POZ Community Forums

HIV Prevention and Testing => Do I Have HIV? => Topic started by: Dave on August 15, 2007, 12:25:07 pm

Title: Do I need to test for HIV?
Post by: Dave on August 15, 2007, 12:25:07 pm
First of all I would like to congrat for your wonderful job.

I'm a male and in the past I often had sexual encounters with non-monogamous females.
I have always used condoms during my sexual activities and sometimes I even refused vaginal intercourse because I was a bit suspicious of the partner. It seems they were used to have unsafe sex with others.

I'm a bit paranoid regarding this issue but safety is not a joke!

I'm not married and I haven't had a girlfriend so far. Five or six years ago I was used to date with escorts. I have always used condoms with them and practiced safe sex.

Since then I decided to make a stop and I entered in a totally forced sexual abstinence.
I'm now very unhappy and I'm often nervous or depressed. I don't know if it is due only for the lack of sex in my daily life or whatever but I think that sex plays a good role in my discontent.

I'm planning to date with an escort but I'm concerned with the following:
She told me she sometimes practice fellatio without a condom. Maybe I'm a bit exaggerated but for me this behavior is unsafe for the following STDs:

-Chlamydia.
-Gonohrrea.
-NGU.
-Herpes.
-Syphilis.

I usually like to get fellatio. I like to practice mutual masturbation, vaginal fingering and, if I get a good feeling from my partner, vaginal intercourse too.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My questions:

-Does the condom constitutes an effective means of prevention against these STDs?

-Are these STDs so frequent in female sex workers practicing fellatio without a condom?

-Does it count she is a sex worker? I was thinking the number of encounters have something to do with the risk. Is it true or not?

-What do you suggest me? Should I feel myself safe if I decide to have sex with her?

Thank you a lot for your support and patience.
-----
Dave

P.S.I'm sorry for my english but this is not my native language.
Title: Re: Not only concerned for HIV!
Post by: RapidRod on August 15, 2007, 12:31:03 pm
Seek the proper information that you requested from an STD website or clinic. This is an HIV assessment website forum.
Title: Re: Not only concerned for HIV!
Post by: Dave on August 15, 2007, 12:47:51 pm
Hi RapiRod,
Thank you for your quick response.
I read the STDs Chart at the following URL www.dph.sf.ca.us/sfcityclinic/stdbasics/stdchart.asp (http://www.dph.sf.ca.us/sfcityclinic/stdbasics/stdchart.asp)

Anyway I'm not totally satisfied with the infos. In particulary, in the whole website there are no proper informations about the way Syphilis is trasmitted.

Does it have to be clearly visible over the skin to be contagious? In other websites I visited they claims it doesn't need to be so and that it is transmittable even during the latent phase. Is it the same for Herpes?

Could you point me to a good web resource that is able to shed some light on the subject?

Thank you again and sorry for making my questions in the wrong place.

--
Dave :)
Title: Re: Not only concerned for HIV!
Post by: Andy Velez on August 15, 2007, 01:18:58 pm
This is a women's focused site regarding STDs, but you may find the general information will answer some of your questions:

http://www.4women.gov/FAQ/stdsgen.htm

Have you talked with your doctor about this subject and your concerns?

Title: Re: Not only concerned for HIV!
Post by: Dave on August 15, 2007, 01:51:02 pm
Thank you very much Andy.
I never talked to my doctor because he is too much catholic. I respect all forms of religions but most of the time it's very difficult to speak about sexual issues to doctors who have a very conservative vision:
I mean the ones who profess a monogamous relationships and only abstinence for the non married people.

Many years ago I was very concerned with HIV and I talked to my doctor. I told him about my concern and that I have had a sexual relationship with a sex worker.

He was only able to tell me that I did a mistake and that it was not the case to expose myself to such an high risk. He didn't alleviate my panic and my discomfort. Many years have passed since then and if I recall to mind such event I think of him has an untouchy person. I have informed him I had used a condom and there were no reasons to be so dramatic.

Maybe I have to speak about these kind of issues with a sexuologist. I think it will be more comprehensive with me than my doctor.

