected, that the secretions in the cervix is the infected one, and i did place my 2-3 fingers deep inside her and i am sure i touched the cervix and rubbed against it for so many times and over long time, literally my fingers where everywhere, i dont really remember if i had a hang nail, cut etc..,. but lets assume i had a hang nail cut which i usually have and she was HIV +ve, is this considered low risk or no risk? please answer me I am freaking out :(
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MATTY? ANN? RAPIDROD? ?can anyone answer me plz...
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Did u guys put me on ignore? :'(
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I didn't put you on ignore as of yet. But to tell you the truth it has gone on long enough. If you has stuck your fingers into her cervix. You wouldn't be typing, she would have broke your damn neck.
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I didn't put you on ignore as of yet. But to tell you the truth it has gone on long enough. If you has stuck your fingers into her cervix. You wouldn't be typing, she would have broke your damn neck.
what r u talking about? i dont understand!! i meant to say i had my fingers deep in her just as if it was a penis, so i went deep with my fingers, not just from outside , that is what i meant!
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what r u talking about? i dont understand!! i meant to say i had my fingers deep in her just as if it was a penis, so i went deep with my fingers, not just from outside , that is what i meant!
I don't want to speak for Rapid but I think he means, it's time for you to get over it. Noone has ever gotten infected from fingering someone. If you need the test to calm your fears than go ahead and take the test, collect your negative results and move on.
If you can't do that than you should seek professional psychological services to help you with this undue anxiety regarding a no risk situation.
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scienceguy, thanx alot, what about the PROLONGED deep kissing ,u agree with everyone that it is still no risk, despite my symptoms and the person being possibly HIV +ve? honestly?
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scienceguy, thanx alot, what about the PROLONGED deep kissing with my gingivitis and periodontal disease, u agree with everyone that it is still no risk, despite my symptoms and the person being possibly HIV +ve? honestly?
Man,
You already know the answer to that. Kissing doesn't transmit HIV. Stop with the what-if's. You're really wearing out your welcome here. It's time you went and got some professional psychiatric help. We can do no more for you.
I have nothing further to say to you. I would encourage others to do likewise.
MtD
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Yes I agree with everyone who has already posted. Again, think about how many people throughout the world engage in prolonged deep kissing - billions and yet there is no definitive evidence to suggest that this a route of transmission.
While i don't want to humor this line of thinking, you seem quite hung up on your dental problems. Consider that it is very likely that the girl you were kissing had better dental care than yourself and wasn't bleeding profusely from the mouth, thus no risk.
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Matty, I am not trying to be annoying, and i am not asking sthg hypothetical, If it wasnt for my symptoms i wouldnt have even thought about anything. I just cant get it out of my head, day and night. If it wasnt for all those factors together, i wouldnt be here. I just need reassurance till i get my conclusive test in 2 weeks, and please understand that i have noone else to talk to except here, and that i am in desperate need for the support and for someone to talk to me. I have always given help and support to people all my life, even people i dont know, and this is the first time in my life i ever be this way. I am sorry again if i am being annoying or rediculous, I will not post anything anymore. thanks everyone for ur help.
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Scienceguy, she had perfect gums and teeth, that i am sure of and i didnt taste or see any blood, except that one time she brushed her teeth right before we kissed, so that is why i am worried. Anyway, i will not post anything anymore til i get tested , coz seems like everyone is mad at me and i can understand that. :-\
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I agree with Matty
You've gotten all the information you need here, any more dwelling on this issue is simply not warranted. If taking an HIV test will alleviate this needless worrying than you should test and collect your negative results so you can move forward.
If you can't get past this you should seek the help of a mental health professional, keeping in mind that face to face contact with a trained professional is exceptionally therapeutic in helping to deal with this intense anxiety you're facing.
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I just don't understand something here. You give answers on medhelp you never said you had any trouble with english, but here you do. If you can give advise on medhelp then why are you here?
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I just don't understand something here. You give answers on medhelp you never said you had any trouble with english, but here you do. If you can give advise on medhelp then why are you here?
I simply repeat what i hear Dr. H on medhelp saying in an effort to calm someone down (including myself).I read all the forums on medhelp,aidsmeds and thebody and i collect information with which I can help calm worried people down and interact with people, and if the information i put is wrong, the doctor will delete it. And please understand that when somene says they had unprotected oral for example, it is a crystal clear thing, unlike kissing with which there might be other circumstances like gum disease , etc.. and that is why there is conflicting info on the web about deep kissing and that is why I am here in the first place (to collect credible advice and information so I can know my real risk).
