Joining a gym, scared.

[RobbyR]

Hey everyone quick update, been busy with work lately, going to start cosmetology school soon..Thinking of joining a gym, something I never thought I'd do. Not overweight, just wanting to lift some. Thing is, I'm really self conscious. I am determined, but really shy about looking dumb in a gym. I drove to one the other day, but couldn't bring myself to go in. Kind of had a mini panic attack in the parking lot, saw a bunch of sexy guys going in, and I just felt I wouldn't fit in. Probably sounds dumb. I have mostly overcome my anxiety, I am holding down a job and following my cosmetology dream and my next goal is to get fitter. But just taking the first step of going in a gym kind of freaks me out. I'm afraid of people staring at me in there. Also having never been in a gym, I have no clue how to use the equipment. I assume they show you how to use them when you join? Lol. Anyway, I'm probably going to make myself go in and sign up this coming week. Really nervous but I have to take that step right.

[Ptrk3]

Good for you, RobbyR!  You've taken a lot of positive steps in the past few months to improve your life.  Congratulations and well done!

As for the gym, just take things in baby steps and you'll be fine.  The toughest part will be walking through the door for the first time.  Then, just get through the orientation of the machines and facilities.  After that, go a few times a week or take a class.  Pretty soon, you'll be one of the "regulars."

You'll do fine. Good luck and keep us posted on your new adventure.

[RobbyR]

Went in a local gym today took a tour by two of the manager/trainers or whatever they were. They were pretty nice. I liked that they had somewhat of a personal touch. Then of course they tried to get me to join, seemed a little steep, 99 dollars upfront membership feel, although they did offer to cut it to 49 dollars if I signed up. Got bills to pay though so couldn't just yet. It's about 35 bucks a month. Not sure how that compares. They have a sauna and pools and stuff. I am still pretty nervous a gym environment is completely not my comfort zone. Still thinking people will stare or make fun, but that's probably just me. I liked the overall feel of it and it's not as scary now, not sure how I'll feel when it comes time to wear workout clothes something I never ever do (don't even wear shorts or short sleeves because I hate my legs and arms so much).

At the end of the tour I felt a little like they were pressuring me to join, there was 3 of them standing over me, but they were still nice. I mean I get it, they don't give a shit about me, it's all about the money to them. But for me to start the fitness thing, I'll need someone to help me along a bit if even for a little, not sure if I can do it alone.

So at the end of the visit, I didn't want to sign up right then and there so I said I'd come back and do a fitness assessment with the trainer in 2 days. He's going to show me a few exercises I guess and maybe some equipment. So I guess depending on how that goes, I might join. Still looking at others too,but of the ones I've called, they seemed the nicest so far. I literally have no clue what I am doing never even been to a gym before today. I'm motivated, but scared.

[Ptrk3]

It's great that you are moving forward one step at a time.  That's that way to do it.

See how things go with the fitness assessment and your orientation to the equipment and compare with the other fitness centers you are considering.  There is no hurry for your decision, but you are doing great by moving forward.

It's also important for you to keep your motivation up, so perhaps do some things you can do on your own (an exercise routine such as pushups, sit-ups, and, maybe, some jogging), too.

In terms of needing someone to help you along, maybe the fitness center has some classes or group exercises that you can join until you feel comfortable to strike out on your own.

Good luck to you on your fitness journey!  You'll find your way.

[LukasAtlPZ]

Check out any locally owned gyms in your area. Stay away from the big-box corporate gyms like LA Fitness.

[RobbyR]

Thanks for the encouraging comments! Went to another gym today and looked around. Just still really nervous about it, because it's totally outside my comfort zone, but I am determined regardless. But all those buff hot guys in the gym and me walking in a skinny beanpole lol I felt stupid.

I'm not ready for classes yet, I need to figure the basics out for myself first and build my own confidence and work on my body image before I'd feel open about classes.But maybe eventually.

Kind of hate having to this all alone because I feel really awkward, but I guess everyone does right.

I really have no clue which one to join. They were nice at LA Fitness, but it had kind of a corporate feel, and was a tad overwhelming. I went to a small one today called Workout Anytime, it was really small and is 24 hours which I like. I probably just need stop overthinking and just pick one and join and be done with it.

Just real nervous about not knowing how to use the equipment and looking stupid and looking skinny compared to the buff guys.

[Ptrk3]

Sounds like the smaller one may be a better fit for you, at this stage.

Don't worry about the machines.  Most of those places have a required and free orientation, so someone on staff will show you how to use each machine properly.

Don't worry about being skinny:  no one was born buff, so you'll be fine.

Best wishes to you!

[RobbyR]

Thanks! I'm just so afraid.    That I'll look dumb and stand out, and then the being openly gay thing too. I mean I don't have pink hair but I sort of just stand out lol. I look like pee wee herman compared to all these dudes in there.

I think I'll probably go with the smaller one for now. And it's 24 hours. The guy there did say that when you join someone kind of shows you around and they do some kind of orientation with you. I've always sort of been made fun of for being the stereotypical skinny guy, etc etc, and I want to show these people up and prove that I can improve myself.

I've accomplished a lot which I'm proud of, I'm holding down a job, learning how to live independently, and keeping my life on track. The next big hurdle is to get fit. I am really overwhelmed but determined. I am a chainsmoking skinny guy with zero gym experience. I have pretty low body image and self esteem still. I still struggle with depression it is an EVERY day struggle. I'm doing better with medication allowing me to function, but I'm working through a lot.

I guess I'll just dive into the gym thing and try it and hope I don't regret it.

[Ptrk3]

Sounds like a plan.  Take things slowly: easy does it.

Once you get into an healthful exercise routine, you may find that your depression may lighten, in combination with remaining adherent to your antidepressant medication.

When you are in the exercise groove, you can face your next challenge on the journey to better health and fitness:  weaning yourself away from cigarette smoking!

But, first things first.  Join the gym and make visits there a routine part of your life:
the journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.  Go for it!

[LukasAtlPZ]

Exercise will help with the self-esteem issues. Also, request your doc to test for Vitamen D, you might need to take a supplement.

I prefer locally owned gyms to the corporate giants. The business model is completely different. Local gyms are more customer focused. The corporate giants are more interested in the $$$. 