Thanks again for your precious help.  :)

--
Dave
Title: Re: Not only concerned for HIV!
Post by: Andy Velez on August 15, 2007, 01:53:16 pm
Dave, if you cannot speak openly with your doctor about any health issues you may have, either now or in the future, then I suggest you get yourself another doctor. The one you have now may be very good, but you should be able to have a very open working partnership to get the best healthcare.

That's my unsolicited opinion on that.

Cheers,
Title: Re: Not only concerned for HIV!
Post by: Ann on August 15, 2007, 02:03:34 pm
Dave,

The Drama Down Under (http://www.thedramadownunder.info/) is a good site as well. It's geared toward Australian gay men, but the information is the same no matter what your location or sexuality.

As regards not being able to talk to your doctor about sexual matters, most communities have sexual health clinics. Check your local phone book or ring your local hospital and ask for a recommendation.

While you're here, check out the three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use them with confidence.

Ann


Title: Re: Not only concerned for HIV!
Post by: Dave on August 15, 2007, 02:26:29 pm
Thank you Ann and thanks to all of you. You are all very nice and friendly.

Ann, I will check if in my local community there is a sexual health clinic. I know of a toll free phone service which offers support for AIDS prevention, maybe they will be able to give me the informations I need.

You give me a lot of informations and support . Now it's my job to do the rest here in my country. *I'm based in Italy*

I will read about condom and lube as soon as possible.
I visit the POZ website very often. I like it a lot, it's full of interesting articles. Keep up the good work!


cheers  :)
--
Dave
Title: Re: Not only concerned for HIV!
Post by: Ann on August 15, 2007, 02:32:48 pm
You're welcome Dave, and remember, keep using condoms, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid not only hiv, but many other STIs as well. It really is that simple!

Ann
Title: Do I need to test for HIV?
Post by: Dave on April 21, 2008, 07:59:51 am
Hi all at Poz,

Sometimes I feel myself worried about an encounter i had in the past with a sex worker.
I don't even remember in which year I had this sexual encounter. Maybe 2000 or 2002.

Anyway I'm worring about a possible exposure to HIV.
I had a protected vaginal intercourse with her sitting on top of me (I'm a guy). After ejaculation she remains over me in the same body position and my phallus was yet in her vagina. Just for joke, she suddenly begin to move her hips in a fast way acting as she had another vaginal intercourse with me. In that same instant I was very worried about my condom and I thought her behavior could damage the condom or make it slip away from my phallus.

After stopping her, I looked at my condom and it seemed intact to me. Anyway my phallus was not fully erected and I was scared to touch the condom to check its integrity because of the vaginal fluids over it. *I'm a very apprehensive person by nature* After one minute or less she quickly take off my condom and trashed it.

After the encounter *and this is the most scaring part for me* she greeted me with: " Well. we will meet us in another world!*  This strange greeting contributes to  my apprehensiveness and despite many years as passed since then I'm very scared about this encounter. Do I have to test for HIV?

Thank you for your support, I'm living a very tough time and maybe I'm only depressed or at least I hope so.
--
Dave
Title: Re: Do I need to test for HIV?
Post by: Andy Velez on April 21, 2008, 08:05:35 am
Hi Dave,

From what you have described I don't see any cause for concern about HIV in relation to that incident. You wore a condom which is exactly what you're supposed to do. They provide very effective protection. Despite that rather cryptic remark the sex worker made which has troubled you, I don't read any evidence that you were at risk. Whether you are riding or she was on top, condoms do the job.

You're worrying needlessly and I don't see any need for testing. We do advise anyone who's sexually active to at least annually have a full STD panel. But that's just a precaution. I don't see any cause for further concern about HIV on your part in relation to what brought you here.

Cheers,
Title: Re: Do I need to test for HIV?
Post by: Ann on April 21, 2008, 08:49:01 am
Dave,

I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep all your additional thoughts or questions in one thread.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=220.0) so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.

I agree with Andy - you weren't at risk with the sex worker.

Ann
Title: Re: Do I need to test for HIV?
Post by: Dave on April 21, 2008, 11:45:40 am
Andy,
thank you very much for your reply. For what concern my worries I had it many times in the past but I was very reactive and I was able to control my discomfort taking these negative thoughts out of my mind and going on with my life.

