What Happened To Dingo's Blog?

[FiercenBed]

i know that there were some issues but he was posting in his blog. now the blog is taken down and he hasnt logged in for a while.

i chatted with him a couple of times and at the end of the day he seemed like a nice guy with just a lot of problems like a lot of people including myself. his struggle with alcohol really hit home with me.

hope he is okay!

[J.R.E.]

He must have pulled it down. Thats unfortunate. I also wish him well, and hope that he's receiving the support that he needs from those around him.


Ray

[Jody]

I think about Bailey from time to time and hope he is doing well. 

Jody

[Peter Staley]

Sadly, we had no choice.  He burned his own last bridge to us, I'm afraid.  Trust me, we gave him every chance in the world to stay with us in some format.

Since he was banned from the forums, he had been using his AIDSmeds blog to run his live webcam, and on many nights, he would get drunk, then verbally attack many members of our forums -- the same behaviour that got him warned a hundred times in the forums, and led to his eventual banning.  He even started badmouthing AIDSmeds and POZ, which were providing him a large audience for his nightly displays of embarrassing self-destruction.

We received many complaints from members of these forums, and had hoped he'd get it out of his system, and start blogging like he used to.  Sadly, things only got worse.

The night before last, during his live webcam "show", he said "Peter Staley makes too much money
off of my blog to have the balls to pull it."

Wrong, on so many levels.

For starters, I could make a lot more money at plenty of other jobs -- remember, I used to work on Wall Street.  I do this because I love it, and I'll gladly give up a few banner ad views to prevent someone we had treated with a great deal of respect from maligning our site and our members.

I will also have some exciting news soon about a couple of great additions to our blogging team.  Stay tuned!

Peter

[Andy Velez]

Dear All,

Having known Peter for more than 20 years since we stood alongside each other at ACT UP's first demo in 1987, the idea that he is in any way in  HIV for money is beyond ludicrous. He's always been in the vanguard of activism, whether it was breaking into and  barricading himself as a protest in a pharma's office, re-decorating Jesse Helm's entire house with a giant condom or founding the Treatment Action Group, his efforts have always been imaginative and progressive and moving matters forward for the HIV/AIDS world. At times I find myself wondering what his next thing is going to be after AIDSMEDS. Whatever it is I know it will end up being useful to others because that's an essential aspect of Peter's personality.

As far as Bailey is concerned, the bloggers are special voices. Very sadly Bailey just hasn't been able to get his devils under control and deal with the responsibility that opportunity brings. We've watched with hope and concern that Bailey would recover, but it just hasn't happened. If intelligence was enough he'd be doing fine. But having native smarts is not enough to address alcoholism effectively and whatever else is involved in his problems. To simply allow his abuse of the privilige of having a blog would be irresponsible on our part. And it would not be a good thing for him either. We're very saddened that it's come to this. 

Each of us writes our own script and it's by no means always a happy one. I daresay pretty much everyone reading this now can think of some times in life when we messed up. Badly. I can only hope Bailey manages to get the help he needs that leads him to find strength within himself to recover. He's in trouble and he needs help.

In the meantime as Peter has mentioned, he is shortly going to announce what we think is some very exciting news regarding the blogs. I'm all for it because it's about choosing life over destructiveness.

In solidarity, 


   

[Ric Wilke]

Most Respected Moderators,

I will miss Bailey as I also miss Tim.  I know that the politics behind the scenes should stay there.  I would like to thank you for your explanation of the most recent chain of events.

With regard to the "exciting news" about the blogs, please don't introduce us to any other POZ editorial staff members as new bloggers.  In my opinion, the blogs are already too heavily weighted with their presence.  When all is said and done, they are not independents but employees of Smart & Strong.

Having said that, I would like to nominate yours truly as one of the new blogger.  I don't bring a huge literary talent to the table.  I do bring a huge heart.  I have been around AIDSmeds.com since October 2002.  And I think that I have a small group of Forum Siblings who would read what I post.  I'm not very political.  I'm a Log Cabin Republican who supports Hillary Clinton.  And lastly, being a blogger would give me an excuse to get my butt out of bed in the morning.

The times, they are a changing and we all need to change with them or we may be lost in the dust.  I don't want to be lost is that sort of storm.  What I would like to do is to share my journey through changing times with my Forum Siblings, old and new.

Please think about it Peter, Tim, Andy, Ann, Jan and the others who weigh in on situations such as this.

With respect to all, Ric

[Terry]

If you were speaking with Bailey then why didn't you ask HIM yourself what the problem was???

I haven't read any of the above post, so I'm saying this off the cuff. I found that person to be very offensive and an insult to myself as a gay person. Let me rephrase that, a "Very proud gay man."

