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Author Topic: Did I infected my Friend ?  (Read 6520 times)

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Offline panda

  • Member
  • Posts: 224
Did I infected my Friend ?
« on: November 29, 2010, 06:41:10 pm »
I am  FEMALE HIV +.Viral load undetectable for many years.
I went thru something very bad in my private life today and I went to get some comfort at an old friend.
One thing lead to the other , he does not know about my HIV ..I aked him to put a condom , he put it once and then during the sex he took it off. I tried.. I realy did to take him off me but he was about to come and pull some force on me. The result is that I did an un protected sea.
What are the chances I have infected him with my VL undetectable for a very long time ?
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Offline RapidRod

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  • Posts: 15,288
Re: Did I infected my Friend ?
« Reply #1 on: November 29, 2010, 06:43:53 pm »
Wrong forum.
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Offline odyssey

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  • Posts: 784
  • Mutiny of the neurons!
Re: Did I infected my Friend ?
« Reply #2 on: November 29, 2010, 09:29:47 pm »
Quote from: RapidRod on November 29, 2010, 06:43:53 pm
Wrong forum.

She said she is poz, and she is wondering if she could have infected a friend. How is this the wrong forum. I don't think this belongs in Am I Infected? She already knows she is infected. This is about living with HIV and dealing with the possibility of infecting someone else.

odyssey
Logged
01/09/09- diagnosed HIV+
01/16/09   CD4-425    22%  VL- 32,415
11/09- started Reyetaz/Norvir/Truvada
03/10- stopped R/N/T
10/18/11   CD4- 328   20%  VL- 84,000
10/25/11   CD4- 386   22%
10/28/11- start Truvada/Reyetaz/Norvir
12/30/11  CD4- 523  29%
03/08/12  CD4- 503  31%  VL 57
07/02/12  CD4- 897  43%
08/31/12  CD4- 745  39%
12/27/12  CD4- 884  40%
03/28/13  CD4- 819  39%
07/19/13  CD4- 739  40%
10/17/13  CD4- 535  36%
01/16/14  CD4- 743  43%

02/14- switched from R/N/T to Tivicay/Epzicom because of CKD 3 suspected from tenofovir.

03/14- switched back to R/N/T due to severe nausea and inability to eat on T/E.
 
04/01/14 CD4- 898  42%   VL-

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,288
Re: Did I infected my Friend ?
« Reply #3 on: November 29, 2010, 10:01:28 pm »
Quote from: odyssey on November 29, 2010, 09:29:47 pm
She said she is poz, and she is wondering if she could have infected a friend. How is this the wrong forum. I don't think this belongs in Am I Infected? She already knows she is infected. This is about living with HIV and dealing with the possibility of infecting someone else.

odyssey
Had you took time to look she had posted it in the "Am I Infected?" forum and Andy moved it to the Living with forum.
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Granny60

  • Guest
Re: Did I infected my Friend ?
« Reply #4 on: November 29, 2010, 10:05:37 pm »
Being on meds for a long time and undectable greatly reduces the chance. If it was a "quickie", even lest chance. If you went at like rabbits for an hour and a half, maybe a little more chance. If he gets tested in a couple months and comes up neg, you will know for sure, but I would think the chance is small. You have to remember that you have a better chance of picking up a bug from him, than he did from you.  Pretty much any time that a lady says no and  the man refuse to stop it is considered rape. It is probably not a word you want to hear, but that is the way the law falls.
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Offline odyssey

  • Member
  • Posts: 784
  • Mutiny of the neurons!
Re: Did I infected my Friend ?
« Reply #5 on: November 29, 2010, 10:09:27 pm »
Quote from: RapidRod on November 29, 2010, 10:01:28 pm
Had you took time to look she had posted it in the "Am I Infected?" forum and Andy moved it to the Living with forum.

Why would I check to see if this post was moved from another forum category? I looked in Living With HIV, saw this post, and read it. I saw your comment of "wrong forum" and responded. There was no indication that it had previously been posted in Am I Infected? Maybe you should have stated something more detailed than what you did rather than blaming me for assuming a post was posted in the forum it actually was showing up in?

odyssey
Logged
01/09/09- diagnosed HIV+
01/16/09   CD4-425    22%  VL- 32,415
11/09- started Reyetaz/Norvir/Truvada
03/10- stopped R/N/T
10/18/11   CD4- 328   20%  VL- 84,000
10/25/11   CD4- 386   22%
10/28/11- start Truvada/Reyetaz/Norvir
12/30/11  CD4- 523  29%
03/08/12  CD4- 503  31%  VL 57
07/02/12  CD4- 897  43%
08/31/12  CD4- 745  39%
12/27/12  CD4- 884  40%
03/28/13  CD4- 819  39%
07/19/13  CD4- 739  40%
10/17/13  CD4- 535  36%
01/16/14  CD4- 743  43%

02/14- switched from R/N/T to Tivicay/Epzicom because of CKD 3 suspected from tenofovir.

03/14- switched back to R/N/T due to severe nausea and inability to eat on T/E.
 
