Tested Positive yesterday. My anxiety is driving me crazy, I can’t sleep or eat.

[sofeternal]

Hello

I just got tested positive and it has been the worst day in my life. So far I don’t have a lot of information but my mental health has been in shambles. I haven’t talked to a doctor yet as these were just lab results I decided to take after feeling somethings where off. I haven’t told anyone and I’m not planing to just yet but it feels so heavy in my mind.

I am scared and I don’t know what to do. I’m only 30 years old with no family of my own just yet. I don’t know where to start to deal with this and it’s paralyzing my mind. I’ve been trying to sleep all day and night but I can’t keep my mind shut

I’ve tried to look for online support groups and that’s how I stumbled into this forum


I’m devastated.

[Jim Allen]

Hiya,

Understand that an initial reactive result can be a shock, but try not to overthink things, and get an appointment arranged so you can have follow-up testing (confirmation testing) done.

I haven’t told anyone and I’m not planing to just yet but it feels so heavy in my mind.

Wait and don't tell people. At this stage, there is nothing yet to tell, you have not had follow-up testing, just a reactive antibody test and if you are indeed living with HIV you don't know any details yet.

If follow-up testing confirms that you are living with HIV then I would urge you to get your head around it first and think before you share: Why are you sharing, What do you hope to gain? Does this person need to know my private medical information? Also, once you have told someone they can do what they want with that information.

I’m only 30 years old with no family of my own just yet

You are young and have a whole life ahead of you and still plenty of time for a family, HIV isn't a barrier to this.

You will start treatment, a pill a day and then you move on with your life. Once the virus has been fully suppressed for six months you will be unable to pass on HIV sexually, see; https://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=71848.0

I don’t know where to start to deal with this and it’s paralyzing my mind. I’ve been trying to sleep all day and night but I can’t keep my mind shut

Give yourself time to digest the shock and try to focus on something else, get some sleep.

Keep us posted on how you get on with confirmation testing and the results, initial Viral load, CD4 count etc. Until then, I will ask you to post only in this thread but know that you are not alone and feel free to ask questions, rant, or cry, we are here, and we have all been through this.

[sofeternal]

At this stage, there is nothing yet to tell, you have not had follow-up testing, just a reactive antibody test and if you are indeed living with HIV you don't know any details yet

Can antibody give a positive 1 result and a confirmation test say something different?

[Jim Allen]

False reactive results do happen and the antibody test result isn't a diagnosis.

Follow-up with your healthcare provider for testing and keep in mind that if ultimately it is confirmed as HIV that you can live a long healthy life with treatment and HIV isn't a barrier to having a family of your own someday

[sofeternal]

Thank you Jim. I have been trying not to overthink this but failing miserably. It’s the only thing I have been thinking about for the past 48hrs. I really hope I get some sleep but my mind won’t let me. I sleep for 10 minutes then wake up the next hour with heavy breathing

This forum has really helped me get those 10 minutes of sleep by reading from older members how long they’ve been with the virus.

Since the test I’ve seen my best friend and mom, it’s unreal that I can’t talk about this to them but I don’t want them to worry. I can’t believe this has happened I wish I wake up and it’s all a dream

[Jim Allen]

Understand that it's a lot to digest right now.

There are two main potential outcomes

1) if you are living with HIV then you will start treatment and then move on with your life.

With treatment, HIV isn't a barrier to having a career, friends, family, sex or a healthy life and it's easy to manage, like so many manageable illnesses nowadays. You would most likely take 1 pill a day treatment or 2 pills and, within a few months the odds are you will not even think about HIV again.

2)
If your follow-up test comes back non-reactive/not detected, then you don't have HIV (unless you had a more recent exposure) and you move on with your life. Don't share needles, use condoms for any intercourse, consider PrEP as an additional layer of HIV prevention and get an HIV & STI screening yearly.

This forum has really helped me get those 10 minutes of sleep by reading from older members how long they’ve been with the virus.

I'm glad the forum has helped a bit. Try to eat something, calm down and get some more sleep.

It’s the only thing I have been thinking about for the past 48hrs.

Go to the gym, work out or for a swim or something.

[sofeternal]

Thank you Jim. Can HIV flu like symptoms start within 5 days from exposure?

I’ve also read somewhere in the forum that someone got tested positive on the rapid test but tested negative on the confirmation test. How often does this happen?

[leatherman]

Can HIV flu like symptoms start within 5 days from exposure?

symptoms mean nothing. some people have them; most don't.

Especially at this time when you're obviously so stressed out. At the point, any issue you are having could just as likely be stress-related.

someone got tested positive on the rapid test but tested negative on the confirmation test. How often does this happen?

this doesn't matter either. it's like the possibility of symptoms that I mentioned. Some people test poz on the rapid and then neg on the confirmation; and some don't. Whatever the percentage is (which I do know, but doesn't matter in this context), there's simply no way to know which percentage you fall into. And that's why it's not worth discussing.

I have a question that hasn't come up yet. You mentioned you tested positive; but I'd like to know what happened before that. What was the situation that caused you to get tested in the first place? HIV is transmitted by unprotected anal/vaginal sex or sharing injection needles. Were you involved in one or both of those kinds of situations?

[sofeternal]

I’m a straight male who has always had protected sex. This one time in May I gave head to a girl I suspect I had a broken lip. Whoever still had protected sex. I had a slight sore throat around that time, then I ate food which gave me food poisoning for like 2 days but responded well when I had some OTC meds. Ever since then something has just bugged me. I took a full blood picture early June and they saw that my lymph % was at 60. However the STI results came clean.

On Thursday I took 3 rapid tests and they all came in positive.

I must mention this year has been highly stressful for me since late January and I’ve had anxiety and panic attacks often till around June. I guess this restlessness also made me paranoid about taking the tests.

[Jim Allen]

This one time in May I gave head to a girl I suspect I had a broken lip.

No HIV risk from this.

On Thursday I took 3 rapid tests and they all came in positive.

 

haven’t talked to a doctor yet as these were just lab results

Hold on, so this is all about reactive results on rapid tests? So not laboratory testing.

[sofeternal]

No HIV risk from this.

I’ve been thinking about it a lot. I always wear a rubber.


Hold on, so this is all about reactive results on rapid tests? So not laboratory testing

Yes all the tests are from the rapid tests by the brand Abbott Bioline HIV-1/2 3.0

[Jim Allen]

Look if you used condoms correctly and consistently without exception and they didn't break (you would have known about it) and you otherwise only engaged in cunnilingus then you did not acquire HIV sexually, end of story.

As for the rapid tests, false reactive results happen and often engough on screening kits or rapid tests, due to cross antibodies reactions to other past or current infections, solution/buffer interactions etc, a reactive result simply means further testing is needed to exclude an HIV infection and nothing more. Doing the same rapid test three times means nothing.

See your healthcare provider ASAP to test and confirm your HIV-negative status. I wish you well but don't post about this again until you have seen a doctor and tested, thank you. You will still be able to read the forum.

However the STI results came clean.

No, because having an STI does not make someone dirty so these results are not clean. The result was either Reactive / non-reactive or Detected / not detected.

Here's what you need to know to reduce your HIV risks:
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse correctly and consistently, with no exceptions and get vaccinated against HPV, Hepatitis A & B if possible in your nation.

Keep in mind that some sexual practices described as safe in terms of acquiring HIV still pose a risk for other easier-acquired STIs. So please do get tested at least yearly for STIs, including but not limited to HIV, and more frequently if condomless intercourse occurs.

Also, note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms; testing is the only way to know.

Kind regards

Jim

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