I didnt say i dont know how to speak english, but english is my second language and sometimes i have a problem understanding some expressions, like for example when matty said (YA DIG)? i never knew this one. I am not an expert or anything, and if u read my posts on medhelp, i always say ( I heard Dr. H say so and so) , i never claim to be an expert coz I know i am not.
I do appreciate all the help that u guys do here, that really does make a difference in people's life. I started eating again and getting back to being myself from all the assurance I got from here and a couple of other places, I know I still cant get over it completely unless I take a test and see a negative in my face, but at least I started to function again. I will take the test in 2 more weeks and I will inform u of the results either way. Thanks again guys for ur help,U r the best :-*
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Man, all I can do is my my comments to the chorus which have already repeatedly and correctly told you that you were not at risk for HIV in the incident you are concerned about.
You have no basis whatsover in HIV science for your worries. No risk. Period. End of story.
This is all about head stuff and not in anyway HIV.
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Man, all I can do is my my comments to the chorus which have already repeatedly and correctly told you that you were not at risk for HIV in the incident you are concerned about.
You have no basis whatsover in HIV science for your worries. No risk. Period. End of story.
This is all about head stuff and not in anyway HIV.
Thank you so much Mr. Velez for taking tthe time to read my problem and for ur answer, it has indeed reassured me more and more, I am only worried because the condition of my gums (gingivitis and periodontitis) and the symptoms (swollen nodes mainly) that I had/still have. IF it wasnt for that I would'nt have worried at all. But indeed every single person said I had no risk even with the conditions of my gums. Do u recommend testing at all, I am really very scared to take the test, and yet very scared not to take it, from ur experience shall I get a test? and if yes , shall i take the home kit or better see a doctor so he/she can assess my symptoms incase it turns out to be mono or sthg like that? Thank u a million...
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Man,
You've already been told you don't need to test and that you should see your doctor about your symptoms. Whatever is going on, it isn't about hiv.
You might think it's ok to post "advice" that you "heard" on internet forums, but don't you think it makes the job of others more difficult? Because we have to follow you around making sure your "advice" is correct and deleting it if it isn't. That is time consuming. I suggest you leave the advice-giving to people who really do know what they're talking about.
You've been repeatedly told you have NOT have a risk in anything you've brought to us. Please read the posting guidelines found in the Welcome Thread (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=220.0) and take notice of what they say about posting repeatedly about a no-risk situation. Please consider yourself warned.
Ann
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quote author=Andy Velez link=topic=3262.msg36889#msg36889 date=1156610351]
Bleeding gums or not you don't HIV from kissing. Period. End of story.
Please read the lesson on transmission in the first thread in this section. You can enjoy kissing and a lot more as long as you follow some basic safer sex guidelines. Mainly it's about condoms for intercourse. But read the lesson and get it all down. This epidemic is going to be around for a long time to come. You can enjoy your sexuality, protect yourself and skip a lot of unnecessary worrying by following the guidelines consistently.
This time out you have no cause for concern.
Cheers,
[/quote]
I have a follow up on this, if the other person was recently infected with HIV and unaware of the infection, thus having a very high viral load, will that make the situation a bit risky, or still will not make a difference? thank u for the help
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Not a bit of difference with kissing.
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Not a bit of difference with kissing.
did u also bear in mind the bleeding/bad gums? or did u mean only kissing with one person having a high viral load (without the gum problems?)? thanks for clarifying.
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Come back when you find ONE DOCUMENTED case that someone got infected by kissing or deep kissing.
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Come back when you find ONE DOCUMENTED case that someone got infected by kissing or deep kissing.
RapidRod, i am not trying in any way to argue with u or say that i am not convinced of what u r saying. I am asking this for real as i want to know and educate myself and assess my risk (that is the whole point of me being here),I AM HERE TO ASK UR HELP NOT TO ARGUE WITH U.
What i meant is Mr. Velez said no risk even with bleeding gums, and i asked so deep kissing with bleeding gums and ADD TO THAT a high viral load will still pose no risk? my whole point was to apply this to my situation, considering the person had a high viral load ON TOP OF MY GUM CONDITION, i just wanted to know the answer not to try and argue with u. I swear that is my whole point of the questions i keep askinf.Thank u for understanding. and I so much appreciate the help and the support...
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I wasn't arguing with you. I just asked you to present ONE DOCUMENTED case. It has never happened and you won't be the first.
