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Author Topic: Another Diagnosis...  (Read 4785 times)

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Offline Leeumcee

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Another Diagnosis...
« on: January 12, 2017, 01:58:45 pm »
Hello,

I just had the finger prick test an hour ago and it came out positive... Since my last test last March, I've been with various partners as I was travelling about the world and ended up in some stupid situations. I think I've had about 60 partners since my last test, I can count on one hand how many were unprotected but it only takes that one I suppose. What's done is done though so I'm not going to dwell on that aspect. I feel weirdly calm, I went to cry when I got home but no tears surfaced.

I've been looking it up but theres so much info to take in about CD4(!?), treatments etc. So many questions going through my head.

- Do I tell my work (I work in an office);
- Do I tell uni (I'm doing a law degree);
- What friends/family do I tell? So far told my mum and closest friends;
- How do you process this? What's the first things I should be doing? I've not cried or anything, still in shock;
- What's the stigma like? I've deleted my apps, I'm only 23 and don't think I'm comfortable declaring it publicly yet. I've lived in Sydney and London where it's more acceptable but now I'm in Scotland where it's not as accepted;
- Have people been in a situ where they've been like texting/messaging people before receiving diagnosis and then just dropped all contact of that nature?;
- I feel like I'm gonna end up coming off the radar with guys and just avoiding those situations for now;
- I literally know no one who (has openly said) they have it;

I just feel a bit lost and looking into it is throwing up a whole new world of medical terms that I'm just not in the right mind to process.

My full bloods have been taken and I'm going back on Monday to speak with the doctor about the results and next steps.

I just feel a bit gutted, I'm someone who is so guarded in general life and always come across like a strong, mature, smart person and now I feel like the rugs been pulled from under me. My health isn't the concern as I understand how advanced medicine is now, it's the stigma and life going forward.

I probably sound like a melodramatic gay but it's just such a lifestyle shift.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Offline Ptrk3

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Re: Another Diagnosis...
« Reply #1 on: January 12, 2017, 02:22:15 pm »
Greetings, Leeumcee:  sorry that you are in this position, but glad that you found these forums for support and enlightenment.

Firstly, you should get confirmation of your status before presuming that you have tested positive for HIV antibodies.  False positives do occur, so you will know more on Monday.

If you are confirmed as HIV positive, there is no need for you to do anything, other than get the medical information you need to start you on the proper medication regimen in order that you live a long and healthy life.

Disclosure is a personal decision and other than disclosing to potential sexual partners and medical personnel, you do not need to tell anyone anything, including work, school, or family.  It is your business and many people don't share their medical conditions with people, if they choose not to.  Think long and hard about disclosure because once you disclose, you can't take it back. Take your time and become comfortable in your own skin first.

If it is conclusively determined that you are HIV positive, here are a few links for you to peruse in order to better understand what being HIV positive means today:

https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/newly-diagnosed

https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/starting-hiv-treatment

https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/hiv-medications

https://www.poz.com/category/treatment-news

Always keep in mind that you can live a long and healthy life and achieve all your dreams and goals.

I wish you the best.  Please keep us informed of your progress.
HIV 101 - Basics
HIV 101
You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
HIV Transmission and Risks
You can read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
You can read more about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read more about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
You can read more about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline CaveyUK

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Re: Another Diagnosis...
« Reply #2 on: January 12, 2017, 03:21:27 pm »
Hi. Sorry to hear about the finger-prick result. As has been said, you need to get the confirmatory test results and fingers crossed that it doesn't validate the first result.