I wish him no harm. But he has no commpassion coming from me. In my opinion He's a self-serving and simple minded jerk. Just my opinion on this person.

There are a few others, that are still here that are similar to Bailey... In their personalities.... Just read all those that post over and over and over and over and over, you get my point???

Then again there are many many more in this forum that make me proud of who I am and of the gay community... (Way too many for me to list.)

PS. If it were possible for me to meet up with Baily I'd gladly pay the money to do so. Nothing would make me happier than to be able to slap that "F in" jerk one on one... He's why the term faggot is so easily brushed off in every day life....  Excuse me, I need to get some rest right now... No booze. No drugs... No insecurities... Just old age and really don't give a rat ass about that fool...

[Lwood]

After a careful review, we've decided to permanently ban DingoBoi from the forums.  He's been warned many, many times about engaging in flamebait.  We've told him many times to use the Report To Moderator link instead.  He posted another blatant attack instead.

Some folks just aren't meant for such a large and diverse online community, but I for one will continue to enjoy his videoblogs on AIDSmeds.com.  For those of you who enjoyed your discussions with Bailey, whether by posting here or with PMs, I encourage you to use Bailey's livechat feature on his blog (http://blogs.poz.com/bailey/).

With great regret,

Peter

Edited to add:  If anyone dares to gloat about this in the forums, you'll be given an immediate Time-Out, with no warning.



" If Anyone Dares to Gloat about it in these  Forums Youll be given an immediate Time -Out , with no warning ."

^^^^  above quote from Peter Staley ...^^^^^^


ummmmm  .....

[Terry]

 I'm a Log Cabin Republican who supports Hillary Clinton.

This makes you one sick SOB!

Sorry Ric, but a log cabin republican?

What must you be thinking? We have a Republican president that wants a constitutional amendment against us even breathing and you support this and you want a blog?

Go back to bed and stay there.... Shame on you for sucking the tit of the Right Wing Idiots..

[Ric Wilke]

Terry -

Thank you for your "thoughtful" comments.  They have been most helpful in adding to this discussion.

[Queen Tokelove]

I can see this thread is going to be locked before you know it. I have not read Dingo's blog or to be honest even read a post from him here, at least I don't think so, maybe he got banned before I had a chance to, who knows. Other than what Peter said, I have been told by other forum members that Dingo has done some really messed up things to other forum members which in my book is not cool by any means. I realize that Dingo has issues like we all do but when fueled by alcohol can make things even worse. For those of you who consider Dingo to be a friend and are a friend to him, wouldn't the thing to do is try to get him some help? It seems to me that he is obviously crying out for help.

You can sit here and make excuses for him but is it really helping him?

[anniebc]

If Anyone Dares to Gloat about it in these  Forums Youll be given an immediate Time -Out , with no warning ."

^^^^  above quote from Peter Staley ...^^^^^^

Terry
This was given out by Peter on the 9th September 07...but it still stands, calling someone out who is not here to defend themselves is totally uncalled for and disrespectful, and the same goes regarding your reply to Ric's post...this kind of thing is not tolerated in the forums, you have been put on a TO before because of this back in Dec 06, so you know the rules

I have put you on another TO for 7 days, the reason I have not put you on a 30 day TO is because of the time lapse between your offending posts, but if the others Mods want to increase this to 30 days then that's fine with me.


Jan

Edited: to add the name of the one being TO'd..in case there was any confusion.

[xyahka]

Anniebc, thanks a lot for making the rules to be respected... some people complain about other's behaviour when they behave exactly same way...

Now, i would like to say something about this...

With regard to the "exciting news" about the blogs, please don't introduce us to any other POZ editorial staff members as new bloggers.  In my opinion, the blogs are already too heavily weighted with their presence.  When all is said and done, they are not independents but employees of Smart & Strong.

I think i want to correct you dear Ric, cause there is only ONE poz editorial staff member out of 11 bloggers. So the blogs are NOT "too heavily weighted with their presence". The only Poz staff editorial member who blogs is Regan and i personally like her blog a lot. I wouldn't mind to read about someone else who is trying to make a change despite working for Poz Mag or not. I don't get why people tend to think that working for Poz is not good... it is actually a great thing to do... and it has nothing to do with being independent or not... you know, Poz Mag is on our side and is speaking on our behalf.

Cheers,

Juan Carlos (sad for loosing another fellow blogger)

[Ric Wilke]

I request that my suggestion to be considered for a blog position be withdrawn.  This decision on my part will save the Moderators from having to respond to my previous request and I have also decided that I am not willing to sacrifice my ability to speak my mind when I feel it may be helpful to our beloved forums.

May these forums live longer than any of us who currently read them and gain strength from them.

[DancerBoy]

I think i want to correct you dear Ric, cause there is only ONE poz editorial staff member out of 11 bloggers. So the blogs are NOT "too heavily weighted with their presence".

