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Author Topic: I AM SO FRUSTRATED  (Read 3900 times)

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Offline planonstaying

  • Member
  • Posts: 169
  • Hiv is the FOX,tcells the rabbit, CALL the HOUNDS!
I AM SO FRUSTRATED
« on: March 10, 2008, 05:26:25 pm »
I got real sick from sero conversion in Jan 2007 and didnt get better till March
Most of the rest of the year I struggled with an episode of major depression and still had a lot of left over malaise
I missed a ton of work
Now  it is great I have np gettting out fo bed and going to work

I fell behind on my condo fees and went to catch them up so I could close on the place. A demand letter was sent out by an attorney 2 days ago. The management company couldnt help me or accept my payment and gave me the number.  They charged 300.00 to send out a letter I haven't yet recieved and will only take  payment  by bank check  and messenger or mail..........I WANTED TO SCREAM. I am jammed up trying to make my closing

I fell behind on my mortgage and sold low to avoid forclosure. I would be in foreclosure on the 30th of this month. I am closing before then.  If you read about sub primes  you know GWB asked them to work with people and  we didnt need any "bail out"  but the banks are all getting one  :'(  No one dropped my userious rate  like they dropped the rate the bank is paying on money. Anyway they  offered to help me in DEC by having me make 1.5 mortgage payments to catch up at the same time I was trying to pay the last 1000.00 of my 2400.00 condo assessment. So umm yeah their voluntary plan had them reciveing a rate cut while  I had to pay  1.5 payments. They refused to work with me on the  pre payment penalty  meaning I could pay forclosure costs or the prepayment penalty. I refied because I had missed work with a blown disc  and  fell behind 3 years ago after surgury. So  for  a 100k mortgage the bloodsuckers are now getting  5k in intial closing costs and 4k in prepayment penallties because I have to sell 60 days before the prepayment  penalty expires. I was reall doing ok with it all till  I was told I have to pay additional 300.00  to a lawyer  who sent a type writen
un uncertified  letter to me about the condo fees. I just want to scream. A paralegals half page letter is 300.00.... My face is flush my blood pressure is through the roof.  Thats' the financial repercussions of me  catching HIV  and it sucks. I just can't wait to be moved into my apt.  It has been such a balancing act with $ the last year I feel totaly wiped and overwhelmed. I feel like crying. I am not really money focused bt it...OMG THE MORTGAGE COMPANY CALLED ASD I WAS TYPING THIS. I was getting chest pains talking to him. How many ways do I have to say I am closing  before the end of the month....well at least now i am pissed not weepy.  I sucked woth money before HIV and last year I had none becuase I was so  sick/ depressed from this virus. If you read this ramble I hope your brain isnt scrambled now
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If someone tells you  potential consequences of a behavior  it  doesn't  mean they jude you or mit    they may just give a shit about you

Offline planonstaying

  • Member
  • Posts: 169
  • Hiv is the FOX,tcells the rabbit, CALL the HOUNDS!
Re: I AM SO FRUSTRATED
« Reply #1 on: March 10, 2008, 05:29:10 pm »
I'm crying I guess it's been a long time coming.
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If someone tells you  potential consequences of a behavior  it  doesn't  mean they jude you or mit    they may just give a shit about you

Offline BT65

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  • Member
  • Posts: 10,786
Re: I AM SO FRUSTRATED
« Reply #2 on: March 10, 2008, 06:31:34 pm »
I understand financial issues due to HIV, believe me. 

I hope you pull through this alright.  Just hang in there.
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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

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Offline mjmel

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,069
Re: I AM SO FRUSTRATED
« Reply #3 on: March 10, 2008, 06:40:22 pm »
I read this and had to log on to say...
pour yourself a tall glass of wine and have another good cry because you've been throught the wringer, dear.
so sorry to hear of your troubles.
Just let it out.

Mike
Logged

Offline Snowangel

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,429
Re: I AM SO FRUSTRATED
« Reply #4 on: March 10, 2008, 06:40:36 pm »
Sorry you are going through all this, Planonstaying.  I ended up filing bankruptcy last summer because I couldn't take the stress any longer.  You can only do what you can do.  I totally understand your frustration and I hope everything works out with the move.
Snow
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Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important

The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge..

One thing you can give and still keep...is your word.

One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.

