POZ Community Forums
HIV Prevention and Testing => Do I Have HIV? => Topic started by: sincere1 on November 08, 2006, 01:37:10 pm
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Firstly, I'd like to thank you all for your assistance and reassurance for what you do. I would like to describe the details of my sexual episode from last night and see if you think that it warrants PEP or not.
I'm a male, and the person involved with was a transexual, pre-op. Kissing, insertive unprotected oral,genital frottage and fingering occured. however I am concerned about the receptive anal sex, in which the condom was only about half way on his penis as he withdrew. Is this still considered safe sex? Much of the condom was hanging off when we finished in other words.
The main think that worries me is when he was lying on his stomach, I got on top and slid my penis back and forth between his lubricated butt cheeks. My penis was not fully erect and therefore the tip got 'caught' in the anus a time or two while attempting to slide up and down. Would this be considered a risk and warrant testing in your opinion as I had topped him previously protected and there could have been fluids from that?
I am very worried about this and appreciate anyones help with this instance.
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You had safer sex and do not need to worry about being infected with HIV nor do you need PEP. As long as the condom didn't come completely off you were still protect. Find one of Ann's threads and follow the link to condoms and see if you can find one that has a better fit. Yes condoms do come in more than one size.
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thank you very much for the quick response. So I can put my mind at ease over this episode in your opinion? The reason that the condom kept slipping a bit is because the guy wasn't fully erect while inside. I did see that it was on when he pulled out though, so it shouldn't have came off inside i wouldn't think?
The 'frottage' doesn't concern you, in which my penis may have briefly inserted his anus? Would have been just the tip if that.
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You didn't have a risk even if you slid your penis between her cheeks. Now you do know that we have been only discussing HIV and not STDs. STD are more easily to transmit than HIV so when you have your next annual check up have the STD panel done also. Everyone sexually active should be tested at least annually.
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I understand that, thank you.
You responded by saying that I slid in between her cheeks, however WHAT IF the tip of my penis inserted the anus while doing so, very briefly???
thanks again for your responses
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Depending on what you call brief and how far. Now if you are calling brief for 5mins and insertion of over a quarter then I would say get tested. I still would expect you to get a negative result from a brief exposure. PEP is something you want to stay away from if at all possible. The drugs are expensive, they have mild to serious side effects and you have to take them for 28 days. Most people find that it is more than they can handle and don't even finish the first week. You also need to know PEP is not a cure all. It is only 85-86% effective.
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OH ok, thanks for clearing that up. The moment I felt it going in, I backed off, that is what I meant my this. Thanks again.
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Ann or Andy's thoughts would be greatly appreciated as well. Just concerned since it was a possibliity that I may have extremely briefly inserted my penis while performing frottage. Thi sconcerns me because it was not my intentions and I am freaking out with the thought that I may have had insertive unprotected sex, although for only about 1 or 2 seconds.
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You have no concerns except for an STD infection in the situation you provided.
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thanks for the response RapidRod.
Since the tip of my penis would have only been exposed to the anus for a few seconds, and full penetration did not occur then it seems I have nothing to worry about from an hiv perspective atleast. I've read through the other responses on the frottage, but it still seems like a possibility.
Thanks again.
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sincere, if it is going cause you increased anxiety and you don't think you can get over it, test 13 weeks past this last situation. Collect your negative result and it will let you move on. It's whatever YOU decide to do.
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Rapid, thanks again for your thoughts and advice on the subject. I keep trying to replay the sexcapade over and over in my head trying to determine whether or not my penis may have accidently slid in his lubed anus during our frottage session. I do remember that once I felt my head and the anus together I panicked, relocated it and started grinding again (stupid i know). If it DID briefly touch inside the anus, would this be an exposure?
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If you would have entered someones anus you wouldn't be here wondering if you did, you would know.
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As Rod has already repeatedly and accurately told you, what you have described did not constitute a risk for HIV transmission.
You are dabbling around in WHAT IFS, which is quite something else and is not a healthy space to hang around in.
From what you have said previously you weren't at risk in this situation. I say let it go and move on with your life.
If you're going to hang on to bothering yourself about it, then get tested at 13 weeks, collect the inevitable negative result and stamp the case closed. PEP is not warranted in this situation and is not something to be embarked upon simply because your mind is bothering you with WHAT IFS.
You have to decide if you need to do that to let go of what reads like an unwarranted fear to me.
Cheers,
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I've been trying to sort these issues out in my head for quite a while now, but realize that it is DEFINETELY now time to start living my life, and confront the things that I keep going back to.
I sincerely appreciate Rod and Andys help here, you've made it clear that I am being foolish and need to move on.
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Good. Get on with your life. It's way too short anyway to spend it worrying needlessly.
Cheers,
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My final concern is whether or not my very brief, one insertion of the head of my penis into the rectum, occuring during a frottage session gone wrong would be extremely worrisome of possible infection??? I think that this happened. I am racking myself over this, but just need this simple answer, your perspective guys.