[RobbyR]

Yea, they were nice at LA Fitness when I toured. Poured that personal touch on pretty thick. At first I really liked that, it felt like they legit cared about wanting me to join. But then I thought about it and it kinda felt like they were just pressuring me to join. The rep texted me today constantly telling me that I should join before the 1st because prices go up then. I wanted to explore some more options first so I didn't join LA yet. I went to another one that is smaller and has 24 hour workout but just kind of overwhelmed which one to pick. I am clueless about gyms and have body image and self esteem issues. I like the idea of going with a locally owned gym. My think is I really want a gym where they show you things and give that personal touch and seem to care. I guess I'll know it when I see it. Im motivated but I'm really self conscious to be in a gym environment.I really wish I had a buddy to go with me, it seems like I always do everything alone. I was looking on Grindr for someone to workout with but haven't found anyone yet.

[CaveyUK]

Robby - sounds like you should join a gym where you can pay for a personal trainer. You'll get the personal touch, and won't feel daunted as you will have someone with you ensuring you get the workout you need.

I've just switched gyms to one about to open. It's a 24hr gym which suits my lifestyle. Frankly, I am not after the personal touch...in fact, I tend to get annoyed by it and would rather get on with stuff myself, which is another reason the 24hr aspect is nice. I will go for some form of induction though, so I know how to use the various machines.

[RobbyR]

The small gym here is 24 hour and with membership you get a free evaluation with a trainer and from there they then put you with the trainer they think suits your goals best if you want to pursue it. I think once I build up some confidence I'll prefer it on my own, but right now I feel I need encouragement and accountability or I'll bail. I'm just really self conscious. I've bought myself workout clothes for the gym, so I'm pretty much ready, but still haven't signed up. I definitely see myself going in less busy times, which is why I feel I need the 24 hour gym. I wont go at 2am, but maybe 10 or 11 if I feel like it. Could get a good 45 minute workout in at least. The small gym doesn't have a pool, but it does have a tanning bed, which is a plus. I am going to try and get up the courage and go sign up tomorrow if I can get away from work.

They did say that when you join that they will show you how to use the machines. I'm just kinda scared to go in there and be working out around those big buff guys. But I know I need to for myself, so fuck it. I don't care what they think.

[RobbyR]

Just wish I had someone to come with me but since I can't find anyone, guessI'll have to get a personal trainer. What if the trainer doesn't like me though.

[Ptrk3]

Don't worry about your personal trainer liking you.  He or she will, since they will be working for you and will be paid by you.  I had one for a while and it worked out nicely.

I think a personal trainer will be good for you and will help you overcome social anxiety at the gym.

[CaveyUK]

The small gym here is 24 hour and with membership you get a free evaluation with a trainer and from there they then put you with the trainer they think suits your goals best if you want to pursue it. I think once I build up some confidence I'll prefer it on my own, but right now I feel I need encouragement and accountability or I'll bail. I'm just really self conscious. I've bought myself workout clothes for the gym, so I'm pretty much ready, but still haven't signed up. I definitely see myself going in less busy times, which is why I feel I need the 24 hour gym. I wont go at 2am, but maybe 10 or 11 if I feel like it. Could get a good 45 minute workout in at least. The small gym doesn't have a pool, but it does have a tanning bed, which is a plus. I am going to try and get up the courage and go sign up tomorrow if I can get away from work.

They did say that when you join that they will show you how to use the machines. I'm just kinda scared to go in there and be working out around those big buff guys. But I know I need to for myself, so fuck it. I don't care what they think.

Thats why I have joined a 24hr gym. I will likely work out at around 10pm most nights, as I figure there will still be people about but will be less busy. My old gym had swimming pool, steam rooms, sauna etc but restrictive hours which meant the only times I could go it was rammed with people and I hated it.

[bocker3]

Robby,

The anticipation seems to be making everything worse in your mind right now.  You are projecting reactions on other people which also intensifies your anxiety here.  None of this is going to get better or easier until you join a gym and go.  Then you will most likely see that most of your worries have been for nothing. 
You aren't only going to see "buff guys" at the gym, you'll see skinny guys, chubby guys, middle of the road guys -- oh yeah, and likely some women too!

Stop second guessing and just move forward.  A trainer is someone you pay to work with you -- they aren't your BFF, so why worry if the "like" you??  Anyway -- your worries are causing you to hesitate, so try and just walk through them -- as a wise man once said to me when I used to focus on what others thought of me:  "What other people think of you is none of your business!"  Just do what you think is good for you and things will work out!

Hugs,
Mike

[harleymc]

Hi Robby,
Just concentrate on your needs, and communicate those well to the instructor(s).

You might want and combination of increased muscle mass, greater flexibility improved stamina, better core (abdominal) strength or general toning. Let them know if you have issues around back problems, flexibility, the times you can get to the gym or what ever.

If it's a halfway decent gym you will get a program that is tailored exactly to your needs.

Check what the contract is like about cancelling, in case you decide another gym fits your (changing) needs better.

I'm someone who doesn't bulk up easily and found group training an issue because of pre-existing injuries, but got great advice and an individual program that suits me well.

HUGS

[MitchMiller]

From a guy that's worked out in gyms for almost 40 years and has belonged to at least a dozen different gyms... nobody is going to be looking at you... UNLESS you're a buxom young lady (given it sounds like you're not joining a gym in N. Hollywood). 

You'll be royally disappointed at just how "invisible" you are.  And you'll be amazed at how good you feel after you work out.  It's addictive.

Just promise to bypass the cancer coffins

[RobbyR]

Yea I overthink and psych myself out. I think once I get started I'll be good. But just taking that step is so big for me. I called a personal trainer and he said I can meet with him and a colleague next week and talk about options. I feel at least initially a trainer for one or two sessions would be the way to go so I can get acclamated to gyms and some of the equipment.

Hopefully it will work out. I still think 24 hour gym is the way to go because I could go anytime and when it wasn't busy which is big for me now until I feel more confident.

[RobbyR]

Well I just can't seem to get past this fear of gyms. I told myself I'd join this week but I drove up to one today and sat in the parking lot for 30minutes scared to go in. I just feel like people see me this lanky guy and they just stare and wonder what I'm doing there. I see all these muscular guys in there coming in and out and I feel completely scared. I don't even know how the fuck to use any of the machines. I still feel like I'm too skinny to be taken seriously in one. I about had a panic attack in the car.

I did chat with a nice guy on Grindr who seemed cool and wanted me to workout with him, but he wanted to meet at 630 am so I'd have had to leave at 530am to meet him there on time and I have to commute to work and have about a 30 minute commute, but I told him I'm willing to meet him any other time that could work for him. But now he probably thinks I blew him off, so yea, I always manage to fuck everything up. He probably won't talk to me again.

All I know is this, I want to workout and get fitter, but I hate doing something like this alone, I feel like if I am alone I'll bail without any moral support. I don't like doing something like this alone.