Offline Queen Tokelove

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  • Posts: 6,031
  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: I AM SO FRUSTRATED
« Reply #5 on: March 10, 2008, 07:18:08 pm »
I totally understand your frustration. I have been feeling that way too, not about a condo but just the gas bill which no one including the gas company wants to help me with. It's a pain in the ass and it's hard to be strong when you feel like crying or going postal.
Logged
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

Offline planonstaying

  • Member
  • Posts: 169
  • Hiv is the FOX,tcells the rabbit, CALL the HOUNDS!
Re: I AM SO FRUSTRATED
« Reply #6 on: March 10, 2008, 07:47:07 pm »
The good thing about ADHD is as fast as I wind up I get distracted and move on. ::) I watched some TV. It was the conclusion of a series i have loved for 5 years( the Wire).  The bottomline is 15 days from now it will be over and my housing costs will be far lower and I will be living in a beautiful old Brownstone,  in a coimmunity I would much rather be living in. They can all have their blood money. At the end of the day  anyone who  makes a living  profiting off of others hardship must cut themselves shaving in the mirror because they  couldnt possibly be looking themselves in the face. I will get the bank check I will over night it to the lawyer I will have my closing and pay my pre payment penalties and this chapter(2007 and getting HIV) of my life will be finished and i will start writing a new one ....now if I say all that enough I will begin to feel it because it is the truth.  ;D

PS if I poured that glass of wine I might end up going for that  Baccardi 151 and  20 minutes later and hopping in the car, heading to Manhatten   and you would see me  on the morning news trying to burn down  Chase Manhatten bank :-\  with flaming shots while screaming  DEATH TO TO CABALISTIC CAPITOLISM  CHE LIVES. I must be ok I am laughing at  myself again
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If someone tells you  potential consequences of a behavior  it  doesn't  mean they jude you or mit    they may just give a shit about you

Offline Queen Tokelove

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,031
  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: I AM SO FRUSTRATED
« Reply #7 on: March 10, 2008, 08:32:22 pm »
Glad to see you are feeling better or at least can laugh. I have been watching The Wire too and so does Betty. I wasn't all that crazy about the ending though. I wanted Marlo to DIE. But it was interesting to see how certain people ended up. Ok, sorry for the hijack but you started it.... ;)
Logged
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

Offline bear60

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,105
Re: I AM SO FRUSTRATED
« Reply #8 on: March 11, 2008, 05:51:56 pm »
Plan on.....
I can relate to your anger. Its good that you can see the humor in the end.
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Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline fabianpoz2003

  • Member
  • Posts: 16
Re: I AM SO FRUSTRATED
« Reply #9 on: March 11, 2008, 11:33:24 pm »
Courage


Come and visit me in Paris
Logged

Offline planonstaying

  • Member
  • Posts: 169
  • Hiv is the FOX,tcells the rabbit, CALL the HOUNDS!
Re: I AM SO FRUSTRATED
« Reply #10 on: April 10, 2008, 07:56:56 pm »
Well I closed 10 days ago
I am living  exactly where i wanted to down to the street
I have been  doing a TON of walking and my feet have been good mostly despite that
I have even rediscovered the joys of  listening to other peoples problems at meetings again
i owe not one red cent to anyone!
I don't think i have ever been happier
It's pretty amazing what  can change over a few weeks if I just put one foot in front of another
Logged
If someone tells you  potential consequences of a behavior  it  doesn't  mean they jude you or mit    they may just give a shit about you

Offline AlanBama

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,670
  • Alabama: the 'other' 3rd World Country!
Re: I AM SO FRUSTRATED
« Reply #11 on: April 10, 2008, 08:27:45 pm »
Yay!  That's great.   So glad things are looking up for you.

hugs,

Alan
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"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline AndyArrow

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,197
Re: I AM SO FRUSTRATED
« Reply #12 on: April 10, 2008, 09:07:00 pm »
Glad to hear things are going so much better and that you mood has improved.  There is a great T-shirt that says "Next mood swing in five minutes"

AA
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It is not the arrival that matters.  It is the journey along the way. -- Michel Montaigne

Offline mjmel

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,069
Re: I AM SO FRUSTRATED
« Reply #13 on: April 11, 2008, 07:09:47 am »
A good news update. It's swell that it worked out for your benefit. Happy for ya.
Now, about the offer to visit Paris.....

 :)
Mike
Logged

Offline BT65

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 10,786
Re: I AM SO FRUSTRATED
« Reply #14 on: April 11, 2008, 09:30:31 am »
Planton, that's such good news.  You know how it goes, one thing at a time and eventually I think we get where we're supposed to be.
   Luv,
Betty
Logged
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Condom and Lube Info https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/safer-sex
Please check out our lessons on PEP and PrEP. https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/pep-prep

https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/treatmentasprevention-tasp
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