Actually the POZ and Smart & Strong bloggers are:
Shawn, Regan, Mark, and Marvelyn.

With the exception of Shawn (who posted a few times) nobody else ever posted to these forums.

[Matty the Damned]

With the exception of Shawn (who posted a few times) nobody else ever posted to these forums.

O Rly?

MtD

[Mouse]

With the exception of Shawn (who posted a few times) nobody else ever posted to these forums.

O Rly?

MtD

Thus bringing the total number of posts between all four bloggers to like a whopping 20 or something like that.

[Peter Staley]

Actually the POZ and Smart & Strong bloggers are:
Shawn, Regan, Mark, and Marvelyn.

With the exception of Shawn (who posted a few times) nobody else ever posted to these forums.

Wrong.  Shawn has never been on the Smart+Strong payroll.  He's been written about in POZ Magazine, and because our editorial team found his story interesting and different from the other bloggers, he was invited to blog.  Mark used to work on our IT staff, but only started blogging after going on disability, and to blog about his Hep C & HIV coinfection.  Again, he's not on our payroll, and is blogging because we thought a blog about coinfection might provide an important service for all those sharing his current health issues.  Marvelyn was one of the only two bloggers ever to start a blog while on our payroll.  She left Smart+Strong some time ago, and stopped blogging shortly thereafter.

That leaves Regan.  She's our only blogger that's also on our payroll.

But what I really find strange is the persistant view of some that working at Smart+Strong is like working for some evil empire.  That's laughable.  We're a very small "company" -- fewer than 30 folks when you count the part-timers and interns -- that's sole line of work is creating content for people living with HIV.  I'm very proud to work here.  Most everyone that works here really loves what they do, and we're proud of the content we create.  I think we do some amazing work at providing online and printed content for people living with HIV -- certainly better than many other organizations, including many not-for-profits.

I don't know what to do about the disconnect between how some in our forums view Smart+Strong, and the reality of how this place is actually run and who runs it.  Maybe we need a "visit POZ/AIDSmeds" day (or two).  Seriously, if you're in New York, and want to actually see this huge corporation, send me a PM in advance, and we'll schedule a private tour for you.  Plan on a whole day, given how many buildings, floors and people you'll be seeing (LOL).

Peter

[Dachshund]

Seriously, if you're in New York, and want to actually see this huge corporation, send me a PM in advance, and we'll schedule a private tour for you.  Plan on a whole day, given how many buildings, floors and people you'll be seeing (LOL).

Peter

Throw in lunch with Paquito at the Russian Tea Room and I am so there.

[keyite]

I don't know what to do about the disconnect between how some in our forums view Smart+Strong, and the reality of how this place is actually run and who runs it.

I wouldn't worry about it. Storm in a teacup, I think.

[FiercenBed]

jeeesh.....iv never gotten such a response from any of my other 116 post. quick note of appreciation to mr stanley's quick and honest reply. my only reason for the post was to inquire into bailey's safety from one poz to another which i think is paramount over any personality issues.

i guess i was fortunate. every time i chatted w/ bailey he was friendly and personable. i mean this dude was litterally crying for help! we had something in common that i thought i could help with. my d.p. is a hard core binge drinker. there are times when i dont know the other person across the table. one minute he is the nicest most caring person; the next the biggest bastard youd ever meet. this appears to be his problem. alcoholism as serious as bailey's is just as serious as hiv. without intervention it will kill him. if we just pushed everyone off the cliff who needed help that we didnt get along with i dont think there would be many of us left.

this is a forum. i know with out some kind of control this place would run amok. as a moderator i dont think i would take anything anyone said personally. i mean how much power could bailey have had? i havnt always agreed with all the decisions going on around here, but this place works. someone has to pay the server bill.

peace & good health over the holiday!

[woodshere]

if we just pushed everyone off the cliff who needed help that we didnt get along with i dont think there would be many of us left.

Based on everything I have read here and in other threads I don't think anyone pushed bailey off a cliff.  I think he was given chance after chance and had many people offer support with his drinking, especially when he devoted a thread to his drinking problem many many months ago.  There comes a time when the only thing left is tough love.  Parent's, partners, friends sometimes must tell someone enough is enough get out, in hopes that they will seek the help they need.

[Queen Tokelove]

My father was a recovering alcoholic and one of my childhood memories was of him being stumbling drunk and hiding bottles all over the house. One of the best memories was watching him bust his ass every week to make it to his meetings. The thing my father use to always tell me other than one day at a time is that you  have to want to make it work.