I've gone to a couple gyms and checked them out but I always feel so intimidated and scared in them. I'm tall and skinny and look ridiculous.
The guy at the counter at one I went to today looked at me like I was from another planet when I was asking him about memberships he just seem to not want to answer my questions. So yea, I dunno, maybe fitness isn't for me maybe I should just stick to cigarettes and watching tv haha.


 

[CaveyUK]

Robby. Not all gyms are full of bodybuilders and the like.

I think, whilst acknowledging your fear, the only way to get over this is to find a gym which is not some sort of gym-bunny paradise, talk to the staff and when you find one that doesn't come across like a asshole, then book in for an induction.

That will generally be a tour, and you will be shown how to use machines. In many cases they will ask you what you want to get out of it and will suggest machines and approaches that will work. It's then up to you if you dive in yourself using those suggestions or ask for further personal training.

I've recently joined a 24hr gym and love it so far. I've been popping along quite late at night and usually theres only a few people there, and all of them are completely engrossed in what they are doing. Tonight there was a couple of guys who were obviously mates and were training and tracking each other. Just regular guys. I'm a fairly chubby guy and stood next to them doing some pathetic bicep curls with dumbbells and could see that in the mirror they were not looking - I was practically invisible to them. Aside from a fat cleaning woman pushing a vacuum cleaner around, there was one other guy - a really slight, skinny guy who I saw once or twice as I ambled around the gym and nodded hello to. I didn't pay any attention to what he was doing or how, as I'm sure he wasn't with me.

I still don't know how to use half the stuff in there by the way, but I just about know how to use some of the cardio machines (they are pretty straightforward), how to do bicep curls and all of the resistance machines have instructions printed on them too.

I know you are nervous but I just think you need to try and block that out and dive in.

And finally, I'm not a single gay man so perhaps I'm speaking out of turn, but I suspect getting advice on gym's from Grindr or other hook-up sites is likely to lead you to the sort of gyms I would strongly avoid to start with. What you want is the sort of gym that chubby middle-aged housewives go to, or the sort where people who have been told to lose weight or build muscle by the doctors get referred to. Standard community-based gyms, not ones with huge guys in wifebeaters or tanned, toned gym-bunnies eyeing each other up.

In the UK, we have municipal leisure centres which often have gym's attached. I haven't belonged to one for years but if they have a similar thing near you that may be a good way to start (although, I must add, that the local leisure centre was the only gym where a guy tried to hook up with me in the sauna, so maybe my reading of the Grindr crowd is slightly out, lol).

Edit: No offense intended to anyone based on my liberal use of stereotypes in this post, by the way

[RobbyR]

Thanks for the encouragement Cavey. It's stupid on my part, just trying to mentally overcome this fear of the gym environment. I'm just not sure how to dive in, I'm not sure I can do this. I'm scared.

I have some gym clothes that don't show any skin, but they make me look skinny as hell, which of course makes me feel more shy and embarrassed.

I have a hoodie that I'll wear too for extra concealment.

I hope once I get in there and they show me things, I can then try personal training for at least a session or two. It can be pretty expensive though. So we'll see.

Damn this anxiety. My biggest fear is going in there and being laughed at for looking stupid or not knowing what I'm doing. But I guess that's what Xanax is for right? Haha.

I really do want to get fit and do this, just making that step is so scary.

[RobbyR]

I just don't understand why I always have to do everything alone. This is so important to me. How come nobody is ever there when I need support. My so called friends just want to sit around and drink all the time. I have no one to work out with me. I can do it alone, but it would be much easier with a someone else.

[pittman]

Gyms have people in great shape, and those wanting to be, and those in between.

Outside of a high school, I have never had a bad experience with others. The buff guys were just as friendly and helpful as those that were not. They were respectful of anyone trying to improve their health, and when asked, they often were more than willing to share tips, etc.

If muscle gain or toning is your goal, read up on that before go in. Or get a personal trainer for awhile. If doing free weights it's important to first focus on learning the right form and don't try to do too much weight, or you may hurt yourself. 

If you see a nice guy seeming guy (or woman) doing an excercize you want to try, you might ask if they mind if you "work in with them". You typically rest briefly between a set of repetitions and alternating with someone is pretty normal. You can then just say you are just starting out and trying. to learn the right way to do the excercize and chances are they will offer you advice and help.

And by the way, the "skinny" guys are also frequently just as much a catch in the eyes of some of those buff guys.  I was always the lean side, and it was mostly those bigger ones that would end up hitting on me.

[Wade]

Robbie, Have you ever thought just of getting some dumb bells and maybe a curling bar and working out at home ? Doing some push ups and sit ups are great for building muscle too.  Gyms aren't for everyone.
I have never stepped foot in a gym and was in great shape when i was younger.
Still do use the dumb bells at home...

[terrymoore]

I was about to say the same thing as Wade. I have no problem with going to a gym per se, however, sometimes it is busy, and the equipment is not exactly what i want, and and and..
I decided to invest a few hundred $ and now have my own little gym. All i needed (and i think all you really need) is a squat rack, a barbell, a bench and weights. You can start doing squats, bench presses, standing rows, standing shoulder presses, deadlifts and even pull ups/dips if the rack has that option.
And, as Wade mentioned, you do not really need ANY equipment to work out at home. For YEARS i did stretches, pushups and sit-ups and walked around like a stud! Even today, especially while travelling for work, i stretch (yoga based) - it can be for as short as 5 minutes, but i usually try for 20min.
Start doing pushups and situps, get stronger, get confident and then going to teh gym may not be such a hard decision.

[RobbyR]

I don't have any of that stuff. It's a great suggestion, but with something like fitness, I just feel like I need some guidance at least initially. I literally have no clue what I'm doing. I mean, yea, a gym is intimidating, but it's for people who want to get fit right? Not people who already look perfect.

I'm not as scared about it as I was, after touring a few more. I've tentatively decided to try a personal trainer for a few sessions. I met with this one guy who contracts out of a local gym, and met with him today and he seemed like a take-charge, pretty cool guy. He offered me 10 hour long sessions for 250.00, which to me seems like a reasonable rate compared to some other quotes I've gotten. And then I'd have the option to renew once my 10 were up if he and I click.

Just from the initial meeting, he seemed pretty cool, took me into a room and asked about my fitness goals etc etc he said given that I'm tall and slender, he thinks if I was around 190lbs I'd look lean and fit and can achieve that. He talked about supplements with caffeine (I presume to boost energy and workout efficiency), and he said that he would give a meal plan along with specific products as far as powders I could get online to help. And I had to check off some boxes stating that I had no major health issues which I don't. He said I could come back in a couple days and meet up with him to sign with him. He also wants me to meet one of his trainers who works for him, who he said emphasizes muscle building more. Price wise, it's more in my budget than the other quotes I've gotten, so IF I go the personal trainer route, I may go with him, and at that point, if I like it, I'll either continue with him or join a gym and start going myself. What do you guys think? Should I go for the personal trainer?