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ANN, Rapidrod,matthews,MR. Velez and TIM .I am really sorry to post this, but I have been feeling so down and I discovered 2 more swollen nodes in my neck, that makes it a total of 4 nodes , one of which is an almond size. Now I know everyone told me I had no HIV risk from my encounters, but I have been reading on many forums that alot of people had lymph nodes swollen in their neck that match mine and that is why they went to get tested and found out they are positive. The nodes have been swollen for 7 weeks now (started 6 weeks after the encounter), i know that if i test now i will know for sure, but I am scared to test, I dont know what to do, I dont know what i will tell my wife. I am really so so scared. Is their any slight chance i might be infected, or is it a definite no?? If my flu was due to mono like a lot of people suggested, would the nodes still be swollen for all this time?
Please, please, someone answer me, I dont have the courage to go get tested, I am so scared to test, Is this really all in my head? what about my flu , and my swollen nodes now, I am sorry for whinning but I really need the support, I have no one to talk to about this except online, thanx 4 listening. :'(
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Get off the Internet and see your family doctor for the symptoms you think you have. You never had a risk for HIV, so there is no need to get the courage up to test.
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Rapid, have u ever seen someone who had ARs symptoms and swollen nodes for 2 months now and ended up testing negative?
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All the time. Those are non-specific symptoms, and even a cursory reading of this site shows most people who read about symptoms of HIV over the internet instantly start examining their lymph nodes, which in turn makes them swell.
Moreover... you did not have an HIV risk. I am sorry we have obviously failed to communicate that to you.
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All the time. Those are non-specific symptoms, and even a cursory reading of this site shows most people who read about symptoms of HIV over the internet instantly start examining their lymph nodes, which in turn makes them swell.
Moreover... you did not have an HIV risk. I am sorry we have obviously failed to communicate that to you.
Jkinatl2 , i completely understood what everyone has been telling me, u guys have been so helpful., it is just the lymph node swelling, i have never experienced it, can this all be a coincidence? I know u might think I am stupid, but if u were in my position u will understand how i am feeling. I dont mean to be annoying, but could this all be sthg else other than HIV? Is there any slight chance u guys can be wrong, or based on my situation it is definetly NOT related to HIV? Thanks alot for ur support, i am sorry again if i am being annyoing.
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Can it be a coincidence? Maybe. More likely, the swelling is a result of the stress and poking at/examining your lymph nodes. So in that case, it's not a coincidence, but rather a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I do not think you are stupid. I think you are feeling very anxious and guilty, and HIV is the boogeyman of this modern age. But you simply do not get HIV through the activities you mentioned.
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Can it be a coincidence? Maybe. More likely, the swelling is a result of the stress and poking at/examining your lymph nodes. So in that case, it's not a coincidence, but rather a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I do not think you are stupid. I think you are feeling very anxious and guilty, and HIV is the boogeyman of this modern age. But you simply do not get HIV through the activities you mentioned.
Thank u for giving me a relief, i was pokling my neck alot and still poking everyday 100 times for the last 12 weeks, u r right. I really hope that u read the details of my post including my gum conditions coz this is what is scaring me in the first place, i do thank u and everyone who helped me in here from the bottom of my heart, u guys are so wonderful, i will try and get a grip of myself, and build the courage to get the test very soon, i love u all....
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Mr. Velez, sorry i had to Pm u and others about this, i didnt know i can post this in my thread. I am confused about the fact that u told LOVELIFE he had NO risk and he ended up testing +ve. I know it is none of my business, and i am not arguing ur credibility, i just freaked out coz u guys told me that u NEVER told someone NO risk and that person ended up testing +ve. I am freaked out coz u guys told me NO risk based on what i said, and I have been so honest about everything i said in my situation, i dont drink alcohol or do drugs, so i remembered everything, and i didnt come here to lie, i came here for help, and i appreciate all ur help guys, i just need some assurance, i had symptoms of ARS, and swollen nodes now, and everyone said NO risk, is this a 100% NO risk and i should count on that? I know i will take the test soon, i just wanted to know my possibilitis, thats why i am here begging for ur help.
I swear, I respect every single one of u guys for the help u give to all the worried souls like myself, I am just scared and alone in this, that is why anything like that makes it worse for me,I appreciate the feedback, I still love u all and respect u all...
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If you would have stayed in this forum like you were told before you wouldn't have to worry about it. He did not have a risk of HIV and No he shouldn't be in the "I Just Tested Poz" forum. I take great offence to what he has done. I'm sure it will be taken care of shortly. Just stay in this forum and you won't have a damn thing to worry about.
