Welcome, Guest. Please 
September 18, 2024, 11:38:58 am
symbol in each box.
Recent Posts81
Living With HIV / Re: Too much of a stress test!
« Last post by leatherman on September 11, 2024, 07:58:35 pm »Since the puppers don't tell time or know what's up, they decided we should get up at our normal time of 5am. that was fine with me especially since Larry called around 530. LOL He just wanted to tell me what I already know - hospitals are terrible places to stay. Oh sure, for the staff is just a daily shift job that they come in to do. Which means, consideration for people still living a normal day shift life often loses out to pills, blood draws, beeping whirring machines and too many lights. Besides that, Larry is just bored today.
However surgery is tomorrow morning. Prep starts at 6, surgery at 9. Doctor report to family? 12-2. depending on how things go.
I've been up there today already but will go back early evening for a bit. I'll be there 530am tomorrow bright and early (well, it'll still be dark but you know what i mean) to see him before everything starts.
Needless to say there's been a lot for me to think about. Unfortunately a lot of my thinking has been about how I've been in this situation before. I have to say no matter how much I love Larry (and it's a lot!), Randy and Jim have been in my mind so much in the last 24 hours. Here I thought I had left those sad times behind, and yet here my thoughts are again. stupid PTSD.
I'm going to do like I've done before, and not talk with Larry about what-if things go badly. Since same sex marriage wasn't an option back when I was with Jim, at some point I had to talk about wills, car titles and property deeds. It wasn't a pretty chat as it forced Jim to face up to what might happen....and what did happen. Because I dropped the issue, I lost the car, power, water and eventually the house a few months later. This time though I have a car in my name, a house we co-signed for, and a marriage license. Thankfully, though it's hard to think about the bad options, I should be able to hold off the negative consequences for a longer time this time in a worst case scenario. Ugh. Being an adult sucks so bad.
Now for the hardest part tomorrow....waiting. Waiting to see if Larry survives or if I lose Larry. Of course, I'm rooting for survival; but you never know and I'll still be here regardless of the outcome. sigh.
However surgery is tomorrow morning. Prep starts at 6, surgery at 9. Doctor report to family? 12-2. depending on how things go.
I've been up there today already but will go back early evening for a bit. I'll be there 530am tomorrow bright and early (well, it'll still be dark but you know what i mean) to see him before everything starts.
Needless to say there's been a lot for me to think about. Unfortunately a lot of my thinking has been about how I've been in this situation before. I have to say no matter how much I love Larry (and it's a lot!), Randy and Jim have been in my mind so much in the last 24 hours. Here I thought I had left those sad times behind, and yet here my thoughts are again. stupid PTSD.
I'm going to do like I've done before, and not talk with Larry about what-if things go badly. Since same sex marriage wasn't an option back when I was with Jim, at some point I had to talk about wills, car titles and property deeds. It wasn't a pretty chat as it forced Jim to face up to what might happen....and what did happen. Because I dropped the issue, I lost the car, power, water and eventually the house a few months later. This time though I have a car in my name, a house we co-signed for, and a marriage license. Thankfully, though it's hard to think about the bad options, I should be able to hold off the negative consequences for a longer time this time in a worst case scenario. Ugh. Being an adult sucks so bad.
Now for the hardest part tomorrow....waiting. Waiting to see if Larry survives or if I lose Larry. Of course, I'm rooting for survival; but you never know and I'll still be here regardless of the outcome. sigh.
