POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => Living With HIV => Topic started by: Moffie65 on June 19, 2006, 06:16:33 pm
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So, there are many of you who are familiar with me and my current challenges. One of the things that has kept me from you guys is the fact that I hate sharing the bad times with anyone, outside of my immediate physical life. To tell you the truth, I am a very private person most of the time, not ever letting anyone know that I might not be doing all that good on the inside. I share historical things here, and also things about my work in HIV, but in the end, I really have never told you very much about my very personal struggles with this disease.
The weather here in Arizona is fantastic, with the days rising to the 98 to 107 range, with a humidity factor of 9%. How do I know this, well I am so glad you asked. One of my worst days, which started at 12:30 am, and lasted the rest of the night on the toilet, barfing to beat all hell. I had to continuously drink water, to keep something in my stomach to throw up. I will not tolerate dry heaves, I just am not strong enough for that strain on the body. Been there, done that!!! (Thank you Crixivan. :( ) Well, my sweetie was gone about ten hours to work, and came home with this huge smile on his face and handed me a new electronic weather station. Just the thing I needed to pick up the day and give me a handle on the natural forces of the earth. I am a fan of the weather, ever since we used to sail on the San Francisco bay, one of the most challenging bodies of water to sail on the globe.
I still don't know if there is any change in either direction, with my viral load, and I am hoping that this Trizivir will work. I think I can get my body used to the nausea, and if not, I'll try something else. I am also having the muscle and joint pain that I experienced the first time around with AZT, but then the dosage was far greater, and I am hoping that my body will also be able to tolerate this smaller amount of pain. I am never again going to tell someone, newly diagnosed that the medicines are not a ROYAL pain in the ass, 'cause they are Blanche, they are!!!
I see Dan is making the very painful decision to stop his medication, and I applaud his bravery and his outright boldness, to accept, and act on the feelings of his heart. That is one very special person that can do that, give us a peek into the process, and still be generous enough to share with us here on AIDSmeds.com. Please check in on his thread, because you are witnessing one of the most difficult and hellacious decisions that any one of us might be called on to make at some point or another. I have had many friends have to make the same decision, and it is never, never, easy, or without a huge amount of internal pain. Please keep him in your thoughts; that really makes a difference to him.
Today was not too special, and started again at about 2:30am, but I was able to get a few minutes of sleep between then and 4:00am, when we rise for our morning coffee, and visiting time. My sweetie leaves the house at about 5:30am. I did have to go to town, (6 miles) to pay the car insurance, and just as I decided to go to a store just to take some time to cruise the "stuff" a horrible pain came on in the stomach and I had to hurry home to have my fifth bout of diarreah for the morning. Gee such a fun time. I haven't been able to eat the same as usual, and while I want to loose a few pounds; I would not want to do it because I have no appetite, or just can't keep it down. Decisions, Decisions! Isn't HIV just a laugh-riot. NOT
Well, like I said, I don't particularly like doing this, but it had to be done, as there are some here who do give a damn, and I thank them for that.
In Love.
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But Jebus, loves you... And so do I... Fucking Lutherns! ;D I guarantee you my feet can kick your feets stink any day... Come on!
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I can empathize. I started tmc 114,truvada,and norvir two weeks ago. everything was ok till last thursday when I got really,really tired. Then I woke up at 2am sat night with the dry heaves. Finally after three hours of dry heaves I was able to puke something up. Refried beans. Disgusting,but sure was good on the way down. Anyways I was sicker than shit all day sat and sunday and am just in a good ole haze today. I know its the fucking gilead drugs,they always make me sicker than shit.
What kind of poison do they have you on these days?
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Gee Moffie
I wish there was something i could do to make all this go away and make ya feel better. Hope it makes ya feel a
little better knowing that there are so many of us that DO care!
Love ya
BIG HUGS
Teresa
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Yes Tim...I DO give a damn. I hope your feeling better real soon! (http://www.aidsmeds.com/Fusetalk/i/expressions/heart.gif)
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From one old fart to another, I care and I surely hope that the sides from Trizivir subside quickly.
Everyone reacts differently, but my ex started as HAART naive on Trizivir. The first week was no picnic, but not as bad as you sound. The second week things moderated significantly. A month after he started, and ever since for nearly 4 years now, he only occasionally has mild fatigue, nausea, cramps and diarrhea. Most importantly, his CD4 remains constantly in the 700-800 range and his VL has been undetectable all this time. No signs of lypo or anemia (fingers crossed).