I found out that an obsessive thought has more to do with the desire of control than it has with reality.

This kind of problem lead me to doubt of everything I did and everything I seen. As an example: for the same incident I thought the condom was broken but I didn't notice or even I didn't want to notice because I was scared.

It's a very dangerous approach to life because it makes me vulnerable and unsure.

On the other hand the girl's remark was very untouchy. Maybe it was not her fault because she came from a different country than mine and despite she seemed fluently with my native language she didn't know it perfectly. Who know?

Thank you again for your sincere understanding.

--
Davide
 
Title: Re: Do I need to test for HIV?
Post by: Dave on April 21, 2008, 11:53:46 am
Ann,
Thank you for your kindly reply. I'm sorry for the mistake. I wanted to insert my new post into the same old thread but I was unsure it was the way to go! Yes I know I had to read the Welcome Thread and I don't because I'm a lazy guy!  You can blame on me now, I deserve it :-)

Anyway, should I use this thread from now on ?

Dave
--
Cheers
Title: Re: Do I need to test for HIV?
Post by: Ann on April 21, 2008, 01:40:18 pm

Anyway, should I use this thread from now on ?


Um, yes Dave, that's what I asked you to do iin my above post. I also asked you to read the Welcome thread - I hope you did. You also need to read the Transmission Lesson - you'll find the link in the Welcome.

If you're having trouble with obsessive thoughts, you'll need to discuss that with your doctor or other qualified person. This forum isn't the appropriate place for you to work through those kinds of issues.

Ann
Title: Re: Do I need to test for HIV?
Post by: Dave on January 28, 2009, 01:40:50 pm
I recently did a blood test. The blood test was not related to HIV. Anyway I got mildly high transaminases values:

GOT: 37 U/L (10 - 35)
GPT: 70 U/L  (9 -43)
LDH: 784 U/L (150 - 450)

and slightly low thrombocytes:
99 (150 - 450).

At the hospital they told me to do a full hepatites check.
My personal doctor prescribed me other exams in addition to the ones of the hospital but not an HIV test. Do you think I have to do it? I thought I have a very serious liver damage without being aware of it and it could be due to an HIV infection. I'm scared to death with this and other desease as well and I'm struggling to put my mind at rest.

I haven't had recent sexual encounters and the past ones, even if promiscous were all protected, oral included.

Thanks in advance for you precious support and sorry for being so pathetic...




Title: Re: Do I need to test for HIV?
Post by: Ann on January 29, 2009, 06:15:17 am
Dave,

Hepatitis simply means inflammation of the liver. Hepatitis can be caused by many different things, but hiv is NOT one of them. Do as your doctor told you and get a full hepatitis check.

You have NOT had a risk for hiv infection. Whatever is going on has NOTHING to do with hiv.

Ann
Title: Re: Do I need to test for HIV?
Post by: Dave on February 14, 2009, 10:06:40 am
Thank you very much Ann for the reply. You are a very kind person  :)
I redo the blood test two other times and they are OK.

Anyway after an ECG they diagnosed me with a Wolff Parkinson White syndrome.
After that I did an eco-doppler test and they found out I have a light aortic insufficiency and a light insufficient mitralic valve. I'm worried about it has to do with some kind of infection in my blood.

Could itl be related to an HIV and/or a Syphilis infection? I read so on wikipedia and in other medical websites.

I'm very scared to be in a tertiary stage of syphilis and I'm worried nothing could be done to heal me now, maybe is too late. If I had made a full STD panel test I wouldn't have such worries. Me stupid guy...

Please, give me some advice on Syphilis too. I know that Syphilis isn't the topic of this forum but the links you provided me doesn't go beyond basic informations. It seems a very neglected topic on the web and in real life.
Title: Re: Do I need to test for HIV?
Post by: Ann on February 14, 2009, 10:51:03 am
Dave,

Syphilis shares a three month window period with hiv. Other than that, as this is an hiv specific forum, the only thing we can tell you is that if you're worried about syphilis, then you need to test.

You've already been given two very good links to STI websites - please RE-READ your entire thread! This is one of the reasons we are so adamant about keeping your posts in one thread - so we don't have to continually repeat things we've already told you.