[RobbyR]

One slight addition my meeting with the trainer..he told me to check out his Instagram, which I did, he had lots of clients of his on there showing their progress, but I also noticed some kind of lame not-so veiled homophobic quotes, which kind of raised my eyebrows a bit. He seemed like a nice guy to me, so no issue there, but his Instagram had some pretty blatant homophobic frat-guy like humor. Should I ignore this, and chalk it up to immaturity, or maybe he's a homophobe and do I want someone like that training me if he is. Food for thought I guess.

[Ptrk3]

Yes, I think you should engage the personal trainer, to give you the initial confidence and support you need.  Twenty-five dollars is a very reasonable rate.

Ignore his Instagram.  Just keep your relationship focused on your goals of achieving better physical fitness and you will do fine.

Good luck and keep us posted on your progress.

[RobbyR]

Went to the gym for the first time ever today. Was supposed to go with a guy who had offered to workout for me, but he claimed to have gone to the wrong gym so I was on my own. Went early in the morning, didn't know what to do or where to start so did a few leg lifts and presses. Could only manage about 50-75lbs comfortably and that was pushing it. I got tired out really quick, but I'm out of shape so to be expected until I get more conditioning I'm sure. At one point, I got really woozy and nauseous and had to go to the bathroom and put my head down, felt like I was going to pass out. But it was so early that I hadn't had anything to eat or drink first which was my mistake, so I'm sure that was just first-time thing. Next time I'll make sure I eat first and drink plenty of water during and after. I'm proud of myself for going and working out a bit. That was a big step for me.

I'm looking forward to going back and doing more. Going to meet with a personal trainer this weekend too so will be nice to have professional guidance!

Can anyone recommend a good gain/bulking powder/drink? I have some Whey powder that I mix with milk but it doesn't seem effective. How about BCA's? Guess my trainer is the one who'll be able to tell me.

[CaveyUK]

Well done Robby!

It will get easier too. Gyms tend to take it out of you for the first couple of visits. For me, I tend to find I get the sore muscles two days later for some reason. But it's not like an 'illness' sore muscle, its quite good because you know it's working

As for supplements (including shakes etc), be a little careful and check ingredients to ensure there is nothing contained which could interact with your meds. I buy some (fairly expensive) Protein shakes from the supermarket which I keep in the fridge and drink when I'm home after a workout. I've checked the ingredients and there is nothing particularly worrisome in it, but I imagine one or two of the more 'complex' shakes could have stuff that may preclude them being taken within so many hours of your HIV meds so it's worth double checking.

I'm so stoked for you though. Really I am! Going to the gym was a big deal but it will get easier and easier and you will reap the benefits I'm sure.

Just remember not to overtrain in the beginning. If your muscles are sore then don't re-work them until they feel normal again.

[terrymoore]

Hi,
Going to the gym is great and a good start to getting fit and getting that overall good feeling.
The big mistake many people make is that they push themselves too hard at the beginning and then come out sore and then start skipping gym days and making excuses - it is a slippery slope right back to the couch, TV and bag of chips. The key is to a. have a plan and b. stick to the plan - sounds simple right? 

I have been doing sports all my life - swimming, running, martial arts and recently weights. I did my own thing (no program) and used to come out very sore - it affected my next workouts or my other sports. I pushed through it and never gave it much thought - sore muscles and injuries was just part of "being a man" right? Pffff....
A friend of mine suggested i try a program and it really changed things for me. It is a basic program, for people with 0 experience, and focuses on 5 main compound/functional/core exercises - the basics. The program is great for me because it is very focused, it does not take a lot of time (less than 1 hour, 3x/week), and i see very quick results. An example is my squat - i started with no weight (just a 45lbs bar) and now squat 220lbs and still moving up! I never imagined i could do this much weight. I plan on breaking 300KG an i know i will soon.
The results i looked for are - loss of fat (i do not want to be BIG, in fact i use this program to get slim/lean), more strength (stronger bones as well), and prevention of injuries (from martial arts sparring). Different people have different goals - know your goals. Weight gain/loss depends on caloric intake vs. caloric expenditure - it is quite simple. Whatever your goald are, i recommend starting with this program as a base and then work off of this. I am sure if you speak to any trainer or anyone else who understands about fitness/weight training, they will agree that this program is a great place to start. it has been around in one form or another for well over half a century. It is called the Stronglifts program and you can look it up and learn all you need here www.stronglifts.com. There are other similar programs (Madcow, Starting Strength etc. - i happen to like Stronglifts.) I know i sound like a sales-man - sorry about that. Believe me, I do NOT work for these guys nor benefit in any way. Just trying to give you practical advice that has helped me. In fact, even if you do not choose THIS program, you should choose ANY program - just have a plan! The next time you walk into that gym, you will walk in with a purpose, know what you want to do, go straight to the barbell (or whatever) and do your workout. Keep track, set a plan of how you will increase weight (or reps or sets) and get closer to your overall goals.  You don`t believe me? Read this http://www.mensfitness.com/training/build-muscle/10-strength-building-strategies. You see! Even the experts sort of say the same thing (and i found this arrticle after i wrote this hahaha!). Find a program, stick to it and you will progress, see results, you will get gratification, you will feel better about yourself. No excuses! 

You mentioned being very tired and not eating/drinking before your workout. Well, i do not know all the science, but in general i can say with certainty - NOT GOOD! You MUST drink A LOT of water before and during your workout and you should have SOME food in the system - even if it is a fruit - something! You need energy. And you must be hydrated. Simple. Would you drive your car across America with an empty tank of gas and no water in the radiator? Enough said about that.