Hopefully you'll experience a short trip thru this misery as well and see the desired results.
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Have you discovered the wonders of oatmeal and the joys of brown rice? Along with the help of some Immodium, my honey eats oatmeal for breakfast and has popcorn for a midnight snack. He doesnt like brown rice but will eat white rice. I hear rice is a binder....so hey...I would eat it.
he occasionally has the runs but not bad anymore. Diet really does have a lot to do with it.
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Hello Tim,
Thanks for sharing.Just want you to know my thoughts are with you. I remember that one month of Trizivir, and the problems associated with it.And I thought I was a tough guy! The aches, and while I was never leaning over the toilet, I was certainly close a few times. Heres to better days ...
I can't imagine a humidy factor of 9%. If you spit, does it evaporate before it hits the gound ? The humidity, is what gets to me here. Love that AC.
Take Care of yourself Tim...
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Tim,
I feel for you. I hope you get better. Luckily, with my Epzicom / Reyataz combo, I haven't had to experience that but before I started on my meds I used to regergitate a good meal for some strange reason.
Get better.
Eldon
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Hi Big Daddy,
I can relate...although my feet don't stink. The diarrhea, I totally got...I hate leaving the house before noon. The norvir I've been taking for a month now is killing my bowel movements and it stinks, literally. :D
I understand, I care about you and I love you.
I gotta run now 'cause the norvir is kicking in...I'll think of you. ;)
Feel better love, and thanks for sharing. You're not alone.
Neither are you Dan....remember that.
Love,
Trish :-*
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Thanks guys,
Eric; Yes I know about Jebus, I think he cavorted around the Eastern Mediterranean with 12 boyfriends. The title of the thread is compliments of Jimmy Buffet.
Jack; the only good thing about this is that I now know I have a friend in Texas who is suffering the very same thing so now we can barf together. ;)
Teresa; Thanks for the hugs, they are more valuable than anything else.
Nadine; Thanks for giving a damn, and thanks for the well wishes.
Tim; I know you understand this shit, and thanks for the encouragement.
Bear; Thanks for the suggestions, and I do the oatmeal, loads of cheese, yogurt for digestion, and several other things to assist in these times, I just have to start all over again. I do my oatmeal with two eggs stirred in at the last minute, and when they thicken, then I eat with Half and Half. Gotta have the protein.
Ray; I do hope the meds quit kicking my ass, and I am going to take the idea or assumption that the Trizivir will become tolerable. Come on over for a while, you certainly will dry out here.
Eldon; Thanks and I won't be taking any of your drugs, because I have a highly resistant virus, and it wouldn't do much good.
Trish; Thanks Trish. I cannot tolerate Norvir by itself for the same reasons. I became deathly ill on that stuff, and my virus ate it up like cheesecake.
Well guys, the day wasn't too bad, but the nausea is just about to drive me koo-koo. I will check in again tomorrow.
In Love.
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Hey Tim,
You know I give a damn! Wish there was something I could say to make sense of it all but there isn't. I guess it just goes with the territory. But know you got alot of thoughts and prayers out here for you. We are doing fine, the usual struggles here but have incorporated alot of what you have shared with us already. Stay in touch buddy.
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Well, Moffie,
My back is on the fritz, I have been off work for a week, am on Prednisone, Flexiril and Vicodin AND an antaicid.
The worst part is MY BACK STILL HURTS!
I can proudly state that my feet do not stink, though...PRAISE JEEBUS!
Jeff
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Tim,
Ugh I'm sorry your having to deal with this... It really gets to me that we all hae to deal with this crap. I hope you are feeling better soon and will be back to normal... You're in my thoughts...
-D
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Tim,
I also give a damn and it pains me to think you are having to deal with this. If there were something I could do, I would.
In the meantime, here's a great big (((((HUG))))) to let you know I'm thinking of you. I will try to send you some very positive energy, especially on the solstice, since it fast approaches.
The days here are warm too, 95 to 98 degrees during the day, low 60s to upper 50s at night. Our humidity level has been a bit higher - 13 to 15 percent.
I'll be thinking of you.
Mark
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Also thinking and wishing you all the best from the damp coolness of the UK, I am unable to offer advice as I am not on meds so consequently do not know the pit falls of them, but I can offer you my blessings and hope you can ride through you personal storm.
With love and Respect
John(UK)
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Dear Tim,
Thinking about you and hoping you are going to feel better real soon!
Sending you love and healing energy. :-*
Hugs, Eirin
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Holy mother of god/dess........No wonder you are bowing before the porcelain dias ....!