As a sexually active adult, you should be testing for this and ALL the other STIs at least once a year. You've been told this already.

You can find references to hiv for just about any illness you can think of - because what hiv negative people can get, so can hiv positive people. The problems you list happen to people who are hiv negative too - it has nothing to do with hiv. The possible cause for these problems is something you need to talk over with your doctor. S/He's the expert.

Once again, you should be testing for ALL STIs at least once a year. We cannot diagnose you here - testing is the only way to go. You can fully expect your hiv test to return with negative results as NOTHING you have mentioned has been a risk for hiv.

Ann
Title: Re: Do I need to test for HIV?
Post by: Dave on February 14, 2009, 11:04:52 am
Thank you Ann!
I will do the STI's test. Anyway I'm scared about Syphilis more than HIV because I know it's very easy to transmit even if you are protected with a condom. I just wanted to be reassured that my slight heart insufficiencies weren't not related to a tertiary stage of syphilis. I have no symptoms at all.

I'm aware that you couldn't diagnose me through the web and that your answer was the best approach to my question, anyway I'm in a very anxious state and I need to break such obsessive thoughts.
Title: Re: Do I need to test for HIV?
Post by: Dave on February 14, 2009, 11:08:25 am
What scared me the most is the tertiary stage! If I was in the first or the second one I will accept it better because there is an effective cure and there are no damages in the body. Just my thoughts. Please forgive me I'm sorry :-(
Title: Re: Do I need to test for HIV?
Post by: Ann on February 14, 2009, 11:15:49 am
Dave,

Syphilis can be cured no matter what the stage. You cannot be treated unless you test, so go test. Chances are you don't have it anyway. As I said, you need to talk to your doctor about the possible causes for your problems - there are probably more likely ones than syphilis.

And by the way, if you were testing regularly like a responsible adult should, then you wouldn't be worrying about tertiary syphilis. I hope this is a lesson learned.

Please, no more posts about syphilis. This is something you need to talk to your doctor about and get tested for.

Ann
Title: Re: Do I need to test for HIV?
Post by: Dave on February 14, 2009, 11:29:13 am
Thank you Ann! You made my day! Really!
Lesson learnt! You are right! I'm a bit childish...not so good for a 43 years old man  :)
I will try to grow up. I'm an hypocondric type and this doesn't favor me because it freezes my own will to do the right things.
Title: Re: Do I need to test for HIV?
Post by: Dave on May 21, 2010, 12:02:36 pm
Hi all, since the beginning of April  I developed Peripheral Neuropaty symptoms. I'm worried about it because I think it could be relatated to HIV infections. I met my neurologist, and told her my symptoms. She visited me and was really skeptical about a real disease telling me I have nothing and that's because I'm anxious. I didn't tell her I was scared by HIV and I didn't mention any type of STD at all. Monday I checked for STD's (HIV, Syphilis, Hep A, B, C) and thusday I will go to collect my blood test results. I'm scared I'm HIV positive and the disease has beginning spreading in my body and damaging my peripheral nerve system. I'm really scared there is nothing to do to repair it because I waited to much time before doing an HIV test. I'm feeling very guilty. Please help!
Title: Re: Do I need to test for HIV?
Post by: Ann on May 21, 2010, 12:14:09 pm
Dave,

Did you bother to re-read your entire thread before posting? Because if you did, you would have read this:


You can find references to hiv for just about any illness you can think of - because what hiv negative people can get, so can hiv positive people. The problems you list happen to people who are hiv negative too - it has nothing to do with hiv. The possible cause for these problems is something you need to talk over with your doctor. S/He's the expert.


I don't have anything new to add to your latest self-induced drama.

NOTHING you've ever brought to us has been a risk for hiv infection. NOTHING! Why should anything you may or may not be experiencing be down to hiv?

I hope you're aware that stress can cause the type of sensations you're wringing your hands over this time. I suggest you seek out the services of a mental health care professional to deal with your hypochondria and resultant stress levels. We cannot help you with that here.

Ann
Title: Re: Do I need to test for HIV?
Post by: jkinatl2 on May 21, 2010, 12:22:17 pm
Good Lord, this is what reading stuff on the internet gets a person. Periphreal neuropathy is FAR MORE likely to be caused by the meds used to treat HIV than HIV itself. And it's usually the result of an extended time on certain meds at that. By extended, I mean years.