Supplements, protein shakes etc - imHo (and this is my opinion - not science) - it is a waste of money for you. People drink these as substitutes/short-cuts for eating right and doing the proper exercise. The fact is, if you do your workout consistently, and you eat properly, you will never need these protein supplements. Most of these are very high in sugar anyway - read the ingredients - and very expensive (= expensive pee and expensive poop!). Besides, see what CaveyUK wrote - there may be bad interactions with the HIV meds. The people that i know who really NEED these protein shakes are serious athletes who train hard and need the extra protein (and whatever else is in there) to recover from their intense training regiments. I am talking about MMA athletes, Rugby players and Tri-athletes who train twice a day, 5x/week and are getting ready for competition. You want protein? Eat 2/3 eggs after your workout, tuna, beans. You want a shake? Buy a blender (one-time investment) and some berries, bananas, soy-milk/almond milk coco powder (non sweetened) coconut water some raw eggs spinach, chia seeds,  - whatever - and blend it up! There! a protein shake!
Also, don`t waste your money on tons of new clothing and equipment. People tend to go out and buy all sorts of crap to "get serious". Let me tell you, all the equipment you need is a pair of running shoes (although you can lift barefoot and sometimes it is better for higher weights), t-shirt, shorts/sweatpants. Thats it. No need for gloves, sweat bands, rubber bands, wrist bands, rash guards, yoga mats (unless you will stretch at home, only then are you allowed! ). Save your money for that blender and gym membership!

Since you are a beginner, let me re-emphasize what i started with and what CaveyUK wrote:

Just remember not to overtrain in the beginning. If your muscles are sore then don't re-work them until they feel normal again.

.

If you have any specific questions, i will be glad to answer you. Feel free to PM me.

Good luck and GO TRAIN!

[CaveyUK]

Supplements, protein shakes etc - imHo (and this is my opinion - not science) - it is a waste of money for you. People drink these as substitutes/short-cuts for eating right and doing the proper exercise. The fact is, if you do your workout consistently, and you eat properly, you will never need these protein supplements. Most of these are very high in sugar anyway - read the ingredients - and very expensive (= expensive pee and expensive poop!).

I think peoples mileage may vary on this. The reason I use a protein shake (no sugar variety) is that personally I have found my muscle recovery time significantly improved and I get far less sore following a workout if I drink it. I don't consider protein drinks to be in the same category as many other supplements although as I say, a lot of the more 'complex' ones will have other stuff in, which is why you should double check stuff.

[RobbyR]

Well, so I'm making steps of progress. The other day, I actually got up at 530 and got to the gym to workout before work. I was supposed to meet a buddy there that I'd been chatting with to workout, but he was at the gym across town lol..miscommunication. When I realized that, I got scared being on my own, but I got a grip, and managed to do a few leg exercises on my own. Wasn't a big deal. Still don't really know what I'm doing, but I'm sure I'll learn. I basically just did some leg presses and leg lifts. I managed a few 100-140lb lifts, but got tired really quick, so had to go down to 50 and 30 lbs and even that got tiring, but I'm not discouraged, I'm just out of shape. I did make the mistake of not eating or drinking anything before, and I got lightheaded and nauseous, and had to go to the bathroom for a bit, but I recovered and did a few more before it was time to go. Next time, I'll definitely have some gatorade or water before.

I was proud of myself for sticking it out. Going again tomorrow morning and meeting my guy there, this time we'll be at the actual same gym lol. It's been 2 days and I'm still really sore in the legs from the leg work, so going to try some chest and arm work tomorrow. I'll probably have to start off pretty light and work up to more. Still out of shape, so pacing myself. But I'm really lean and thin so hopefully I will be able to build some muscle. I've been eating better, lots of grilled/baked chicken, greens, water, and making myself some shakes with peanut butter, whey protein, and almond milk.

I also met with a trainer this weekend for a consult, he said he wants to work with me, he said some thin guys can gain muscle while others seem to cannot. Hopefully I will be able to improve somewhat. Basically I just want to get toned up and definition. My whole life I only can put belly weight on, with hardly any muscle. Hopefully these changes and the gym will help.

Yea I'm not going to waste money on a lot of equipment and stuff because I just joined a gym so I'll be able to get fit there hopefully. And hopefully diet will help along with the consistent working out.

I'm a little worried that I tire too quickly when doing weights, but again I'm just out of shape so hopefully over time that will improve with my tolerance. And going from someone who handled stress by smoking, binge eating, and unhealthy things, to working out instead, can only be good right.

This weekend I joined a gym, so that was a big step, next step hopefully will be a personal trainer, but haven't taken that step yet. Just taking it day by day. The goal now is for me to workout for about 1 hour or 1.5 hours 3 days a week and see how that goes.

[CaveyUK]

Don't overtrain your muscles Robby. It's tempting to go straight to weights that are a massive struggle but starting at the lower weights and moving up is a smarter move.

I think I started with many of the machines at 50lb, before quickly graduating to 70lb. I tried a few slightly heavier ones on my last visit and felt I was ploughing along a little too fast so carried on with the weight I am comfortable with for the time being. .

I have a consultation with a PT in a couple of weeks so can ask about correct weights then too.

[RobbyR]

Yea for sure, I'm going to stick to light weights for now until I get conditioned more, and also don't want to over do it. Next time I do leg day too, I won't try for the higher weights but will stick to the ones I can do more reps with comfortably. Then my body will tell me when I'm ready for higher weights. That's how I am, I do gradually and my body thanks me. Also trying the high weights now wouldn't let me do many reps which won't be very efficient.

If me and my bud do chest/arms tomorrow, I'll follow his lead as far as which machines he does, but I'll definitely have to take it easy still.

[terrymoore]

Hi RobbyR,
Less reps and more weights is MUCH more efficient than lower weights and high reps.
Usually, during high reps, your muscle fatigues, and it affects your form which 1. affects efficiency and 2. can lead to injury. It will most probably lead you to be sore the next day too.
On the other hand, doing 1-5 sets of  5 reps of high weight will allow you to gain strength without compromising your form. You also wont feel as drained and sore the next day.
This is from experience. It is also something you can easily research on the www. FYI.
Keep it up!

[RobbyR]

Hit up the gym this morning with a bud, did some chest and arms. It kind of shocked me how weak I am in the arms and chest. I thought I was somewhat stout, but I struggled with even 50lb bicep curls. I would manage 4-5, and then have to stop for a bit. Guess you just have to push through it. I'm hoping over time it'll get easier. My arms and chest are my weak spots by far. My bud did some bench pressing, I tried it, but I couldn't even move the weight he was lifting. I managed to barely move the lightest weights, but I couldn't raise them once I had it to my chest. I then tried just the bar, and I struggled with it too. My left arm is a bit weaker, and I could lower it to my chest, but I just couldn't raise it from there and my bud had to help me rack it. I felt pretty discouraged, but it was my first ever bench press attempt, so maybe again over time it'll get easier. Guess I just need to keep conditioning with bicep curls and stuff and get used to more weight gradually.

It was kind of an ego hit that I couldn't even bench press the bar with no weights though. But it kind of lit a fire under me to keep trying.