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Man,
One other thing -- don't send me PM's asking for advice. Why? Because it pisses me off.
MtD
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If you would have stayed in this forum like you were told before you wouldn't have to worry about it. He did not have a risk of HIV and No he shouldn't be in the "I Just Tested Poz" forum. I take great offence to what he has done. I'm sure it will be taken care of shortly. Just stay in this forum and you won't have a damn thing to worry about.
RapidRod, I didnt mean to worry myself, I just clicked the link to see who was there thas all.
Man,
One other thing -- don't send me PM's asking for advice. Why? Because it pisses me off.
MtD
Man, chill!! I didnt think i can post a question like this in my thread that is why i tried the pm thing, and when Mr. Velez told me to post my questions in my own thread , i did right away. I didnt mean to piss u off, sorry!!
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I have a question. when u guys say there has been no documented cases, what do u mean by that? Do u mean that the person has to document his/her case with the CDC? or what? Is this the only reason why u say no risk, coz there is not documented cases? What if alot of people got infected this way but they did not want to document their case, lets say for personal reasons? I am not trying to argue anything, I just want to understand where the information is coming from. Am I really a worried well? Thank you
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It's time that you move on. You were given your assessment and there is no further reason for you to be in this forum. I see no further reason to keep going over and over this with you.
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i understand i had my assessment and i appreciate it, i just dont understand this documentation thing, thas all. Thanks
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Man,
I need you to stop going around giving out your own peculiar brand of "support" and "advice". You are in no position to be doing so in these forums, particularly giving advice via PMs. You are very, very close to being given a time out. Please consider yourself warned for the last time.
Ann
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Man,
I need you to stop going around giving out your own peculiar brand of "support" and "advice". You are in no position to be doing so in these forums, particularly giving advice via PMs. You are very, very close to being given a time out. Please consider yourself warned for the last time.
Ann
I dont know what do u mean by peculiar brand of support, if u r refering to scared_aussie, i know him from hw, and we talked many times, and all i told him was to calm down and come talk to me on hw chat if he wants to.
"Hey bro, take it easy on urself ok? u r not pathetic or anything!! i am on hw chat if u wanna come and talk.I am sure someone will come and answer your questions here, it is just usually over the weekend there is not alot of activity here, or so I noticed." <====there is nothing wrong with saying that!!!
And as for the pm I sent to Dude, i sent him a link to one of the moderators on hw, where he explains that part with the blood thing, so I was not giving any advice to anyone, and I never claimed to be an expert at all!!
Although this site is great as far as giving information and risk assessement, it lacks alot of emotional support which most of us "worried souls" need at that time.
I -in no way- intended to offend anyone here and i never will, I do respect everyone here and everything that u do here, and i am sorry if i tried to calm someone (that i already know) down. I will not do it again!!
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am not tryin to scare u, but there is a guy who got infected due to a fight, here is a link to teh case
The are no documented cases of someone getting HIV from fighting. I read the post that you referred Dude to and say his conclusion of contracting HIV is preposterous.
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Well,
am not tryin to scare u, but there is a guy who got infected due to a fight, here is a link to teh case
The are no documented cases of someone getting HIV from fighting. I read the post that you referred Dude to and say his conclusion of contracting HIV is preposterous.
I know what u r saying, and that is why i asked u what do u mean by documented cases?? documented to who? does the case has to be part of a study supervised by doctors? or someone can go to a doctor and say i kissed someone and i want to test for HIv, and if he tests positive, then the case will be documented.
In other words, is documentation related to patient reporting or scientific studies of magnetic couples? coz if it is related to only supervised studies, it doesnt mean that no one got it from kissing, or recieving oral etc....
It is easy for someone to say there has never been a documented case of transmission through kissing, but now when i ask u what do u mean by documented, u dont want to answer the question!!
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Like we have said before you DO NOT know enough about HIV. If anyone has Positive result it's documented. It's a requirement that all positive results are documented and reported to the health department. So if someone wants to claim they were infected by unusual circumstances, it would be investigated and reported to the CDC.
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Like we have said before you DO NOT know enough about HIV. If anyone has Positive result it's documented. It's a requirement that all positive results are documented and reported to the health department. So if someone wants to claim they were infected by unusual circumstances, it would be investigated and reported to the CDC.
Thanks for answering the question, and again, I NEVER CLAIMED TO KNOW ENOUGH ABOUT HIV, that is why i am here in the first place!Ann is right so are u, I should not have sent this link to this guy. I apologize.