In response to your specific questions, and assuming you do get confirmation :

- Do I tell my work (I work in an office);
No need to tell anyone at all if you don't want to, and it doesn't impact your job. I haven't told my work. Conversely, some are more open to disclosure. It's entirely a personal thing. My only advice is - once you let the genie out of the bottle you can't put it back, so I would say nothing until you have fully processed everything.
Quote
- Do I tell uni (I'm doing a law degree);
Same answer as above
Quote
- What friends/family do I tell? So far told my mum and closest friends;
Limit it to that at the moment, for the reason mentioned above. It is sometimes tempting to tell everyone, but in reality there are very few who really do have a 'need to know', so limit your exposure as much as you can to start with.
Quote
- How do you process this? What's the first things I should be doing? I've not cried or anything, still in shock;
Get the confirmation test. Read up about the condition online but please treat anything older than a couple of years as being out of date. Stick to trusted sites like Poz, THT and I-base.info. Ask any questions you may have here. Knowledge really is power when it comes to HIV, for a myriad of reasons.
Quote
- What's the stigma like? I've deleted my apps, I'm only 23 and don't think I'm comfortable declaring it publicly yet. I've lived in Sydney and London where it's more acceptable but now I'm in Scotland where it's not as accepted;
Stigma does exist everywhere unfortunately. Hopefully this will get better over time, but it's a fact of life at the moment. Sex is probably last thing on your mind right now, but it won't stay that way... One thing I will say is that the laws relating to HIV risk in Scotland differ to those in England in that you don't need to actually transmit the virus to be prosecuted (whereas you do in England). You should inform sexual partners of your status as a 'best practice' but due to that law it is even more important to do so in Scotland.
Quote
- Have people been in a situ where they've been like texting/messaging people before receiving diagnosis and then just dropped all contact of that nature?;
- I feel like I'm gonna end up coming off the radar with guys and just avoiding those situations for now;
I'm sure there has been many. But once you have wrapped your head around things, and have the virus under control then there is no reason you cannot enjoy a full sex life. Just don't feel under any pressure in that regard right now.
Quote
- I literally know no one who (has openly said) they have it;
Most people with it are not widely open about their status. With meds as good as we have these days, people living full life-spans and not suffering noticeable appearance changes, there are far fewer reasons for anyone to feel the need to disclose if they don't feel comfortable with it. Thats not the same for everyone of course, but it's worth remembering. Also, forums such as this have a lot of folk living with the virus who are full of knowledge and experience around the condition, and we are here to support.

My advice to you would be to read up on the condition, find the results of the confirmatory test and if needed, listen to your doctor and work through the treatment steps. The first year post diagnosis is always a bit of a roller coaster but things do settle down for most into a very routine state of affairs after a while.

You only just know, so I think it's important to not tell anyone else until you have processed everything and have all the info, also don't focus purely on the sex thing immediately...just focus on making sure you can get and stay healthy...all that stuff will still be waiting for you eventually.

Best of luck
« Last Edit: January 12, 2017, 03:25:08 pm by CaveyUK »
HIV - Basics
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You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
HIV Transmission and Risks
You can read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
You can read more about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read more about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
You can read more about PEP and PrEP here:
PEP and PrEP

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Another Diagnosis...
« Reply #3 on: January 12, 2017, 07:36:39 pm »
Hi

You are worrying about a lot of things, even if you do go on to be diagnosed HIV positive most if not all of your concerns are not needed.

Reactive results happen all the time, we see them here all the time as well, at the moment it means nothing other than that more specific follow-up testing is needed. Trust me you are at least the 4 or 5th poster this month alone with an initial reactive result, it happens. So go see your doctor first and get tested, and until than not much point telling anybody anything as there is simply nothing to tell.

In the meantime I also moved your thread to this section of the forum " Am I infected" please only post here.

If you do indeed confirm to be living with HIV I can tell you there are plenty of people living with HIV openly even in Scotland, its simply not something to be ashamed about, that said nobody has told you and why would they?  Look if you are living with HIV that than it is up to you if you live openly or not and who you disclose to other than required disclosures for example to future partners or to doctors and in medical treatment situations there is not need to disclose, its up to you.

People living with HIV can live normal lives, they pay bills, go to work, fall in love, and have to plan for retirements just like everybody else.

If you confirm a negative status that keep the following lesson from this in mind, use condoms and going forward test at least yearly for STI's including but not limited to HIV.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, every time, no exceptions.

Keep in mind that some sexual practices which may be described as ‘safe’ in terms of HIV transmission might still pose a risk for transmission of other STI's, so please do get fully tested regularly and at least yearly for all STI's including but not limited to HIV and test more frequently if unprotected intercourse occurs

Also note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms and the only way of knowing is by testing.