 I urge you, after you collect  your test results, to see a professional counselor about your issues.

Title: Re: Do I need to test for HIV?
Post by: Dave on May 21, 2010, 12:30:14 pm
Sorry Ann, I can barely manage my anxiety. I feel myself overstressed because the STDs test result day is coming closer and closer. I can't wait and I'm scared at the same time. I feel myself guilty for having procrastinated the test for so many years (almost 15). The number of my sexual encounters concerns me also. Probably all my worries are unjustified but the sense of guilt make me sick.
Title: Re: Do I need to test for HIV?
Post by: Dave on May 21, 2010, 12:40:54 pm
Hello jkinatl2, this week I made an appointment with my psychologist but unfortunately she will be  unaavailable until the first week of june. I have to manage the huge level of stress myself. I'm trying it very hard but I must overcome! Thanks for your reply.  :)
Title: Re: Do I need to test for HIV?
Post by: Dave on May 22, 2010, 11:00:59 am
Just another little question, please: as far as condom is concerned, I always used the one provided by the sex worker, letting her manage it. (putting it on my penis and removing it after the intercourse). Do you consider this choice safe?
Title: Re: Do I need to test for HIV?
Post by: Ann on May 22, 2010, 11:16:00 am
Dave,

Sex workers use condoms to protect themselves, not you, so you can bet it's safe.

If you have any doubts, buy your own and deal with putting it on and taking it off yourself. Make sure you read the condom and lube links in my signature line.

Ann
Title: Re: Do I need to test for HIV?
Post by: Andy Velez on May 22, 2010, 11:16:36 am
Yes, that sounds just like what you are supposed to do and I don't see any reason to doubt the effectiveness of the condom protecting you in that scenario.
Title: Re: Do I need to test for HIV?
Post by: Dave on May 23, 2010, 05:34:41 am
Thanks Ann and Andy for your quick replies. Just one more question and I promise you I will stop asking forever. Reading through the following webpage http://www.aidsmeds.com/articles/Neuropathy_6911.shtml I found that peripheral neuropathy could be caused by "chronic immune system inflammation" and that it occurs "in a significant percentage of older HIV-positive individuals".
My symptoms are the same as the ones described in the "What is it" webpage. Now I'm very concerned because I had sexual encounters with sex workers since 1995  and until 2003. Not continuosly anyway. I tried to recapitulate my whole sexual history and counted around 40 sexual encounters of wich 20 penetrative/vaginal intercourse with 35 different partners. All kind of intercourses (oral included) were performed with a condom, except mutual masturbation.

I'm sorry for bothering you again but I feel these symptoms since the month of april, went to see two doctors and did physio, but nothing has changed until now. No one was able to tell me which is the cause of my symptoms and now I begin to worry about it. This is one of the reasons I decided to make a test. Tuesday I will collect my results. Anyway I'm scared to death!
Title: Re: Do I need to test for HIV?
Post by: Dave on May 23, 2010, 07:19:22 am
Am I in later stage of HIV? Please help!
Title: Re: Do I need to test for HIV?
Post by: Ann on May 23, 2010, 08:25:16 am
Dave,

Get a grip. The only thing you're in the late stage of is hiv paranoia.

Are you aware that diabetes can also cause PN? And so can a host of other conditions.

I'm giving you a long-overdue time out. We simply cannot help you with your hypochondria here.

Do not attempt to create a new account to get around your time out because if you do, you will be permanently banned.

Ann
Title: Sensual Massage/Worried about Unnoticed Penetration
Post by: Dave on August 14, 2018, 08:30:35 am
I recently got a sensual massage from a professional masseuse. She initially massaged me (when I was in supine position) using her hands and lubricating my body with mildly warm almond oil. She then performed some body to body massage rubbing her breast and part of her upper body against me and my penis while she gave me mammary intercourse.