I started a new job, and am not focusing like I need to be because of this. It really sucks, and I will NEVER put myself in this predicament again.
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I've answered this before. Do I think you had a real risk? NO!
But I am gradually being convinced that perhaps only testing and collecting the inevitable negative result will get you to let go of this nagging concern. If you can't let go, then get tested and stamp the matter CLOSED.
Cheers,
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I have been honestly trying to put this behind me and to begin living life as we've discussed before Andy. I am going to try harder this time.
Thanks again for your help and encouragement.
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As you guys have previously stated, I have had no REAL risk. I just want to make sure that I am interpreting everything right here-so the fact that during my anal frottage episode my penis just barely slipped in for a matter of seconds would not be considered a risk correct? This would seem like a pretty gray area, but I'm just trying to listen to you guys since you are the experts.
I have actually been doing much better lately, and am finally able to do the things I enjoy, like having peaceful thoughts over a good cup of coffee.
Hope all of you have a blessed Holiday season. :)
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Sincere - the mind is awesome in its ability to change frottage to penetration. Trust me, if you continue to obsess and replay the incident in your imagination, the scenario may morph into FULL unprotected intercourse. Perhaps not, but my point is that the nature of your posts seem to be flavored with guilt. Therapy is helping me observe my sexuality, guilt, and why I feel I need to be "punished" for my sexual behaviors (and why I mistakenly view HIV as a punishment). It may help for you to seek help.
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As you guys stated, I didn't have a risk if my penis never actually penetrated the other person; the problem is is that I have a strong feeling that it did briefly as I mentioned before; maybe a time or two. The reason I keep thinking this is because the person was very "loose", and also very "lubed up". Even if this did occur, after reading through the lessons, it seems my risk was be slim for aquiring hiv, but I can't seem to shake the possibility of it and the constant anxiety.
I also realize that symptoms don't mean a thing when it comes to the disease, but at 3 weeks after the incident I have a fungal infection in the crease of my leg and groin. It is getting better with creams and powder but I've never had this before. I also had a strange itchy-chest causing a cough and what felt like a lump in my throat for a few days along with this. No fever has occured, or headaches. My face has also been very red and blotchy on both sides lately, but I remember this happened some time a while ago too.
What do you guys make of this? If you don't recall my poss. exposure was protected receptive anal, unprotected insertive oral, and heavy frottage (atleast I am hoping it was frottage) in which I grinded my penis between my very promiscuous partner's heavy-lubricated butt cheeks, and may have slipped in very briefly a time or two.
Thanks again for your input and help, and I hope that you are enjoying the holiday season so far.
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one other thing, it is almost 4 weeks post-encounter. Should I test for peace of mind at 6 weeks through the oraquick tests? There is a free clinic nearby.
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Reread the replies you have been given. You didn't need to test for a non risk situation. Please do not use the resources of a free clinic for a non risk test. If you want to test for a non risk situation, please forfit the money out of your own pocket.
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I can understand where you are coming from rod, and I know these clinics work with limited resources. But like you all stated before, I will have to test for peace of mind because the factor that I could have had a risk is still there and that is to much for me to just dust off my sleeve. The fact that I'm not 100% sure if I inserted or not is reason enough for me to be skeptical. I am trying to remain hopeful about it, but the doubt is still there unfortunatly. I wish it wasn't :(
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I am going to try a different approach to this and listen to the advice you are giving me Rapidrod. I am being irrational about this whole thing and I apologize for the stubborn side of me coming througjh. Time to live my life again without the worry. Thanks again for your words Rapid.
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j_friend, I've read your scenerio and am happy that everything turned out good for you. It seems we have had a similar "history" as far as the female/Ts thing and guilt in addition. I'm glad things are looking up for you. I'm hoping everything will pan-out here too.
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because of the tremendous anxiety i was going through, I went and tested through my dr. at the 7 week mark using the oral/orasure method. he is pretty up to date on the current guidelines, and practices in the downtown dallas area. The results were neg., but I still can't seem to shake the worry that I more than likely had a brief unprotected insertive encounter. about 4 weeks after, I had unprotected intercourse with my gf and now she has been complaining of multiple symptoms, stiffness in the neck, aching shoulders, numbness in the face, lips and mouth, aches in knees and beneath groin (crease of legs), and bad pounding headaches. only a slight bout of fever and sore throat accompanied. on another note she has been under a great amount of stress lately. i intend on retesting at the 3 month mark.
what do you make of all of this in the meantime? your help in greatly apprec. once again.
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You do need help, but not by testing. You were told you didn't have a risk several times. What is happening to your gf has nothing to do with you. You can't give something you don't have.
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sincere,
You and your girlfriend have unprotected intercourse? I hope you've tested for all STIs together. You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL STIs together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with a sexually transmitted infection. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.
Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.
Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.
If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.
Ann