Exposed to a POZ man, what are my chances?

[Panicman]

Hey all, I'm a 25 year old man here who put himself in a idiotic situation.

I met up with a guy I met off the internet. I asked him beforehand both on the net and in person about his status which he claimed to be negative. He insisted on bareback claiming to have an allergy to latex. He performed oral on me for about 2 minutes, and I topped him (unprotected) for about 1 minute before I climaxed. Right afterwards I went to the restroom and wiped my penis clean with a warm damp towel, didn't notice any blood or other bodily fluids on it outside of the lube. We parted ways and then a few minutes later I sprayed some rubbing alcohol on my head and shaft to kill any bacteria that may have been present.

About two days later I started getting suspicious of his claims to being clean and decided to start a fake profile on the site that I met him through posing as a poz guy looking to hook up. When I asked him his status through the fake profile he admitted to being poz. When I confronted him on my real profile he denied it. And when I sent him back the message he just sent me stating he was poz he started to get defensive, he has since canceled his profile.

I'm kinda nervous now cause I don't know if I've gotten infected or not. I've been to a few other sites and most everyone is telling me I have nothing to worry about, but I can't shake the feeling that I'll be getting a poz test when I go. It's been about a week now since the encounter, I don't have any ARS symptoms but I did notice two days ago that when I woke up there was a small stain in the crotch of my boxers. When I milked my penis there was a small amount of residue that leaked out, I wiped it off with a paper towel and looked at it under a light, it seemed to have a slight yellow hue, but I don't know if that had to do with the light source or not. I know the chances of catching HIV increase with an STD, but I'm not sure by how much. I'm not having any burning sensation when I pee and it doesn't seem to be a constant leakage, just when it's been a while since I've gone pee. I do however have a dull aching pain in my urethra and parts of my shaft from time to time, I don't know if that's just anxiety or what...

Anyone out there that might be able to give me some kind of solice? I see MiamiLat posts here too and he's been a great guy to help me get through some of this stress. But as the story progresses it just seems like it's getting worse. I'll be going to get a rapid test done in about half an hour just to try to calm my nerves a bit even though I know it's way too soon to be conclusive. I just hope that I'll be alright...

[Ann]

Panic,

For a start, unless this incident happened at least six weeks ago, you're wasting your time and money by testing today. The vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by this time, but a negative result at six weeks MUST be confirmed at the end of the three month window period.

You have had a risk and you do need to test, but you also need to know that hiv is a fragile, difficult virus to transmit. As the insertive partner, you have a good chance of testing negative.

You need to learn from this situation. You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

You can test for STIs other than hiv ten days to two weeks after this incident. However, syphilis shares a three month window period with hiv for a conclusive result.

Good luck, keep us posted.

Ann

[Andy Velez]

Panic, I just want to add on to Ann's comments, with which I agree completely.

HIV is not something to fool around with. That means everytime you have intercourse, whether as the insertive or the receptive partner, whoever is putting it in needs to be wearing a condom. If someone is allergic to latex there is an alternative non-latex condom which is safe and reliable.

Talking about one's status beforehand is not enough. It doesn't matter how nice or great looking or anything the other guy is. Or what you think you know about his history. Sometimes a perfectly well meaning person doesn't actually know his status accurately.

So until such time as you may find yourself in a securely monogamous relationship in which both partners test negative at the same time, until that time a condom everytime intercourse is involved is a must. No exceptions!

Good luck with your test result. I agree with Ann that the odds are in your favor that you will test negative.

Cheers, 

[Panicman]

Thanks for the response guys. I know better but just had a VERY bad lapse in judgement, so much for trying to be nice...

Well I did end up getting tested today, found a place not too far from where I live that did the test for free. Talked to the counselor while the test was processing she was very nice in telling me what my risks were and whatnot. As it stands right now I am negative. It was more of a test just to give me an idea on what my status was up till that encounter last week, cause I know it's way too early to tell for the particular one I'm concerned about. Honestly though I do feel more optimistic about remaining negative after getting the test, I know I'm still not in the clear but it gives me hope.

I will be going to get tested for all other STDs later tonight just to be on the safe side, I'm sure praying that those will come back negative too... Again, thanks for the words and support, Ive been checking the archives and you guys seem to be really informative, I'll trust your advice and relax a bit myself as well.

[Andy Velez]

I'm glad you found the exchanges to be helpful.

Stay productively busy during your waiting time for a valid HIV test result. By doing that the time can pass much more quickly than you may imagine possible at this moment.

As for "being nice," the nicest thing you can do for the world is as the first order of business  to always take good care ofyourself and your health. Really.

Good luck with your tests.

[Panicman]

Hey, I just figured I'd give a slight update on my current situation.

So far it's been 10 days since the exposure and as it stands I have not had any signs of ARS of any kind. I know that's a good sign and all, but it also scares me into thinking that I'm just counting my chickens too early. I have had some aches and pains that seem to come and go from time to time. Mainly when I'm thinking about my situation is when it seems to flare up, but the lack of any other symptoms makes me believe that it's more anxiety than a sign of infection.

Like a dumbass, I've been checking my mouth everyday to see if it's getting any redder, or whiter, because every now and again I'll get a strange tingle. But I also have to remind myself that I had dental work done this week as well as last and it's most likely a result of that. I can feel little bumps in the back of my mouth if I stick my tongue as far back as I can, but I'm sure those have always been there. The fact that I can still swallow without feeling any pain lets me know that I don't have any sign of pharyngitis.