I'm never gonna be able to look at my oatmeal the same way again. I had hot , wet, stomach content threaten even my throat when I read that shit about tossing a couple of eggs into your oatmeal at the last minute.
Bless your heart, but I coulda gone all day without that picture in my head. :-X
I'm sorry you are having such a bitch if a time Timmy. I hope your body accepts the new meds soon with minimal problems.
Remember to keep yourself as hydrated as you can!! It is important now, because of all of the fluids that are exiting your person.
I'd send you a big kiss, but it will have to wait until you don't have puke breath. ;)
Feel better soon sweetums.
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Hi Moffie, hope you get better reeeeaaaaallllly soon + you need to be fit and running for Montreal, sending healing stuff your way :)
hug,
mark
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Daddy Tim,
I'm sorry you aren't feeling well. I'll be thinking of you and hope you feel better soon.
Hugs,
Phil
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I hope You feel better soon. In the mean time, pop a quaalude, wash Your feet, and explore Eastern philosophy.
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Well guys, thanks for all the wishes. As usual, when I get to feeling really shitty, I have to do something to keep my hands occupied, and my mind busy so that I don't think about the misery that is going on right now. So, this morning, I tore apart my Mobility Scooter, and am recovering the seat, cleaning all the mechanisms, and doing some customizing to the lower part which is truly boring. I would love to decorate it to look like a Harley with the chrome pipes and all that stuff, but oh well, maybe when there is more money than brains........... For the time being, I am having fun re-upholstering the seat with some really fine fabric I found in the cupboard.
Jim; Thanks for the well wishes, and I just want you to know there is no "Sense" to the daily grind of HIV.
Jeff; Hey, does Prednisone mix well with pot???'???'
Danny; Thanks for the good thoughts, and be sure to stay dry down there in San Antone'
Mark; Yes, it is time to crank up the coolers isn't it? Thanks for the well wishes, they really help. Hope your work is going well there in New Mexico.
John; Please, you can keep the cool damp, as my 59 year old body doesn't do to well with it anymore. Thanks anyway for the thoughts and just remember, most all of us will have to go through what I am going through right now, so pay attention, it might help you in the future.
Eirin; Thanks for the healing, and it means a lot right now. I sure do wish I could crash your party in September. Do you think they would require me to remove my wooden shoes to board the plane now? Tee Hee.
Lisa; My dear, you simply pour about a quarter cup of half and half into two eggs, beat the hell out of them so that they are smooth, then mix in like you do a custard. It is quite delicious, if you also add plumped raisins, or apricots, and some brown sugar to sweeten. Oats never tasted so good than when they are served as a nice hot sweet pudding. HMMMMM good!
Mark; As stated above, I am "Fluffing" my Scooter, so that it will be in top shape for Montreal. I sold some stuff, so today later, I am going to trudge into town to pick up the new batteries for the thing. They are a tidy $110.00 each, and I have two of them. At least now it will run when I need it, and go about 20 miles on a full charge. Thanks for the good wishes.
Phil; From one "Teddy" to another, thanks so much for your kindness.
Jon; Truly you are dating yourself, I haven't thought of Quaaludes since the seventies. ;) The rest sounds really good too. I am going to soak the whole body at some point today, and for the philosophy.............. I do that all the time. Tee Hee.
Really, I will survive this, but the passage is NASTY!!!
I am trying to stay busy, and keep up with the inside chores, and it is working sorta, ...... ...... ...... well, not so much. ;(
I Love you Guys, and thank you all so very much for the encouragement.
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Hey Tim,
Changing meds is always a bitch, no matter what they say. I'm in the process of chaining my psych meds and it's making me absolutely crazy and tearing up my stomach as well. I HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE ALL MEDS. There, I feel better, hoping you will too. BTW have you tried Compazine? You can take it 3 times daily and Stephen has had some luck with taking one about an hour before his meds. It doesn't always stop the nausea, but at least he's not tossing his meds after he takes them.
I'll keep you in my thoughts and maybe you could check into some nitro boosters for that scooter. Somehow the thought of you doing a "wheelie" down Rue Ste. Catherine would just be a hoot.
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I love you Tim Honey, It scares me when you start acting human! You are a super hero in my book so start acting like one!
Seriously, I hope you're feeling better today
Hugs
Jena
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Hi Tim,
I am sorry you are having such horrible stomach problems. I can empathize, I walked around this past year with my "vomit bucket". Doesn't get much more fun than that...holding the bucket while sitting on the toilette...good times..