More information on HIV Basics, PEP, TaSP and Transmission can be found through the links in my signature to our POZ pages, this includes information on HIV Testing

Kind regards

Jim

Please Note.
As a member of the AM I Infected Forum you are required to only post in this one thread no matter how long between visits or the subject matter. You can find this thread by going to your profile and selecting show own post and it will take you here . It helps us to help you when you keep all your thoughts or questions in one thread and it helps other readers to follow the discussion. Any additional threads will be deleted.
« Last Edit: January 12, 2017, 08:03:15 pm by JimDublin »
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
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Read more about Testing here:
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Offline Leeumcee

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  • Posts: 2
Re: Another Diagnosis...
« Reply #4 on: January 16, 2017, 08:05:44 am »
Hello!

Well, update: You can move this thread back to the Diagnosed topics, that's my bloods back today to confirm.

Strangely ok with it, I'm quite practical as a person anyway so I've just been concentrating on what to do and haven't had any wobblies (yet!).

Really appreciate everyones comments though, such a great support here.

Wish I hadn't told a couple of people. Whereas I've been ok, I've had to take care of them as they've been so emotional about it - not what I've really needed. I've been getting on with my usual day-to-day life and keeping myself distracted but then people will bring things back to my diagnosis. I suppose they're processing it still and want to talk about it but it's just not how I deal with things.

Have an appointment to get the full details of my viral load/CD4 count, medication etc. They also said they'll discuss telling previous partners... My last test was March and I've been with quite a few people in Australia, Asia and UK since so I'm not sure how I go about that. How have other people done this? What did you say etc? She said they can do it for me?

Been feeling rather sick as well recently. Bit nauseous, diorreha (sp?) and generally run down. I've also quit smoking this week which hasn't helped!

Anyway, there's my update on things - thanks for listening :-)

Offline Wade

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Re: Another Diagnosis...
« Reply #5 on: January 16, 2017, 08:27:39 am »
Hi Lee, Sorry to hear your result was confirmed positive, but Welcome to the Forums.
You are taking the first step by starting Treatment, and you sound grounded with a good and positive attitude.
Keep us posted with your progress and numbers after your labs are posted.

Best, Wade
 
HIV 101 - Basics
 HIV 101
 You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
 HIV Transmission and Risks
 You can read more about Testing here:
 HIV Testing
 You can read more about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
 HIV TasP
 You can read more about HIV prevention here:
 HIV prevention
 You can read more about PEP and PrEP here
 PEP and PrEP

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Another Diagnosis...
« Reply #6 on: January 16, 2017, 08:56:16 am »
Hi

Well partner notification is really simple if you don't know who and how to contact someone then its going to be difficult/not possible. As for the people you so know, if you choose to tell them (you should) you don't have to tell them yourself the GUM clinic can anonymously contact them and inform them they may have had a risk and should test.

Just take it easy go back and get your full result, discuss the results and treatment options and you will be fine. 

Jim
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

My Instagram
Threads

Offline Tonny2

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Re: Another Diagnosis...
« Reply #7 on: January 31, 2017, 09:27:37 pm »


          OJO         HELLO LEE...JUST  TO WELCOME YOU...I GUESS, YOU NEED TO MAKE SOME CHANGES TO YOUR SEX LIFE, AT LEAST UNTIL YOU KNOW ALL THE INFORMATION YOU NEED TO KEEP BEING SAFE, YOU DO NOT NEED ANY OTHER BUG TO DEAL WITH RIGHT NOW...HAVING HIV IS A  RESPONSABILITY AND SOMETHING THAT MIGHT GET YOU IN TROUBLE IF YOU DON'T DISCLOSE, IF YOU LIVE IN THE USA, IN SOME STATES HAVING HIV AND NOT DISCLOSING IT TO YOUR SEXUAL PARTNER IS A  "NO, NO"...PLEASE KEEP US POSTED...BEST OF LUCK                               OJO

 


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