worried about possible exposure

[anxiousgirl]

Hello!
I have been reading this forum for awhile and think that it is so great. 16 days ago I "made-out" with a man for about an hour. I think it was what you'd consider "deep kissing" however it was somewhat soft and not too rough. As soon as we finished kissing I got thinking about my potential HIV risk. I know that you guys say all over these forums that kissing is not a risk, but as it has been pointed out, many other websites including the CDC post it as a risk. How would I possibly know if there had been trace amounts of blood from his mouth or from mine?
About a week after the incident, I got sick with a sore throat, low grade fever, runny nose, cough, hoarse voice. The sore throat and hoarse voice as well as a bit of coughing has lasted for over a week now and I am worried sick. As well, I also noticed tonight that I have a white coating on the back of my tongue. I was just at the doctor today and he didn't mention it when he looked at my throat but it looks very strange to me. When i googled what this could mean I of course found websites which say that such things found in the mouth can be one of the first signs of HIV infection.
I dont understand why so many websites post saliva as a risk for infection if it isn't.

[jkinatl2]

Hello!
I have been reading this forum for awhile and think that it is so great. 16 days ago I "made-out" with a man for about an hour. I think it was what you'd consider "deep kissing" however it was somewhat soft and not too rough. As soon as we finished kissing I got thinking about my potential HIV risk. I know that you guys say all over these forums that kissing is not a risk, but as it has been pointed out, many other websites including the CDC post it as a risk. How would I possibly know if there had been trace amounts of blood from his mouth or from mine?
About a week after the incident, I got sick with a sore throat, low grade fever, runny nose, cough, hoarse voice. The sore throat and hoarse voice as well as a bit of coughing has lasted for over a week now and I am worried sick. As well, I also noticed tonight that I have a white coating on the back of my tongue. I was just at the doctor today and he didn't mention it when he looked at my throat but it looks very strange to me. When i googled what this could mean I of course found websites which say that such things found in the mouth can be one of the first signs of HIV infection.
I dont understand why so many websites post saliva as a risk for infection if it isn't.

I don't understand why other websites list saliva as dangerous when it isn't, either. You would think that would have been determined when we classified HIV as an infectious, rather than contagious disease.

But as moderator here, I have my hands full. While I would welcome a war of the sciences with the CDC (or even when discussing cunnilingus, POZ's own badly tended archives) but all I can do right now is state categorically that there is NOT A SINGLE BIT OF RISK IN KISSING.

Not only has kissing NEVER been implicated in a single case of HIV, but saliva contains over a DOZEN identified elements (enzymes and proteins) that inhibit HIV and render it's glycoprotein shell inert, meaning that it CANNOT infect). That's science.

It's also statsistically sound. ALL cases of HIV have been traced to reliable meathods of transmission; unprotected penetrative sex, sharing IV drug needles, mother to child transmission, and the rogue healthcare setting. That's it!

It's enough, isn't it? I mean, without throwing such a benign act such as kissing into the mix? It's INSANE that ANY media outlet or authority would make such a claim in 2013. Hell, it should have been embarrassing ten years ago.

You got me, though. I don't know why perpetuating stigma and ignorance is part and parcel of such powerful entities.  It's certainly fodder for thought.

[Ann]

Girl,

You have NOT had a risk for hiv infection by any stretch of the imagination. Kissing simply is NOT a risk.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST FOR HIV SPECIFICALLY OVER KISSING, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann

[anxiousgirl]

Hello again! Thank you for your responses to my initial post it really helped me to get through those few days and realize that there was no risk for HIV with the exposure I had. I have a few other questions though.

I was dating a guy for a few years(from 2008-2011). We nearly always used protection and then one time in the summer of 2010, we didnt and it resulted in a pregnancy. My son was born in May 2011 and we broke up shortly after. In the time that I was pregnant, we had sex a couple of other times without protection. I found out after we broke up that he had cheated on me many times, not even sure the number, and that he had also had many many partners before we met. It is routine practice to be tested for HIV during pregnancy which I was, and I tested negative.
I was not sexually active at all from the time my son was born(may 2011) to September 2012, when I started seeing a new man. After we slept together(protected) and I performed oral sex on him(unprotected). I started to really worry about HIV. I was tested for HIV again in October 2012(baseline), November 2012(6 weeks) and January 2013(3 months). Then again in April 2013(6months) and July 2013(9months). I am not sure what kind of test was used but for each one I could see on the computer screen at my doctors office that I was tested for HIV-1 antibodies, HIV-2 antibodies, and HIV1&2 antigens(I live in Canada Im not sure if this is the same standard preliminary test used in the United States). All five tests came back negative. Then at the end of July I had the kissing incident that was mentioned here previously and I havent been tested since then as you guys confirmed for me that kissing was not a risk.

I know that my testing here looks excessive.. and is really. But the other night I had someone say to me that I am really lucky that my EX(my sons father) didn't give me HIV since he cheated on me so much. It got me thinking about false negative tests and the possibility that for some reason my body may not be producing antibodies, or just show up false negative for some reason. I know from reading the forums that you guys do not give advice based on symptoms and I do not expect you to say yes or no to me having HIV based on this symptom however I should mention that part of what has me worrying I may have had HIV all this time is that I have had a toenail fungus for the last few years, and of course some of the websites floating around talk about toenail fungi being a "SIGN" of an HIV infection. Again I dont expect you to comment on the symptom but it is part of my anxiety. Basically I just want to know if you guys know if it is at all possible for any reason that I would have tested negative five times(or six if you include my initial during my pregnancy) if I had actually been infected all this time.

Thank you all so much for what you do in this forum it is invaluable and so amazing.

[jkinatl2]

You are correct. You are way over-testing and more than a little obsessive regarding HIV.

The window period, globally, for HIV infection is three months.

You have tested reliably (and repeatedly) HIV negative.

If you find that you cannot get these thoughts of HIV out of your head, I urge you to seek professional counseling. A counselor who specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is your best bet, as that treatment shows great success in dealing with obsessive thougths.

Unfortunately, we cannot provide that counseling here.

Wear a condom for penetrative vaginal and anal sex and you will avoid HIV. It really is that simple.