04/01/14 CD4- 898  42%   VL-

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,288
Re: Did I infected my Friend ?
« Reply #6 on: November 29, 2010, 10:14:55 pm »
Quote from: odyssey on November 29, 2010, 10:09:27 pm
Why would I check to see if this post was moved from another forum category? I looked in Living With HIV, saw this post, and read it. I saw your comment of "wrong forum" and responded. There was no indication that it had previously been posted in Am I Infected? Maybe you should have stated something more detailed than what you did rather than blaming me for assuming a post was posted in the forum it actually was showing up in?

odyssey
   MOVED: Did I infected my Friend ?  Andy Velez  0  13   Today at 08:51:42 PMby Andy Velez  
 Main Forums / Positive Women / Did I infected my Friend ?  on: Today at 06:44:52 PM  edited to add: she reposted her question.
« Last Edit: November 29, 2010, 10:18:22 pm by RapidRod »
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Offline buginme2

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,426
Re: Did I infected my Friend ?
« Reply #7 on: November 29, 2010, 10:38:02 pm »
If your his friend you would tell him so he could get tested instead of asking here if you infected him.
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Don't be fancy, just get dancey

Offline littleprince

  • Member
  • Posts: 201
Re: Did I infected my Friend ?
« Reply #8 on: November 30, 2010, 04:37:42 am »
Wow Rapid and Odyssey, you've managed to take over the thread with your petty squabbles. Good job. I'm sure everyone is as fascinated reading your posts as I am.

Panda, since you're undetectable the likelihood of transmission is extremely low. On a side note, if someone did that to me I'd break their nose at the very least and then tell them my status (leaving out the undetectable bit).

He should be told of your status, if only to make sure he doesn't infect others if he does become positive and doesn't know it.
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Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,288
Re: Did I infected my Friend ?
« Reply #9 on: November 30, 2010, 04:45:43 am »
Quote from: littleprince on November 30, 2010, 04:37:42 am
Wow Rapid and Odyssey, you've managed to take over the thread with your petty squabbles. Good job. I'm sure everyone is as fascinated reading your posts as I am.

Panda, since you're undetectable the likelihood of transmission is extremely low. On a side note, if someone did that to me I'd break their nose at the very least and then tell them my status (leaving out the undetectable bit).

He should be told of your status, if only to make sure he doesn't infect others if he does become positive and doesn't know it.

Had you read it you would have read she was told the wrong forum at 6:43 and Panda reposted her question in the Positive Womens Forum at 6:44.
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Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 34,126
Re: Did I infected my Friend ?
« Reply #10 on: November 30, 2010, 09:01:26 am »
Panda, I meant to respond when I moved your thread yesterday and was then distracted by something else. My apologies for not having answered your inquiry soon.

The risk for the insertive partner in the situation you have presented is much lower than for a receptive partner. It was a single incident. You mention that your vl is undetectable which is another plus in terms of low level risk to your friend.

So it comes down to you having to decide whether to disclose to him about your status. That's a personal decision. I appreciate your sense of responsibility in the situation. At the same time for anyone, including your adult friend to consent to intercourse without a condom is to implicitly accept responsibility for himself.

Personally I agree with Little Prince that telling your friend is the thing to do. However, this is a personal decision and you have to decide what you feel is the right thing for you to do.

« Last Edit: November 30, 2010, 09:03:41 am by Andy Velez »
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Andy Velez

Offline odyssey

  • Member
  • Posts: 784
  • Mutiny of the neurons!
Re: Did I infected my Friend ?
« Reply #11 on: November 30, 2010, 02:27:10 pm »
Panda-

I agree with the others who have stated the risk to your friend is fairly low, considering he was the penetrative partner and you have an undetectable viral load. I do think he should be informed that he was at risk so he can get tested however, but I don't necessarily think you have to risk your privacy by disclosing to him personally.

As far as I know, there are websites you can go to where you can anonymously send e-cards to people letting them know they have been exposed to an STD and should get tested. I'm sure you can find such a source of private disclosure if you google it or something.

That way he'll know to get tested and you can feel less burdened, but you'll still have your privacy if you don't feel like letting him know that you are poz. Hope this helps, and sorry if it seemed like I was hijacking your thread, that wasn't my intent, I was just confused.

odyssey
Logged
01/09/09- diagnosed HIV+
01/16/09   CD4-425    22%  VL- 32,415
11/09- started Reyetaz/Norvir/Truvada
03/10- stopped R/N/T
10/18/11   CD4- 328   20%  VL- 84,000
10/25/11   CD4- 386   22%
10/28/11- start Truvada/Reyetaz/Norvir
12/30/11  CD4- 523  29%
03/08/12  CD4- 503  31%  VL 57
07/02/12  CD4- 897  43%
08/31/12  CD4- 745  39%
12/27/12  CD4- 884  40%
03/28/13  CD4- 819  39%
07/19/13  CD4- 739  40%
10/17/13  CD4- 535  36%
01/16/14  CD4- 743  43%

02/14- switched from R/N/T to Tivicay/Epzicom because of CKD 3 suspected from tenofovir.

03/14- switched back to R/N/T due to severe nausea and inability to eat on T/E.
 