[terrymoore]

I know it`s hard, but try not to compare yourself to others - everyone has a different build everyone has different injuries, everyone has a different base.
I suggest you start with very low weight (even NO weight) and work on proper form.
For me, i squat and deadlift pretty good numbers, however, i keep failing on my benchpress and shoulder press. I am a pretty big guy, built well, and a friend of mine who is much smaller and looks weaker than me, can bench way more. I have weak/injured shoulders - that`s a fact. SO, i dropped weight, worked on better form, and slowly but surely increase weight to increase strength (and avoid injury).
Take it slow and don`t get discouraged RobbyR!

[CaveyUK]

Yeah, don't be worried about using low weights to start with. I see plenty of guys at my gym who look pretty 'fit' but are clearly starting out with the weights and doing the same.

My slight issue is that I'm now not getting the muscle soreness like I was in the first week or so, even when I feel I'm pushing myself a bit too far during the workout. And yet, I have one night of moderately-energetic sex and every muscle aches a couple of days later and I'm walking around like an old man. Go figure...

[paintedroom]

Yes,forget about heavy anything.Think stimulation of muscle rather than overload and brute force.Think peak contraction -all that means is when say for example you are doing a bicep curl,flex the muscle hard when at full contraction.Don`t do every set to failure..two will do.you will feel nice and sore after that - that`s a sign of growth.Remember the tear down is microscopic and so is the rebuild.Think of it like shaving when you were younger -shave and it comes back thicker.Don`t expect to see change for at least a couple of months.Don`t give up.You will feel like nothing is happening after a month and a half and wonder what sort of freak you are...and then hey presto..change.The body takes a while for change to manifest.Eat ! Have 5 or 6 small meals per day.Really all that means is your typical 3 meals and a supplement twice PD.Allow for your specific metabolism and somatotype(body type).

Most of all,enjoy the workouts themselves.I always feel great afterwards..noodle soused in feel good chemistry,cleansed of all worries etc.i get a good half day of semi elation from it.

Stay strong,P.

[RobbyR]

Well, met up with my bud this morning at the gym for leg day. Did some squats, lunges (very hard!) and presses and lifts. I squatted just 40 pounds but i'm a beginner, and that was plenty heavy for me! The lunges were really really hard! Barely got through those. Then we moved on to the curls, and I got the dreaded feeling of fatigue and nausea creeping over me. I didn't have much to eat before, just a banana and some Gatorade, but I had to dash for the restroom and puked. Yea, not pretty. Felt really stupid. But as soon as I did, I felt fine. I didn't pass out, but I barely made it to the bathroom before I puked. I feel like a pussy in a way because of it, but it's only my 3rd day of gym workouts. The other day, my first gym day, I didn't eat anything before, and this time, ate a banana and gatorade before, so maybe it just hadn't had time to digest? Maybe I'm not pacing myself enough? I feel like I need more time between exercises to recover. I'll probably have to start going on my own, because while I like having a buddy, he moves through the exercises too fast, and I feel like it's pushing me too hard. If I just have more time to recover between exercises, I think it'll be better.

Plus, I feel like if I try evening workout instead of morning, that might be better too, because I'd have had more food and stuff in me as opposed to first thing in the morning. Just don't want any more nausea episodes. But I'm not discouraged.

On another note, I stopped by GNC and got some Creatine, Mass Gaining, and BCAA's, so will experiment a bit with those too.

[terrymoore]

Hi RobbyR,
It is good that you are still pushing through this initial hurdle and sticking to your decision of going to the gym. Getting off your butt and to the gym is half the battle!
Now, like i mentioned before, if you are about to embark on a road trip across the USA, i am sure you would make sure your car would have a full tank of gas and water in teh radiator, right? Well, do you link 1 banana is enough? I mean, it is better than NOTHING (that`s what you said you ate  last time), but it is still VERY LITTLE! You do not need a huge 3 course meal. Try a bowl of cereal with that banana. Or how about a hard boiled egg? PB and J? I think you get the point - you need energy before you go to the gym. And, try drinking WATER. Gatoraid is a hoax! Sure, if you are playing in the heat and losing salines and dehydrating it is fine. However, the state that you describe, going to the gym, drink WATER. Gatoraid has TONS of sugar - TONS! I am sure you are feeling a "sugar crash".
One more thing - you seem to be falling into what i call the "lifestyle" trap that marketeers have created and leverage so well. Buying products that are related to fitness - Gatroaid, Creatine, Mass Gaining etc  - these are all good when you are doing EVERYTHING ELSE and have hit a plateau and are looking to make MORE improvements. Your focus should be on actually doing the squats, lunges, lifts etc consistently and in proper form. Of course, it is so much easier to buy all this junk rather than actually doing what needs to be done - all your sets, properly and consistently - that is what marketeers love - the perfect consumer!. I suggest you try doing your exercise program for at least 2 solid months BEFORE YOU BUY ANYTHING E ELSE! Get fit! Wake up, eat your BF, go to gym, do your first set, rest 1-3min, do you next set, rest again, etc. Drink water between sets. Drink lots. Finish your workout, go on with your day. All those fancy supplements, drinks etc - not necessary and not the main point! The main point - what will get you in shape and healthy - is the actual exercise! Think Rocky! Save your money, do your workout from A-Z, eat well, hydrate, sleep well. Soon you will see results. That`s it!

[CaveyUK]

Talking of buying stuff needlessly. I bought some weightlifting glove things the other day from Amazon. Looked completely ridiculous and pretentious in them given the low weights I deal with, but on the other hand, I won't run the risk of getting any callouses on my pretty 'office hands'

[terrymoore]

Cavey - noooooooo! hahaha
Use them for bike riding. Strengthen your grip and toughen up your hands by lifting WITHOUT gloves. No gloves = tighter squeeze = stronger grip = more calories burned. Callouses are sexy!

[RobbyR]

So I've been going to the gym still, the last few mornings with that guy who I work out with. He and I are at different fitness levels and body types. He seems like a cool dude, but I think sometimes he gets frustrated that I am still such a beginner and that I can't benchpress or anything still. But oh well, I am where I am. I'm trying, and that's what counts right? I think for my own sake and so I won't fall into my trap of comparing myself to others, that I may start working out on my own a bit now, because I still need time to develop my upper body and tone up and work on my techniques, and then perhaps I might feel comfortable to have a workout buddy. But as of now, I feel pretty stupid and embarrassed all these guys are benchpressing heavy weights and I can't even do 5 presses of 40lbs. Guess I'll just have to keep at it. I do notice my muscles are a tiny bit more defined, but it's just been a week.

[bocker3]

Congratulations on making it here -- I know it's been a struggle.  Keep at it.