So now u r saying that in all the cases where someone tested +ve for HIv, there has never been a single person who got it from deep kissing, or mutual masterbation? This will be my last question.
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Man,
According to the PM I received from Aussie, he's not too pleased with you either. This site does not exist to allow people with over the top hiv worries to enable each other to become more worried. Just stay out of other people's threads and stop PMing links to dodgy claims to other people.
Documented means that a person's claim as to how they were infected has been proven by scientific and medical evidence. This pandemic has been going for over twenty-five years now - don't you think that we know a thing or two about how it is and is NOT transmitted by now? Neither kissing nor mutual masturbation are risks for hiv infection.
Ann
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Correct. That's what I'm saying. Every testing facilities has to report all positive results, not the persons name but the positive result.
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Ann, and Rod, thank u every much for the clarification. I now understand what u r saying, I just dont understand that why when people (including myself) give u other details, like in my case gum disease and inflammation(gingivitis), u still say NO risk,eventhough the other person is possibly HIV +ve. and always say we r trying to put a spin on it!! wouldnt the prescence of inflammation make an entrance for the virus? or u also mean that there has not been documented cases EVEN WITH the prescence of inflammation/gum disease when it comes to deep kissing?. Thank you, this will be my last posting.
I do apologize again for pming other members. God bless u all....
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If you gave someone a bj then we would say it's on the lowest end of risk levels. It's a vanishing theoretical risk to begin with. You do now what theoretical means don't you? There has never been a risk of HIV infection by receiving a bj. Since this is your last post on AidsMeds. I wish you luck. Life is not meant to be lived in fears.
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If you gave someone a bj then we would say it's on the lowest end of risk levels. It's a vanishing theoretical risk to begin with. You do now what theoretical means don't you? There has never been a risk of HIV infection by receiving a bj. Since this is your last post on AidsMeds. I wish you luck. Life is not meant to be lived in fears.
I dont know if u were giving an example, but my risk was not receiving a bj. I know what a theoritical risk means, but u guys just dont want to reason, if i say i have gum disease and gingivitis, u still stay no risk, like it is the law! won't inflammation make transmission possible? or just the presecence of saliva eliminates that possibilty? also if the person has high viral load, won't this play a role? Dr. H said so on one of his posts on medhelp. Also the duration of kissing (hours) isnt this enough to cause small injury in the lips and mouth from the lip sucking, tongue sucking, soft biting movement? or still makes no difference.
I know i said i wont post again, i dont want to be hated by the people here, coz i have a feeling i will be part of ur family pretty soon, it is just i had classic ARS symptoms 2 weeks post exposure, and 4 swollen nodes in the neck -confirmed- (still present 3 months post exposure), what other possibilities do i have??? I made an appointment with an HIV specialist and i will go and let u guys know the result, can someone give me a final comment on these comments that i just made? I think I might be irrational, but with all the facts i presented, i need someone to discuss them with me , other than attacking me and saying not to post again. I know u guys r here to help not to make ppl feel bad or sad.!!
p.s I know i caught sthg from this girl, i just cant think of anything else that has these symptoms except hiv, considering that she is possibly hiv +ve.
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man,
Am I Infected? is not a discussion forum nor an intensive therapy site for people with unfounded fears regarding HIV. We have been more than patient with you. You've repaid that patience and effort by repeatedly breaching the rules, ignoring the good advice and guidance you've been given and harassing our other members with unwanted and offensive private messages.
We are not here to debate the mechanics of HIV infection with you. We're not interested in what your opinions on these matters might be. Largely because you're wrong on these issues. There are plenty of other places on the internet where you can argue with people about this stuff.
AIDSMEDS is not one of them.
Your needs are outside the scope of what we are able to provide here. It's time for you to move on, before an enraged Moderator moves you on forcibly.
MtD
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man,
Am I Infected? is not a discussion forum nor an intensive therapy site for people with unfounded fears regarding HIV. We have been more than patient with you. You've repaid that patience and effort by repeatedly breaching the rules, ignoring the good advice and guidance you've been given and harassing our other members with unwanted and offensive private messages.
We are not here to debate the mechanics of HIV infection with you. We're not interested in what your opinions on these matters might be. Largely because you're wrong on these issues. There are plenty of other places on the internet where you can argue with people about this stuff.
AIDSMEDS is not one of them.
Your needs are outside the scope of what we are able to provide here. It's time for you to move on, before an enraged Moderator moves you on forcibly.