Make sure you drink plenty of fluids. I became dehydrated at one point (did not realize I had stopped drinking fluids) and was hospitalized. Headaches, muscle aches, stiffness, lack of thirst can be signs of dehydration.
Have you spoke with your doctor? Have you tried any nausea meds? I have tried many of them, and the one that worked the best for me was Aloxi. It is an iv drug that is used mainly with chemo patients. Ginger ale, and sourdough hard pretzels help a bit also.
Good thoughts going out to that this passes soon. Hang in there, and take care of yourself.
Christine
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Well guys, the day wasn't too bad, but the nausea is just about to drive me koo-koo.
Try pressing your thumb firmly on your inner forearm's tendon, 2 inches down from the wrist crease. You'd be pressing down on "Pericardium 6", an accupressure point that has good anti-nausea success rates. Press firmly. It works for me. Like a charm. If you find it works, and your thumb is tired doing all the pressing, buy an acu band or sea band and the little plastic ball will press P6 for you (it's a wristband). should cost about $5-8 and it comes 2 per box
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Dearest Tim...
You have my heart, and my love, as well. Always.
<<<<HUGS>>>
Zeph
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Dear Tim,
no advice for you, just a big hug,
Love you,
Coen
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speaking of qualudes, how about a one pill combo, qualude+viagra? I could have really used that about 30 years ago.
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Dear Tim,
Sending love, hugs and lots of positive energy your way....
I'm struggling with my own demons right now, have battled AIDS-related anorexia on and off for over 15 years, and right now, it's ON.
Stay strong.....Montreal is just around the corner !
Hugs,
Alan
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Dearest Tim,
I LOVE YOU!!! FEEL BETTER SOON :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
Seems like many of us are struggling lately. Thank you for being the wonderful person you are.
Dan
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Thanks Guys,
Joe; I don't know how to make nitro work on 24 volts. Maybe I could rig up a gonzo capacitor and see what would happen, but I wouldn't want to fry the motor. I do have the wheelie bars, so that is right, but I just don't know how to develop the power to do a "proper" wheelie.
Jena; I am no hero, just one more poor slob, trying to make the best of a really shitty situation. Thanks for the good wishes.
Allopath; I am trying the preasure, and thanks for the suggestion. I have done this in planes before, but forgot about the exercise. Thanks for the heads up.
Zeph; Thanks sweetie. I will be calling you this week
Coen; I sure wish I could "transport" over to Europe and meet you guys there, you are all so very generous with your love and concern. Thanks so much.
Alan; Thanks for the love and well wishes. I am hanging in there for Montreal, as I want hugs from all.
Dan; My brother in struggle. The fact that you wrote here, is all I needed. Thank you so very much.
Finally, I am just winging it here. My sweetie is so very supportive, and stays quiet about anything HIV, yet when I talk about you guys, and what you all mean to me, he perks up and starts to ask how many of you are. He has committed to memory a lot of your names and faces and he is so very grateful that "We" all have each other to share the good times and the bad. For so many years he was doing it all alone, and like so many caregivers, was always very drained and lacking in any real interest in the HIV itself. I have seen how helpless it makes a loving partner, who want to help, but are powerless to do so.
Thanks one and all.
In Love.
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Tim, I have no advice, only sympathy and a tiny bit of empathy.
Here's to better days.
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Tim,
Eww, Smelly Athlete's Foot. Get yourself some medicated antifungal cream.
Then:
* Keep your feet dry!
* After bathing, dry carefully between all toes.
* Use an absorbent foot powder such as Zeasorb or an antifungal powder such as Zeasorb AF.
* Wear "breathable" shoes or sandals when weather permits.
* If your feet sweat easily avoid boots, plastic shoes, tennis shoes.
* Wear absorbent, cotton socks.
* Change socks at least once a day more often if they get wet.
* Clothing (socks) and towels should be changed frequently and laundered with hot water. Do not share towels or clothing.
* Regular cleaning of your shower floor with disinfectant or bleach/water mix is advisable.
Terry (Who isn't much help theses days.)
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Jonathan; Thanks so very much, and loads of "kisses on your openings".. :)
Terry; I don't have any problem with my feet, but you must have heard this song sung at one of the Jimmy Buffet concerts, and if not, it is now available on CD. We just don't have a copy. He usually only sings it in Concert. No Terry, my feet are fine, but thanks for the hilarious post. ;D
In Love and appreciation for friends that "KNOW"