I do want to point out that you seem to be projecting other's reactions to you, at least that is how it appears.  So you are going to start doing this alone because of how you "think" others are thinking?  But you've posted in the past that you hate doing "everything by yourself", that you want to be included with others.  This seems to be you removing yourself from that.

Just some food for thought.  Remember, generally, people who workout regularly love to see others get into the habit also -- so I bet that you are simply seeing things that just aren't there.

Keep at it -- and going to the gym with someone is the best way to build the habit into something longterm.  1 week, is not yet a habit!!

Good luck,
Mike

[RobbyR]

Thanks,I'm sticking with it, I'm struggling with the weights and chest exercises, that's my weakest point, but I'm going 3 days a week. I did like 10 presses of just the bar today, but then my left shoulder in my upper bicep just feels like it catches and I can't push any more. I'm trying to also do some isolated exercises with that arm until I build it up. No pain at all, just weakness in it. I have a bud that is going with me, which really really helps me be accountable and less likely to skip out knowing another person is going to be there. He's ahead of me in weights and fitness, but I'm trying. I'm very tall and lean, not sure if I'll be able to put much bulk/muscle on, I've tried pretty much everything. Guess just sticking it out is the key. I'm proud of myself that I at least managed 10 presses of just the bar today. Couldn't even do that last time.

Tried some then with the smallest weights, but only could manage 1-2 presses with those and barely. My left arm is just weaker than my right. I can do bicep curls all day long, but pushing out is what gives me trouble. Hoping over time with more repetition this improves. On a side note, I really love the sauna at the gym it hits the spot big time.

Yea, I do project other people's reactions. Trying to not do that. I am proud of myself for going to the gym not long ago I never in a million years thought I'd even go at all. I just hope I can build up more strength so I can do more reps and actually see some results.

On another note, you'll probably laugh, but it seems like all the guys on Grindr who chat me up and ask to see more pics, if I show them, like 90% of them then go silent or stop talking to me. I know I know I shouldn't pay that any mind, but it does hurt, and makes me wonder what's so repulsive about me I mean I'm sorry I'm not hulk hogan. I try to at least respond to everyone who says hello to me even if I'm not interested, but when you send pics to someone and never hear from them again, it seems like that happens constantly. Ah well, maybe the gym will help me. It's helping me come out of my shell more.

I feel kind of dumb when I have trouble with some of the basic light weights, but we all have to build up from somewhere right. It's not even that I'm fatigued at all, it's just that I can seem to push out on the weights with my arms if I'm doing presses or something. Maybe I just need to do more conditioning.

[bocker3]

Robby,

Good for you for keeping this up.  Keep going and focus on what you CAN do instead of what you can't (at this time) do.  You want this to be a positive experience (pardon the pun) and if you focus on what you can't do, it won't be positive. 
Right now -- just going is HUGE!!  Go, do what you can (and maybe just a tiny bit more) and you will see progress.  It may be slow, but that is the better kind anyway.  Right now it's more about turning this into a habit for you, so that you keep doing it long term.

Mike

[terrymoore]

Ronny,
Keep it up. The hardest part is going. There are always a zillion excuses just waiting to pop up for why not to go - ignore those and GO.
Second and probably just as important - please focus on PROPER FORM. The last thing you want is an injury which will be the only real excuse for not going. I personally did a heavy lift a few days ago and must have been off on my form and now cant train for a few days. It is a real bummer!
Good luck!

[MitchMiller]

You're not alone:

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/oct/28/facing-my-fear-gym-membership-humiliation-health-workouts

[RobbyR]

Thanks, managed a few workout sessions. Had an illness and death in the family of a close relative the last few weeks have been rough the exercise has had to take a back burner. Hoping to get back into it soon but this has been hard. Some may like exercise but I don't it's a real bitch. I'd much rather sip some bourbon have a cigarette and listen to some tom waits or louis armstrong or good jazz. Trying to stay motivated but it's hard. Just see all these muscular guys there and they're lifting like it's nothing and are huge and I'm skinny as hell and can't gain weight no matter how hard I try.Genetics.

[CaveyUK]

I've employed a personal trainer, just for a few sessions to set me a programme and make sure I am doing things correctly (form etc).

First session involved me doing more mat work than I am used to and I was very self aware as I was struggling to do more than a few press ups or sit ups before collapsing in a heap (am fine with the weight machines).

Went down on my own yesterday and tried the mat exercises on my own, with similar results. You never see many people using the mats when I go down there, as most are lifting mostly. Anyway, when I finished I got changed and on the way out noticed one of the weigh-lifting guys on the mats trying the same things (and struggling a bit), which I guess must have been influenced by him seeing me doing it!

Someone at work told me a good thing - in a gym, no-one will judge negatively about someone trying to get fitter or workout, regardless of how big/small they are or how much they are struggling, because they will get kudos for being there in the first place, as many people simply don't bother. It's worth remembering that.

[terrymoore]

remember - there re plenty of exercises you can do at home. lunges, squats, planks, sit ups, burpees, jumping jacks, pushups, stretches, etc etc.

[RobbyR]

One step forward, two steps back. I went for like two weeks religiously, 3 mornings a week, would spend about an hour there, one day legs, one day arms, chest, etc. It was really hard for me, but I kept doing it. I had a buddy going with me which helps. I began to get into a sort of routine. Then had a death in the family and had to stop and now kind of out of the routine. I had begun to feel physically stronger and better, even though it was still really hard. But now I feel discouraged again. I don't have any structure and the gym I joined claimed I'd get a free session with a trainer but they have not contacted me about this at all. And now my workout bud is mad at me and won't  return my calls because he thinks I hung up on him at work when he called, which I didn't my new phone just fucked up. Sorry kind of a rant..Just weirds me out when these guys online offer to be my workout bud and then i meet them in person and they conveniently stop talking to me then. Guess they think because they're muscular that they're too good to be seen with someone just starting out.

Some of it's genetics though all the guys in my family are tall and skinny I use bulking mass gainers, protein shakes, etc, no gains. Guess I'll just have to make myself do the gym more..it's just hard doing it alone.

[terrymoore]

Try this:
Get out of bed, go pee, and then...
1. do 3 sets of pushups (if you can only do 3 sets of 1 - good, start there! Just make sure to do 3 sets of whatever you can). Take a 1 min break between each set.
2. Then do 3 sets of situps (5, 10, whatever you can do 2 sets of). 1 min break between each set.
3. 3 sets of 5 burpees - 30 second rest between each set
4.  3 sets of 10 squats - 30 second rest.