My only real concern at the moment is the odd pain I'll feel in my urethra from time to time. It doesn't burn when I pee, and the only time I have gone and not produced much urine is when I'm having an anxiety attack thinking too much about my situation. The times when I'm doing other things and not thinking about my HIV exposure I feel totally fine, not a problem in the world.

I'm writing this mainly because I've seen a lot of posts on here from people who have had very low, to no risk exposures. Even though I can understand the panic, it's just funny to me the amount of ignorance there is about the spread of this virus. I'm not dogging any of you out there for being concerned about your health, honestly if I was in your shoes I'd probably feel the same way. Hell right now I'd love to trade places with one of you and be afraid over a protected encounter, but that was my stupid 100%

As I'm typing this, I have absolutely no pains in my body, my penis just slightly stings, but I'm sure that's due to my underwear riding up on me right now. My throat feels completely fine as I'm sipping on a bottle of water. My only complaint would be the slight pain in my gums from the dental work, but that will most likely fade completely over the weekend. I guess I'm just trying to make some of you feel a bit better about your situations as most of the posts I've read here half as risky an exposure as I had. Even with that, I still think that I will end up coming out of this negative.

I'll be going to get a full STD screening on Tuesday, by then it will have been two weeks since my exposure. I don't think I have anything to worry about, but I know if any of those tests come back positive for anything it'll probably send my anxiety through the roof. I'm trying to resist the temptation to get tested again at 3 weeks at just wait it out until the 6 week mark, but I'll probably do it anyway in order to keep myself sane to some degree. Just keep me in your thoughts you guys and I'll do the same. Feel free to talk to me, I can use the company...

[Ann]

Panic,

Stop searching your body for symptoms. You'll only drive yourself nuts and besides, many, many people notice no symptoms whatsoever and yet still end up testing positive. Many, many people experience every symptom in the book yet have NOT been infected.

Forget symptoms and concentrate on being productively busy while you wait for the APPROPRIATE time to test. In your case, the appropriate time for a first test would be six weeks. If that test result is negative, you need to confirm it at three months.

Ann

[Panicman]

Ann,

Thanks for the reply. Believe me, I know that it's bad to do what I'm doing. It wasn't a post to show worry over my wait time, but more of a post to try to alleviate someone who was either going through the same situation or less. I felt that coming from someone in the same predicament as myself it would probably mean more.

I have been keeping myself busy, I have a big house project that I'll be doing over the weekend and that will take up a lot of time I'm sure and through it all I'm sure I'll feel just fine. It's that which also worries me. Why? Cause just like you said, there are people out there who have absolutely no symptoms who end up testing positive and then there are people who have every symptom in the book plus some and test negative. My last scare about three years ago, which was only unprotected oral and protected dipping, me as the top, I ended up getting gonorrhea from, it wasn't until after the nurse told me I should get tested for HIV as well that I started to worry. I ended up coming down with pharyngitis, weakness, loose stools, the works and ended up just fine. This time is totally different, and yet I feel just fine except for when I'm stressed... That's what scares me.

I'm not looking to get babied, it's my fault that it's happened and I accept that. I have a lot working against me, uncircumcised male who engaged in unprotected anal sex with a man who admitted to being HIV positive. I have no idea if he was taking care of himself with meds so there's no clue as to how high his viral count was. At the same time I have a few things working for me, It wasn't that long of an encounter, I washed right after the incident, HIV is a hard virus to contract, and there is still the very slight possibility that the man was lying. I'm not taking that chance though.

But yeah, I know that I'm only driving myself crazy by constatnly checking my body. Even visiting these forums doesn't help much outside of just reading other's posts. Cause I honestly find the, "I just masturbated thinking about sex with another man, did I catch HIV?" threads quite hilarious. But I'm taking this one serious cause this is honestly the first time I've truly put myself in the position to where I could have caught it.

Like I said before though, I was just trying to give hope to those in the same boat as me while also trying to keep myself sane. Thanks again for your words of enlightenment though, even with my fear of living with it I know that you are and are a lot stronger of a person for it than I am.

[Ann]

Panic,

As the top in this situation, you really have a much better chance of testing negative than anything else, even being uncut. My partner is uncut and we were having unprotected for a year and a half before we discovered my status - and he's negative. Still is years later, but of course we use condoms now.

Being an uncut top does not guarantee transmission. Does it happen? Yes. Should you be convinced it happened to you? No. Hope for the best and in the meantime, get on with your life. Just make sure you learn from this experience and use condoms from now on. I'm expecting you to be lucky this time, but don't keep playing this game of roulette with your health.

Ann

[Panicman]

Hey everyone. Almost a week has passed since the last post so I figured I'd give you all another update.

I went today to get an STD test done. Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, and Syphilis. The Gonorrhea and Chlamydia test came back negative, very happy about that. They told me it would be a week or so before the blood test on the syphilis test would be back, and they'd call if I did indeed have it, so I'm hoping that call doesn't come.

It's been 15 days and as of now I still have yet to experience any ARS symptoms, I've had some fairly bad anxiety attacks that have damn near put me out, but I fought through them. My only complaint at this point would be the irritated feeling I have in the back of my throat, most prominently towards the back of my tongue. This morning it was very itchy and even taking a deep breath made me have to cough it seems to have calmed down as the day has gone by and as I have calmed down. I'm assuming I might be getting a throat infection. I have a friend who works in a doctor's office and she said that strep is going around like crazy right now. So hopefully if I do end up getting an infection that's where it's coming from.

Just writing this to all of you so that you know that I'm still here and hanging on. As the time gets close to test I'm feeling more optimistic that it'll be negative.