MtD
I never intentionally meant to break the rules (sometimes ppl do wrong things when they are not in the right state of mind and i apologize about that), I never offended anyone in here!!, I always showed respect to everyone here, I am not debating the mechanics and i am not qualified to do so, i am merely asking questions to get advice in return not to argue with anyone. (i am in no position to argue) .
This is exactly what i am talking about, i am expressing myself and trying to understand, and u just attack me and threaten me to be kicked out of the forum. I will not have any further posts (this time for real) , I thank everyone for their patience and advice.
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I dont know what to say, but you guys were right all way long. I finally built the courage and tested after 4 months with the rapid oraquick and it came back negative!! I couldnt believe it myself and can still hardly believe it!! I felt the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders. I am still kind of worried that it might be a false negative in that I didnt swipe the thing correctly and it didnt have enough saliva on it, but everyone assures me there is no false negative with this test and after 4 months.
I want to send special thanks to Rodney, he has been patient with me, also special thanks to Ann, Mr. Velez, and matthew. Guys I owe u my life, i kept thinking of all ur posts while waiting for my results. I also volunteered in the biggest AIDS organization where I am, and will attend my first meeting soon to prepare for the AIDS walk. This is the least I can do to say thank u.
Thank you AIDSMEDS from the bottom of my heart, I am no longer man_apart.....
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hi everyone, I will make this as short as I can.
about 1 year ago i dated this girl for 2 weeks, she is a high risk person (history of injecting drugs, etc..)
I had a few encounters with her that involved prolonged french kissing (for hours), and she masterbated me twice and I fingered her deeply and vigorously for long times and got vaginal secretions on my hands.
about 4 weeks after, i got sick like never before:
-worst sore throat ever - night sweats- chills -diarrhea -loss of appetite - white coating on tongue -lost 15 pounds , about 2 weeks later i had swollen lymph nodes on my jaw line mainly one under my left ear a size of a miniture egg. I felt like crap for 6 weeks almost.
, sever pain in my axillary lymph nodes that lasted for 4 weeks,I had a rapid oral test for hiv 4 months after that which came back negative.
i had 2 sexual encounters with 2 different girls after that , it was protected vaginal sex and unprotected oral (give and take), both girls tested and came back negative.
My doctor tested me for std , all came back negative. I tested positive for EBV and herpes 1, he couldnt tell if my ebv was recent or not.
since then i still have swollen lymph nodes on my jaw line, they never went down. My doctor couldnt figure out why my lymph nodes were swollen.
I am afraid the oral test was a false negative. i have been scared and depressed every single minute of my life for a year. I have a gf now and she is pregnant. I am scared to death that I passed hiv to her and my baby will be hiv +ve. I tried to build the courage to get a blood test for hiv but i am scared like hell. I cant get this out of mind. please tell me honestly
1-what is the chance of me having hiv?
2-do i need to get tested again?
3- could my oral hiv test results be a false negative? does that happen?
4- Why are my lymph nodes still swollen?
Please answer me, i can't think of anything everyday except that I have hiv, my doctor put me on meds for anxiety and depression, but nothing is helping, i tried counseling but didnt help, please help me.... ???
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sad sad,
Can I ask why you are using different usernames while posting to our forums? Thus far, you have also used man_apart (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=2858.0;all)
Please realize that this kind of activity is disrespectful of other forum members, as well as our moderators. People spend a considerable amount of time helping others in these forums. Using multiple accounts is at the very least annoying, if not deceiving and disrespectful of others. It is also against our Terms of Membership (http://forums.poz.com/Terms.htm) which you agreed to when you became a member. This information is also contained within the Welcome Thread (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=220.0), which you should have read by now. So really, you have no excuse.
You must realize that the answers won't change, no matter how many names you post under.
I would appreciate a reply to this message, and I hope you will commit to using just one account - preferably your original one. If not, you will be banned from further access to the forums.
Ann
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Ann, I forgot what my user name and password are as i havent been here in months, i am not tryin to play any games whatsoever or be disrespectful 2 anyone, i came here for help and i was afraid to say that i have been here before as i know everyone will ignore me :-\
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sad,
Now that you know what your old username was, if you still can't remember your password, then use the link provided for such an occasion. I'm disabling your new account and merging your threads. Re-read your old thread - our answers are not going to change.
If you cannot accept your negative result from a no risk incident, then I suggest you seek counseling to learn how to cope with your sexual anxiety. We cannot do that for you here.
Ann