This should take less than 15 minutes. Only after you do those, you can brush your teeth!
Do that for 7 days in a row. After the 7 days, increase all your reps by 1. DO that another 7 days. Keep repeating. When you get to 3 sets of 20 pushups, go to the gym. Depending on your starting point, this will take you between 2 weeks to around a month. I guarantee if you stick to that plan and can do the 3 sets of 20 pushups, you will walk into the gym confident, with a great base, and will start with decent weights.
Remember;
1. GOOD FORM!
2. Do it even on days that you don`t want to. You are NOT ALLOWED TO BRUSH YOUR TEETH UNTIL YOU DO THE ROUTINE! :-)
Start tomorrow. BOOM!

[CaveyUK]

One step forward, two steps back. I went for like two weeks religiously, 3 mornings a week, would spend about an hour there, one day legs, one day arms, chest, etc. It was really hard for me, but I kept doing it. I had a buddy going with me which helps. I began to get into a sort of routine. Then had a death in the family and had to stop and now kind of out of the routine. I had begun to feel physically stronger and better, even though it was still really hard. But now I feel discouraged again. I don't have any structure and the gym I joined claimed I'd get a free session with a trainer but they have not contacted me about this at all. And now my workout bud is mad at me and won't  return my calls because he thinks I hung up on him at work when he called, which I didn't my new phone just fucked up. Sorry kind of a rant..Just weirds me out when these guys online offer to be my workout bud and then i meet them in person and they conveniently stop talking to me then. Guess they think because they're muscular that they're too good to be seen with someone just starting out.

Some of it's genetics though all the guys in my family are tall and skinny I use bulking mass gainers, protein shakes, etc, no gains. Guess I'll just have to make myself do the gym more..it's just hard doing it alone.

It's super-easy to get into the routine, and just as easy to get out of it. I'm in the same boat as had a holiday which interupted my gym-going, but am trying to schedule it back in and it feels a struggle (but won't be, once I start going regularly again).

As for the PT....organisations and people are notoriously shit at remembering to follow things up. Chase them. Ask what's up with the free PT session, and can you book it now. Don't rely on them doing it for you.

As for the gym buddy...sorry, but he sounds like a prick.

Whilst it's good having someone to go with, it does sound rather like you are looking for a hook-up rather than a gym-buddy, or at least are looking for them in the wrong places. Why not just go down a few times, and if you see someone in a similar place to yourself, ask them if it's worth pairing up whilst there to motivate each other. Or ask at the gym to keep an eye out for someone who may need an equal amount of motivation. At your stage, you don't want some muscle-bound gym-buddy...you want someone similar to yourself.

As for the suggestion for working out at home by Terry, it's a good one if you can manage it - but speaking personally, I find it hard to really keep regimented about it, which is where the gym does help as once there you are tend to do a workout. I get way to distracted with 'life' when at home

[terrymoore]

CaveyUK - "let him who is without sin cast the first stone"...:-)
I agree with you - getting to the gym almost certainly guarantees the training.
It seems to me that Robbie is a bit insecure, and, is easily swayed from not going to the gym. Many many reasons (excuses?).
Doing the work at home requires a certain discipline - i agree. So does brushing teeth! I was horrible at that as a kid (my wife will say i am still horrible about that!):-)
And, yes, there will be days he will miss, and skip etc  - we are all "sinners" :-).
I think at least if he tries this, it will give him a base and confidence. 10-15min a day between the AM pee and the tooth brush!

[Rubencito13]

Hi
how is going the gym? =)

[MitchMiller]

Gym = habit = lifestyle

I had a bad cold for a week so I skipped six days, but then got right back into it.  The body says NO, but after one session, I'm right back into the habit... just been doing it for soooo many years.  It gets to the point where it feels strange not to go.  Now that I'm retired, I have a lot more energy because I'm never sleep deprived... as I was virtually all the time when working.

The fastest results in the gym are achieved by doing supersets that completely fatigue the muscle.  Since you're thin, you should see your form change within six months if you go religiously.

Try downloading new music that you only allow yourself to hear in the gym... sort of a reward for going. 

[RobbyR]

Nah I'm really not looking for a hookup buddy, just a guy to go to the gym with me and encourage me and help me stay accountable. I did seem to have that with him, and he had a boyfriend and I knew that from the beginning, so it wasn't sexual at all, it was actually a cool platonic friendship, something i've never had with a guy. I'm still hoping he hasn't lost interest in me as a workout buddy, because even in the short time I went with him, I had started to notice small results with my body.

He and I were going for about an hour in the morning about 3-4 days a week. Then my aunt died and I had to stop going for a few days, and then just sort of fell out of the routine, and he had to travel away on business. He asked me to go last weekend with him to workout, but I couldn't because I was out of town dealing with the arrangements. Now he's on business and out of town.

I guess I could always go on my own, looks like I may have to. I haven't been for about 3 weeks now. Falling back in my old bad habit of smoking.

He called me last week to ask how I was doing but I was at work and mistakenly hung up on him, and he's probably mad at me for that. At any rate, despite my repeated texts asking if he wanted to start working out again, I haven't heard back. Guess he's either lost interest or mad at me.

Ah well..I really should get myself back in there I guess. Maybe Monday morning I'll set my alarm and try and just go myself.

I've asked around for workout buddies online, even using the dating apps for strictly platonic workout buddies, and found a couple guys who said they were interested, but when I sent them shirtless pics of me, one stop talking to me and the other one told me that I am below his fitness level and he didn't think he could workout with me. So yea. Can't seem to find anyone.

[LongTimeSurvivor]

Usually only post in the Long-Term Survivors section but this post caught my eye.

Had posted something different but then got to the rest of the postings. Realized I was a bit late with advice.

Only you can hold yourself accountable. Go back, get to work and as time passes you will realize you don't need a partner to keep you accountable. Plus, if you do decide to try for a workout buddy again, after training on your own, you'll have something more to "sell" yourself as being serious about the training.

But if for no other reason (like looking really good in that swimsuit next summer) doing this will help keep you healthy.

Hope you get back to your gym schedule soon.

[CaveyUK]

I've asked around for workout buddies online, even using the dating apps for strictly platonic workout buddies, and found a couple guys who said they were interested, but when I sent them shirtless pics of me, one stop talking to me and the other one told me that I am below his fitness level and he didn't think he could workout with me. So yea. Can't seem to find anyone.

Thats what I mean though. I dunno, maybe it's different with gay dating sites but I think the reaction of the guy who stopped talking once seeing you shirtless tends to imply that the hook-up element is higher in the mix than you may think.

Reading your latest post, I think it may just be a case of waiting for you and your existing gym-buddies schedules to line-up, and in the meantime just carry on solo