04/01/14 CD4- 898  42%   VL-

Offline panda

  • Member
  • Posts: 224
Re: Did I infected my Friend ?
« Reply #12 on: December 03, 2010, 02:28:44 pm »
Thanks for your advaice.
I was talkig with him .. asking him to get tested now and few weeks after .. I did not say anything about myself..I just told him if this is the way he is doing sex all the time then he MUST get tested.
I just got my regulary tests few days ago - undetectable . Still.
Logged

Offline odyssey

  • Member
  • Posts: 784
  • Mutiny of the neurons!
Re: Did I infected my Friend ?
« Reply #13 on: December 03, 2010, 04:00:42 pm »
Quote from: panda on December 03, 2010, 02:28:44 pm
Thanks for your advaice.
I was talkig with him .. asking him to get tested now and few weeks after .. I did not say anything about myself..I just told him if this is the way he is doing sex all the time then he MUST get tested.
I just got my regulary tests few days ago - undetectable . Still.

I must say, what a brilliant way to go about advising him to get tested without having to reveal your own status! It will definitely get the point across that he is at high risk, but it won't put you in the limelight. Well thought out solution my friend!

odyssey
Logged
01/09/09- diagnosed HIV+
01/16/09   CD4-425    22%  VL- 32,415
11/09- started Reyetaz/Norvir/Truvada
03/10- stopped R/N/T
10/18/11   CD4- 328   20%  VL- 84,000
10/25/11   CD4- 386   22%
10/28/11- start Truvada/Reyetaz/Norvir
12/30/11  CD4- 523  29%
03/08/12  CD4- 503  31%  VL 57
07/02/12  CD4- 897  43%
08/31/12  CD4- 745  39%
12/27/12  CD4- 884  40%
03/28/13  CD4- 819  39%
07/19/13  CD4- 739  40%
10/17/13  CD4- 535  36%
01/16/14  CD4- 743  43%

02/14- switched from R/N/T to Tivicay/Epzicom because of CKD 3 suspected from tenofovir.

03/14- switched back to R/N/T due to severe nausea and inability to eat on T/E.
 
04/01/14 CD4- 898  42%   VL-

Offline odyssey

  • Member
  • Posts: 784
  • Mutiny of the neurons!
Re: Did I infected my Friend ?
« Reply #14 on: December 03, 2010, 04:01:06 pm »
Oh, and congrats on the continued UD!

odyssey
Logged
01/09/09- diagnosed HIV+
01/16/09   CD4-425    22%  VL- 32,415
11/09- started Reyetaz/Norvir/Truvada
03/10- stopped R/N/T
10/18/11   CD4- 328   20%  VL- 84,000
10/25/11   CD4- 386   22%
10/28/11- start Truvada/Reyetaz/Norvir
12/30/11  CD4- 523  29%
03/08/12  CD4- 503  31%  VL 57
07/02/12  CD4- 897  43%
08/31/12  CD4- 745  39%
12/27/12  CD4- 884  40%
03/28/13  CD4- 819  39%
07/19/13  CD4- 739  40%
10/17/13  CD4- 535  36%
01/16/14  CD4- 743  43%

02/14- switched from R/N/T to Tivicay/Epzicom because of CKD 3 suspected from tenofovir.

03/14- switched back to R/N/T due to severe nausea and inability to eat on T/E.
 
04/01/14 CD4- 898  42%   VL-

Offline panda

  • Member
  • Posts: 224
Re: Did I infected my Friend ?
« Reply #15 on: December 06, 2010, 02:56:08 pm »
well so far he does not show any intention to go for that test ..  :(
Logged

Offline odyssey

  • Member
  • Posts: 784
  • Mutiny of the neurons!
Re: Did I infected my Friend ?
« Reply #16 on: December 06, 2010, 06:26:40 pm »
Quote from: panda on December 06, 2010, 02:56:08 pm
well so far he does not show any intention to go for that test ..  :(

In that case, maybe the anonymous email saying he was exposed to HIV might give him a little more incentive. I found a website where you can pick the design of the card, enter his email address, and put in a customized message if you want. Here's the link:

http://www.inspot.org/

Good luck!
odyssey
Logged
01/09/09- diagnosed HIV+
01/16/09   CD4-425    22%  VL- 32,415
11/09- started Reyetaz/Norvir/Truvada
03/10- stopped R/N/T
10/18/11   CD4- 328   20%  VL- 84,000
10/25/11   CD4- 386   22%
10/28/11- start Truvada/Reyetaz/Norvir
12/30/11  CD4- 523  29%
03/08/12  CD4- 503  31%  VL 57
07/02/12  CD4- 897  43%
08/31/12  CD4- 745  39%
12/27/12  CD4- 884  40%
03/28/13  CD4- 819  39%
07/19/13  CD4- 739  40%
10/17/13  CD4- 535  36%
01/16/14  CD4- 743  43%

02/14- switched from R/N/T to Tivicay/Epzicom because of CKD 3 suspected from tenofovir.

03/14- switched back to R/N/T due to severe nausea and inability to eat on T/E.
 
04/01/14 CD4- 898  42%   VL-
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