Also by the same "body sliding/rubbing motion" she suddenly went up very near my nipples with her breast, but while descending towards my abdomen I felt like a kind of traction to my erected penis. I had an uncomfortable feeling, like if my penis was stuck into something that was pulling it towards my testicles and perceived a little pressure over the tip of my penis along the uretra opening. Even if this event caused me some anxiety and I was into my mind questioning about it, I thought that maybe her breast or her belly (she's a curvy sexy woman) could have hooked and pulled my penis towards her hence the traction feeling.

Notice that at that time, during this body rubbing I wasn't able to see what really was happening because the masseuse's breast was at the height of my belly. That made me a little a worried and apprehensive, and I informed the masseuse that I felt some discomfort at my penis, so she interrupted the rubbing and she ironically replied that my penis was so hard that it didn't slide well  :).  I don't remember if she get back to mammary intercourse a couple of times or not, anyway she later ended the session with manual masturbation until I came onto my stomach.

It seems all was good, but during that same day I later had recurring thoughts that some unwanted contact between our intimate parts happened and that maybe some brief dipping or penetration (5-10 sec.) happened too. So now after a week has passed I continuously ask myself if I need to test for HIV.

I don't know if vaginal penetration can automatically happen just by genital rubbing without any help from the hands. It seems very unlikely to me. Am I overreacting to what was just an inconsequential event?

P.S. My last STIs panel was completely negative. Since then I never had any form of intercourse nor even oral. I just had 4 sensual massages by that same lady. I like her a lot and I was planning to get another massage by her, but I'm a little worried. Not very much for the practice of it, but just for my unfortunate aptitude of being apprehensive.

Thanks in advance for your precious support.
Title: Re: Sensual Massage/Worried about Unnoticed Penetration
Post by: Ptrk3 on August 14, 2018, 11:15:54 am
I think it highly unlikely (as you do) that any unnoticed penetration would occur that resulted in unprotected sex, causing you to have been exposed to the HIV during your activities.

You would have known if unprotected vaginal sex occurred.

You did not contract the HIV from this incident, as described.

Going forward, just test for STI's as you normally would.
Title: Re: Do I need to test for HIV?
Post by: Dave on August 14, 2018, 02:04:43 pm
Quote
I think it highly unlikely (as you do) that any unnoticed penetration would occur that resulted in unprotected sex, causing you to have been exposed to the HIV during your activities.
You would have known if unprotected vaginal sex occurred.

Given that my last intercourse with a woman happened more than 10 years ago I'm just having some doubts of how it feels, hence my aforementioned concerns.  :)

Quote
You did not contract the HIV from this incident, as described.
Going forward, just test for STI's as you normally would.

So I have to let go of my worries and move on with my life. Isn't it?
As for the other STIs, does body massage carries some risk in case both the giver and the receiver are naked? And which kind of STIs are transmitted this way? Does the same applies if the masseuse wears underwear?

Do I have to yearly test for HIV as well, even if I usually (since the last STI test performed) don't engage in penetrative or active oral sex?

As for my anxiety and fears. Do you think it's appropriate to have this kind of sensual/sexual activities soon or it's better to wait for some time until my anxiety subside? I know this is not a place for psychological assessment but I thought that maybe given the experience this forum has with many anxious people you could give me some suggestion. I'm very torn at the moment between my desires and my anxiety/fears and this uncertainty is ironically the source of additional anxiety. Just like a dog that chase its tail.

Thank you very much for your reply.
Title: Re: Do I need to test for HIV?
Post by: Dave on August 14, 2018, 02:10:07 pm
Just to clarify. In all massages including the last one, both I and the masseuse were totally naked.
Title: Re: Do I need to test for HIV?
Post by: Ptrk3 on August 14, 2018, 02:17:05 pm
The moderators of this form provide risk-assessments for HIV-contraction, based on the information provided.

Other STI's/STD's are far easier to contract than the HIV and there are many STI's/STD's out there.

However, from your post, it really does not sound like you were at risk for other STI's/STD's.

There's only one way to be sure, however, and that is to test for them.

If your anxiety is getting the best of you and you are unable to put this behind you, simply test for HIV-antibodies and other STI's/STD's and be done with it.

I fully expect that your test will be negative.

I presumed you were sexually active, hence the recommendation that you test as you normally would (per an annual schedule, for instance).

Obviously, if you are not sexually active or know with certainty that you are not at risk, then testing would not be necessary.