Now that Woods has mention it, I think I do recall Dingo's thread a few months back. It is sad what has happened to Dingo because to me it sounds like he is on a path of self destruction and has burned quite a few bridges along the way. What I am wondering is, does he not have anyone down there who cares about him? I do not know anything of his personal life but from the posts I have read, it sounds like at least he had some friends. I have heard of some of the things he has done which I do not excuse but I can't help but notice the seriousness of his problem. Just saying......


Modified for a twist of words

[racingmind]

Bailey predicted that I would commit suicide at a very emotional time in my life.  I feel sorry for him, but I can't say that I am sorry to see him gone from here.  He really needs help and I hope that he gets it.

[Basquo]

I remember a sweet guy in Montreal who, even with a beer in hand, was a delight to be around…”Bonjour!” still echoes.

I saw him post what I thought was catty online sometimes but also saw him cut to his point sometimes.

I watched his live cam when he was sober, and read his blog entries.

I worried about him, still do.

I miss him much, but I’m very glad I missed what was described as his recent actions.

If anyone has a link to his live cam, it would be appreciated. I just want to check up on him.

[thunter34]

I have a link.  He's on right now, actually.  If you hurry, you might be able to catch him while he's still coherent.

I'll send you a PM with the link. 

[david25luvit]

Dingo's meltdown began shortly after Montreal and just got worse.  My heart goes out to him but I understand why he was
banned ....the fact that he was able to continue to blog surprised me.  There was a time when I thought of him as one of the
most positive and entertaining voices here on the forum...  I pray he finds his way again....  I miss him already......

[Cliff]

I remember a sweet guy in Montreal who, even with a beer in hand, was a delight to be around…”Bonjour!” still echoes.

That's who I remember.  I'm glad I missed his melt-down (I think he was banned from the forums when I was on my hiatus).

I'm sure he'll find his way.

Cliff

[AlanBama]

I miss Bailey also.

I wish him peace, happiness and love.   I hope he gets the help and healing he so desperately needs.

I also agree with Peter's decision to do what he did.   This place must be kept safe for all of us, and there must be a limit to the bad behaviour that we should be expected to put up with from ANYONE.

Alan

[Carolann]

I for one am glad he is gone. 

[Teresa]

I hate to see anyone get banned. I wish Bailey all the best and I hope things really do work out for him. I think of him and London puppy often.

Teresa

[Carolann]

I hate to see anyone get banned. I wish Bailey all the best and I hope things really do work out for him. I think of him and London puppy often.

Teresa

Yes, his dog was cute.  I am sorry I responded so harshly.  I know he is in pain.  God knows, I haven't been the nicest person here due to my own physical and emotional struggles.  I too wish him well.

[Ric Wilke]

Dear Forum Friends,

As I have stated before, Bailey is now and will always be a friend of mine.  None of us are perfect; we all have our own individual problems that we face on a daily basis.  Some are recovering alcoholics, some are recovering drug users, some are addicted to sex and some combine all of these things.  Does that make us bad or evil persons?  I think not.  Bailey asked me to post the following on his behalf.  I have thought about his request for several weeks and have decided to do so now with the hope that my doing so will not open any festering wounds.

"I have been banned and stricken from the the blogs. The reasons don't really matter for the forums, that's for a courtroom to decide.

For those who do want to remain in touch with me i can be reached at the following:

vidblog@gmail.com
[removed by moderator]

While me and the owners may disagree on issues, this forum is a testament to what it is supposed to be. I have been impressed and surprised by some comments, especially from those whom I have never talked to.

I am actually doing quite well at the moment. I thank you all for your concern. It is most appreciated. I look forward to continuing our relationships outside this forum should you choose to do so."

I believe that friendship is one of the most important things that we have in this world.  But with friendship comes the good times and also the bad.  If you turn your back on a friend, who will be there when you need support some day down the road?

With great respect to you all, Ric

[Queen Tokelove]

Despite whatever drama is going on, I am glad that Dingo is doing well. It's good to know that someone was there for him which was my concern. But then I worry about everyone.

[J.R.E.]

Ric,

Thanks for posting this. I am also glad to hear that Bailey is doing well, and I hope he continues this path. I emailed him one time a while back, I will try again. I went to the stickam.com site, but will have to vissit it later , when I have a clearer head !!

Perhaps someday all us Florida boys ( and anyone else that wants to join) can get together for a mini gathering . Something to think about !!


Ray

[Peter Staley]

Ric -- I have removed Bailey's link to his webcam site.  He's been using his webcam since BEFORE his blog was shut down to bash various members of these forums, and to bash AIDSmeds and POZ.  As founder of this site, it is well within my right to remove links to sites that serve to disrupt AIDSmeds.com and its forums.

I'm also locking this thread, since everyone has now had their say about this sad chapter in the forums and in our blogs.  If anyone attempts to start another thread about this, it will be promptly deleted.

Peter